Financial differences between USC and SO

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

I have been reading some of the posts here and got to wondering about the average difference between the incomes of the USC and their significant other. I have seen some that are sending money there , some sending money here , some scrambling for backup sponsors. I am not looking for exact numbers but rather a comparison . Are you middle income and he upper ? In my case he is quite poor and I am comfortable. Do you think this will be a problem or has it been between you ? If the non USC was upper income how did they adjust to living here ? How many of you intend to live part time/full time there in later years ?

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

My SO is poor. I'm middle class. I would say when you average in my student loans, I'm probably poor. But I take advantage of a certain lifestyle, so if I lived the way he lives, I'd be rich! I live like a spoiled American. That's why he's moving here instead of me moving there. I learned a lot from my last relationship about money. I won't be as blind or ambivalent. I was also 12 years younger than I am now, so with age comes a certain amount of wisdom and life experience. I don't think it will break our relationship. I consider myself blessed because I come from a family of immigrants and really we were poor. My whole family has worked hard and we are all now home owners and a few have businesses, lawyers, nurses, engineers, etc. I have an advantage my daughter doesn't have, I KNOW what I have because I didn't have it for the majority of my life. Now, I own a home and thank God for it regularly. I have a vacation home and thank God for it regularly. My daughter has two bedrooms and recently told me that she needs more room. She's five years old. So, I've started a campaign to adjust her "reality". Now, I know that Bassi will have a HUGE adjustment period. It's going to be extremely difficult for him to adjust his paradigm to our economic system here. As we discussed in the other thread, most likely we won't be using any credit since I've stopped and he never started. But we've agreed to do the cash and carry thing. Having a mortgage may be difficult for him. He has never had one, though you can get one in Ghana. But we have a plan on how to work through it all together. Sitting down every two weeks together and dealing with money and making decisions jointly. My biggest fear is how to get through the unemployed period with both our sanity in tack. So, we're working on a list of things to keep him busy.

[knl 0]

This has nothing to do with the post, but I wanted to make a comment on what Zainab mentioned. Getting through the unemployment period. I didn't read much about it while in this forum, except that everyone hated the waiting.... I had my husband fly to JFK so he could get the EAD. We waited to get married, because we wanted to marry on the date we were first introduced. After we married, my husband started working and loved his job. We filed for AOS, almost 3 weeks after getting married. We waited for a couple reasons, mainly money, also I was so sick of the whole long drawn out process it took to get him here, I was taking a break from paperwork & USCIS. My husband had to stop working because like always USCIS takes their time and part my fault for not sending the paperwork early enough. He got his EAD card a couple days ago and is lucky enough to be able to go back to the same job.

Some of you probably read other forums and see how the AOS process is, but then again there could be some of you that don't because you are so caught up in the first part of your journey(like me). What we wish we would have done differently to avoid some of the unemployment period. AOS is very expensive $1,010. First we would have been saving money way in advance so we could have it, come AOS time. We would have got married 1 week of his arrival, at the court house(which is what we did anyway, but we got married more then a month after his arrival), then would have had the paperwork ready to be sent off to USCIS for the AOS right away. If your SO flys to JFK and gets EAD and starts working, he will hate it so much if he has to stop working, like my husband did. Like we all know USCIS takes their time and it doesn't make sense at most times. If we would have done what I just wrote now, there would have been no break in my husbands employment.

I didn't intend for this to be so long and should have probably started my own post. Sorry for the interruption,

by the way my husband was to be considered poor in Ghana

Me the USC, not sure if you class me poor or middle class here. I own a house, make too much to get food stamps, but had to have a co sponsor for my husband because I don't make enough to support 4 of us, according to the guidelines. Who knows maybe I'm inbetween poor and middle.

Now that theres two of us working we'll have plenty, we give thanks to God.

[ForeverAmen 0]

I have been reading some of the posts here and got to wondering about the average difference between the incomes of the USC and their significant other. I have seen some that are sending money there , some sending money here , some scrambling for backup sponsors. I am not looking for exact numbers but rather a comparison . Are you middle income and he upper ? In my case he is quite poor and I am comfortable. Do you think this will be a problem or has it been between you ? If the non USC was upper income how did they adjust to living here ? How many of you intend to live part time/full time there in later years ?

There is a big gap between the income of my husband and I. For the most part, this has yet to create a problem between us. My husband is the poster child for "penny pincher". Thus sometimes I have to gently remind him that we are indeed OK. On the other hand, it took him a while to understand that although we are not lacking for anything, that does not give him the freedom to send money home without consulting with me. We are making every effort to ensure that we can make it off of his income only (we are making plans to start a family) . So with that being said, since I'm the one that makes sure the bills are paid, I need to be able to rely on his check, without being told that he had planned to send money home. After a couple 'friendly' debates we are now on the same page. I do want to point out that my husband has absolutely no problem 'handing over the check'. I LOVE that about him.

