What would u do ?

[Ta Ta 1]

The USC bears the responsibility to evaluate the relationship and the individual he/she wants to petition and it is his/her signature

on the affidavit of support by his/her choice. If this is not done with eyes wide open then deal with it and move on.

One only has themselves to blame and be accountable for one's action instead of expecting the USCIS to now spend more tax dollars

to investigate an accusation of fraud when there is no obvious proof, signed documentation or concrete evidence of fraud.

It is your word against his and that is that. Do you have 100% proof ? If not I don't want my tax dollar spend on the USCIS going on a wild goose chase of a woman scorned.

He left me is not substantial evidence and it is not the USCIS's job to act on behalf of the USC and spend hours finding out what happened.

Sorry people get scammed. Take responsibility for the choices you have made and stop looking to use ICE for revenge who are busy

catching criminals and terrorists and are not concerned with petty ' he left me ' issues.

Let us bring this from an emotional perspective into hard reality of the way immigration works.

Report it if you must and please stop being redundant in this forum, adjust your expectations of USCIS and understand their function.

No one has heard or ever will hear Victors side so we will never fully understand what really happened and this is beating a dead horse

and I am tired of the merry-go-round with the same old deportation rally.

There can be no objectivity without knowing both sides and everything is just speculation.

There truly is no comparison between Besanging and Idocares posting though both have suffered, I agree with Ogele on how different

the reaction from both has been.

[We_Destiny 1]

Ogele

Interesting questions. Are you from Africa? If your wife use profanity around you, you would divorce her or you all would discuss the problem?

Quote: Nigerians and indeed many Africans are often very demanding in terms of the intellectual,moral and character standards of their spouses. Unquote. Guess Americans don't demand those qualities.

Idocare..... Besangin.......Thank you all a thousand time for your story. Just so you will know, some of us do listen.

JJWashington..... yes, the letter writing does help the hurt. With my ex, I did question my action more so than his. The red flags were there but I was blind. We have to admit where we went wrong also. Learn, grow and let go.

Idocare and Besangin, you all don't even have a clue how you've help me. Just wanted to let you all know.

HakeemConstance:

Yes,I am Igbo,a Nigerian,an African and a United States Citizen.FYI,my U.S.citizenship was not acquired through marriage.

My use of the profanity example is to highlight the fact that disagreeable personal habits can be spoilers in a relationship.And yes,I would try to talk the problem over,but since Idocare’s ex-husband is not here to defend himself,I am not overly keen to assume that he simply packed his bags and left without making an effort.

With reference to the high standards demanded by African spouses,I think that it is common knowledge that all cultures demand same.The context in which I used this is to help Idocare and many others still on their visa journey to reassess their relationships,objectively.Even at graduate school,I met some Americans who,having watched too many documentaries on starving,disease ridden,poverty infested,unemployment gutted Africa,actually believed that Africans would swallow anything to come to the United States.Please read Idocare’s every posts on how Nigerians are desperate to come to the USA.

Comparing Idocare’s posts with Bensangin’s is to do Bensangin a wrong in my view.Please read Bensangin’s posts:decent,objective,informative,even humorous without losing the important message.Do you honestly believe that Bensangin has suffered less pain than Idocare?Probably not.Idocare’s is so colored with personal anger,negativity,and calls for blood that it scares rather than impart wisdom.And how long has it been since this divorce?You really cannot give good advice to people from a podium of anger or hate. I believe most people on this journey sincerely want to learn the truth in order to succeed and not to be harassed and scared into ditching their own plans

As a Nigerian engaged to a fellow Nigerian,there is little or no benefit in terms of advice on how to proceed with my relationship that I can receive on this forum,in the intercultural sense.But I am also as compassionate as I am pragmatic,sharing in the humanity of my fellow travelers regardless of ethnicity,race or nationality,hence my posts to contribute my humble ideas.Sometimes,you need to use a little tough love to help people along.This is a new year,a beautiful world with great prospects awaits,and I want Idocare and all others who hurt to let go and reach for their blessings.Ina proverb as ancient as my ancestors,"he who forgives,ends the argument."

I hope I was able to bring more clarity to my prior post.

I totally agree and this is the point I was attempting to make in my previous post.

My main concern is though she has the right to hate, and that possible disappointment can be related to the immigration process. Enough is Enough my husband and my future children will be Igbo, I myself take deep offence to someone continually bad mouthing his countrymen, because, their relationship was #######. Im am sure some appreciated it in 2005 when it was informative, but it is now 2008 and it is becomming harrassing. We are all grown here and know what all the possibilities are with long distance and international reationships (and we proceed), this is a forum for family based immigration.

