Illegal Husband

[Sinergy 3]

I may have missed it somewhere, but did someone actually say turn him into INS athorities???

[CarolineM 0]

Fair enough. I'd say you are probably too close to the issue to have an objective perspective anyway, no offense. I was the same way with my coke head ex...it happens.

Now that I have a minute, please don't simply dismiss me as though I somehow have my vision clouded as to the bigger picture here. You look and you see illegal=illegal so you try and make a point comparing illegals to coke addicts. I still say big difference. No reasonable person would turn in the person they love because they are an illegal alien. I might however be so inclined if the person I loved was damaging their health and probably the relationship by doing drugs. And it would be for their own good, which I can't see how turning your husband in because he's here illegally would be for anyone's own good. Send him back to Mexico, sure, but turn him in? The thought is purely and simply ridiculous.

Sooo....your fiances "episode" did not damage your relationship AT ALL?

oh well, I will remain here, ridiculous....I don't even know, honestly, how you feel about the issue...or even really what the issue on this thread is. DO I support this woman and her illegal husband? No, probably not. Does that make a callous b****. Maybe...but I'll live with it.

In addition, I did NOT dismiss you. You said you didn't want to argue, I said ok. That's not dismissive - i'd say it's actually fairly agreeable.

Edited April 21, 2006 by karo112

[Traviesa 0]

So here is a question then to the ppl that are involved with (ex)illegal ppl here in the US or back and trying to do it the correct way now.

When my wife was in tears asking me why she can not work, travel to visit families, etc because she did not have the proper documents.. but her class mates in the ESL class she was attending all were working, etc though illegally immigrated...

What should I have said instead of "I do not know how long it will take, I am sorry. I just want to do it the correct way and make sure that you are always in legal status."

Because you know... I felt dirty and helpless for that as she cried and wanted to return home many times because it took so such a long time to even hear of the process moving along. And yes, I'd really like to know.

If you felt dirty and helpless, there's something wrong with you. You should be thankful that you did things the right way to begin with and although it may be disappointing and may cause some hardships, not being able to work for several months is not the end of the world. Now you tell me why your question was directed at me. I have never worked illegally nor have I ever desired to do so. Why would you ask me that question? Trust me, your wife wouldn't have enjoyed Javier's job. She's probably much better off with whatever she is doing. You want to hear of long processes and such? I don't think you want to get into it with me on that one. Tell me why did I have to cry and feel like DYING when I went to visit my fiance in JAIL? I'm seriously having a difficult time with sympathy for you, buddy.

[CarolineM 0]

i'm sure this won't help at all - but that sounds to me like a situation I deal with here all the time.

my seniors have decided to STOP DOING WORK. They do nothing. Nothing at all.

When they find out they won't graduate they cry and cry and cry...but I don't feel bad for them BECAUSE THEY CHOSE THE PATH THEY ARE ON. i'm not saying it wasn't painful for you, Melissa, to see him in jail...but did some part of you NOT THINK...these are the consequences of his actions...he got himself into this.

Even when my ex was so into coke that he had spent all his money and was filing BAKRUPTCY...i loved him, and I felt bad for him...but all the while I knew those were his desicions and HIS ACTIONS.

[Traviesa 0]

Fair enough. I'd say you are probably too close to the issue to have an objective perspective anyway, no offense. I was the same way with my coke head ex...it happens.

Now that I have a minute, please don't simply dismiss me as though I somehow have my vision clouded as to the bigger picture here. You look and you see illegal=illegal so you try and make a point comparing illegals to coke addicts. I still say big difference. No reasonable person would turn in the person they love because they are an illegal alien. I might however be so inclined if the person I loved was damaging their health and probably the relationship by doing drugs. And it would be for their own good, which I can't see how turning your husband in because he's here illegally would be for anyone's own good. Send him back to Mexico, sure, but turn him in? The thought is purely and simply ridiculous.

Sooo....your fiances "episode" did not damage your relationship AT ALL?

oh well, I will remain here, ridiculous....I don't even know, honestly, how you feel about the issue...or even really what the issue on this thread is. DO I support this woman and her illegal husband? No, probably not. Does that make a callous b****. Maybe...but I'll live with it.

In addition, I did NOT dismiss you. You said you didn't want to argue, I said ok. That's not dismissive - i'd say it's actually fairly agreeable.

