Almost Ready to Give Up

[Ephesia 0]

clmarsh,

That was great info on your car, thanks so much! We'll keep looking around.

Driving lesson today ended up in hubby's car. I did pretty good around the parking lot, went up to 35 mph, even went up to 4th gear, and had no problems shifting down while making turns. The lesson ended badly, though, when we decided I'll try to get out of the parking lot and on to the street that takes us home. I was excited and even felt a bit confident to do it. Unfortunatley, I killed the car every single time I tried to start it in first gear. After about 12 attempts, I felt defeated. It was the same ol' 'balancing point' problem. I was devastated, and couldn't speak to my hubby after that. We had a mild quarrel (nothing serious at all!), but it was mostly because of my collapsed self-esteem. I felt like a failure because I couldn't get used to the stiffness of his car's clutch, and he wanted me to stop blaming his car. Ah well. If anything, driving lessons are good for our marriage.

What's that saying again? If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

[Chicky 0]

Well clmarsh I'm a little biased, most people are courteous, but I've almost always had to drive at least an hour to and from work and you see a lot of ###### when you drive long distances everyday!!! For the most part people dont do stuff like that, but at least everyday I see 2 or more drivers doing something idiotic. Just the other day two teenagers in their lowriders were bullying people in their cars, not letting anyone pass as the were driving side by side, one on the right one in the passing lane. Nothing you could do as they wouldn't let you pass. *sigh*

[ChristinaM 0]

Sadly, you get arseholes on the road everywhere - US or otherwise! I drive all over the state of Maine for my job, and I've lost count of the times people have tried to run me off the road - or, like you said, the "I'm invincible in my SUV" gang on the turnpike in the snow. I get a small glimmer of satisfaction when I see them off the road ten miles later, as cruel as that may make me.

Edited February 5, 2006 by clmarsh

[JayJay 4]

Hahhahhaha.....Stina.....hehehe...hehe.... Naw that doesn't make you evil, just totally honest

*grinz evilly*

[Chicky 0]

LMAO I feel the same way Christina I don't want them hurt, just to get the ###### scared out of them

[Jaylen Brit 0]

I've been following this thread with interst cos I have to learn to drive after I emigrate.

And quite frankly Im terrified.

I'm a pretty confident person most of the time, positive tho given to over-thinking things (typical female? ) but the thought of driving fills me wih dread.

I think I know why - its the fact that I can't control what the other drivers are going to do.

I took lessons when I was around 18 or so and I had no trouble with actually making the car move and using gears (that was just practice) but seeing other drivers 'coming AT me' (that's how it felt to me anyways, lol) used to make me so nervous that I'd end up at my destination with a severe headache and usually sweating like a maniac. I also had a problem with (as my instructor used to say) "hanging onto the steering wheel like it was a life-belt" - the old 'white-knuckle' hold.

I eventually gave up because I figured life was too short to keep putting myself thru the torture (and the headaches) and there were plenty of buses and trains easily available.

Now tho...

I HAVE to drive because we will be living out in the sticks more or less so unless I want to remain housebound, I have to learn - plus we have kids so it's kind of important I can drive just so I can get them places in emergencies.

On the plus side, roads in America are BIGGER and WIDER but on the minus side there are so many more vehicles...

HOW do I get over this fear?

Will it just go as I drive more?

I'm just worried it will make me freeze up and stop me learning entirely....

[CarolineM 0]

When I was growing up I was TERRIFIED of bridges. I would NOT drive over them. I mean, we'd pull over, someone else would get behind the wheel, drive over the bridge, and switch again. (In florida you have a learners at 15...and I think that's WAY early...)

ANYWAY I went to driver's ed and part of it was practical lessons in a car. My instructor made me roll down all my windows and drive over the BIGGEST bridge in Jacksonville - a huge suspension bridge. OMG I thought I was going to faint - but it worked. Cured my fear and now I am not a timid driver at all.

I don't know what my point is, I guess sometimes facing your fears can overcome them?