I for one don't need to be tainted by the constant verbal abuse regarding any ethnic group let alone my husbands and children. Let someone come on here and constantly spout how horrible America is and that all American (or many) are deceptive, gold digging scammers and will do any thing to get an husband / wife. I don't think they would be tolerated.

[Ta Ta 1]

The USC bears the responsibility to evaluate the relationship and the individual he/she wants to petition and it is his/her signature

on the affidavit of support by his/her choice. If this is not done with eyes wide open then deal with it and move on.

One only has themselves to blame and be accountable for one's action instead of expecting the USCIS to now spend more tax dollars

to investigate an accusation of fraud when there is no obvious proof, signed documentation or concrete evidence of fraud.

It is your word against his and that is that. Do you have 100% proof ? If not I don't want my tax dollar spend on the USCIS going on a wild goose chase of a woman scorned.

He left me is not substantial evidence and it is not the USCIS's job to act on behalf of the USC and spend hours finding out what happened.

Sorry people get scammed. Take responsibility for the choices you have made and stop looking to use ICE for revenge who are busy

catching criminals and terrorists and are not concerned with petty ' he left me ' issues.

Let us bring this from an emotional perspective into hard reality of the way immigration works.

Report it if you must and please stop being redundant in this forum, adjust your expectations of USCIS and understand their function.

No one has heard or ever will hear Victors side so we will never fully understand what really happened and this is beating a dead horse

and I am tired of the merry-go-round with the same old deportation rally.

There can be no objectivity without knowing both sides and everything is just speculation.

There truly is no comparison between Besanging and Idocares posting though both have suffered, I agree with Ogele on how different

the reaction from both has been.

If the Nigerian bashing continues I will take it up with Admin. Every thread is coming down to idocares fight for deportation issue and frankly

it has brought this very informative, supportive and educational light hearted forum down hill and is picking up speed.

It is not about you every single time Idocare and most of us are tired of being fraud spoonfed to the point of nausea in EVERY thread.

Could you please grace us with some board etiquette !

There are other message boards out there and yahoo groups with focus on fraud where you can constantly rally your deportation opinion but

as Destiny said this is an immigration board and not a deportation/fraud message board. At the very least keep in in the appropriate forum.

The point is you are pushing everyones limits here and enjoyment in this forum is not what it used to be.

We are all big girls and can handle ourselves just fine. Thank you.

Not trying to sound mean and offensive just tired of it.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Comparing Idocare’s posts with Bensangin’s is to do Bensangin a wrong in my view.Please read Bensangin’s posts:decent,objective,informative,even humorous without losing the important message.Do you honestly believe that Bensangin has suffered less pain than Idocare?Probably not.Idocare’s is so colored with personal anger,negativity,and calls for blood that it scares rather than impart wisdom.And how long has it been since this divorce? You really cannot give good advice to people from a podium of anger or hate. I believe most people on this journey sincerely want to learn the truth in order to succeed and not to be harassed and scared into ditching their own plans

I agree.

[Bashorun 1]

The USC bears the responsibility to evaluate the relationship and the individual he/she wants to petition and it is his/her signature

on the affidavit of support by his/her choice. If this is not done with eyes wide open then deal with it and move on.

One only has themselves to blame and be accountable for one's action instead of expecting the USCIS to now spend more tax dollars

to investigate an accusation of fraud when there is no obvious proof, signed documentation or concrete evidence of fraud.

It is your word against his and that is that. Do you have 100% proof ? If not I don't want my tax dollar spend on the USCIS going on a wild goose chase of a woman scorned.

He left me is not substantial evidence and it is not the USCIS's job to act on behalf of the USC and spend hours finding out what happened.

Sorry people get scammed. Take responsibility for the choices you have made and stop looking to use ICE for revenge who are busy

catching criminals and terrorists and are not concerned with petty ' he left me ' issues.

Let us bring this from an emotional perspective into hard reality of the way immigration works.

Report it if you must and please stop being redundant in this forum, adjust your expectations of USCIS and understand their function.

No one has heard or ever will hear Victors side so we will never fully understand what really happened and this is beating a dead horse

and I am tired of the merry-go-round with the same old deportation rally.

There can be no objectivity without knowing both sides and everything is just speculation.

There truly is no comparison between Besanging and Idocares posting though both have suffered, I agree with Ogele on how different

the reaction from both has been.