The dismissive I was referring to is how everyone says that I must be too close to the situation to get the big picture. As far as the episode I'm not sure which one you're referring to. If it's the jailing and deportation, no it did not. I was one of the ONLY ones who was by his side throughout the entire thing. Even his own family and friends couldn't be bothered. If anything it increased my love for him. If you're talking about the times when he used cocaine-those happened 8 years ago, I didn't even know him, I would certainly hate to be punished for things I did 8 years ago, if you're referring to the tasting, it was a dumb move, and yes, I was upset, but is my relationship damaged? I DON'T THINK SO!

[CarolineM 0]

Well ya'll aren't together and you say every day how upsetting is that ya'll can't be together.

That might not be "damaging" per se, but it certainly isn't good for you...or him I would imagine...and the reason you are apart now IS BECAUSE OF HIM And the actions and desicions HE MADE.

[Traviesa 0]

Well ya'll aren't together and you say every day how upsetting is that ya'll can't be together.

That might not be "damaging" per se, but it certainly isn't good for you...or him I would imagine...and the reason you are apart now IS BECAUSE OF HIM And the actions and desicions HE MADE.

Karo, I know that good and well. I remind him of it sometimes when he gets on my nerves. But I love him. I'm willing to go through what I'm going through in order to be with him. Despite the various upsetting and depressing times in our relationship, he's the only one in this world with the ability to make me feel better with just his voice alone. When I'm with him, I feel safe, happy, healthy...I also recognize that I am not perfect and have done things to hurt him along the way. Despite all of that, he has stuck by me and I'm sticking by him, even if that lands me in Mexico one day.

[CarolineM 0]

well good - we agree then?1?!?! I couldn't really understand where we disagreed anyway...it DID effect your relationship and so did the coke (for my old one..)

Like I said this whole thread is about this woman and her illegal husband I don't support it, and that was all.

I lost track of what we were arguing about to be honest.

[Mirorgate 0]

If you felt dirty and helpless, there's something wrong with you. You should be thankful that you did things the right way to begin with and although it may be disappointing and may cause some hardships, not being able to work for several months is not the end of the world. Now you tell me why your question was directed at me. I have never worked illegally nor have I ever desired to do so. Why would you ask me that question? Trust me, your wife wouldn't have enjoyed Javier's job. She's probably much better off with whatever she is doing. You want to hear of long processes and such? I don't think you want to get into it with me on that one. Tell me why did I have to cry and feel like DYING when I went to visit my fiance in JAIL? I'm seriously having a difficult time with sympathy for you, buddy.

Seriously.. you specifically.. yes that is exactly how I phrased it. let me just go back and reread where I posted that to you MissLiss specifically. Lets see, I quoted you.... nowhere.

So here is a question then to the ppl that are involved with (ex)illegal ppl here in the US or back and trying to do it the correct way now.

When my wife was in tears asking me why she can not work, travel to visit families, etc because she did not have the proper documents.. but her class mates in the ESL class she was attending all were working, etc though illegally immigrated...

What should I have said instead of "I do not know how long it will take, I am sorry. I just want to do it the correct way and make sure that you are always in legal status."

Because you know... I felt dirty and helpless for that as she cried and wanted to return home many times because it took so such a long time to even hear of the process moving along. And yes, I'd really like to know.

hmmm.. I am sure since you brought that up it must have been mispaleced though....

You are right, not being able to work a few months is not the end of teh world.. but again.. thats exactly what the issue was. Nothign to do with how to phrase to my wife why they are, but she is not.

And it is plain obvious why you have never worked illegally in a country where you are a legal citizen... why bring that up? Does not make sense.

I am sorry that you were crying when he was in prison... I really am.

Yet you (and yes specifically here) go on about how we are to treat them all as human and not blame them for wanting to provide for their family. fair enough... I agree. I do as well, and providing for mine also is helping her accomplish those goals that she wants to accomplish. Even if it was working at a fast food place (she applied to many after she received her work authorization card) because it will take years to work in her profession. Retesting and all for the licensing.

Just had a simple question I did, but if you wish to side-step it... then fine. Wasn't looking for sympathy... just an honest answer as to what I could've told her.

But hey... sorry for wanting an honest answer here.

[Fuzzness 2]

Well ya'll aren't together and you say every day how upsetting is that ya'll can't be together.

