Just Turkish

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Yup....I had a meltdown today.

I didn't go to meet with my friends as promised, yelled at my kids for making such a mess while I was at work all week and canceled our movie date AND skipped the daily chat Hamit and I have. To make matters worse, I didn't break out any wine and instead I popped some Benadryl and fell asleep for 4 hours because I was having a true meltdown. I just didn't want to deal with anything at all. God only knows where packet 3 is to top it off.

I guess one doesn't realize just how much stress they deal with until it comes to a boiling point. and Hamit really doesn't understand us complex Americans (how did we get this way and how do we stop?) and I tried to explain to him why everything was a crisis and it never seems to get through. Life is so much simpler in other countries without deadlines, live to work, crazy psychobabble, norms and political connectedness and where responsibility for self is expected. I mean this in a very positive way. I mean, we make mountains out of molehills. Look at our damned language for example; it is full of metaphors and similes, whereas Turkish is straightforward, as are most other languages. Hell, maybe it is just me.

Anyhow, I ended up apologizing to my friends, taking the kids to a drive-in movie albeit late. Chatted with Hamit before I left. Still need some wine.

I know Tanya, I sure didn't want to tella anyone either, but people ask so many questions at work that I slowly started telling people I trusted then others would overhear or see pics meant for 1 person and all hell has broken loose, but since I have worn a nazar (maybe a coincidence or not) people have been mostly well-wishing me and want me to have some kind of party....hmmmmm And yes, as soon as my dad found out, he tried to convince me HAmit was going to want 500 wives and so have 2 other nurses at work who worked in Saudi...but ummmm that is Saudi and not Turkey and Hamit is HAmit and not some polygamist. I remember these people got me worried and so I ended up grilling Hamit on this topic even though I knew he wouldn't do this....people.....gggrrrrrrrrrrrr

Julia, do you have anything planned when he gets here? Wendy? I am so jealous of Tanya's wedding...so romantic and sweet!! I think we are just doing the courthouse and imam thing and calling it a night when he gets here... small party later.

Anywho....how is everyone else?

We haven't started planning the wedding yet - won't do that until he gets here, but I want a traditional wedding - white dress, flowers, ceremony, reception - the whole shebang, albeit somewhat simple and small. I plan on this being my one and only wedding and I want it to be memorable! We will probably get legally married first, and have our wedding ceremony and reception later on after we've had time to plan. I can't wait!

[tanyakaraman 0]

My Grandma said once "That's so sad that he doesn't celebrate Christmas" with a look of sorrow and pity on her face. Oooh Grandma. She has also repeatedly asked me where he is going to live when he comes here (her way of showing her disapproval that we will be living together before marriage).

That's funny... As if he (and a couple million plus other ppl in the world) have been missing out big time because there's a holiday they have never celebrated. There are so many nice holidays in Turkey too, like Children's Day, that we don't have here...and I love the way ppl come together for iftar during Ramadan. Like Erika said....the family values are so much more intact there, whereas Christmas, in my opinion, has become so commercialized these days, its hardly any fun any more. Or maybe that's just because I'M the one spending all my money on it now LOL!

And, well, you won't be living together for very LONG before marriage...90 days at the very most!

Then there are those family members who won't even recognize the relationship and won't ask me about it. Do they think if they don't talk about it, it will disappear? As if their lack of congratulations on our engagement, their never asking about Onur, our relationship or the visa progress isn't blatantly obvious to me. It's like they will ask me/talk to me about everything else but that and act like everything is perfectly normal while completely avoiding that topic. I don't get it. I guess it's their way of showing their disapproval, or discomfort with it. Who knows. People need to get over themselves.

Ugh, yeah...they're probably just too uncomfortable & don't know what to say. Funny 'cause to those of us IN the relationship, it's the most natural thing in the world (take away all the immigration process, etc.) and to everyone else, I guess it seems...strange. Yeah, they do need to just get over it!

[tanyakaraman 0]

Yup....I had a meltdown today.

I didn't go to meet with my friends as promised, yelled at my kids for making such a mess while I was at work all week and canceled our movie date AND skipped the daily chat Hamit and I have. To make matters worse, I didn't break out any wine and instead I popped some Benadryl and fell asleep for 4 hours because I was having a true meltdown. I just didn't want to deal with anything at all. God only knows where packet 3 is to top it off.

