Question about Relocating & CDN perspective

[Emancipation 2]

Well my friends, we are starting to talk about moving further "south" to be closer to my husband's children. Currently we are in Connecticut and I have enjoyed the North East for almost the past year now. I enjoy that there are 4 distinct seasons, that we are only a 8 hr drive to my Best friends house - and only 12 to my family's place on PEI, and that there are a lot of people here that "think" like I do.

*sigh.. so here's the issue - I lived in South Carolina a while back and really hated it. I am NOT at all high maintenance, and always felt the pressure to be "the southern belle", and was told on many occasions what a freak I was for not getting my nails done, and dressing a certain way etc. I felt TOTALLY out of place there, and one of the final straws on the camels back was when I was told as a youth pastor that I couldn't invite a black child to our youth group cause "they have their own black churches to go to". I saw racism on both sides in the communities near where we lived near Myrtle Beach and was TOTALLY appalled at the issues that I saw around me.

So I'm apprehensive about moving further south.. now don't get me wrong, I feel out of place here as well, as many of the people I encounter have MUCH more education and career drive than I but at least the social expectations are normal to us.

Our choices, and on the table are the following: Atlanta, Louisiana and South Carolina. Of course SC is on the LAST of the list.. and I have visited Atlanta a few times now and enjoy the feel of the city and think (except for the whole lack of winter thing) believe I could somewhat fit in there. I've never been to Louisiana.. but my gut tells me it would be too "different".. I dunno.. perhaps I'm just displaying as much prejudice as I'm accusing others of

What is everyone's perspective?? For those of you who are in the South - how do you find it? Have you found a way to fit in? What are your coping skills learned? Did you find it a hard transition? I keep thinking - well i was almost 10 years younger when i lived in SC.. perhaps I have more coping skills now and could really handle the whole issues that I faced better now.. Plus I actually have a SUPPORTIVE husband this time round not the abusive one I had before..

I dunno.. just stuff going trough my brain.. Hubby keeps saying the last thing he wants to do is drag me to a part of the Country that I will be unhappy at.. He understands my concerns.. but I also want to be where his kids are.. it's the best thing for everyone..

[trailmix 77]

Lots of things to ponder.

Originally we didn't want to move any further south than Nth Carolina - now we are thinking Florida. I hope there is a lot of tolerance there for other races, seeing as there is such a large immigrant population (just because I loathe racism).

Your youth group experience would have made me furious. Here is the thing, if people who accept all people never move anywhere where predjudice exists, then how will it ever change. Just a thought.

I don't think my post is helpful but since I already typed it out i'll post it

Edited January 3, 2008 by trailmix

[Emancipation 2]

  trailmix said:

Lots of things to ponder.

Originally we didn't want to move any further south than Nth Carolina - now we are thinking Florida. I hope there is a lot of tolerance there for other races, seeing as there is such a large immigrant population (just because I loathe racism).

Your youth group experience would have made me furious. Here is the thing, if people who accept all people never move anywhere where predjudice exists, then how will it ever change. Just a thought.

I don't think my post is helpful but since I already typed it out i'll post it

Florida is a place I would consider as well.. Perhaps it's just cause of the influx of CDNS there in the winter tee hee.. but I hear what you are saying as well.. And that's about where I draw the line as well.. at Virgina/NC border.. I also keep saying to myself this is not forever.. this is for right now..

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I am here about 20 miles south of Atlanta. I know what you mean about the "Southern Belle' thing, and I am one of the odd women out. I don't wear make-up; I don't have my nails done; I am not dressed to the nines. Fortunately, I have found people don't judge me for my appearance but for who I am, more or less. Those few who are so superficial that those elements are so important are generally not people with whom I associate.

Atlanta itself is a very cosmopolitan and culturally/ethnically diverse city. Depending on what part of the City you move to you may or may not encounter distressing behaviour. Generally, some of the more easy going parts of the City are in the Roswell/ Sandy Springs area, so you may find looking for a home there more likely to be satisfying. Where we are south of the City in Henry County/Stockbridge area is growing very fast but there are still houses here that are very affordable. Our 'suburb' type community is quite culturally diverse - and there are nice houses available for sale here too:-).

