to tell or not to tell ?

[Emancipation 2]

At this point she is on her own. I was considering telling her when she came to egypt

but now - she sounds hopeless. w ould she buy a brand new car for a canadian man she has never met? probably not so why this guy.

i am past thinking she is naive - now i think she is just retarded.

She doesn't sound stupid.. she just sounds lonely and "in love" and not thinking clearly.

I know I've been there before... was in a 3 year abusive marriage as a result.. There are probably tones of factors compounding the problem, including this guys' ability to sweet talk and sell her the universe.. She has no other information other than he's "the man of her dreams".. I'm sure her family in Canada is trying to tell her to calm down, but without the other side of the story.. she's got no balance (if she in fact is open to it)..

[Lona.C. 16]

I don't understand how this relates to the poster's question.

Sometimes I feel like I'm on drugs.

LMAO HEY IS TYLENOL CONSIDERT DRUGS .LOL

[surrender 0]

At this point she is on her own. I was considering telling her when she came to egypt

but now - she sounds hopeless. w ould she buy a brand new car for a canadian man she has never met? probably not so why this guy.

i am past thinking she is naive - now i think she is just retarded.

She doesn't sound stupid.. she just sounds lonely and "in love" and not thinking clearly.

I know I've been there before... was in a 3 year abusive marriage as a result.. There are probably tones of factors compounding the problem, including this guys' ability to sweet talk and sell her the universe.. She has no other information other than he's "the man of her dreams".. I'm sure her family in Canada is trying to tell her to calm down, but without the other side of the story.. she's got no balance (if she in fact is open to it)..

Perhaps you are right, I guess I shouldn't say naive or retarded but ignorant of how things work outside of her own country and her own isolated lonliness. Cripes get a pet, a dog would help with that I think, but truly at this point I don't think she would listen.

If her family is tellig her to calm down and she doesnt listen I doubt a complete stranger telling her would affect her.

besides, these men do sweet talk when they want something badly enough. I've heard of 22 year old boys telling 65 year old women that they are the most beautiful thing they've ever seen and then turning around and doing it to 10 others. I just hope he knows what he is doing, she could be unstable and get really pissed off when she figures out he is just using her. she could have him arrested or worse.

[Lona.C. 16]

At this point she is on her own. I was considering telling her when she came to egypt

but now - she sounds hopeless. w ould she buy a brand new car for a canadian man she has never met? probably not so why this guy.

i am past thinking she is naive - now i think she is just retarded.

She doesn't sound stupid.. she just sounds lonely and "in love" and not thinking clearly.

I know I've been there before... was in a 3 year abusive marriage as a result.. There are probably tones of factors compounding the problem, including this guys' ability to sweet talk and sell her the universe.. She has no other information other than he's "the man of her dreams".. I'm sure her family in Canada is trying to tell her to calm down, but without the other side of the story.. she's got no balance (if she in fact is open to it)..

Perhaps you are right, I guess I shouldn't say naive or retarded but ignorant of how things work outside of her own country and her own isolated lonliness. Cripes get a pet, a dog would help with that I think, but truly at this point I don't think she would listen.

If her family is tellig her to calm down and she doesnt listen I doubt a complete stranger telling her would affect her.

besides, these men do sweet talk when they want something badly enough. I've heard of 22 year old boys telling 65 year old women that they are the most beautiful thing they've ever seen and then turning around and doing it to 10 others. I just hope he knows what he is doing, she could be unstable and get really pissed off when she figures out he is just using her. she could have him arrested or worse.

you can only hope that she will snap out of her tran and realize what a jeark he realy is , if not since love can be blind and she finds out later and has him arrested , then you can finaly sing , " ANOTHERONE BITES THE DUST , OH YEAHHHH "

[trailmix 77]

Perhaps you are right, I guess I shouldn't say naive or retarded but ignorant of how things work outside of her own country and her own isolated lonliness. Cripes get a pet, a dog would help with that I think, but truly at this point I don't think she would listen.

If her family is tellig her to calm down and she doesnt listen I doubt a complete stranger telling her would affect her.

besides, these men do sweet talk when they want something badly enough. I've heard of 22 year old boys telling 65 year old women that they are the most beautiful thing they've ever seen and then turning around and doing it to 10 others. I just hope he knows what he is doing, she could be unstable and get really pissed off when she figures out he is just using her. she could have him arrested or worse.

It sounds to me like you are trying to justify not telling her? Hey, I'm not blaming you, it's a sticky situation you are in, not REALLY wanting to get involved but caring enough to want to try and help another human being from possibly being very hurt.

You might want to mention to him that when he does get to Canada, which could be a very long time, if they decide to apply with him outside of the country, he will probably be sitting waiting for that PR card for quite a while (based on the little we know of the relationship it sounds like it has red flags posted all over it). Even if they apply with him in Canada, he could be sitting around waiting for a few years, with nothing much to do!

Canada immigration can be just as tough as U.S. immigration and he might just end up in a review for several years, this poor woman will probably get to know him very well in that time.

