Marrying young vs. the rest of VJ.

[no name 1]

The best thing about getting married when you are older is no one asks about the kids - they are just happy you finally settled down!

Edited December 20, 2007 by devilette

[sarahaziz 0]

I'm 20 and my personal belief comes from an arab perspective and background if you and your spouse were pure before marriage and didnt have other relationships before each other and married out of true love its going to last forever. My grandparents are foreign of course they stay together but American grandparents who are in their 70's they usually stayed together because they were all high school/ college sweet hearts. My husband said no man can accept another kid from another man and his wife. He can learn to love the kid but it wont be the same as his own. Also your wife or husband having ties with another beofre you you'll just think about them being together its like a used car nobody treasures or respects an old car like a new one. probably not the best simile but its so true. I personally feel that. Theres a certain level of respect thats shared if you've experienced everything together vs you already been divorced married again kids, etc etc.. But everyone is ENTITLED TO LOVE! no matter what their past holds everyone has their life.

[mtracksport 0]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT?????? WHEN I FIRST GOT MARRIED QUITE A FEW YEARS AGO WE WERE 19 AT THE TIME.IT LASTED OVER 30 YEARS AND THEN IT GOT THE SCOURGE OF ALL MEN (MENOPAUSE) I COULD DO NO RIGHT/// FINALLY ENDED IN DIVORCE. (NOT WANTED ON MY PART) BUT LAST FEW YEARS WERE UNBEARABLE TO SAY THE LEAST. DAMN NEAR WENT NUTS. THEN I FOUND MARIA NEVER THOUGHT TO ASK HER AGE. ENDED UP HAVING A SON IN 2000 AND A DAUGHTER IN 2004. DIVORCE WAS FINALLY SETTLED IN SPRING 2006 AFTER A LOT OF MONEY PASSED THROUGH THE ATTORNEYS HANDS BECAUSE WE COULD NOT AGREE ON FINAL SETTLEMENT. (AND EX FOUND OUT ABOUT MARIA.) WE HAD BEEN LEGALLY SEPERATED SINCE 1999 SO WHAT DID IT MATTER?? FINALLY MARRIED IN 2006 AND STARTED TO ENJOY LIFE AGAIN. ON THE DAY WE WERE MARRIED I HAPPENED TO LOOK AT THE MARRIAGE LICENSE AND SAW HER BIRTH DATE . I ALMOST HAD A STROKE. SHE IS 30 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME . AS THE LAST 1- 1/2 YR HAS PASSED I HAVE REALIZED THAT AGE REALLY DOES NOT MATTER. WHEN SOMBODY ASKS US WHEN WE ARE GOING TO HAVE MORE CHILDREN I LAUGH AND REFER THEM TO MARIA. IT DOESN'T MAKE ME MAD IT FLATTERS ME. FRIENDS ASK ME AT THE GYM HOW IT IS MARRIED TO A YOUNGER WOMEN (SHE'S 26 AND I'M 56) AND I POLITELY SAY THAT BY THE TIME SHE HITS MENOPAUSE I WILL BE DEAD YOU YOUNG ONES DON'T LET QUESTION LIKE THAT BOTHER YOU . PEOPLE ARE JUST JEALOUS.

[~Chad~ 0]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT?????? WHEN I FIRST GOT MARRIED QUITE A FEW YEARS AGO WE WERE 19 AT THE TIME.IT LASTED OVER 30 YEARS AND THEN IT GOT THE SCOURGE OF ALL MEN (MENOPAUSE) I COULD DO NO RIGHT/// FINALLY ENDED IN DIVORCE. (NOT WANTED ON MY PART) BUT LAST FEW YEARS WERE UNBEARABLE TO SAY THE LEAST. DAMN NEAR WENT NUTS. THEN I FOUND MARIA NEVER THOUGHT TO ASK HER AGE. ENDED UP HAVING A SON IN 2000 AND A DAUGHTER IN 2004. DIVORCE WAS FINALLY SETTLED IN SPRING 2006 AFTER A LOT OF MONEY PASSED THROUGH THE ATTORNEYS HANDS BECAUSE WE COULD NOT AGREE ON FINAL SETTLEMENT. (AND EX FOUND OUT ABOUT MARIA.) WE HAD BEEN LEGALLY SEPERATED SINCE 1999 SO WHAT DID IT MATTER?? FINALLY MARRIED IN 2006 AND STARTED TO ENJOY LIFE AGAIN. ON THE DAY WE WERE MARRIED I HAPPENED TO LOOK AT THE MARRIAGE LICENSE AND SAW HER BIRTH DATE . I ALMOST HAD A STROKE. SHE IS 30 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME . AS THE LAST 1- 1/2 YR HAS PASSED I HAVE REALIZED THAT AGE REALLY DOES NOT MATTER. WHEN SOMBODY ASKS US WHEN WE ARE GOING TO HAVE MORE CHILDREN I LAUGH AND REFER THEM TO MARIA. IT DOESN'T MAKE ME MAD IT FLATTERS ME. FRIENDS ASK ME AT THE GYM HOW IT IS MARRIED TO A YOUNGER WOMEN (SHE'S 26 AND I'M 56) AND I POLITELY SAY THAT BY THE TIME SHE HITS MENOPAUSE I WILL BE DEAD YOU YOUNG ONES DON'T LET QUESTION LIKE THAT BOTHER YOU . PEOPLE ARE JUST JEALOUS.