One of the problems no matter where you live will be traffic, so if you are able to find something near the MARTA lines you can get to and from the City without much difficulty.

I have noticed some racial discrimination - more from the older people than from the younger ones, but have generally found that people respond to me the way I react to them, so if I am friendly, they are friendly. I've struck up some interesting conversations while waiting in lines at grocery stores with some very friendly blacks who don't seem to make me feel that they are black and I am white - that we are just people. I understand that in rural Georgia, however, discrimination is a lot more obvious.

I can't speak much about the churches since I am not Christian, however, there seems to be churches on every street corner - in fact, there are probably as many churches around here as there are donut shops in Canadian cities! - everything from the strip mall storefront to some of the big megachurches. I see blacks and whites in the congregations when they are arriving and leaving, but that might just be the ones around our neighbourhood.

The weather will certainly be different, although today we are experiencing what would be a normal winter day in Southwestern Ontario and the North Georgia mountains got snow. The one thing I noticed about the summer heat and humidity is that the temperature more often than not does drop overnight and it is not uncommon to have 30 degrees difference between the day's high and the night's low. There are a few weeks of horrid humidity, but a lot more weeks of absolutely wonderful weather. Springs and Falls here are out of this world and if you really need snow in Winter, it isn't too far away north of the city in the mountains.

Personally, I really like it here:-).

[bradcanuck 1]

I've looked into every state, every major city and for a lot of reasons. Business startup potential, Police Depts (for me to apply to) as well as schools for kids, my wife and housing.

The best place I found that sort of fit my bill was "Woodstock, GA". Housing is great, schools are decent and it's very mixed racially. Sure you'll get the odd racist shizhead but you get that everywhere.

The other area is the DFW area in TX. I love the idea of Texas but who knows living there.

I am from a beach city on Vancouver Island so I moved to southern California. It's taken a ton of adjusting - the people are about as friendly and as inviting as rocks and there are a lot of differences. I think we all think the grass is greener on the other side sometimes. And then sometimes home is where the heart is (interpret that as you will). Anywhoo this is a half rant so I'll stop now.

[KarenCee 3]

  Kathryn41 said:

I am here about 20 miles south of Atlanta. I know what you mean about the "Southern Belle' thing, and I am one of the odd women out. I don't wear make-up; I don't have my nails done; I am not dressed to the nines. Fortunately, I have found people don't judge me for my appearance but for who I am, more or less. Those few who are so superficial that those elements are so important are generally not people with whom I associate.

Atlanta itself is a very cosmopolitan and culturally/ethnically diverse city. Depending on what part of the City you move to you may or may not encounter distressing behaviour. Generally, some of the more easy going parts of the City are in the Roswell/ Sandy Springs area, so you may find looking for a home there more likely to be satisfying. Where we are south of the City in Henry County/Stockbridge area is growing very fast but there are still houses here that are very affordable. Our 'suburb' type community is quite culturally diverse - and there are nice houses available for sale here too:-).

One of the problems no matter where you live will be traffic, so if you are able to find something near the MARTA lines you can get to and from the City without much difficulty.

I have noticed some racial discrimination - more from the older people than from the younger ones, but have generally found that people respond to me the way I react to them, so if I am friendly, they are friendly. I've struck up some interesting conversations while waiting in lines at grocery stores with some very friendly blacks who don't seem to make me feel that they are black and I am white - that we are just people. I understand that in rural Georgia, however, discrimination is a lot more obvious.

I can't speak much about the churches since I am not Christian, however, there seems to be churches on every street corner - in fact, there are probably as many churches around here as there are donut shops in Canadian cities! - everything from the strip mall storefront to some of the big megachurches. I see blacks and whites in the congregations when they are arriving and leaving, but that might just be the ones around our neighbourhood.

The weather will certainly be different, although today we are experiencing what would be a normal winter day in Southwestern Ontario and the North Georgia mountains got snow. The one thing I noticed about the summer heat and humidity is that the temperature more often than not does drop overnight and it is not uncommon to have 30 degrees difference between the day's high and the night's low. There are a few weeks of horrid humidity, but a lot more weeks of absolutely wonderful weather. Springs and Falls here are out of this world and if you really need snow in Winter, it isn't too far away north of the city in the mountains.

