Good questions to end the year

[SpiritAlight 1]

Well the last night of this Christian calendar.

Yippee....happy it's about to be over.

May next year be just as full of adventures, but more interesting than a silly K1 process (bleh).

My cold has wiped most of my energy, but the sake is helping. Ha!

Good luck and best wishes to you and your peops.

Here goes...

Living in the moment, this is what has come up, yet again:

I have a close male friend in Indiana and we talk about this often.

It seems that when you have one man and one woman, there is a problem.

The dynamics of what might happen; what could happen....

Well I call bull-ahem!

Men and woman can be friends if their minds are open.

They need to realize that there need not be what society deems the inevitable.

So many misunderstandings.

If one person has any issues that are not resolved, or filters they are looking through and can not see clearly before them simply a human being, a person, and they see a potential conquest, well, then, hence the problem.

I have many male friends.

And in the sailing and karate world, being that there are more men then women, from time to time these issues come up.

Most people do not handle them graciously.

I am hear to declare:

We are all people.

And we can be friends.

It's not about sex!

:star:

My friend got into "trouble" just talking with a woman at the bar.

After what seemed to him to be a perfectly well adjusted conversation, she turned and asked him what he was after.

He was baffled and she told him off and left. (It's a little more complex than this, but you get my drift.)

Hey, I get that all the time.

Be friendly towards guys, and they think they own you.

When another man shows up, the first one puffs out his chest...peacock. Ha!

That is why I either don't go out anymore or wear a paper bag over my head when I do.

So

as always

I am curious.

Where do you all stand on such matters?

(Have fun with it.)

In your opinion can men and women be platonic friends?

Do you have a close friend of the opposite sex?

If you believe truly that no one owns anyone, and some one can be friendly without an agenda, then why???

(It's the sake. I'm using it for medicinal purposes....blasted cold I am suffering through.)

[Modano 0]

SpiritsAlight, I know exactly what you are talking about. My best friend is a guy and people get all up in arms about the fact that I like to hang out with guys more then girls. I don't know why. We just seem to have more in common.

I am sure if our hearts were into it there could be more, but we just don't see each other that way. I point out girls to him all the time that I think he should talk to and he thinks it's great that he has a woman as his "wing person".

There has been talk though between some of our other mutual friends as to what goes on between us. It's freaking stupid that we have to defend our friendship to people who think that men and women can't be friends. We love each other to death, but that doesn't mean we want to sleep with each other. IT IS POSSIBLE TO JUST BE FRIENDS!

Just my two cents.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Well the last night of this Christian calendar.

Yippee....happy it's about to be over.

May next year be just as full of adventures, but more interesting than a silly K1 process (bleh).

My cold has wiped most of my energy, but the sake is helping. Ha!

Good luck and best wishes to you and your peops.

Here goes...

Living in the moment, this is what has come up, yet again:

I have a close male friend in Indiana and we talk about this often.

It seems that when you have one man and one woman, there is a problem.

The dynamics of what might happen; what could happen....

Well I call bull-ahem!

Men and woman can be friends if their minds are open.

They need to realize that there need not be what society deems the inevitable.

So many misunderstandings.

If one person has any issues that are not resolved, or filters they are looking through and can not see clearly before them simply a human being, a person, and they see a potential conquest, well, then, hence the problem.

I have many male friends.

And in the sailing and karate world, being that there are more men then women, from time to time these issues come up.

Most people do not handle them graciously.

I am hear to declare:

We are all people.

And we can be friends.

It's not about sex!

My friend got into "trouble" just talking with a woman at the bar.

After what seemed to him to be a perfectly well adjusted conversation, she turned and asked him what he was after.

He was baffled and she told him off and left. (It's a little more complex than this, but you get my drift.)

Hey, I get that all the time.

Be friendly towards guys, and they think they own you.

When another man shows up, the first one puffs out his chest...peacock. Ha!

That is why I either don't go out anymore or wear a paper bag over my head when I do.

So

as always

I am curious.

Where do you all stand on such matters?

(Have fun with it.)

In your opinion can men and women be platonic friends?

Do you have a close friend of the opposite sex?

If you believe truly that no one owns anyone, and some one can be friendly without an agenda, then why???

(It's the sake. I'm using it for medicinal purposes....blasted cold I am suffering through.)

Sorry about your cold. I've been fighting a cold and fatigue for the last few weeks. Men and women can be platonic friends. I don't really have any friends. I am a rather solitary individual and aside from the nice people here I don't talk to many people these days.

Here's something that's been driving me crazy: CLEAVAGE. As a man am I supposed to look, or not look, I'm confused. Being shy, I tend to avoid eye contact, unless I'm trying to intimidate. When I eyeball people, I usually get the frightened, "are you made at me?" questions. In sports I was always taught to look for the belt since the ball carrier/puck carrier can only be where his belt is. If I try not to slump, I worry that people will think I'm trying to puff my chest out like an egomaniac peacock (Spirit I've run into these types and most guys I know don't like them either) or those arrogant SOBs that act like they're above everyone. With regards to cleavage, a female friend once told me, "if they didn't want you to look, why put it out there?" I don't know if I'm comfortable with that, after all I'm not a perv and I don't think anyone enjoys being treated like a piece of meat. Back in the day, I'd get the arm pinch, the follow (why are these strange smiling women following me and staring at my backside, did I split my pants?), and a few others. The worst one was when a female would grab/knead my shoulder or my back and state, "you're so big and hard." That happened a few times and I always wondered if one of my friends put them up to it. I'm not good-looking (just look at my avatar) and nobody in their right mind would make such a statement, right?

Edited January 1, 2008 by IR5FORMUMSIE

[trailmix 77]

I have a male friend - we talk sometimes and less often since he started living with someone.

I am calling 'human nature'.

I think there is no blanket answer on this one - each individual has their own agenda, feelings, motives, so it's an individual thing.

So yes, men and women can be platonic friends in general. Many men and women are out there to hook up - hence the human nature element - it's normal, it's natural and no big deal

[Jenn! 918]

My friend got into "trouble" just talking with a woman at the bar.

After what seemed to him to be a perfectly well adjusted conversation, she turned and asked him what he was after.

He was baffled and she told him off and left. (It's a little more complex than this, but you get my drift.)

Women are constantly being told that if a man is nice to you, he wants to get in your pants. I think that's rubbish, IMO to think that way is pretty conceited. When Harry Met Sally anyone?

[Carlawarla 1]

I have many male friends. To tell you the truth, only a few are not gay. I've had friendships in the past that were sabotaged by either the male friend who disclosed his sexual attraction to me, AFTER we were friends, or a girlfriend being suspicious of our friendship. In this case rather than this male friend of mine telling her there was nothing to this, and sticking to his guns....he literally broke off our friendship to appease her. I guess he wasn't the good friend I thought he was.

Males and females can be close and intimate friends without sexual contact and it's done everyday. I think people who can achieve this, have the best of both worlds!

Carla