The Healing Power of Forgiveness

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Wow...what a friend.

[Fandango 1,440]

Wow...what a friend.

As bad as she was, that's how good she was in other aspects. I know that sounds crazy, but if there was nothing to compare to, be jealous of, etc...she was an awesome friend.

But the bad finally outweighed the good.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Wow...what a friend.

As bad as she was, that's how good she was in other aspects. I know that sounds crazy, but if there was nothing to compare to, be jealous of, etc...she was an awesome friend.

But the bad finally outweighed the good.

That's too bad for her. Maybe someday she'll realize that.

[Fandango 1,440]

Wow...what a friend.

As bad as she was, that's how good she was in other aspects. I know that sounds crazy, but if there was nothing to compare to, be jealous of, etc...she was an awesome friend.

But the bad finally outweighed the good.

That's too bad for her. Maybe someday she'll realize that.

Eh, who knows! But my forehead no longer says 'sucker'!

I will share a good story of forgiveness. The old man who hit me head on. He was driving on the left side of the road and came around a curved underpass and just nailed me. Most of the old timers here know how bad I was hurt, Lord knows I mention it enough. But I was REALLY hurt. I had so many broken bones I couldn't walk...chemical burns on my arms, I was in a wheelchair for a while, etc. I was in constant horrendous pain for 5 mos and my life was literally destroyed. I gained 100 pounds in a year, then eventually my waist length thick as hell hair was shaved off & I was bald after a 9 hour surgery. I was bed ridden for like 5 mos, and almost a million dollars in debt.

The 86 year old guy would power walk past my house, and I'd feel such a hatred of him. I'd feel bile rising up in my body at the thought of him. He lived near my family, so I'd pass his house all the time. I'd stare at him or his house with a look of contempt and pure unadulterated hatred. He never apologized...he never acknowledged me. At the scene of the accident, he was screaming that I was 'faking' and only wanted his ins money (the whole $10k of his policy )

I hated this guy with every fiber of my being. Finally after about 10 mos of this hell, I was walking again with the use of a cane. I needed him to see me. I wanted him to look at me and acknowledge the devastation of my life that he caused. So I asked my mom to take me to his house. There were moving people around, and when I asked where so-and-so was, they told me he died 2 or 3 days earlier.

I was devastated. Not for him....he had what seemed a good life. But I was devastated for me...that I'll never have the closure I needed.

But my accident and surgery changed me totally. I don't sweat the small sh!t. I appreciate getting out of bed in the morning. I value the time with my family. And equally importantly.....because there was a good chance I'd have been paralyzed or dead after surgery, I took stock of my life after obviously neither happening. I saw my marriage as not happy at all. I saw where I was like a living corpse going thru the motions of life. And I had the courage to leave. And then I had the courage to pursue this relationship with D. Before all this, I'd have NEVER EVER EVER given anything like this the time of day. And look at how my life has been blessed by such a wonderful man because I had this adventurous side which grew out of 'wow, let me live my life to the fullest'

So now I pray for the soul of that old man. Because of him, I'm going to have a wonderfully fulfilling life.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

That reminds me of a recent episode of Oprah...I wasn't watching, just flipping channels, but I saw this young man's disfigured face and wondered what whappened. Apparently he tried to commit suicide...using a shotgun...and literally blew his face off but lived. He's since forgiven himself.

[isleta521 5]

Wow...what a friend.

As bad as she was, that's how good she was in other aspects. I know that sounds crazy, but if there was nothing to compare to, be jealous of, etc...she was an awesome friend.

But the bad finally outweighed the good.

That's too bad for her. Maybe someday she'll realize that.

Eh, who knows! But my forehead no longer says 'sucker'!

I will share a good story of forgiveness. The old man who hit me head on. He was driving on the left side of the road and came around a curved underpass and just nailed me. Most of the old timers here know how bad I was hurt, Lord knows I mention it enough. But I was REALLY hurt. I had so many broken bones I couldn't walk...chemical burns on my arms, I was in a wheelchair for a while, etc. I was in constant horrendous pain for 5 mos and my life was literally destroyed. I gained 100 pounds in a year, then eventually my waist length thick as hell hair was shaved off & I was bald after a 9 hour surgery. I was bed ridden for like 5 mos, and almost a million dollars in debt.

The 86 year old guy would power walk past my house, and I'd feel such a hatred of him. I'd feel bile rising up in my body at the thought of him. He lived near my family, so I'd pass his house all the time. I'd stare at him or his house with a look of contempt and pure unadulterated hatred. He never apologized...he never acknowledged me. At the scene of the accident, he was screaming that I was 'faking' and only wanted his ins money (the whole $10k of his policy )

I hated this guy with every fiber of my being. Finally after about 10 mos of this hell, I was walking again with the use of a cane. I needed him to see me. I wanted him to look at me and acknowledge the devastation of my life that he caused. So I asked my mom to take me to his house. There were moving people around, and when I asked where so-and-so was, they told me he died 2 or 3 days earlier.

I was devastated. Not for him....he had what seemed a good life. But I was devastated for me...that I'll never have the closure I needed.

But my accident and surgery changed me totally. I don't sweat the small sh!t. I appreciate getting out of bed in the morning. I value the time with my family. And equally importantly.....because there was a good chance I'd have been paralyzed or dead after surgery, I took stock of my life after obviously neither happening. I saw my marriage as not happy at all. I saw where I was like a living corpse going thru the motions of life. And I had the courage to leave. And then I had the courage to pursue this relationship with D. Before all this, I'd have NEVER EVER EVER given anything like this the time of day. And look at how my life has been blessed by such a wonderful man because I had this adventurous side which grew out of 'wow, let me live my life to the fullest'

So now I pray for the soul of that old man. Because of him, I'm going to have a wonderfully fulfilling life.

Wow Lisa,

Sorry that you had to go through hell to find a good place in your life. Yet you did find solace and peace it seems. Sometimes blessings can come mysteriously and without reason.

wish you and your D all the happiness that you rightfully deserve.

d

[Ta Ta 1]

To forgive someone that keeps on burning you, you just ' cancel the emotional debt ' you set them and yourself free by forgiving and then you

move on without them in your life and don't put your hand into the same snake pit again.

Forgiveness does not mean you put yourself into the same situation over and over again with the same painful consequences.

Some people think that is what it means to forgive but no not necessarily.

One can forgive and part ways.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

To forgive someone that keeps on burning you, you just ' cancel the emotional debt ' you set them and yourself free by forgiving and then you

move on without them in your life and don't put your hand into the same snake pit again.

Forgiveness does not mean you put yourself into the same situation over and over again with the same painful consequences.

Some people think that is what it means to forgive but no not necessarily.

One can forgive and part ways.

[Fandango 1,440]

TY so much Isleta....and I hope you and your family are also blessed with all of life's happiness!

Heck, I hope that for each and every one of us

To forgive someone that keeps on burning you, you just ' cancel the emotional debt ' you set them and yourself free by forgiving and then you

move on without them in your life and don't put your hand into the same snake pit again.

Forgiveness does not mean you put yourself into the same situation over and over again with the same painful consequences.

Some people think that is what it means to forgive but no not necessarily.

One can forgive and part ways.

Yeah well in the case of my friend, I don't think I can actually forgive her....I have accepted that's who she is, but as far as forgiveness....not gonna happen. Because I can't forgive someone for something she's not actually sorry for. I don't think that puts me in the 'needing to be set free' category because I look at it like 'it is what it is' and I don't feel any bitterness or regret.

[Nessa 23]

Well, I don't hold grudges, I guess that's the same as forgiveness...

butt plotting revenge is so satisfying.