If the Nigerian bashing continues I will take it up with Admin. Every thread is coming down to idocares fight for deportation issue and frankly

it has brought this very informative, supportive and educational light hearted forum down hill and is picking up speed.

It is not about you every single time Idocare and most of us are tired of being fraud spoonfed to the point of nausea in EVERY thread.

Could you please grace us with some board etiquette !

There are other message boards out there and yahoo groups with focus on fraud where you can constantly rally your deportation opinion but

as Destiny said this is an immigration board and not a deportation/fraud message board. At the very least keep in in the appropriate forum.

The point is you are pushing everyones limits here and enjoyment in this forum is not what it used to be.

We are all big girls and can handle ourselves just fine. Thank you.

Not trying to sound mean and offensive just tired of it.

One more thing I needed to add is that when someone is diagnosed of having a problem, it is one thing to be diagnosed and another to accept having the problem before U start to heal. If U don't accept having a problem, how can U start the process of healing???

Edited January 3, 2008 by Bashorun

[Ta Ta 1]

You can't.

[We_Destiny 1]

I totally agree and this is the point I was attempting to make in my previous post.

My main concern is though she has the right to hate, and that possible disappointment can be related to the immigration process. Enough is Enough my husband and my future children will be Igbo, I myself take deep offence to someone continually bad mouthing his countrymen, because, their relationship was #######. Im am sure some appreciated it in 2005 when it was informative, but it is now 2008 and it is becomming harrassing. We are all grown here and know what all the possibilities are with long distance and international reationships (and we proceed), this is a forum for family based immigration.

I for one don't need to be tainted by the constant verbal abuse regarding any ethnic group let alone my husbands and children. Let someone come on here and constantly spout how horrible America is and that all American (or many) are deceptive, gold digging scammers and will do any thing to get an husband / wife. I don't think they would be tolerated.

Or on a second note start a TOPIC specifically abour FRAUD & DEPORTATION and people can come and go and participate as they please. It can be idocare and whom ever elses outlet to vent their issues,

[Zee Bee 61]

If the Nigerian bashing continues I will take it up with Admin. Every thread is coming down to idocares fight for deportation issue and frankly

it has brought this very informative, supportive and educational light hearted forum down hill and is picking up speed.

It is not about you every single time Idocare and most of us are tired of being fraud spoonfed to the point of nausea in EVERY thread.

Could you please grace us with some board etiquette !

There are other message boards out there and yahoo groups with focus on fraud where you can constantly rally your deportation opinion but

as Destiny said this is an immigration board and not a deportation/fraud message board. At the very least keep in in the appropriate forum.

The point is you are pushing everyones limits here and enjoyment in this forum is not what it used to be.

We are all big girls and can handle ourselves just fine. Thank you.

Not trying to sound mean and offensive just tired of it.

I agree with you Omoba

I too am tired of these posts going back to deportation, fraud, yada yada.

I am a big proponent for skipping threads if you don't like the content but the fact that this keeps creeping up in every post makes it hard for me to enjoy this forum any more.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

I would morn the loss of our relationship. Then I would reflect back to what I gleamed from the experience. What was I lacking emotionally and spiritually that lead me on a path to be preyed upon. I have been down this route before. If one does not grow from this experience, they will meet the same type of person in America.

USCIS : I would follow through on what I needed to do regarding telling the truth to the USCIS, despite the fact that I know it is my word against his. I would do nothing to assist in supporting his visa or adjustment of status. Then I would relish the fact that until he did good by god, he will never be happy and fulfilled. Hopefully eventually when I am having a joy filled moment, I will have pity for him.

[idocare 3]

Abena Joy 2

Thanks for your timely post. You have clearly brougt out the evidence to eveything I have been trying to rely and I know I.m helping some who have like me been scammed. Scammers don't come from Nigeria alone ( where my Nigeria husband is from ) with the internet and before the internet there were scammers from many different countries. Now it's just easier to come here thru marriage with the internet and all.

It doesen't take much now all a alien needs now is a USC to fall deeply in love and file papers in your behalf.

Ogle/WE DESTINY,

I can't remember who posted that I'm harrassing people on here but as you know this is a form of expression, again I'll say, if your offended by my post your free not to read any post from me again.

My ex just happens to be from Nigeria, so that's what I know to speak on. I will continue to post as I feel just as u do. If I can help one person evaluate their situation then I feel that I have done my job. Tor those who are secure in their relationships my posting shouldn't bother them and infact they should be glad that someone has the guts to keep things real.

