Please be honest with me...

[Simply_Uno 1]

You said = There may be some inside scoop I can provide that you may or may not be aware of (this is addressed to unononehigher and besangin) the choice we make to marry a black man and have mixed children can and does cause severe ostracism by our own families and friends.

I said = I am fully aware of the issues that women of "other" races go through when dealing with black men, birthing their babies and being cast aside by their families for their decisions. No "inside" scoop needed. I'm quite sure its "mostly" the same song just a different rhythm. (I have several white acquaintances from years back who have cried upon my shoulder from different economic backgrounds explaining to me their woes about their interracial relationships and biracial children).

Whatever they may be thinking and saying about you, they are thinking and saying worse about us.

(I agree whole-heartedly)

No we can never be black women.

(Never said or meant to imply that you could, but I did want to express that you could not in your wildest dreams comprehend what we go through, being invalidated by our very own parents, siblings, cousins and peers from childhood, because of our skin tone, our full ethnic features, our broad hip span, our fight to co-exist only to be told that we have an attitude problem, being considered less in value because we are not light enough, and then our lighter complected counterparts thinking (because they were told) they are better than us because they are "light, bright and damn near white", not being brought to the forefront of activities because we are darker, even though we radiate with talent, being told "not to go in the sun because you'll get dark"). The list goes on and on.

You said = But we have invested our entire lives into these relationships and willingly taken on hatred for the sake of loving our spouses and children (which is worth a million times more suffering!) I hate that the world is the way it is but I certainly didn't run from it when I chose my husband

(I never meant to imply anything about your relationship or choices and I am not in a position to judge.)

and clearly neither did ose_n_me (no comment).

These are our families. (yes, they are).

Someone said something regarding having mixed children, if the child appears to be more African than European, she will never understand what that child is living through.

( I made that statement).

Sure that's true. You can't actually LIVE another person's life. It was mentioned that she will feel compassion and heartbreak for that child though. That is so true, doesn't that amount to anything?

(It amounts to compassion).

I said = But until you LIVE IT and it reaks havoc upon your psyche while you try to rationalize within yourself why someone treats you differently due to circumstances you can not control and then for a civilized society to encompass this behavior. You will never understand, that is all I meant when I said you have to black to understand. We not only have racism to deal with in society, but we have a more detrimental racism within our own culture that got its roots from the days of slavery. So as I stated, compassion is the best we as humans...can offer. I can't find any other way to explain to you the magnitude of the underlying issues and damages that one goes through.

You said = I don't know any mother who can witness her child's suffering and not suffer double.

Although ose_n_me is not African American, her credentials to me speak volumes.

(Okay, if I were hiring, her credetials would mean something to me also, but I have no job openings).

She genuinely cares. She is invested in this with everything she is. (You said so)

You asked = What do you want us to do?

I answered = I want you to keep doing what you are already doing, being proactive about these issues because now, they affect you, due to your choices. If you would have chosen a different mate (of the caucasion persuasion), these issues would not even have crossed your mind. I'm not saying this in an angry way.

(No anger detected)

It's a serious question. (I agree)

You asked = What do you want us to do to better understand you?

I answered = (My grandmother has always told me to arm yourself with knowledge and prepare to use your knowledge proactively, productively, and constructively. She later told me to also hear with your ears, see with your eyes and comprehend with the heart of the ones that are suffering.)

You asked = How can we gain a better understanding of one another?

I answered = If we take "self" out of the equation and add in self accountability, then we might be able to "accept" each other instead of "tolerating" eachother.

Be Blessed in your journey and in all your getting "get understanding"

[Divine Mercy 0]

You definitely have a talent when it comes to copying pasting and editing text in this forum! I'm not that good but I'll try .. I hope it makes sense.

You said = There may be some inside scoop I can provide that you may or may not be aware of (this is addressed to unononehigher and besangin) the choice we make to marry a black man and have mixed children can and does cause severe ostracism by our own families and friends.

I said = I am fully aware of the issues that women of "other" races go through when dealing with black men, birthing their babies and being cast aside by their families for their decisions. No "inside" scoop needed. I'm quite sure its "mostly" the same song just a different rhythm. (I have several white acquaintances from years back who have cried upon my shoulder from different economic backgrounds explaining to me their woes about their interracial relationships and biracial children). I'm happy you understand that so well, I am sorry that your friends had to go through it though

Whatever they may be thinking and saying about you, they are thinking and saying worse about us.

