Just Turkish

[Deb_Res 0]

Oh yes! The tea! He must have several cups per day! And OMG! The sugar!!! He practically goes through 10 pounds of sugar a month just in his tea! I forgot about the sugar! It's amazing how he stays so thin! I don't get it!

Have a great day all!

~Deb

Thank you Katie, Kaan, and Deb and Resul,

I was laughing out loud when I read your posts also. I have experienced the same things. I do, however, find these "idiosyncrasies" endearing!! (As I am sure you do too, Katie and Deb).

I know what you mean about the tea. It is a good thing I love tea!! At least I don't put the amount of sugar in mine as Yilmaz does. (and for such a little glass).

I tend to get very hot, and if I don't wear a jacket or bundle up, Yilmaz is always telling me I am going to catch a cold.

Ah, our Turkish counterparts, they make life worth living!!!!

Have a good day everyone!!

Wendy

[Mina76 0]

Welcome to our group Katie and Kaan

Merhaba Everyone!

I guess I was not the only one finding these little quirks of our turkish spouses very interesting, funny huh?

But since when did I also become a trained and licensed masseuse?

Every night my husband wants a massage, the money I could have made by now giving him these massages! Really, it's enough to give me sored muscles just thinking that I have to give him a massage every night when I'am tired from a hard day at work, let alone having to cook and clean when I get home too you got to be kidding me???!!!

As Wendy puts it best at finding these "idiosyncrasies" endearing, they may be to some, but not really

[wendya 0]

Oh Mina, you are so funny. Tell Coskun to pamper you once in awhile. We (us women/wives) deserve a little TLC every now and then.

I do know what you mean about the massages too. Yilmaz loves his back rubbed. But after I rub his back for awhile, I tell him it is my turn (funny how it seems to never last as long as his does). Oh well, I guess I have my "training" cut out for me. (ha, ha)

Talk to you later,

Wendy

[wendya 0]

Merhaba Everyone,

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Here is to wishing everyone a good week ahead. Does anyone have any plans for the summer?

Hoscakal,

Wendy

[celikkanat 0]

Merhaba Everyone,

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Here is to wishing everyone a good week ahead. Does anyone have any plans for the summer?

Hoscakal,

Wendy

Merhaba,

I dont have any special plan, I am working all summer. Katie will visit her parents in August. We will visit them again in Thankgiving.. Last year, it was great.. I put at least 5 pounds in a week:)

Take care everybody.

Tasfirin Kaan

[Mina76 0]

Merhaba Everyone,

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Here is to wishing everyone a good week ahead. Does anyone have any plans for the summer?

Hoscakal,

Wendy

Merhaba everyone,

Actually Wendy, I'am planning to visit Turkey again in August for 2 weeks. It was an unexpected trip but I'am looking forward to being able to travel again since it has been a while now and I have sooo much missed being in Istanbul.

My husband Coskun is there now and because we were not able to celebrate our second Wedding Anniversary together this year he said he make it up to me by taking me to Bodrum, I had only been there once and wanted sooo very much to go there again B)

Since getting married I had gained a few pounds that I decided to go ahead and lose this weight since my husband is not here and I have no one to cook for, so far I have lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks. Hopefully by August I would have lost all the weight and be able to surprise my husband with a much slimmer wife then when he had last seen me

Anyway that is pretty much what is happening now and I will try to keep busy until then. So how is everything with all the other turkish couples, anything new with anyone else here???

Well take care everyone,

Mina

[awaterlily 0]

Have a safe & happy 4th of July.

[wendya 0]

Thank you awaterlily!!!

[minikguvercin 0]

Merhaba everybody! I have been lurking for quite a while, reading all the posts. The K1 K3 visa process is just overwhelming, and my Turkish boyfriend and I are finally getting ready to tackle it. We met on the internet on November 19, 2005. I visited him in Turkey twice, for 3 weeks each, met his folks, etc. I loved Turkey as a tourist, but I don't think I could live there permanently. I looked for a job in Turkey so we could be together, but absolutely nothing went right, so we started thinking about living in the USA together instead.