For those of you waiting for your SO's EAD - keep him/her busy! I'm quite sure we all have projects around the house that needs to be completed. Or perhaps your SO can sign up for some type of course at the community college.

Boaz

[ForeverAmen 0]

I have been reading some of the posts here and got to wondering about the average difference between the incomes of the USC and their significant other. I have seen some that are sending money there , some sending money here , some scrambling for backup sponsors. I am not looking for exact numbers but rather a comparison . Are you middle income and he upper ? In my case he is quite poor and I am comfortable. Do you think this will be a problem or has it been between you ? If the non USC was upper income how did they adjust to living here ? How many of you intend to live part time/full time there in later years ?

One more thing - before we got married I sent my husband money twice. That was to help with the proof needed prior to his interview to show that we had/have an 'on going relationship'. But you better believe that as soon as his feet touched American soil I got my money back.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

I have been wondering about how everyone handles all this. My SO is the oldest son so he has a lot on his shoulders. There is a bit of an assumption that I must have pockets lined with money because I am in the US. They are kind of clueless about debt. He has always wanted to build a "western" house on his family land in the villiage and he owns a lot in the next town and wants a guest house to generate income. I have explained that if he really wants this kind of thing he will have to make the money for it. He seems to be very happy with that idea. A friend of mine also has an SO from Nigeria and he is upper middle class while she is just nicely off public aid. Although there is a big difference in architecture standards , she worries that he will feel let down by being in lower end housing.

[chispas 0]

Good question and much to ponder ahead of time. Good job for bringing this up. In my case, we have a "melange" of income levels going on. His family was part of the governmental machine, so they were used to having oodles of money. Then, Dad dies one day and the family has for a free-for all with the money and property.The properties were divided up and the immediate family lived off of the businesses.

Then mother dies, the dookie hits the fan as further money mayhem ensues. So then they are left with property and hardly any income as the lessee doesn’t pay rent often and the telephone cabins are robbed frequently.

Me, I lived very comfortable, went through a divorce and now I am a working stiff. Together, after spending much of my savings through the waiting process and other things, I am still a working stiff. However, I used much of my savings upfront and wished I had been more cautious. I think it is a good practice to not raise the financial bar so high that one can’t keep up with the standards set.

[Zee Bee 61]

Both our families would be considered upper class in Ghana, in the US more like upper middle class. For myself, I live quite comfortably.

My fiance has older and younger siblings so there is really no pressure on him to provide for his parents even though I know that he would want to. We have talked about the money issue, about him not being able to work for a little bit and such. Even though he says he is OK with sitting at home for a few months while the EAD is processing I have a plan: we are going to get the temp EAD from JFK and get married within a week and apply for AOS. I have been saving for it ever since we filed and in Novemner, by the grace of God, I had it

I am a pay as you go kind of person. Besides my plane tickets, I have not charged anything else to my credit card. And I have student loans. Besides that, I think my fiance and I are pretty much on the same level when it comes to money. Sometimes he thinks I spend too much on him but that's his problem

I know that he is not good at managing money so that is going to be my job when he comes over and we have talked about that too.

[ForeverAmen 0]

This is great! It makes me feel good when I read that people have already talked about finances prior to their SO arriving. Communication is key!

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

This has nothing to do with the post, but I wanted to make a comment on what Zainab mentioned. Getting through the unemployment period. I didn't read much about it while in this forum, except that everyone hated the waiting.... I had my husband fly to JFK so he could get the EAD. We waited to get married, because we wanted to marry on the date we were first introduced. After we married, my husband started working and loved his job. We filed for AOS, almost 3 weeks after getting married. We waited for a couple reasons, mainly money, also I was so sick of the whole long drawn out process it took to get him here, I was taking a break from paperwork & USCIS. My husband had to stop working because like always USCIS takes their time and part my fault for not sending the paperwork early enough. He got his EAD card a couple days ago and is lucky enough to be able to go back to the same job.

Some of you probably read other forums and see how the AOS process is, but then again there could be some of you that don't because you are so caught up in the first part of your journey(like me). What we wish we would have done differently to avoid some of the unemployment period. AOS is very expensive $1,010. First we would have been saving money way in advance so we could have it, come AOS time. We would have got married 1 week of his arrival, at the court house(which is what we did anyway, but we got married more then a month after his arrival), then would have had the paperwork ready to be sent off to USCIS for the AOS right away. If your SO flys to JFK and gets EAD and starts working, he will hate it so much if he has to stop working, like my husband did. Like we all know USCIS takes their time and it doesn't make sense at most times. If we would have done what I just wrote now, there would have been no break in my husbands employment.

I didn't intend for this to be so long and should have probably started my own post. Sorry for the interruption,

by the way my husband was to be considered poor in Ghana

Me the USC, not sure if you class me poor or middle class here. I own a house, make too much to get food stamps, but had to have a co sponsor for my husband because I don't make enough to support 4 of us, according to the guidelines. Who knows maybe I'm inbetween poor and middle.

Now that theres two of us working we'll have plenty, we give thanks to God.

