Just Turkish

[wendya 0]

Perpetual waiting

On the up side of it all, you DO have the approval.

I'm sending you positive thoughts and good vibes and pray this will be over very soon. :::hugs:::

Merhaba Herkes!!

I just got off the phone with the Embassy in Ankara (my eyes are a little blurry, it is 4:20 AM here in PA!!)

Can you believe it, they have not received Yilmaz's waiver approval from USCIS yet. And of course they don't have a time frame of when they will. She said we can start to get ready for when they schedule another interview for Yilmaz. We have to prepare the same K-1 papers as before!!!

Oh well, what is that saying, "Good things come to those who wait". Well there must be some awfully good things coming our way!!!!

As an aside, when I called, I missed the prompt for questions on the immigrant visa and was switched to the switchboard. The lady very nastly said, "Didn't you listen to the message" and just clicked me back to the start again! At least she didn't disconnect me, but geesh! Not very nice!!!

Have a good day everyone!!

Thank you so much awaterlily!! I am sorry that I missed your post earlier. I appreciate the good thoughts and hugs!!

Love,

Wendy

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

Hey Tanya.....yea..I know the whole jealousy selfish thing you mentioned...I was the same way when something similar happened to us back in September and I had to almost cancel our trip. I know exactly how you feel. But yea..we can't help it...we love them sooooo much and we worked so hard to be together that being apart would definitely suck for me too...I would be a big pouty baby feeling sorry for myself and ashamed at the same time

That's funny you had the same problems as we did. I had no idea and neither did he....so we were scrambling last minute. (hotels) Where did you end up staying? You remember?

SO what are you doing to keep your mind off it all? Poo, of course?

[tanyakaraman 0]

Hey Tanya.....yea..I know the whole jealousy selfish thing you mentioned...I was the same way when something similar happened to us back in September and I had to almost cancel our trip. I know exactly how you feel. But yea..we can't help it...we love them sooooo much and we worked so hard to be together that being apart would definitely suck for me too...I would be a big pouty baby feeling sorry for myself and ashamed at the same time

That's funny you had the same problems as we did. I had no idea and neither did he....so we were scrambling last minute. (hotels) Where did you end up staying? You remember?

SO what are you doing to keep your mind off it all? Poo, of course?

Yeah, I remember when you thought you were going to have to cancel your trip. Glad it turned out good tho.

The place we stayed in Istanbul was calledthe Gencler Hotel. It was a *beautiful* hotel...right on the shore of the Marmaris. Beautiful breakfast buffet every morning by the sea...lawn chairs and umbrellas for relaxing on the beach and music playing all day (even if it was Kool and the Gang, old Madonna, etc., LOL)....and a guy walking up and down the beach selling midye dolma...aaaaaaahhhhhh how I love midye dolma! I could die happy eating those things!

http://www.hotelleriye.com/hotels/gencler~hotel.html

I always tell him I wanna go back there someday. I have a funny story to tell you about when we checked out tho LOL. I'm cracking up now just thinking about it...

Oh trust me, first week of the new semester and I'm loaded down with work already! No poo yet tho, that starts on Tuesday

How's the poo in your world?

[JULIAFERNO 0]

I am so sick of hearing everyone's two cents about this visa process.

People try to tell me "well, if you did this..." or "if he did that..." as if they know better than me. I am talking about people who have no experience with the immigration process. People just love to give their two cents and scrutinize other people's lives and never expect the magnifying glass to be turned back around on them.

Onur lives at home with his parents and is currently not in school and not working. As you all know, the Turkish economy sucks even more than ours. While he has a few years of university under his belt, he hasn't finished and he hasn't done his military service yet, therefore his chance of finding an even somewhat decent job that pays more than $200/month is nearly impossible...especially where he lives. I refuse to let him work some ####### job 80 hours a week for next to nothing like a slave laborer. If it were up to him, he'd be in the army right now...but we've been applying for this visa for the last 14 months - if his visa is approved and he is in the army during that time, he can't leave the country and we are screwed. I am sick of the "so what does he do?" questions and the judgments that ensue. I know that it is easy to judge, but until you have walked in someone else's shoes - don't! People have no idea what life is like in another country, like Turkey, yet assume that the same standards and principles apply. My aunt told me just today "But if he were working and making money, he probably would have gotten his visa already." Argh!

Sorry - just needed to vent.

Edited January 16, 2009 by JULIAFERNO

[JULIAFERNO 0]

I am so sick of hearing everyone's two cents about this visa process.

People try to tell me "well, if you did this..." or "if he did that..." as if they know better than me. I am talking about people who have no experience with the immigration process. People just love to give their two cents and scrutinize other people's lives and never expect the magnifying glass to be turned back around on them.