Personally, I really like it here:-).

Yeah, I pretty much agree with Kathryn's assessment of Georgia as a whole even though her area is different than mine. Let me tell you about where we live.

Joel and I live about 2 hours northeast of Kathryn41, in the Northeat Georgia Mountains. We like where we're at...very very little racism. Churches on EVERY street, road, neighbourhood, city corner, etc. Mostly Baptist though. I am NOT a southern belle either...I am overweight (gasp!) I don't wear the latest fashions, nor do I have my hair and nails done. I wear makeup to work, but very little. I don't go to the country club (can't afford it...USCIS got all my money ) nor would I want to. I don't shop at the mall (ICK!) and I certainly don't drive a car that rivals my neighbours. In other words...I'm normal. At least I like to think so.

On the positive note, it's quiet here. Crime is low, and there are lots of things to do up here that cost little to nothing. The schools are good and I'm very ticky about that since our daughter is a special needs child (LD and Epilepsy). The workforce isn't that great in the immediate area so one would have to probably commute unless one is hired by one of the two major idustries here...school and government. The closest big city is 30 minutes away and Atlanta is 1.5 to 2 hrs away. I love it! But then I love small town living. I don't mind my 20 minute commute and my husband has the same commute. My neighbours are quiet and don't bother anyone and I even have the occasional "moo" from the pasture that adjoins my backyard. No smell either. Very little snow (even in the mountains!) and yes it does get cold, but it's not unbearable. We did have snow today, but not enough to make a snowman. *sigh*

Yep, small town life is for me.

Good luck with wherever you decide to live. It's no small thing to make such a decision and I wish you all the best.

Edited January 3, 2008 by KarenCee

[Krikit 1,165]

You'll find pockets of racism in many places in the US, but it's certainly not prevalent. It's more focused in certain areas/States (Missouri, Alabama). I'm not saying it's non-existent in other areas..... just isolated. Atlanta and Florida are awesome places to live. Louisiana is interesting to visit but it's not for me. My in-laws have a vacation place on Myrtle Beach but I don't much like it there either.... too busy and commercialized. That's really the only experience I have with SC. NC is where my husband and in-laws are from and it seems to be kind of nice too. I'm in agreement with Karen and Kathryn on their appraisals of the areas in Georgia. I wouldn't worry too much about the Southern Belle types. People tend to gravitate to those they feel comfortable with so it's not as if you would choose to associate only with them anyway.

One thing I have found to be important is proximity to an international airport. It's far less costly to take advantage of special air travel offers than to drive home to visit. I've paid as little as $39 one way Orlando to Buffalo and back. If you live too far from an airport it will drive the cost up substantially.

Good luck and have fun deciding, Michelle!

[trailmix 77]

All the cool people go to Florida

[Reba 2]

I live in small town Western North Carolina, and racism is alive and well and thriving unfortunately. So is classism. And just about any other -ism you can imagine. Also, the economy in North Carolina is in the tank. And sinking. Especially small towns, but I don't think there's many jobs in the "Big Cities" either. (coming from Toronto as I do though, there's no Big City anywhere in the entire state they're all less than 1 mil in population).

[Emancipation 2]

Thanks guys for your thoughts and words..

We would be looking at the Roswell area of Atlanta.. so it's comforting to know it's one of the places you would recommend Katheryn!!

Sigh.. I watched wife swap last night and it was about 2 families - one a "beauty pagent" family and the other a "independent free thinking" family who taught their girls to think for themselves and not worry about the "outsides".. It scared the bejeebers outta me!

Ah well.. I know that I will have hubby and I know how he feels about many of the issues that I've said above.. He does love the south but for other reason including the friendliness of the people, the pace of life and the food (of course).. and I need to focus on those things.. traffic, the self serving/ isolating attitudes (generalization) and the LACK of good food here in the North!! lol..

[Krikit 1,165]

  Emancipation said:

Sigh.. I watched wife swap last night and it was about 2 families - one a "beauty pagent" family and the other a "independent free thinking" family who taught their girls to think for themselves and not worry about the "outsides".. It scared the bejeebers outta me!