Thank you for sharing that. Bassi will be coming in through JFK because I live in NY. It's good information to have to plan ahead. I'm struggling through AP right now and it's really hard to see the forest for the trees but I will try to begin planning.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

I have been reading some of the posts here and got to wondering about the average difference between the incomes of the USC and their significant other. I have seen some that are sending money there , some sending money here , some scrambling for backup sponsors. I am not looking for exact numbers but rather a comparison . Are you middle income and he upper ? In my case he is quite poor and I am comfortable. Do you think this will be a problem or has it been between you ? If the non USC was upper income how did they adjust to living here ? How many of you intend to live part time/full time there in later years ?

One more thing - before we got married I sent my husband money twice. That was to help with the proof needed prior to his interview to show that we had/have an 'on going relationship'. But you better believe that as soon as his feet touched American soil I got my money back.

Sending money to your SO is proof of an ongoing relationship? I didn't know that.

[Kanyiri 0]

My husband was dirt poor and I was a Peace Corps volunteer making a salary equivalent to a Ghanaian teacher. Both of us were poor. Now we're middle class.

[ForeverAmen 0]

I have been reading some of the posts here and got to wondering about the average difference between the incomes of the USC and their significant other. I have seen some that are sending money there , some sending money here , some scrambling for backup sponsors. I am not looking for exact numbers but rather a comparison . Are you middle income and he upper ? In my case he is quite poor and I am comfortable. Do you think this will be a problem or has it been between you ? If the non USC was upper income how did they adjust to living here ? How many of you intend to live part time/full time there in later years ?

One more thing - before we got married I sent my husband money twice. That was to help with the proof needed prior to his interview to show that we had/have an 'on going relationship'. But you better believe that as soon as his feet touched American soil I got my money back.

Sending money to your SO is proof of an ongoing relationship? I didn't know that.

In MY personal case, the receipts from Western Union were part of our paper trail. My husband and I had barely any emails between us. He was in Germany during most of our relationship, and it was very inexpensive for him to call me. In the long run, we had tons of calling cards as proof, but that was it. So in less than a month before his interview, I added international long distance to my cell phone (that way we had something in writing) as well as two Western Union transactions. At my husband's embassy calling cards were not accepted as proof of an ongoing relationship. Oh - by the way we also both quickly signed up for Pingo.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

I have been reading some of the posts here and got to wondering about the average difference between the incomes of the USC and their significant other. I have seen some that are sending money there , some sending money here , some scrambling for backup sponsors. I am not looking for exact numbers but rather a comparison . Are you middle income and he upper ? In my case he is quite poor and I am comfortable. Do you think this will be a problem or has it been between you ? If the non USC was upper income how did they adjust to living here ? How many of you intend to live part time/full time there in later years ?

One more thing - before we got married I sent my husband money twice. That was to help with the proof needed prior to his interview to show that we had/have an 'on going relationship'. But you better believe that as soon as his feet touched American soil I got my money back.

Sending money to your SO is proof of an ongoing relationship? I didn't know that.

In MY personal case, the receipts from Western Union were part of our paper trail. My husband and I had barely any emails between us. He was in Germany during most of our relationship, and it was very inexpensive for him to call me. In the long run, we had tons of calling cards as proof, but that was it. So in less than a month before his interview, I added international long distance to my cell phone (that way we had something in writing) as well as two Western Union transactions. At my husband's embassy calling cards were not accepted as proof of an ongoing relationship. Oh - by the way we also both quickly signed up for Pingo.

Ok, well I'm still in AP and I've pulled together pretty much everything just waiting. I have the I-134 and got everything notarized. I got a friend at work to notarize it and made three originals. It was hard to find someone with a seal because NY no longer requires a seal but immigration documents are supposed to have a seal. The bank sent me the letter after I told them to JUST DO IT. I have the letter from my employer and my tax transcripts for the past three years, not including 2007 obviously. I'll send the 1040 and w2 once I've filed. I have made copies of emails, IMs, our telephone record from uniontelecard (which is like pingo). I made copies at walmart of about 17 pictures. I felt like that was probably enough. I didn't know how many really to send. Ummm, should I send a couple of western union money transfers too? any advice on other proof of ongoing relationships would be great. I don't have copies of text messages, is there a way to do that? I use verizon wireless. I didn't include any letters or cards because Bassi's cousin told me he doesn't think it would be very useful if I didn't keep the envelope with the postal stamp. I didn't know and didn't really plan far enough ahead to think to keep envelopes when Bassi sent me things.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

I have been using the United Postal Services flat rate box. About once a month I cram it as full as I can with stuff. Usually things he has asked for and things I have spotted to send. Any extra room is filled with books and little toys for the childern there. Each also has one small stuffed animal ( a running joke with an older cousin ) Each time I send one I get a copy of the customs form. The box costs $37 to send and has been taking roughly a month to arrive. I firgure by the time we have to prove a continuing relationship there will be a whole string of these care packages.