Onur lives at home with his parents and is currently not in school and not working. As you all know, the Turkish economy sucks even more than ours. While he has a few years of university under his belt, he hasn't finished and he hasn't done his military service yet, therefore his chance of finding an even somewhat decent job that pays more than $200/month is nearly impossible...especially where he lives. I refuse to let him work some ####### job 80 hours a week for next to nothing like a slave laborer. If it were up to him, he'd be in the army right now...but we've been applying for this visa for the last 14 months - if his visa is approved and he is in the army during that time, he can't leave the country and we are screwed. I am sick of the "so what does he do?" questions and the judgments that ensue. I know that it is easy to judge, but until you have walked in someone else's shoes - don't! People have no idea what life is like in another country, like Turkey, yet assume that the same standards and principles apply. My aunt told me just today "But if he were working and making money, he probably would have gotten his visa already." Argh!

Sorry - just needed to vent.

Maybe I need to send this article to all of the critics.

http://www.wsws.org/articles/2008/may2008/turk-m16.shtml

[wendya 0]

Oh Julia, I know what you mean!! Yilmaz doesn't work all the time. Right before the down turn he was working steadily in construction and had good paying, big jobs. But now, not much.

It is bothersome when people pass judgement!!!

We are all sending our good thoughts and prayers for you and Onur and Erika and Hamit!!! Sibel too!!

Big Hugs!!!

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Oh Julia, I know what you mean!! Yilmaz doesn't work all the time. Right before the down turn he was working steadily in construction and had good paying, big jobs. But now, not much.

It is bothersome when people pass judgement!!!

We are all sending our good thoughts and prayers for you and Onur and Erika and Hamit!!! Sibel too!!

Big Hugs!!!

Thanks Wendy. Hugs to you too! Any news?

[tanyakaraman 0]

Julia, I love your new pic! You and Onur look so cute together!

Don't worry about the naysayers. They'll always be there, making inappropriate, unhelpful, insensitive comments, sometimes well intentioned, sometimes not. That is often still the case after the foreign SO gets his visa and comes here, trust me. Just try to tune out the upsetting things they say. And go ahead and vent anytime you need to...that's one thing VJ is great for.

Someday all this will be in the past and you two will be able to look back and laugh about all the crazy things ppl have said to you.

[wendya 0]

Well said Tanya!!

Hi Julia. I love your picture too!! Such a beautiful couple!!

As far as the visa, we are still waiting for the approval notice to arrive at the Embassy. Nothing can be done until they receive that. Oh well, more time to lose weight!! (hopefully!)

Thanks for asking.

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

Wowww Julia and Ferno you two look superlicous!...jk...I know, no such word, but ya know what I mean...lol

Naysayers are annoying, but only we know the truth. I get this too and I don;t even tell them he gave up on working a decent job (gasp in America) and yes, your article says it all. I mean, who in their right mind would want to work a job that pays so little and then to have to give most of that money just to pay a cab to get to and from work??? Ludicrous. Idiotic. Naysayers should try doing this and see how much they will pass judgment afterward. And I love the "oh, he's just using you for a visa"....yea...not so much. Bad economy and all in Turkey at least they have some family values left and if this is something important to a person (as it is to us), why oh why would one want to come to America? People here seems to think that true love cannot exist. They are correct as far as the U.S goes in my opinion; so I see why they cannot grasp this concept. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Just one example folks. Not that I don't love America, it is just an example.

I am pissed too, Julia-about this visa, about waiting, about everything, although I know you have been going through much more. Today just kinda sucks for me. Just one of those days you just feel blah and down. I was telling Hamit about your wine and music sessions and said that would be me if we have go through AP or any other waiting BS not expected.

Tanya ...I am up to poo in all ways and forms...work I am soooooooooooooo burnt from and poo is just one of the substances I deal with. I got yelled at yesterday by a family member losing it, because as you know nurses are responsible for everything...every facet of the patients life...................I want to lose it too!

So this doesn't let up (all the naysaying) once he is here Tanya? Nice..............'

Thanks Wendy for the wishes! You are trying to lose weight? I have gained like 15 lbs from stress over packet 3. Now that I sent it off (insallah it gets there ) I have other things to worry about...guess I am just overwhelmed.

Julia, let us all have a meltdown here on VJ!!!

Now break out the wine

[miamiwife 0]

I tell people who say well, if he had education, a better job, etc.--that we are not applying for a worker's visa--it is a marriage visa and they do not care what the person does.

[tanyakaraman 0]

Tanya ...I am up to poo in all ways and forms...work I am soooooooooooooo burnt from and poo is just one of the substances I deal with. I got yelled at yesterday by a family member losing it, because as you know nurses are responsible for everything...every facet of the patients life...................I want to lose it too!

Ugh, that is one thing I'm not sure I'm up to dealing with....I don't yell at ppl and I don't expect to get yelled at...ever. I know ppl are under stress when their loved ones are sick, but is that a good enough reason to abuse the person trying to help them get better? Guess it comes with the territory tho....I was yelled at by a pt my first semester lol. She called me a liar (cause she wanted her bed up more and I tried to tell her it was up as far as it could go already), then ordered me to "get out of her room and get the REAL nurse!!!". Way to rip someone's self confidence to shreds, huh?!

So this doesn't let up (all the naysaying) once he is here Tanya? Nice..............