Well, it has come to the point where we just cannot do without each other. Now we are planning on bringing my boyfriend to the USA in October on a visitors visa. I think this is important. What if he's as uncomfortable here as I was in Turkey? I think we need to find out before we start the process, which looks like it is going to be long and expensive. Anyway, I have a couple of questions.

If he likes it here, could we file the 129F whle he is still in the USA? Can he just stay here on his tourist visa for a few months until everything is processed and it is tíme for his interview in Ankara? Then we could go back to Turkey together for the interview, right? And stay there until he gets the visa? How long could that take? I really don't understand the time lines, although I have been reading everything and trying hard to absorb it all. Lastly, what if we just got married in the U.S. while he is on the tourist visa? Would that make the process longer and more difficult?

I have an additional problem. My boyfriend is only 22. He's a student and has not completed his Turkish army service. He plans on being a student for a long time, probably doing his MBA here in the USA. I understand he will eventually have to return to Turkey to serve his army time or he will lose his Turkish citizenship. I am also under the impression that, since he has not served his army time, we cannot get married in Turkey.

Maybe you are wondering,¨what's the rush? You have your whole lives ahead of you.¨ Let's just say that we have an unusual situation that is spurring us into action. (And it isn't a pregnancy)

Any feedback on this situation would be greatly appreciated.

Peace and Love,

Little Dove

[celikkanat 0]

Well, it has come to the point where we just cannot do without each other. Now we are planning on bringing my boyfriend to the USA in October on a visitors visa. I think this is important. What if he's as uncomfortable here as I was in Turkey? I think we need to find out before we start the process, which looks like it is going to be long and expensive. Anyway, I have a couple of questions.

Merhaba minikguvercin,

I completely agree with you that it is really important for you and your boyfriend to find out whether he could live here or not.. It is really hard for some people to leave the family, friends etc. and move to another country.

If he likes it here, could we file the 129F whle he is still in the USA? Can he just stay here on his tourist visa for a few months until everything is processed and it is tíme for his interview in Ankara? Then we could go back to Turkey together for the interview, right? And stay there until he gets the visa? How long could that take? I really don't understand the time lines, although I have been reading everything and trying hard to absorb it all. Lastly, what if we just got married in the U.S. while he is on the tourist visa? Would that make the process longer and more difficult?

If he likes it here, you do not need to file 129F since he would be here with a visitor visa. I-129F is for finance visa, to bring your fiance here to marry in 90 days. As far as I understand, you dont need to do anything until you decide to get married..

One day, when you are ready to get married, you need to file I-485, I-130 etc.. to adjust his status.

But if you think that he will be back to Turkey once he feels that he can live here, you can submit -i129f to get him a fiance visa. But as far as I know, this process takes longer time, and when he gets that visa, you need to marry him in 90 days once he comes to US.

As you see, in both case, you need to make sure that you are ready to get married!. It is not easy to decide..

Instead of waiting i-129f, It would be better him to come here with tourist visa, may be go to a school, and whenever you guys are ready, you can get married, then apply for a adjustment of status..

Please do not forget that he cannot work here legally with visitor visa.

I have an additional problem. My boyfriend is only 22. He's a student and has not completed his Turkish army service. He plans on being a student for a long time, probably doing his MBA here in the USA. I understand he will eventually have to return to Turkey to serve his army time or he will lose his Turkish citizenship. I am also under the impression that, since he has not served his army time, we cannot get married in Turkey.

There is no such thing that he cannot get married before finishing his military service. He can marry you in TURKEY before going to military service.

I havent completed my military service, and I am married. My parents were married when my dad went to army. I even remember the day he left home.

