Almost Ready to Give Up

[Ephesia 0]

Sharon, I admire you. You've already had 6 months of practice and have even hit the highway.

I got my learner's permit 2½ weeks ago and actually contemplated last night to screw it with this driving thing. My hubby drives a 2005 Chevy Cavalier. It's a sexy canary yellow 2-door car. But it's a manual. And the clutch is stiff. He has taken me to big empty parking lots four times now, and I still cannot find that 'balancing point' between the gas and clutch to get the car moving. I have not managed to get the car started smoothly. I either kill the car or jerk forward.

On top of watching what it's in front of me as I chug around the parking lot at a whopping 15 mph, I also have to pay attention to my feet and figure out when to change gears. Last Sat I moved to 3rd gear for the first time. But not after accidentally shifting to 5th gear twice and then hearing that godawful grinding sound before the car died.

Before starting up the car again, I had to get a feel of the stick several times so I knew where exactly 3rd gear was without having to look. Turned the ignition key, killed the car twice because of that sickening 'balancing point', then managed to jerk the car forward on my 3rd attempt to get the car moving. No problems with changing to 2nd gear, and then 3rd. Now I'm doing a record 20 mph and absolutely terrified. Then hubby says, "Drop back to 2nd as you turn around the parking lot so you know what's involved in changing gears while making turns." I turned, got my foot off the gas, dropped to 2nd ... and then jammed the brakes because I panicked inexplicably.

Tuesday evenings and Saturday afternoons are my driving lesson days with the hubby. This morning I woke up with a feeling of dread, because I really don't want to go through the same old kill-the-car-then-jerk-forward startup routine just to roll around a parking lot at 15 mph, and then head home feeling as if I didn't accomplish a single damn thing. And oh, I am also tired of apologizing to hubby for killing his car the nth time, even though he has been nothing but a patron saint of patience and has been extremely encouraging.

I know driving takes a lot of practice, especially for someone who has never had to learn to drive because of a supremely efficient public transportation system back home. The past few days I have oscillated between hating my hubby's canary yellow 2-door manual car (why didn't he buy an automatic?!) and kicking myself in the butt for not forking out money to learn how to drive back home.

Two days ago, hubby still over-confidently believes I will get the hang of it and get my license in two months' time. I told him my goal is Christmas and it will stay that way if I have to stick with learning in a manual.

I poured out my sorrows to our room mate a few nights ago. Bless his heart - he said he'll take me out in his ol' beat-up truck on Mon because the clutch is a lot smoother and I'll have an easier time getting a vehicle started.

I really admire your guts, Sharon. If it will help any, I'll ask the hubby to take a short video of how I kill his car with absolute grace and certainty every time we are in that damn parking lot, and I'll happily share the video with you so you'll be convinced of how awesome you are doing.

[Cdnwmn 0]

Did you ever look into driving classes? That might be a good idea to help you learn and get over your fear. I took drivers education in high school when I was 16. They really helped me to learn how to drive.

Just have to have some faith in yourself that you can do it

Keep giving it your best

I second this suggestion.

[Ephesia 0]

I bemoan the lack of "L" plates in the US, I think they'd go a long way. Maybe you and Rick should make a sign to put in the back window which says "Learner Driver, please drive courteously".

I miss L plates too. I think I might make one for the day I feel brave or ready enough to upgrade from empty parking lots to actual streets.

[ChristinaM 0]

It's actually easier on real streets, believe it or not. When I first started driving here (ok, I'd driven before, but still) my hubby took me out on Route 1 and we just drove. And drove, and drove.... My father did the same thing in the UK when I started to drive for the first time - we lived near a military base and the roads were long, straight and wide.

Ephesia, maybe it's worth you picking up a knackered old banger that's an auto to get the hang of driving around, and then moving to a manual later on. Or not, as you decide. Plenty of Americans only ever drive an auto - they have no idea what the clutch is for or how to make a manual car go forward!

[RaspberrySwirl 20]

I bemoan the lack of "L" plates in the US, I think they'd go a long way. Maybe you and Rick should make a sign to put in the back window which says "Learner Driver, please drive courteously".

I miss L plates too. I think I might make one for the day I feel brave or ready enough to upgrade from empty parking lots to actual streets.

Uh I third that. Or somethin'. That little blue L plate made me feel alot better while learning to drive in cities.