That might not be "damaging" per se, but it certainly isn't good for you...or him I would imagine...and the reason you are apart now IS BECAUSE OF HIM And the actions and desicions HE MADE.

just a damn minute.... a LOT of us aren't together with our loved ones! is it because of something we did wrong? what actions and decisions have I made to be separated from Karen for so long?

[almaty 19]

I may have missed it somewhere, but did someone actually say turn him into INS athorities???

don't know but melissa read it somewhere

[Traviesa 0]

If you felt dirty and helpless, there's something wrong with you. You should be thankful that you did things the right way to begin with and although it may be disappointing and may cause some hardships, not being able to work for several months is not the end of the world. Now you tell me why your question was directed at me. I have never worked illegally nor have I ever desired to do so. Why would you ask me that question? Trust me, your wife wouldn't have enjoyed Javier's job. She's probably much better off with whatever she is doing. You want to hear of long processes and such? I don't think you want to get into it with me on that one. Tell me why did I have to cry and feel like DYING when I went to visit my fiance in JAIL? I'm seriously having a difficult time with sympathy for you, buddy.

Seriously.. you specifically.. yes that is exactly how I phrased it. let me just go back and reread where I posted that to you MissLiss specifically. Lets see, I quoted you.... nowhere.

So here is a question then to the ppl that are involved with (ex)illegal ppl here in the US or back and trying to do it the correct way now.

When my wife was in tears asking me why she can not work, travel to visit families, etc because she did not have the proper documents.. but her class mates in the ESL class she was attending all were working, etc though illegally immigrated...

What should I have said instead of "I do not know how long it will take, I am sorry. I just want to do it the correct way and make sure that you are always in legal status."

Because you know... I felt dirty and helpless for that as she cried and wanted to return home many times because it took so such a long time to even hear of the process moving along. And yes, I'd really like to know.

hmmm.. I am sure since you brought that up it must have been mispaleced though....

You are right, not being able to work a few months is not the end of teh world.. but again.. thats exactly what the issue was. Nothign to do with how to phrase to my wife why they are, but she is not.

And it is plain obvious why you have never worked illegally in a country where you are a legal citizen... why bring that up? Does not make sense.

I am sorry that you were crying when he was in prison... I really am.

Yet you (and yes specifically here) go on about how we are to treat them all as human and not blame them for wanting to provide for their family. fair enough... I agree. I do as well, and providing for mine also is helping her accomplish those goals that she wants to accomplish. Even if it was working at a fast food place (she applied to many after she received her work authorization card) because it will take years to work in her profession. Retesting and all for the licensing.

Just had a simple question I did, but if you wish to side-step it... then fine. Wasn't looking for sympathy... just an honest answer as to what I could've told her.

But hey... sorry for wanting an honest answer here.

Naw, man you said this is to all the people who are involved with (ex) illegals and trying to do it the right way...that's me! Who else were you talking to?? If you want to know the answer to your question, I think you could answer mine...why was I there crying in the jail? Because I chose to be with an illegal. Why do you have to hear your wife cry? Because you all chose for her to come and live here. We make our beds, we must lie in them.

[Fischkoepfin 1]

Alright, I'm off to do my last last-minute shopping in Germany. Still need to get some cheese and stuff while I can. See you later.

your reunited. yet you forget the he11 you have gone through. thats why you try to dog our

behinds for not offering a warm welcome to fast track nelly and her sister. your mind is so clouded.

Shon, just get off my back. You have no clue what's going on in my life.

Alright, I'm off to do my last last-minute shopping in Germany. Still need to get some cheese and stuff while I can. See you later.

Das Ladenschlussgesetz. One of the things I do not miss.

Me neither. I can't wait to do some shopping in the middle of the night; maybe that's what I'll do tomorrow.

[Velvettt 0]

Hmmmmmm

Eleven pages and nothing else from the OP. Most people respond to defend themselves or something IF IT'S A REAL POST.

Gawwwwd some of you are gullible. Can't you tell it's just a flame war invitation???

[sassasdave 0]

Have a good flight Fishy, enjoy your re-union.

Hmmmmmm

Eleven pages and nothing else from the OP. Most people respond to defend themselves or something IF IT'S A REAL POST.

Gawwwwd some of you are gullible. Can't you tell it's just a flame war invitation???

As I said earlier in this thread, we will not see the OP until she needs help after her illegal has been deported.