:lol:

[Cassie 8]

I honestly question people getting married before they are 20. Out of all that I have seen, only one couple (she was 19, he was 23) that have lasted, and that was because she was extremely mature and has a good dose of common sense. IMHO, people need a bit of life experience first before getting married.

[Alex+R 0]

The best reason to get married young is that nobody asks you when the babies are coming.

Why not?

Well, I take it back. We got that question at Christmas several times.

eta: shoutout to Sarahaziz up there for possibly saying the rudest thing ever on VJ and totes getting away with it. (Ya hear that? You've got kids already? No man will ever accept them. And also, you're a used car.)

Edited December 27, 2007 by Alex+R

[Scott & Lai 12]

I honestly question people getting married before they are 20. Out of all that I have seen, only one couple (she was 19, he was 23) that have lasted, and that was because she was extremely mature and has a good dose of common sense. IMHO, people need a bit of life experience first before getting married.

My sister married at 19 (my brother-in-law was 28, though). They've been married 28 years now

[~Chad~ 0]

I honestly question people getting married before they are 20. Out of all that I have seen, only one couple (she was 19, he was 23) that have lasted, and that was because she was extremely mature and has a good dose of common sense. IMHO, people need a bit of life experience first before getting married.

My sister married at 19 (my brother-in-law was 28, though). They've been married 28 years now

I'm 9 years older than Lira, my dad is 10 years older than my mom

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I honestly question people getting married before they are 20. Out of all that I have seen, only one couple (she was 19, he was 23) that have lasted, and that was because she was extremely mature and has a good dose of common sense. IMHO, people need a bit of life experience first before getting married.

I agree....although age, experience and even living together for awhile have not shown to help reduce divorce rates. I'm not even sure that divorce is an accurate measurement for unsuccessful marriages, because there's a lot of miserably married couples out there.

[Marilyn. 340]

my hubby was 23 when he got married to me... my hubby was a lot more mature then most guys his age though...

[almaty 19]

Nothing wrong about marrying young, as long as you are mature...and are mature about the commitment of marriage.

Saludos,

Caro

i agree with sister caro...

age is not the variable here..but the maturity level for both parties

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

The best reason to get married young is that nobody asks you when the babies are coming.

Why not?

Well, I take it back. We got that question at Christmas several times.

eta: shoutout to Sarahaziz up there for possibly saying the rudest thing ever on VJ and totes getting away with it. (Ya hear that? You've got kids already? No man will ever accept them. And also, you're a used car.)

I didn't find it very rude. I honestly prefer that new car smell to..........................I had to delete what I originally typed. It was far to disturbing.

[snowfrostedlashes 0]

Personally I think it's a mistake to get married before you have some time to know yourself as an adult independant of your parents... but that doesn't mean it can't work out.

I got married a month before my 19th birthday to my childhood sweetheart... we were both virgins before we got together and had never had any other serious relationships. For us it was a bad experience and we ended up deeply unhappy and got divorced.

I also got plagued with 'when are you having a baby?' queries and never did have children with my first husband due to circumstance. I actually found the question very upsetting after a while because I desperately wanted to be a mother despite our problems... although of course now I am relieved that we didn't try for a baby.

I'm still young enough (29) to hope to have a baby with Mark after we get married, so fingers crossed.

I think that some people look at relationships quite cynically because a lot do fall by the wayside, but you shouldn't let the opinions of others make you feel uncomfortable or negative about your own circumstances. Love is a rare and special thing and nobody has the right to belittle how you feel in your hearts just because you happen to be young.

Good luck and take each day for the gift that it is!

~ Hannah

[almaty 19]

I honestly question people getting married before they are 20. Out of all that I have seen, only one couple (she was 19, he was 23) that have lasted, and that was because she was extremely mature and has a good dose of common sense. IMHO, people need a bit of life experience first before getting married.

My sister married at 19 (my brother-in-law was 28, though). They've been married 28 years now

I'm 9 years older than Lira, my dad is 10 years older than my mom

i am 7 years older than sanita..and she is more mature than me..i still a punk chopf##k at heart

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Also your wife or husband having ties with another beofre you you'll just think about them being together its like a used car nobody treasures or respects an old car like a new one. probably not the best simile but its so true.

Well, I would be very angry if another jerk crashed into my 94 Volvo. I love that car. It is awesome. A car with 265562 miles on it you have to love just for being alive so long and in such excellent condition. Seen a lot. Has character. Still runs. It would be a real shame to have to junk such a great piece of machinery before its time. I know you probably don't get it, living in a world where the only things worth treasuring are new and unused. Sounds fairly wasteful and lacking in perspective.

Both my husband and I had other relationships prior to marriage. To be honest, it doesn't bother me and is pretty reassuring. Being with other people offers some perspective, lets you have a better idea of what you want in a person and from your relationship ultimately. My husband and I certainly don't see each other as abused and neglected beatermobiles. Rather refined and matured individuals who know what we want and know when we have found it.

Edited December 27, 2007 by Wacken