Ha, that's when the real fun begins! Or did for me anyway....of course that might have something to do with me giving out as little information as possible to ppl who didn't need to know (and some ppl who prolly did need to know!) prior to him coming here. Verrry few ppl had a true inkling of our relationship prior to that, so as you can imagine, our wedding came as quite a shock to a lot of folks LOL.

My grandparents, for example - who mind you, had never met Ozzy and had certainly never spoken to him regarding religion (or any other subject for that matter) - sent him a book for Christmas last year that was meant to try to get him to convert from Islam to Christianity! They might as well have signed the card: "Our religion is superior to yours (or at least the religion we assume you follow)....well Merry Christmas anyway and welcome to the family!"

Ugghhh!

Now break out the wine

Amen sista......I'll bring a nice bottle of reisling!

Edited January 18, 2009 by tanyakaraman

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Tanya ...I am up to poo in all ways and forms...work I am soooooooooooooo burnt from and poo is just one of the substances I deal with. I got yelled at yesterday by a family member losing it, because as you know nurses are responsible for everything...every facet of the patients life...................I want to lose it too!

Ugh, that is one thing I'm not sure I'm up to dealing with....I don't yell at ppl and I don't expect to get yelled at...ever. I know ppl are under stress when their loved ones are sick, but is that a good enough reason to abuse the person trying to help them get better? Guess it comes with the territory tho....I was yelled at by a pt my first semester lol. She called me a liar (cause she wanted her bed up more and I tried to tell her it was up as far as it could go already), then ordered me to "get out of her room and get the REAL nurse!!!". Way to rip someone's self confidence to shreds, huh?!

So this doesn't let up (all the naysaying) once he is here Tanya? Nice..............

Ha, that's when the real fun begins! Or did for me anyway....of course that might have something to do with me giving out as little information as possible to ppl who didn't need to know (and some ppl who prolly did need to know!) prior to him coming here. Verrry few ppl had a true inkling of our relationship prior to that, so as you can imagine, our wedding came as quite a shock to a lot of folks LOL.

My grandparents, for example - who mind you, had never met Ozzy and had certainly never spoken to him regarding religion (or any other subject for that matter) - sent him a book for Christmas last year that was meant to try to get him to convert from Islam to Christianity! They might as well have signed the card: "Our religion is superior to yours (or at least the religion we assume you follow)....well Merry Christmas anyway and welcome to the family!"

Ugghhh!

Now break out the wine

Amen sista......I'll bring a nice bottle of reisling!

My Grandma said once "That's so sad that he doesn't celebrate Christmas" with a look of sorrow and pity on her face. Oooh Grandma. She has also repeatedly asked me where he is going to live when he comes here (her way of showing her disapproval that we will be living together before marriage).

Then there are those family members who won't even recognize the relationship and won't ask me about it. Do they think if they don't talk about it, it will disappear? As if their lack of congratulations on our engagement, their never asking about Onur, our relationship or the visa progress isn't blatantly obvious to me. It's like they will ask me/talk to me about everything else but that and act like everything is perfectly normal while completely avoiding that topic. I don't get it. I guess it's their way of showing their disapproval, or discomfort with it. Who knows. People need to get over themselves.

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

Yup....I had a meltdown today.

I didn't go to meet with my friends as promised, yelled at my kids for making such a mess while I was at work all week and canceled our movie date AND skipped the daily chat Hamit and I have. To make matters worse, I didn't break out any wine and instead I popped some Benadryl and fell asleep for 4 hours because I was having a true meltdown. I just didn't want to deal with anything at all. God only knows where packet 3 is to top it off.

I guess one doesn't realize just how much stress they deal with until it comes to a boiling point. and Hamit really doesn't understand us complex Americans (how did we get this way and how do we stop?) and I tried to explain to him why everything was a crisis and it never seems to get through. Life is so much simpler in other countries without deadlines, live to work, crazy psychobabble, norms and political connectedness and where responsibility for self is expected. I mean this in a very positive way. I mean, we make mountains out of molehills. Look at our damned language for example; it is full of metaphors and similes, whereas Turkish is straightforward, as are most other languages. Hell, maybe it is just me.

Anyhow, I ended up apologizing to my friends, taking the kids to a drive-in movie albeit late. Chatted with Hamit before I left. Still need some wine.

I know Tanya, I sure didn't want to tella anyone either, but people ask so many questions at work that I slowly started telling people I trusted then others would overhear or see pics meant for 1 person and all hell has broken loose, but since I have worn a nazar (maybe a coincidence or not) people have been mostly well-wishing me and want me to have some kind of party....hmmmmm And yes, as soon as my dad found out, he tried to convince me HAmit was going to want 500 wives and so have 2 other nurses at work who worked in Saudi...but ummmm that is Saudi and not Turkey and Hamit is HAmit and not some polygamist. I remember these people got me worried and so I ended up grilling Hamit on this topic even though I knew he wouldn't do this....people.....gggrrrrrrrrrrrr

Julia, do you have anything planned when he gets here? Wendy? I am so jealous of Tanya's wedding...so romantic and sweet!! I think we are just doing the courthouse and imam thing and calling it a night when he gets here... small party later.

Anywho....how is everyone else?

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

I meant to say politically incorrect NOT connect