As for my ex. husband, yeah he was a doctor in Nigeria and No I'm not a doctor here in America he stands to benefit much more then me now, although he contacted me first on the internet, and he choose me to marry. I'm not worried about defamation issues because I have e-mails and proof that he presued me first. He was also the one that left the marriage once I filed AOS papers. I believe every women desires to have a man that can take care of business which he and alot of aliens do believe in education, that's not a secret. But when someone proclaims their love for you and desire to be with you the education is just a piece of the puzzle.

As you read the different signatures, many both males and females have flown to different parts of the world to meet that person typing emails with proclaimed love, many have run up their phone bills talking to someone in another country that seems so perfect ( I myself am guilty of that my ex was wonderful) many have married a alien with only visiting them once or spending less then a year with them. For me my ex would always say whatever problem we came across we'd deal with it. He stated he didn't want a divorce never. So me with my loving heart opened it up to him, and after 10-months of marriage, me signing for AOS and a 3-week old baby, it was him that left our dwelling place.

Had he not assured me that we'd work on our marriage if problems occured, I probably wouldn't of married him, but again if you love your man you trust him and his words.

Victor Obinna Jr. has not seen his father in over one year now.( Ogle does that sound like an Igbo man to you ? ) I know that God will deliver justice to him and everyone that had anything to do with his scam but in the meantime I have to do my part also, just as I did my part to get this man here.

Consider it harrassment or what ever you like but I will continue to openly tell the some of the signs that I experienced of my scammer and the end results as it unfolds. If it offends you simple don't reply. YOU will not stop me from posting.

Again some of the things that I experienced is :

1) My Nigerian ex-husband acting like he wants to break ties with the Nigerians that you both know

2) Starting arguments and division within the house

3)The alien spouse not communicating with you ( stays in the bathroom or someplace they can be alone)

4)Starts packing and leaving for a simple argument only to return within hours.

Argueing with you in front of people sepecially your family.

6) Challenging his step kids our the USC family not to fight but to bring division

7) Constantly taking from you without giving.

8) Telling your friends and family lies of how bad you treated them.

9) Trying to start an altacation

All this above and more can happen once the alien arrives if their intentions aren't to be with you.

You will begin to think that your spouse has a loose marble and still you will try to make it work, but if your spouse no longer wants to be with you they will cause division every occasion thry get

Some spoke of nagging, saying maybe I nagged him too much, let me tell you this, If this alien wants to leave the marriage there isn't much you could do once he's here and u have adjusted his statis.

You will know , some marriages will work and some won't, as Akinstacey brought the facts, with refercences it's the easiest and quickest way for an alien to get here and alot of cases they will come without any burdens because their fiance/spouse is looking out for them just as a good spouse should do.

Finally, u all have your own minds, you can call me whatever you wish. I have a handsome half nigerian first born son baby, my family and friends and alot of reasons to live. My conviction is to help others that have aliens coming and already here, look out for these signs, if your relationship is secure then this don't apply to you.

Oh one more thing, look out for the alien trying to report abuse on you ( saying that you hit them or worse) Aliens now have the VAWA act to try to gain residency on their own.

I will continue to post as I feel necessary and don't mind if anyone wantsto send me a personally message.

9)

2)

[BESANGIN 0]