I guess one doesn't realize just how much stress they deal with until it comes to a boiling point. and Hamit really doesn't understand us complex Americans (how did we get this way and how do we stop?) and I tried to explain to him why everything was a crisis and it never seems to get through. Life is so much simpler in other countries without deadlines, live to work, crazy psychobabble, norms and political connectedness and where responsibility for self is expected. I mean this in a very positive way. I mean, we make mountains out of molehills. Look at our damned language for example; it is full of metaphors and similes, whereas Turkish is straightforward, as are most other languages. Hell, maybe it is just me.

Anyhow, I ended up apologizing to my friends, taking the kids to a drive-in movie albeit late. Chatted with Hamit before I left. Still need some wine.

I know Tanya, I sure didn't want to tella anyone either, but people ask so many questions at work that I slowly started telling people I trusted then others would overhear or see pics meant for 1 person and all hell has broken loose, but since I have worn a nazar (maybe a coincidence or not) people have been mostly well-wishing me and want me to have some kind of party....hmmmmm And yes, as soon as my dad found out, he tried to convince me HAmit was going to want 500 wives and so have 2 other nurses at work who worked in Saudi...but ummmm that is Saudi and not Turkey and Hamit is HAmit and not some polygamist. I remember these people got me worried and so I ended up grilling Hamit on this topic even though I knew he wouldn't do this....people.....gggrrrrrrrrrrrr

Julia, do you have anything planned when he gets here? Wendy? I am so jealous of Tanya's wedding...so romantic and sweet!! I think we are just doing the courthouse and imam thing and calling it a night when he gets here... small party later.

Anywho....how is everyone else?

Wow, you really did have a meltdown! I thought you were just joking earlier! LOL. But sounds like you made it up in the end. You just needed that 4-hour nap first!

I like what you said about Turkish being straightforward, it's so true! Even the word for marriage - evlenmek - is straightforward....just means "making houses" And their names....I mean, here our names have meanings too, but you have to look them up to see what they are....their names are the actual word. So simple and nice.

Thanks for what you said about our wedding! It was nice, but I kinda wish my family & friends, etc. had been there. Although maybe it was so *perfect* because they weren't LOL. That's an awful thing to say, I know. We really want to have a second wedding in Turkey someday, but I'm not sure how or if that's ever going to happen. I would have liked to have an imam do ours too!

Yes, I heard the whole shpeal about polygamy too. Ppl were telling me (before he came here) that he probably had a wife or two already in Turkey and was just seeing me on the side! This was perpetuated when I explained to a couple ppl that I had to stay in a hotel because his landlord didn't approve of me staying at his apartment....they were like "yeah, right, its not his landlord who minds....it's his other WIFE!!!" Aggghhh!

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't break out any wine either.....just studied and studied until my mind went numb and I fell asleep.

Hope everyone has a happy Sunday!

[tanyakaraman 0]

Well said Tanya!!

Hi Julia. I love your picture too!! Such a beautiful couple!!

As far as the visa, we are still waiting for the approval notice to arrive at the Embassy. Nothing can be done until they receive that. Oh well, more time to lose weight!! (hopefully!)

Thanks for asking.

Hope its FAST Wendy! At least you know what the answer is now......just a little longer until he's here!!

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Have a great Sunday everyone! (And Monday too if you get MLK day off like me and Sibel )

It snowed all night here and is still coming down - it's those big fluffy snowflakes and the snow is so light and fluffy - so pretty! I told Onur that I wish he were here so we could go sledding and play in the snow, then come home and make hot chocolate and cuddle under a blanket on the couch. Someday!

[miamiwife 0]

Have a great Sunday everyone! (And Monday too if you get MLK day off like me and Sibel )

It snowed all night here and is still coming down - it's those big fluffy snowflakes and the snow is so light and fluffy - so pretty! I told Onur that I wish he were here so we could go sledding and play in the snow, then come home and make hot chocolate and cuddle under a blanket on the couch. Someday!

Oh, Julia--that sounds so romantic! Insallah by Valentine's Day

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

Yes, I think they do have nice holidays in Turkey, much better than our overrated Christmas which is as you said it Tanya: commercialized. I am in favor of Islamic holidays by far.