Edited January 20, 2008 by trailmix

[surrender 0]

Perhaps you are right, I guess I shouldn't say naive or retarded but ignorant of how things work outside of her own country and her own isolated lonliness. Cripes get a pet, a dog would help with that I think, but truly at this point I don't think she would listen.

If her family is tellig her to calm down and she doesnt listen I doubt a complete stranger telling her would affect her.

besides, these men do sweet talk when they want something badly enough. I've heard of 22 year old boys telling 65 year old women that they are the most beautiful thing they've ever seen and then turning around and doing it to 10 others. I just hope he knows what he is doing, she could be unstable and get really pissed off when she figures out he is just using her. she could have him arrested or worse.

It sounds to me like you are trying to justify not telling her? Hey, I'm not blaming you, it's a sticky situation you are in, not REALLY wanting to get involved but caring enough to want to try and help another human being from possibly being very hurt.

You might want to mention to him that when he does get to Canada, which could be a very long time, if they decide to apply with him outside of the country, he will probably be sitting waiting for that PR card for quite a while (based on the little we know of the relationship it sounds like it has red flags posted all over it). Even if they apply with him in Canada, he could be sitting around waiting for a few years, with nothing much to do!

Canada immigration can be just as tough as U.S. immigration and he might just end up in a review for several years, this poor woman will probably get to know him very well in that time.

How easy is it for someone in Canada (without citizenship or residency) to travel to the states easily?

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

I just wanted to say...I'm really disappointed that you have chosen not to say anything to this woman.

Gosh, If I was as love sick as this woman obviously is, I would hope that if someone knew 100% that I was being taken for, that they would tell me.

I'd want to know, no matter how much it hurt.

She may not listen right away, she may be resistant and not believe it but at least it will plant the seed.

She may be doubting now, we don't know what is going on in her head and we also don't know what he is telling her to keep her around.

All she may need is that little extra "push" to see the light.

Sad situation.

[Emancipation 2]

How easy is it for someone in Canada (without citizenship or residency) to travel to the states easily?

The fact that you are asking that question in this particular thread is disturbing to me..

[trailmix 77]

How easy is it for someone in Canada (without citizenship or residency) to travel to the states easily?

Just as hard or easy as it would be from their native country. If they are in Canada without Citzenship or PR then they must follow the same procedures as they would if they were applying from their home, so for Egypt they would have to apply for whatever travel document they would normally apply for before visiting the U.S..

Canadians must show proof of Citizenship as well as a government issued photo I.D. for land crossings, as of January 31st.

[surrender 0]

How easy is it for someone in Canada (without citizenship or residency) to travel to the states easily?

The fact that you are asking that question in this particular thread is disturbing to me..

Why should it ? I am just curious. perhaps I can dissuade him from his plans by lettin ghim know it is not as easy as he migh think.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Why should it ? I am just curious. perhaps I can dissuade him from his plans by lettin ghim know it is not as easy as he migh think.

Perhaps you should outright tell him that what he is doing is completely wrong and horrible!!!

[trailmix 77]

How easy is it for someone in Canada (without citizenship or residency) to travel to the states easily?

The fact that you are asking that question in this particular thread is disturbing to me..

Why should it ? I am just curious. perhaps I can dissuade him from his plans by lettin ghim know it is not as easy as he migh think.

Yeah that's what I thought you were thinking - that he might be thinking of it as a ticket to the U.S. - or is that his plan, do you know?

[h_bomb 0]

i don't know if anyone's mentioned this yet, but i think the period for financial liability in canada for a spousal sponsor is 10 years, regardless of whether they stay married or not. this means that, even after a divorce, if this man decides to go on welfare or social assistance at anytime in this 10-year period, the woman must pay it all back. i'm guessing she may not listen to reason, but maybe you can dissuade her from actually marrying the guy and instead, bringing him to canada on a fiancé visa. i am not 100% sure, but the period of liability for that sponsorship may be shorter.

[trailmix 77]

i don't know if anyone's mentioned this yet, but i think the period for financial liability in canada for a spousal sponsor is 10 years, regardless of whether they stay married or not. this means that, even after a divorce, if this man decides to go on welfare or social assistance at anytime in this 10-year period, the woman must pay it all back. i'm guessing she may not listen to reason, but maybe you can dissuade her from actually marrying the guy and instead, bringing him to canada on a fiancé visa. i am not 100% sure, but the period of liability for that sponsorship may be shorter.

Actually it's 3 years of responsibility for the Spouse - after he or she becomes a permanent resident. There are no fiance(e) visas in Canada.

[rhymeswithcandi 0]

I would tell her. Like others have said, what she does with the information is up to her.

She'll be responsible for him if she marries him and he comes to Canada... she'll be responsible for him after he "takes off" on her and if I were her I'd want to know.

I think it's also interesting that his first application for a visa was denied - Immigration officers aren't stupid and I'm sure they know when something smells off.