THis is such a controversial issue. I hate with all my heart that it has to be an issue, but the truth of the matter it is. I want you all to know that just because my approach to telling my story is different than Idocare's in most ways I still feel the same way that she does. I personally believe that her EX was in it for the green card. Some things you just don't need a second side of the story to know. Would you want a pedophiles story as to why he was caught with a child? HELL NO! Especially if it was your child or a child you knew! You would be ready to KILL HIS A$$!! NO questions asked! You can turn on me and began to call me bitter too if you like, but a lot of you who are posting have relationships that are already in trouble and most don't see it. But I am not going to say that to any of you because the same way I was ready to kick some A$$ behind my man gettin' bashed by others is the same way you are ready to come to blows to defend yours, and like I did, you have every right to do so. You have every right to be in your relationship and explore it to its fullest, but my mission is to let you know that when and if it crashes and burn, you can survive it. It is not the end of the world and you can take the lessons and walk forward with your head held high. I was embarrassed for a long time and kept my situation silent for the longest time because I was embarrassed and ashamed that I was stupid enough to love a man like my EX. But I had to realize why should I feel embarrassed or ashamed for loving someone? I gave it freely and unconditionally. The shame to me is in how he received it. I do ask myself if I had spoken up sooner would it have made a difference? In some cases yes and in some NO. There was one here that I begged not to go through with bringing her SO here because she smelled a rat already, but she said " I just hope it works out when he gets home." I can tell you that her situation is now worse than mine. Mrs. Jibowu thank you for helping us to remember that this was Idocare's thread in the beginning, and her intent was clear in the beginning of the thread, and if it was going to strike nerves you never should have read, ESPECIALLY if you are sick of it and it has NOTHING to do with your relationship. Way before now you all know that she speaks the truth about her situation and always has been true to herself. I personally believe in getting more bees with honey, and I still fear that there is a LOT of healing left to do, but I know I have no right to try to silence her. #1 this is a message board and she is not slandered anyone. If she has.. CHA CHING, sue her and be done and be paid!!!! #2 The more of us who share our stories no matter if the style is abrasive, if just one can use it to keep from making our mistakes than all the spit, nasty words, and lexapro comments will be worth it in my opinion, because like I said before its a pain totally different than being hurt and broken by a citizen than a foreigner. Pain is pain you may say, and that is true, but believe me there are different degrees of it. And if you have not gone through this experience start to a devastating finish then there is no way you can know what and how we feel. Not just me and Idocare. A lot of you are convinced that a lot of the old VJ'ers don't come around because they are off living and making their marriages work, well let me be the first to say, and I am in touch and communicate with quite a few, and they are away because they have experienced what Idocare and I have. Some are doing well, but that number is so low, but my heart is ecstatic for them. I ENVY them. I would much rather be one telling you how hard but fantastic my marriage is with my husband and family, not hear begging you to be careful and watchful. So please let her tell her story. If its nothing to you that's wonderful, but there are those who are not blessed with your fortune who are hearing this, recognizing some things ain't Kohser, and getting themselves in a better situation because they now know that they are NOT THE ONLY ONES! If nothing else don't deny them that. IF you sick of hearing it, then bypass our posts, and know that we wish you nothing but a happy and successful marriage full of healthy babies!!!! IDOCARE if I made you feel like I wanted you silenced, I apologize. I only wanted you to see that your approach was doing the opposite of what you intended, but if that is you, then do you. Regardless someone will get what they need, and thank you for that. NOW, can we ALL JUST GET ALONG!!!!!?? NOW WHO GOT KNOCKED UP ON NEW YEAR'S?

[Ta Ta 1]

Well, we have to agree to disagree and for the first time since 2006 I will use my ignore button because this kind of stuff brings down the entire

forum.

Our lighthearted cultural discussions have gone downhill and people have stopped posting.

This is a family board of coming together not a divorce board.

The approach is nauseating and borders on TOS violation, it is a type of trollish behavior to derail threads, though I am convinced she is not doing it on purpose, her intent is honest but it DOES derail threads and it DOES keep enjoyment out of this forum.

Not saying she is a troll but am saying the posting style borders on derailing the topic of the threads, many threads. I suggested to keep it contained to certain threads and keep the mess out of the other threads. That was my suggestion to keep this forum alive.

Ce la vie !

[BESANGIN 0]

RIIIIIGHT!!!! Just consider your ignore button, your Staples Easy Button with a twist.!!!

[ogele 0]

"I detest what you say to me,but I will defend with my life your right to say it."- Voltaire

I am not given to frivolous discourses or rejoinders.I decide to break with this policy,this once,because a little baby is involved.Idocare,the most important thing is to make sure your ex-husband is paying child support for his child.Usually,Nigerians in such a situation are known to do so,and to take a keen and loving interest in their kids,even in a divorce.With regards to why he does not bother to see Obinna,only him knows,but it is strange.I have only heard of such a scenario when a break-up was so bitter that the father wanted nothing to do with the child if it meant coming in contact with the mother.No matter what,I refuse to judge your ex-husband based on a one sided allegation.This has nothing to do with the credibilty of your story,but has everything to do with your not knowing his own perception and experience of your relationship.