To all of you who are nervous about it! I know you can do it

[Jaylen Brit 0]

When I was learning back in the day I thought more driving would 'cure' me of the fear but it never really got much better - I kept getting the tension headaches and the nerves.. that's why i gave up..

Anyone got any 'get over your crippling fear' tips?

[Sharon 1]

Well we went for about a 2 hour drive around the countryside here yesterday. About half of it highway.

I'd told hubby that I wanted to practice merging and discovered something that I didn't realize...we'd have to drive as far as that DMV was on Friday, about 35 miles away just to be able to have me practice merging. Apparently there are no merging lanes around where we live at all. So I just practiced my driving, where I really didn't have any probs at all because I can drive now, I just can't merge....lol.

So we are going to that DMV next week again to practice and Rick said we won't leave until I get it down pat.....gulp. Well at least I'll get lunch outta the deal...if I live that long.

Wish me luck I'm gonna need it.

Thanks everyone for all your input and support. Don't know what I'd do without ya!

[MaryandMian 1]

Glad to hear you got some more driving in on Sunday. Keep at it and will be thinking of you.

[aussiewench 9]

When I was learning back in the day I thought more driving would 'cure' me of the fear but it never really got much better - I kept getting the tension headaches and the nerves.. that's why i gave up..

Anyone got any 'get over your crippling fear' tips?

Nope and I wont be driving in the US hahahaha

[MichelleandCraig 1]

awwwww good luck next week with the merging Sharon..we have faith in ya...I'm sure you'll get it!!! :) M.

[Ephesia 0]

Well we went for about a 2 hour drive around the countryside here yesterday. About half of it highway.

I'd told hubby that I wanted to practice merging and discovered something that I didn't realize...we'd have to drive as far as that DMV was on Friday, about 35 miles away just to be able to have me practice merging. Apparently there are no merging lanes around where we live at all. So I just practiced my driving, where I really didn't have any probs at all because I can drive now, I just can't merge....lol.

So we are going to that DMV next week again to practice and Rick said we won't leave until I get it down pat.....gulp. Well at least I'll get lunch outta the deal...if I live that long.

Wish me luck I'm gonna need it.

Thanks everyone for all your input and support. Don't know what I'd do without ya!

Yay Sharon! So happy you went back out driving! I'm rooting for ya!

We should set up a support group of some sort ...

[Ephesia 0]

On our way to our weekly dinner with his folks earlier this evening, I told my hubby that when we reach their subdivision, I want to drive in for practice's sake. When we got there, I told him, "Do or die, I'm gonna make sure I feel this balancing point and figure out exactly when to give the car more gas." I glanced down at my shoes before we started and then realized I had worn the 'wrong' shoes. They are the chunkiest pair with really thick soles, so I was a bit worried that I might have problems feeling the clutch right.

Anyway, I tried it.

AND I DAMN WELL FELT IT! For the first time in 3 weeks, I knew exactly where that balancing point was, and we both figured out the exact problem I had. I was letting go of the clutch too quickly after I hit that mysterious point while my other foot was on the gas pedal. He laughed when he noticed it and said, "Hon, I know it's great to feel that balancing point at last, but you don't let go immediately after that. You keep your foot on it and continue to let it up slowly as you give the car gas." A huge light went on in my head after that. And I mean HUGE.

I even had a chance to park in his folks' driveway ... but not without rolling on a part of the yard. I re-parked so that it looked like I succeeded the first time. But hubby sold me out the sec we went into the house. lol.

After dinner, I asked him if I could drive us out of the subdivision and he continue with the rest of the way home. He was all for it. His folks even stood at the front door to watch me back out and drive off (I suspect his mom was worried about the flowers in the garden, lol). But we continued on beyond the subdvision. He let me go out on the main street, and it was frightening at first. I went into 5th gear for the first time in my life. I also heard my hubby say for the first time, "Hon, you're speeding. Slow down." ROFL. But we swapped places at the nearest gas station because I didn't feel confident enough to take us all the way home, especially at night.

I can't wait to practice more.

[Sharon 1]

YAYYYYYYYYY Ephesia! You go, girl!

Sooooooo when are you gonna go for your license, huh?