I wish I had some advice for ya, Sharon but I'm scared sh!tless myself hehe. Although I have to agree with some posters above who suggested an instructor. I felt so much more confident knowing that the instructor could take over the pedals in case he needed to, but he never did. It sucked learning to drive with either of my parents, especially my dad who'd just punch me in the arm when I did something wrong.

Ephesia, maybe it's worth you picking up a knackered old banger that's an auto to get the hang of driving around, and then moving to a manual later on. Or not, as you decide. Plenty of Americans only ever drive an auto - they have no idea what the clutch is for or how to make a manual car go forward!

I'm actually looking forward to learning to drive (again, since it's been about 3 years since I last drove) with an auto. It seems soooooo much easier to not have to focus on what gear your in or switching gears.

I'm actually looking forward to learning to drive (again, since it's been about 3 years since I last drove) with an auto. It seems soooooo much easier to not have to focus on what gear your in or switching gears.

Uh, your should be you're. OMG, I can't believe I did that.

[almaty 19]

sharon..you go.....this summer i teach sanita...she has never drove..i need allot of patience...

[Kajikit 65]

Practice, practice and practice some more... if my brother could eventually get up the nerve to get a drivers licence, anybody can! (well, I couldn't but that was a combination of circumstances and my severe anxiety...) I could DRIVE forever and a day but I couldn't pass a driving test to save my life!

I never noticed that they don't have L plates in the US! That's surprising and a little scary...

[Peggy 1]

I always say. Dont let someone in your family teach you how to drive. Especially if they have been driving forever. They just dont have the patience My dad took me out once, and that was it for me. Never again did I ask him.

[babybunny 2]

hahhahahahaa..

driving is easy. the car drives itself. what the problem?

no one wont hit you. people are afraid of high insurance rates.

relax and you will be fine. dont panic - nothing wont hit you.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

hahhahahahaa..

driving is easy. the car drives itself.

Damn, that's awful advice, shon.

Sharon,

You sound exactly like my wife. I don't have any advice to offer though, since I'm at a loss with her as well.

Hopefully, it will come with time and practice.

:energetic:

That little blue L plate made me feel alot better while learning to drive in cities.

Here you can put up a sign on the back of your car saying "Student driver".

New Jersey drivers get even MORE aggressive and assholish when they see that. I think they like to haze you

[poppy33usa 0]

My heart goes out to you Sharon. I got lucky, our driving exam route is just a 10 min round the block type thing..it went no where near highways...if it had I would still be trying to get my license!! I passed my test 6 months ago and still havent been on the highway..mainly because I have had no need to but also because Im scared too..in saying that I have just applied for a job thats in the city, and if I get it I will have no choice but to use the higway to get there..Your driving exam route sounds like a nightmare..its a pity there wasnt another driving center you could go to that didnt use the highway as part of the exam - but you sound like you are pretty much out in the boonies so to speak As everyone else has been saying, dont give up!..My husband has been driving for years so doesnt really understand quite how scary highway driving can be..All I can say is dont put pressure on yourself to pass by a certain date - I know it helps some to have a goal in mind but I think this can cause undue pressure...keep practising and go for the test when you feel comfortable..you will never be completely comfortable, that only comes with years of driving ...but you will get there trust me..good luck to you

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

2 things when merging

1. get up to the speed of traffic. It's very scary when traffic is going 55 and you're going 25. And DON'T STOP while merging (unless the traffic is stopped) you WILL cause an accident

2. when merging just don't rely on mirrors. look over your left shoulder. I still do this and have been driving for 20 years.

[chocolaterie 0]

you WILL get it. believe me i still don't know how i'm able to drive. the route you're afraid to do... KEEP DOING IT. and people will slow down for you to merge. There have been many times where i've left my turn signal on for a full 60 secs, and then I take a deep breath and force my way in. (Gotta love the, if you rear end me it's your fault rule). Of course I don't recommend this tactic.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

you WILL get it. believe me i still don't know how i'm able to drive. the route you're afraid to do... KEEP DOING IT. and people will slow down for you to merge. There have been many times where i've left my turn signal on for a full 60 secs, and then I take a deep breath and force my way in. (Gotta love the, if you rear end me it's your fault rule). Of course I don't recommend this tactic.

Sad. Get up to the speed of traffic not make the traffic slow down. It's somehow OK if someone hits you from behind and it's "Not my fault" and it is actually 100% your fault.

[Chicky 0]

LOL I love making people have to slow down when merging

Even if someone is there I start to move on in, once it looks like I'm going to sideswipe them they slow down or move to the other lane Believe me, they'll move