I watched Wife Swap last night too! Wow. Just.... wow. Kudos to the feminist for keeping her cool with the crazy people though. All through it I kept wondering what the teachers and principal were going to do when they found out that the Mom had been doing all the daughter's homework. That kid is in for a rude awakening one day. Those "parents" are certainly not doing her any favours. I'd love to see a follow-up in a few years time. I almost feel sorry for them because they are totally unprepared for the karma that's headed their way.

[Emancipation 2]

  Krikit said:

  Emancipation said:

Sigh.. I watched wife swap last night and it was about 2 families - one a "beauty pagent" family and the other a "independent free thinking" family who taught their girls to think for themselves and not worry about the "outsides".. It scared the bejeebers outta me!

I watched Wife Swap last night too! Wow. Just.... wow. Kudos to the feminist for keeping her cool with the crazy people though. All through it I kept wondering what the teachers and principal were going to do when they found out that the Mom had been doing all the daughter's homework. That kid is in for a rude awakening one day. Those "parents" are certainly not doing her any favours. I'd love to see a follow-up in a few years time. I almost feel sorry for them because they are totally unprepared for the karma that's headed their way.

I was totally shocked the show kept referring to her as a "feminist".. i didn't see them burning bras and picketing in the street.. the wife was just saying a woman should be taught to do for herself.. that bit confused me.. just cause they homeschool and the girls aren't really encouraged to "be into their physical image".. doesn't mean they are feminists? I don't understand why it was protrayed that way..

Yep I felt terribly sorry for the "Paris" wanna be.. she is truly going to end up in a messy 20 something situation for sure!

Edited January 3, 2008 by Emancipation

[Krikit 1,165]

  Emancipation said:

I was totally shocked the show kept referring to her as a "feminist".. i didn't see them burning bras and picketing in the street.. the wife was just saying a woman should be taught to do for herself.. that bit confused me.. just cause they homeschool and the girls aren't really encouraged to "be into their physical image".. doesn't mean they are feminists? I don't understand why it was protrayed that way..

Yeah, that had me a bit confused too. I guess the men producing that show are late developers. Or really really old.

[trailmix 77]

  Emancipation said:

I was totally shocked the show kept referring to her as a "feminist".. i didn't see them burning bras and picketing in the street.. the wife was just saying a woman should be taught to do for herself.. that bit confused me.. just cause they homeschool and the girls aren't really encouraged to "be into their physical image".. doesn't mean they are feminists? I don't understand why it was protrayed that way..

Yep I felt terribly sorry for the "Paris" wanna be.. she is truly going to end up in a messy 20 something situation for sure!

I watched too. I think these parents don't understand that when you push any agenda too far you aren't doing your child any favors.

It's interesting how different people define feminism. I think the bra burning, picketing feminism is long gone - I don't think people think it is necessary anymore (maybe it is! - when is the last time you saw a sit-in?).

I define it as women having equal rights and choice.

[Emancipation 2]

  trailmix said:

  Emancipation said:

I was totally shocked the show kept referring to her as a "feminist".. i didn't see them burning bras and picketing in the street.. the wife was just saying a woman should be taught to do for herself.. that bit confused me.. just cause they homeschool and the girls aren't really encouraged to "be into their physical image".. doesn't mean they are feminists? I don't understand why it was protrayed that way..

Yep I felt terribly sorry for the "Paris" wanna be.. she is truly going to end up in a messy 20 something situation for sure!

I watched too. I think these parents don't understand that when you push any agenda too far you aren't doing your child any favors.

It's interesting how different people define feminism. I think the bra burning, picketing feminism is long gone - I don't think people think it is necessary anymore (maybe it is! - when is the last time you saw a sit-in?).

I define it as women having equal rights and choice.

Well i wouldn't classify myself as a feminist - but I would be all for equal rights and choice.. as much as the next gal! I think what I was referring to was more of a political / militant agenda feminism.. I didn't see any of that in last nights show.. the father did say for the girl not to throw like a guy.. which I thought he was being just silly more than actually trying to say something "political"..

Perhaps the father in the show last night really does think if a woman thinks for herself she is a feminist.. i surely hope not!

UGH