why oh, why wont she have some fun

[monagoz 2]

Instead of jumping on this woman, I think we should feel sorry for her. Obviously she could not fathom the thought of her "friend" falling truly in LOVE with an african so much as to devote herself courageously and totally to him. This speaks volume about her character and her life experience. What you need to do is to concern yourself with your life - if you have any in the first place and leave this sister alone.

As for your very dumb insinuation about African and national geographic, just stop kidding yourself. There are so many Africans here in America doing just fine, and I bet you, you have them at your job - that is if you have one. And I know you've come in contact some of them. What is killing you is that finally, your "friend" has found a good man to love and cherish. Something you've never ever had in your life.

I only pray that you find true love someday and only then you will begin to understand and appreciate what your "friend" is feeling right now.

[Bashorun 1]

Oh Wow, I have been away from you guys and already you are talking about me behind my back, LOL.

Well now, where do I start.

Yes, I have been through the ringer in some very bad and detrimental relationships, since my "friend" had to put me on blast, and yes, I have taken my self off of the market, and....NO, I am not going to entertain the adult "alternative recreation devices" industry, thank you very much "Patti" it was a nice touch though

Lets see, to "Alex and KNL" she is not in love with me, she just loves me as a little sister...and that is just wierd, eewwwww

To "Chis, Zee, Efia, Be, Queen, Omoba" and everyone else,

I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY CYBER HEART for explaining this to my associate, *cough* friend since "diapers". I can't believe she actually put that in here . I have been attempting to enlighten her on the aspects of my new life and all that it entails, but being from chi-town and having to adopt/adapt to the "fake it to make in order to survive" mentality is more than a mantra, if you are not strong enough, it can consume you and your psyche and thus manifesting itself into your life.

I broke away from the majority of that and took lifes lessons with me, I cut loose some very toxic people and I only kept around those that were tried and true.

The young lady that started this thread, they don't come no more tried and no more truer.

She is definitely a ride or die chick from the west side of chicago and I thank God for her, and for her keeping me grounded.

So that being said, this thread can close now if the MODs' see fit.

Peace to everyone.

UNO

P.S. To Chis, you are very perceptive, she is not going to lose me or our friendship, just like I was blessed to have my comforter manifested in my husband, she is gaining an extension of me, manifested in my husband who is going to love her as one of his sisters.

She and I have/had to learn to stop punishing everyman for what we did not get from our fathers or past relationships and allow God to bring people (husbands/wives) into our lives and show us his (Gods) love and then learn how to accept his (Gods) love through these people.

Well, I don't know the kind of friendship U have with the OP but I know something and that something is that she is trying to get inbetween a marriage with whatever she has posted and if ur husband ever has the opportunity to see what she posted, am sure he wouldn't like her one bit. From what I read of her post, she sounded more angry with the fact that she is lossing the time u both give each other and the way U have fun together and the reason for all these is the african man U married who is sea far away.

But again, let me advise U and will use the word please here. Keep ur friend as a friend and ur husband as ur husband. Why? becos when it gets into the stage whereby ur husband wants you to choose between him or ur friend then you know U have got it wrong along the line. Either U didn't straighten some stuffs out on time and allowed an outer force inbetween your marriage. Why am I saying this? cos I don't want another woman coming here and keep posting she got scamed by an african man. There are things african men can't stand and am sorry to say, u r heading towards that path.

[Simply_Uno 1]

Oh Wow, I have been away from you guys and already you are talking about me behind my back, LOL.

Well now, where do I start.

Yes, I have been through the ringer in some very bad and detrimental relationships, since my "friend" had to put me on blast, and yes, I have taken my self off of the market, and....NO, I am not going to entertain the adult "alternative recreation devices" industry, thank you very much "Patti" it was a nice touch though

Lets see, to "Alex and KNL" she is not in love with me, she just loves me as a little sister...and that is just wierd, eewwwww

To "Chis, Zee, Efia, Be, Queen, Omoba" and everyone else,

I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY CYBER HEART for explaining this to my associate, *cough* friend since "diapers". I can't believe she actually put that in here . I have been attempting to enlighten her on the aspects of my new life and all that it entails, but being from chi-town and having to adopt/adapt to the "fake it to make in order to survive" mentality is more than a mantra, if you are not strong enough, it can consume you and your psyche and thus manifesting itself into your life.

I broke away from the majority of that and took lifes lessons with me, I cut loose some very toxic people and I only kept around those that were tried and true.

The young lady that started this thread, they don't come no more tried and no more truer.

She is definitely a ride or die chick from the west side of chicago and I thank God for her, and for her keeping me grounded.

So that being said, this thread can close now if the MODs' see fit.

Peace to everyone.

UNO

P.S. To Chis, you are very perceptive, she is not going to lose me or our friendship, just like I was blessed to have my comforter manifested in my husband, she is gaining an extension of me, manifested in my husband who is going to love her as one of his sisters.