Secondly,I think that all reasonable people would uphold the right of all persons to speak their minds.No people know and accept this fact better than the Igbo.However,those who claim that you are being stopped from airing your opinions and story are being frugal with the truth.What some of us are saying is that the comments on visa scams and deportations be limited to the appropriate posts.In the past week,almost all of the current posts on this forum that were on topics very different from fraud and deportation had your posts calling for "the blood of scammers".While I share in your hurt,regardless of who was right or wrong in your past marriage,I do not appreciate being "ambushed" to read a topic I have no interest in,given the limited time I have in my day.The argument that you are being denied the right to post,begs the question.I think that what I and some others have said is that posts on visa fraud and deportations be limited to the appropriate thread.Freedom of seech is also synonymous with responsibilty.Whereas,Bensangin may have advised us to sue if we feel slandered,it clearly misses the point that people feel hassled when they are hoping to get information say,on how to get a police report in Ghana,only to watch an invaluable thread degenerate to a free for all fight.The only reason I responded to this thread is because you started it on a topic related to the posts,and I actually responding based on my irritation with seeing the same thing show up on every other thread.Nobody wants to order steak,only to be served chicken,if you get my analogy.Right now,I seem to be getting more pertinent immigration information from the Asian,European and MENA sections than here!!!

Third,and in general,I think that there is a crying need to truly evaluate each and evry person's relationship with their foreign spouses.Realistic and objective are the key words!It does not matter if people are madly in love with that foreigner they meet online,it does not matter what assurances that foreigner makes to you,each person has to make a clear headed assessment of their compatibilty and realistic expectations of the relationship and their spouses.Hear me people,telling of warning signs you experienced before a marriage packed up is like the proverbial locking the stable after the horse is halfway across the Sahara.This is not proactive knowledge,and thus serves very limited utility in assuring a happy,longlasting marriage,in my view.Besides,I still maintain the view that each relationship is unique and even when they are the same,the personality of one or both spouses may turn an otherwise redeemable situation into a complete fiasco.I will not judge the outcome of a marriage based on the evidence of one party.

Now,when you met your foreign spouse,did you compare his/her educational level with yours?In other words,do we have a rocket scientist marrying a high school drop out?If so,you need to re evaluate.While the story may be one of a genuine "we will work things out",certain differences are so fundamental that they may remain a perpetual source of conflict.Huge disparities in educational level is one.What are your core moral values versus those of your SO?Does he/you believe in strong family ties?How about his/her desire to visit home?To build a house in his village?Can you live with these?Are you a true admirer of african customs,or are you a "wannabe"/pretender because you have suddenly found yourself in a relationship with an African.Many out there haven't the foggiest idea about the pre-colonial,colonial,and contemporary history of their SO's country.I am not asking you to learn the language,just a little history that you can interact with his African friends.it will give you that feel good feeling and make him thump his chest with pride.It is part of that stuff you share in common.If you are engaged to an Igbo,do you understand the significance of the New Yam Festival to your Igbo spouse?At least I know about the Mayflower,the attack on Boston,the significance of Thanksgiving,Gettysburg,Bull Run,Shiloh and many other significant events in the life of America and Americans.I learned and continue to learn from a sincere passion to immerse myself in this culture,and I ain't even "scratching an American meow",as Bensangin would say.

There are many "insignificant" things to consider in evaluating your proposed union,even with your fellow American.Engaged to a fellow Nigerian,I considered the same things as listed above.The problem is that many Americans have been spoon fed to believe that Africans are so dirt poor that they will eat sputum to come here.Well folks,may I tell you that many of us,including your's sincerely,cannot wait for that day to return to Nigeria and dwell.Indeed,another member,Chinelo,mentioned the snide remarks her American husband would toss at her.While the Nigerian lady may be less prone to up and leave her man,the Nigerian man is not culturally wired to put up with a comment like that for so long.There is a phenomenon I term the Delayed Response which is a scenario where the Igbo suffers your belittling over a period without ever saying a word until,BOOM!It is all over.Keep your man or woman talkng to you,and listen.Either that or expect the Delayed Response!

Finally,I reiterate that it is flawed and discourteous for anyone to scare others at every opportunity no matter how well meaning.People need to be aware of potential scams,true.But it is also their right to not be confonted with scary news in each post.Each post has to be thread appropriate,kinda like,PG 13 means PG13,and not PG18.It also helps the rest of us to exchange views and ideas on equally important immigration and cultural issues rather than becoming embroiled in fisticuffs!

Idocare:Please give Obinna a big HUG on my behalf!

[xoxo 0]

Hi,

I agree with all this and it's something to really think about, How do u really know when it comes to investigating the person pretends to be in love and there are no signs in the beginning im sure. Has any one heard stories of african men in particular who do this to nigerian women who are us citizens? i'm just curious i'm sure it has happened, but I take those to be more of a deal arrangement. Idocare my eyes are open..Jamaicans do this as a business but it s mostly aliens who are already here illegally in the u.s.