(I agree whole-heartedly)

No we can never be black women.

(Never said or meant to imply that you could, but I did want to express that you could not in your wildest dreams comprehend what we go through, being invalidated by our very own parents, siblings, cousins and peers from childhood, because of our skin tone, our full ethnic features, our broad hip span, our fight to co-exist only to be told that we have an attitude problem, being considered less in value because we are not light enough, and then our lighter complected counterparts thinking (because they were told) they are better than us because they are "light, bright and damn near white", not being brought to the forefront of activities because we are darker, even though we radiate with talent, being told "not to go in the sun because you'll get dark"). The list goes on and on. I believe it. That attitude exists in and among Nigerians, I've witnessed them treating one another that way. I do see that the same influences that shaped our country has imposed its evil thoughts on their country as well, historically speaking.

You said = But we have invested our entire lives into these relationships and willingly taken on hatred for the sake of loving our spouses and children (which is worth a million times more suffering!) I hate that the world is the way it is but I certainly didn't run from it when I chose my husband

(I never meant to imply anything about your relationship or choices and I am not in a position to judge.)

and clearly neither did ose_n_me (no comment).

These are our families. (yes, they are). Thank you for replying so kindly and open mindedly. (Is that even a word?)

Someone said something regarding having mixed children, if the child appears to be more African than European, she will never understand what that child is living through.

( I made that statement).

Sure that's true. You can't actually LIVE another person's life. It was mentioned that she will feel compassion and heartbreak for that child though. That is so true, doesn't that amount to anything?

(It amounts to compassion). haha good point.

I said = But until you LIVE IT and it reaks havoc upon your psyche while you try to rationalize within yourself why someone treats you differently due to circumstances you can not control and then for a civilized society to encompass this behavior. You will never understand, that is all I meant when I said you have to black to understand. We not only have racism to deal with in society, but we have a more detrimental racism within our own culture that got its roots from the days of slavery. So as I stated, compassion is the best we as humans...can offer. I can't find any other way to explain to you the magnitude of the underlying issues and damages that one goes through. You're doing a really good job of it right now!

You said = I don't know any mother who can witness her child's suffering and not suffer double.

Although ose_n_me is not African American, her credentials to me speak volumes.

(Okay, if I were hiring, her credetials would mean something to me also, but I have no job openings).

She genuinely cares. She is invested in this with everything she is. (You said so)

You asked = What do you want us to do?

I answered = I want you to keep doing what you are already doing, being proactive about these issues because now, they affect you, due to your choices. If you would have chosen a different mate (of the caucasion persuasion), these issues would not even have crossed your mind. I'm not saying this in an angry way.

(No anger detected) I was married to a white "man" ( the quotations denote that this creature was hardly a man) and you're right, it didn't really come up. I lived in blissful ignorance unaware of any such deeper issues. I really thought the 60s were over and there were only a handful of truly racist people in the world.

It's a serious question. (I agree)

You asked = What do you want us to do to better understand you?

I answered = (My grandmother has always told me to arm yourself with knowledge and prepare to use your knowledge proactively, productively, and constructively. She later told me to also hear with your ears, see with your eyes and comprehend with the heart of the ones that are suffering.) What a wonderful woman!

You asked = How can we gain a better understanding of one another?

I answered = If we take "self" out of the equation and add in self accountability, then we might be able to "accept" each other instead of "tolerating" eachother. well said!

Be Blessed in your journey and in all your getting "get understanding"

[BESANGIN 0]

DAMN!!!!!! I'm glad this is over with. Now what the hell did ya'll get for Christmas?!!!! I know what you got Uno. Glad the kids had a fantastic Christmas.

[Ta Ta 1]

you know what I got too

I bet you are enjoying that TV.

[BESANGIN 0]

you know what I got too

I bet you are enjoying that TV.

Oh yeah Girl!!!! Just watched Talk to Me with Don Cheadle. That movie is funny as HELL!!!!!!If you haven't seen it, see it!!

[Ta Ta 1]

Never heard of it.......I seen him in Hotel Rwanda and he was good, got to check it out.