With that being said. I do have to praise the U.S a little..... At least we are much friendlier and gregarious. Turks are so "proper" it hurts me to think of living there if I had to. They don't teach their children the birds and the bees either! I have an interesting story Tanya if you tell me yours in a PM of course...LOFL!!

The women in Turkey, if you smile at them they look at you with evil in their eyes and they do this even if you walk down the street or are in the tramvay near them and NOT looking their way. grrrrrrrrr I looked at them evilly right back. I am sure this is a cultural faux-paus, but I don't give a bleep. Don't know if they hate Americans or if they hate Americans with "their" men.

Anyone with stories??

[tanyakaraman 0]

Well I don't have any stories about Turkish women looking at me funny, but I learned very quickly (the first time I was in Turkey, before I met Ozzy) not to make eye contact with men or speak to them at all (unless I wanted to get followed down the street and around the corner, and not ever get left alone!). I got followed around several times by men - including a couple police officers - who I had unintentionally sent the wrong message to, and almost ended up getting raped in the grand bazaar, just for being what I considered "friendly". I kinda learned that as a woman, you have to be more or less "aloof"...dont' look, don't speak, don't even respond if someone speaks to you, unless you want to lead them on.

Considering all that, it's kind of a miracle I met Ozzy at all, because the night we met (after several really bad experiences as noted above), I initially refused to speak to him or even stand next to him! LOL. Guess he was pretty persistent tho 'cause he won me over in the end

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Happy weekend everyone!

How was everyone's week? Any news? Onur's sister gave birth to a healthy baby boy last week and Onur is now an uncle for the first time (which means this will be my first nephew...soon!) I can't wait to have children of my own, but I am okay just being a teacher now and waiting for the right time. There are times that I feel like I am ready to be a mother, and other times when I feel like I still have a lot of growing up to do. Maybe in a few more years after Onur and I have been married for a couple years. I always thought that I would have children in my 20s, but it's starting to look like that may be late 20s at the very earliest. I hate that whole biological clock dilemma! Anyway, it will happen when the time is right.

Anyway - just wanted to say hi and check in! Didn't realize that I was going to go off on a tangent about child-bearing.

Hope everyone had a good week and has a fun and/or relaxing weekend!

[miamiwife 0]

We have reached 7 months of AP so I am going to treat myself to the local chocolate festival this weekend I am also watching Howie Do It--which is actually pretty funny! Hope all of you are having a good weekend.

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

I know Julia! Anyhow, the time is NEVER right and usually comes when you least expect it...yet I can tell you it is the BEST thing in the world. Tanya...when are you and Ozzy think you are going to have some babies? Wendy? Sardes? And we all know awaterlily already has a sweet lil girl and deb has a sweet boy....

I need advice.... :

How long until we get "packet 4" after sending in 3? On VJ it says like 1-3 days! This cannot be right...what were your experiences? (I am doing K-1.)

And.......can I call to make the appointment (he wants me to since it depends on my schedule)??

Any help is appreciated!

Thanks and al have a great weekend...Julia I am not having Absolut Turk but Absolut pears right now!.....stressful week

[miamiwife 0]

Erika--Packet 4 took about a 7-10 days to receive.

[awaterlily 0]

ITA, ask any parent, timing never seems right so you just have to make up your mind to do it.

Offer all the worries up to G*D.

I know Julia! Anyhow, the time is NEVER right and usually comes when you least expect it...yet I can tell you it is the BEST thing in the world. Tanya...when are you and Ozzy think you are going to have some babies? Wendy? Sardes? And we all know awaterlily already has a sweet lil girl and deb has a sweet boy....

I need advice.... :

How long until we get "packet 4" after sending in 3? On VJ it says like 1-3 days! This cannot be right...what were your experiences? (I am doing K-1.)

And.......can I call to make the appointment (he wants me to since it depends on my schedule)??

Any help is appreciated!

Thanks and al have a great weekend...Julia I am not having Absolut Turk but Absolut pears right now!.....stressful week

[awaterlily 0]

speaking of babies, I just have to share this sweet face....

Edited January 24, 2009 by awaterlily

[Ctrl+alt+delete 0]

Beautiful.............................................so very pretty..!!

(L) (L)