Does this buh anyone else?

[jordanianprincess 0]

I'd just like to add...I know that sometimes people on VJ post things that are directly related to their own lives and feel like they are being attacked or ridiculed with the answers they get (not directed at sarah or anyone else) but in light of that, we are all in similar sitiuations and some of us may not be brave enough to post the question. With that said, I think most of these things turn into general discussions and debates about the issue that is described in the original post not having anything to do with the person who posted.

Does that make sense?

[sarah and hicham 3]

Uhh I don't know that I understand. Could you be more specific? I don't feel like I was rediculed with answers to my question/complaint but maybe that's not what you are saying. I think some people take things too personally on here sometimes, or maybe some are more sensitive than others. I like to read what people have to say even if I don't agree, or if I feel like I have been misunderstood. I hope I didn't get defensive because I really do like reading everyone's posts.

Sarah

[jordanianprincess 0]

In my original post I said that my comment was not directed at anyone at all. It was just a general observation I have made from many different topics on VJ and was not about this one, or directed at you.

All I meant was that we all share the same fears, problems, worries, challenges, etc. When someone is brave enough to post their feelings on a topic, it usually turns into a general debate regarding our experciances and views.

I did not say anyone ridiculed you or took shots at you, but I have seen it happen on other threads or that is what the person believed happened.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Ok, I gotcha! I agree that most posts turn into personal shots but oh well what can you do? Some people are just angry. I just ignore it or laugh because it's amusing. I pretty much expect any post to turn into something way off track in the end at this point.

Sarah

[jordanianprincess 0]

Ok, I gotcha! I agree that most posts turn into personal shots but oh well what can you do? Some people are just angry. I just ignore it or laugh because it's amusing. I pretty much expect any post to turn into something way off track in the end at this point.

Sarah

I'm so glad you understood what I was trying to say I am always misunderstood.

[kerewin21 2]

I didn't get annoyed about all the arabic when I was at my husband's family's house, because his mother and sister-in-law don't speak any french, and his brothers only speak limited french. I did initially get annoyed when we'd be out with his friends who did speak french and they would be speaking in arabic around me, but then I realized a large part of it has to do with the culture. In Morocco, the guys hang out with the guys in cafes, the women hang out with other women at home. I didn't really fit into that situation. I was there in the cafe, but if I was with my husband and some of his buddies, they would revert to being "the guys" and chat in Arabic. It still bugs me sometimes, but I've accepted it as part of who he is and his culture, and that's not going to change.

As for the uncle not greeting you, that is very common, and it's a cultural thing more than a rudeness thing, as others have said. There's kind of the mens' zone and the womens' zone, and as Western women we're in a strange position. My experience has been that we don't quite fit in with the women, and we certainly don't fit in with the men, so some people aren't quite sure how to treat us. If you read the book "Culture Shock Morocco" he talks about some of this stuff, it may make you feel better.

When I was in Senegal I remember we went to this village in the middle of the desert. It was noon, it was something like 110 degrees out, and we went into someone's house. They passed around water, but they only gave it to the men! They skipped right over me, like I wasn't even there. I was SO mad, but that's really just the way they think in that culture. I think Senegal is more extreme in that regard than Morocco, but there are some similarities. The men interact with the men and women are sometimes just invisible.

As for learning Arabic: I am fluent in 3 languages other than English, and Arabic completely confounds me. It is very frustrating, especially the Moroccan dialect. It's really difficult to wrap your mouth around the words if you weren't brought up speakign the language. So yes, we should certainly make an effort to learn it, but it's not easy!

[iceyspots 0]

I understand what some of my family members talk about.. unless they are speaking kaybile. does not bother me at all, they are wonderful.. but.. the same thing can happen to him, if he didnt speak english and your family normally speaks english, he would feel uncomfortable as well around them, wondering if they are talking about him

[kerewin21 2]

I understand what some of my family members talk about.. unless they are speaking kaybile. does not bother me at all, they are wonderful.. but.. the same thing can happen to him, if he didnt speak english and your family normally speaks english, he would feel uncomfortable as well around them, wondering if they are talking about him

OK, iceyspots, I googled kaybile and came up with one match to a french page that, in combination with the context of your post, leads me to believe kaybile is an amazigh language? Am I right? I'm very curious.

[Aymerlu 3]

It didn't really bother me at all when I was in Egypt and everyone was talking arabic. I would sit there and TRY to figure out what everyone was saying. Then sometimes I would just get tickled and start giggling because I had no idea what anyone was saying. Everyone would laugh. Most of his friend speak a little english so I was able to carry on small conversations with them. I have tried to brush up on my arabic, but I think it's a lost cause. Everyone says I speak arabic like a baby!

[iceyspots 0]

I was uncomfortable around family and friends when they spoke Arabic and I didn't understand. I don't think they did it to be rude. We tired to communicate, but they spoke little English and I spoke no Arabic. I had my ex teach me some words before I went to Egypt, but simple things like hello and thank you.

One of the sweetest things that happened to me when I was in Egypt was my ex-husband's 6-year old nephew tried to teach me to count. He sat in front of me, would hold up his finger(s) say one in English and then Arabic. He would clap when I got it right and shake his head when it was wrong. He was a great teacher.

I think you should let them know it bothers you, but don't make a big deal. When you are there, just start a conversation in French or inquire what they are saying in French.

lol... Wahid... ithnan.. theletha...3arba...khamseh... sita...sabah...themania...tisa3...ashra

I understand what some of my family members talk about.. unless they are speaking kaybile. does not bother me at all, they are wonderful.. but.. the same thing can happen to him, if he didnt speak english and your family normally speaks english, he would feel uncomfortable as well around them, wondering if they are talking about him

OK, iceyspots, I googled kaybile and came up with one match to a french page that, in combination with the context of your post, leads me to believe kaybile is an amazigh language? Am I right? I'm very curious.

Something like that... This might clairify it...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berber

So yeah, technically, Yacine and his family are not arab. The arabs took over Algeria.

I'd just like to add...I know that sometimes people on VJ post things that are directly related to their own lives and feel like they are being attacked or ridiculed with the answers they get (not directed at sarah or anyone else) but in light of that, we are all in similar sitiuations and some of us may not be brave enough to post the question. With that said, I think most of these things turn into general discussions and debates about the issue that is described in the original post not having anything to do with the person who posted.

Does that make sense?

This should be a disclaimer......lol

[kerewin21 2]

OK, iceyspots, I googled kaybile and came up with one match to a french page that, in combination with the context of your post, leads me to believe kaybile is an amazigh language? Am I right? I'm very curious.

Something like that... This might clairify it...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berber

So yeah, technically, Yacine and his family are not arab. The arabs took over Algeria.

My husband is Berber too, his language is called Tamazight. Some of his cousins in the country don't even speak any Arabic. I think it's really cool in Morocco (don't know if it's the same in Algeria) that the people of Arab descent and the people of Berber descent really seem to not have any problems with each other. There are some problems with the Arabs trying to prevent teaching the Berber languages in school and forbidding Berber names, but for some reason it doesn't seem to cause much strife.