She and I have/had to learn to stop punishing everyman for what we did not get from our fathers or past relationships and allow God to bring people (husbands/wives) into our lives and show us his (Gods) love and then learn how to accept his (Gods) love through these people.

Well, I don't know the kind of friendship U have with the OP but I know something and that something is that she is trying to get inbetween a marriage with whatever she has posted and if ur husband ever has the opportunity to see what she posted, am sure he wouldn't like her one bit.

He probably wont, but he is going to have to understand her perspective on the situation and know that I ultimately did what is right for us and by us.

From what I read of her post, she sounded more angry with the fact that she is lossing the time u both give each other and the way U have fun together and the reason for all these is the african man U married who is sea far away.

But again, let me advise U and will use the word please here. Keep ur friend as a friend and ur husband as ur husband. Why? becos when it gets into the stage whereby ur husband wants you to choose between him or ur friend then you know U have got it wrong along the line. Either U didn't straighten some stuffs out on time and allowed an outer force inbetween your marriage. Why am I saying this? cos I don't want another woman coming here and keep posting she got scamed by an african man. There are things african men can't stand and am sorry to say, u r heading towards that path.

I thank you for your advise. As far as our friendship is concerned, like she so blatantly put it "we have been friends since diapers." So that should explain the depths of our relationship. As far as "my marriage" is concerned, that is my marriage and she is fully aware of that. Anybody that knows "UNO" knows that I know my priorities. My priorities are my kids (not by my husband), and my husband. She is worried about my well being and my not losing "self" to a self destructive relationship or to some one who is not deserving of me. As far as the "scamming" is concerned, you don't have to go trans-atlantic to get scammed, that happens here right in the good ole U.S. of A. Check out the "baby mama - daddy drama" situations, since those situations are common place, its not called scamming, its called "drama!" So as far as that goes, no one (atleast I'm not) thinking about being scammed. As far as the path that I am on, I pray that it is one which is blessed and graced by God, ordained by Jesus and protected by the Holy Ghost. I thank you all for your care and concern.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Uno, it's nice that you have a friend that worries about you and cares for your well being.

Her main concern, I gather, is that you might get hurt. I don't think anyone can be sure that you'll have a happy, problem-free marriage forever and ever. I believe all you can do is put your best foot forward and hope (and pray) for the best. Is it a risk? yes, it is. Your friend will have to make peace with that, you are already in love and married. True, you can't really know if your husband is "having something on the side", (well, who can really, even if you're living in the same house?), but you trust your husband, and you have his trust, this is a pilar of marriage that should not be broken. You certainly cannot cheat on him "just in case"...but you already know that, and I know you won't do it.

Your friend wants you to lighten up during the wait...Now, there's some good advice for you. Time is not going to pass any quicker if you stand by your computer just in case you get an email notification from USCIS. May I suggest a good ol' girls night out? go out for a movie, out to eat, have a few drinks and a few laughs (remember to designate a driver lol ). I used to go dancing with my friends before I moved here, we didn't flirt or danced with any guys, dancing and spending time with the girls is fun on it's own

(great, now I really miss my friends...carrying on...)

My last thought: Don't try to fight change, change will kick your butt. He's got time on it's corner.

Saludos,

Caro

[chispas 0]

She and I have/had to learn to stop punishing everyman for what we did not get from our fathers or past relationships and allow God to bring people (husbands/wives) into our lives and show us his (Gods) love and then learn how to accept his (Gods) love through these people.

Amen

[Queen Jenn 0]

Dear Uno,

I'm glad to know that the strength of your friendship is so strong. And I'm sure she really cares about you. I hope that your friendship is strong enough to survive this. I'm glad to know that she truly cares about you and doesn't want to see you hurt. (I lost my best friend over my international relationship). I hope that once your husband gets here that you will still be friends with your friend.

my thoughts to you is to keep your "marital business" between you and your husband. If you need advice, go to your spiritual leader. It can be risky when best friends get involved in marital problems or trials. And the adjustment when your husband gets here will be tough (not speaking from personal experience, only from what I've read here). It takes a lot of patience and understanding as the cultural adjustments for your husband will be very difficult.

GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING!!!

[chispas 0]

Uno, it's nice that you have a friend that worries about you and cares for your well being.

(great, now I really miss my friends...carrying on...)

No te preocupes Caro. Tendras mas amiguitas por aqui y entonces podras salir a pachangear de nuevo. SP

Don't worry Caro. You will have more girlfriends here and then you will be able to hang out again. ENG

:dancing:

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Uno, it's nice that you have a friend that worries about you and cares for your well being.

(great, now I really miss my friends...carrying on...)

No te preocupes Caro. Tendras mas amiguitas por aqui y entonces podras salir a pachangear de nuevo. SP

Don't worry Caro. You will have more girlfriends here and then you will be able to hang out again. ENG

:dancing:

Gracias Chispas!

Saludos,

Caro

[chispas 0]

No hay de que ( sin acento argentino)

No problem (without the Argentinian accent)