Studying can postpone military service for a while but he still has to do it at some point. Anyone who work in a foreign country more than 3 years and pay taxes, can do military service for only 3 weeks..yes only 3 weeks, but you also have to pay 5000 Euro(around $7,000). It would be the best option. Otherwise he either has to do it for 15 months (without a college degree) or 6 months (with a college degree).

I have got my Phd in US, but it wouldnt help me to make my military service any shorter, If i didnt work here for more than 3 years.

Maybe you are wondering,¨what's the rush? You have your whole lives ahead of you.¨ Let's just say that we have an unusual situation that is spurring us into action. (And it isn't a pregnancy)

Any feedback on this situation would be greatly appreciated.

Peace and Love,

Little Dove

I wouldnt say "what's rush", but I would say that it is really important that he has to come here and see the life before making any commitment to you. For many people in Turkey-and in rest of the world-, life seems beautiful and so easy in US, at least thats how they see in Hollywood movies. As all of knows, thats not true. Life is tough here, you need to work hard to accomplish what you want.. I agree this country gives opportunities that I appreciate, but without hard work, none of them helps.

I dont know your boyfriend, but most college students in Turkey have never worked before graduation due to many reasons. There is a great possibility that he has not worked before either.. When you work first time, especially in a foreign country, and especially If you are doing something that you dont like; he may not like US right away, and that may affect your relationships too..

I am sorry If I talk to much. I just want you and him to think twice when you make plans for your future.

By the way, I have been living in NY-NJ area for 6 years. I came to a graduate school here, and finished my Phd, I have been working for 4 years. I just got married in May, and we applied for adjustment of status last month.

Thats all I can think of at this point.

Good luck to you and your boyfriend.

Take care,

Kaan.

[awaterlily 0]

Congrats and good luck with your interview! Keep us VJers posted with the outcome!

Thank you awaterlily!!!

[wendya 0]

Thanks again awaterlily on the good wishes for our upcoming interview. I will post the outcome.

Kaan,what a wonderful response you wrote to minikguvercin!! I learned a lot from it too!! Wow, what great people we have on this site!!

Take Care everyone,

Wendy

[celikkanat 0]

Thanks again awaterlily on the good wishes for our upcoming interview. I will post the outcome.

Kaan,what a wonderful response you wrote to minikguvercin!! I learned a lot from it too!! Wow, what great people we have on this site!!

Take Care everyone,

Wendy

Hi Wendy,

Thank you for your sweet comments.

I hope everything goes well in the interview.

Have a nice weekend.

Kaan

[Ctrl+alt+delete 0]

Merhaba Everyone,

Glad to see activity here. I have been super busy, not much time to come and read the forum much less respond, as I would like too.

I have received messages from a few of you and please forgive me for not responding. I am having some time management issues and just plain tired.... seems like if its not year end, its month end or tax time....ect..ect..At times I don’t know why I chose accounting for a career! Just burn out!

About bread and other types of food/drinks......My husband can eat some serious pilav (rice). Also loves juice and bread also. He too uses LOTS of sugar in his tea, lol. I am told almost every morning to hurry up and dry my hair. yep...

Wonderful post Kaan! Great information.

Anyways, thought I would poke my head in and say HI. Glad to hear everyone is doing well.

Congratulations to those who have a new addition to the family

tesekkurler.

Peace

Debbie

[minikguvercin 0]

Hey Kaan,

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. It was extremely helpful! You do NOT talk too much. I read every word with interest!

I didn't know that you could get married to someone on a tourist visa and then just apply for an adjustment of status. Do I understand you correctly? Does this mean he doesn't have to go back to Turkey to complete the process? That if we get married, he could just stay here forever?

I also thought the practice of buying one's way out of army time in Turkey was no longer possible, as of 2 or 3 years ago.

Incidentally, I have a friend in Turkey with a Ph.D. who had to do 6 months. He said it was the best time of his life. Because he had an advanced degree, he was placed in a special unit, near Antalya, I think, with other educated people, and all they did was go out drinking every night (!). I hope your army stint will be just as pleasant.

Peace and Love,

Little Dove.