Marrying young vs. the rest of VJ.

[JODO 2]

If people can be 50 and 22 and marry, then why not 18 and 18? To each his or her own and good luck.

[Fandango 1,439]

I've got it too... not from anyone on VJ though. I'm 24, he's 27, we're newlyweds. We're happy - who cares what other people think? We've been through so much to get here (like everyone here has) that it's made us stronger anyway.

I don't let the age comments bother me. What bothers me is the "so when are you guys going to have a baby??" comments from family - give us some time, we've been apart for so long and right now we're just enjoying being together! We still have quite a few years left to have a baby or not, lol.

I've noticed in life peeps like to rush ya thru your life.

When you're dating, it's all 'when ya gettin engaged?'

when you're engaged, it's all 'when ya gettin married?'

When you're married, it's 'when ya havin a baby?'

At least that's my experience

[JODO 2]

I've got it too... not from anyone on VJ though. I'm 24, he's 27, we're newlyweds. We're happy - who cares what other people think? We've been through so much to get here (like everyone here has) that it's made us stronger anyway.

I don't let the age comments bother me. What bothers me is the "so when are you guys going to have a baby??" comments from family - give us some time, we've been apart for so long and right now we're just enjoying being together! We still have quite a few years left to have a baby or not, lol.

I've noticed in life peeps like to rush ya thru your life.

When you're dating, it's all 'when ya gettin engaged?'

when you're engaged, it's all 'when ya gettin married?'

When you're married, it's 'when ya havin a baby?'

At least that's my experience

So true Lisa. We are getting that right now about a baby .

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

I've got it too... not from anyone on VJ though. I'm 24, he's 27, we're newlyweds. We're happy - who cares what other people think? We've been through so much to get here (like everyone here has) that it's made us stronger anyway.

I don't let the age comments bother me. What bothers me is the "so when are you guys going to have a baby??" comments from family - give us some time, we've been apart for so long and right now we're just enjoying being together! We still have quite a few years left to have a baby or not, lol.

I've noticed in life peeps like to rush ya thru your life.

When you're dating, it's all 'when ya gettin engaged?'

when you're engaged, it's all 'when ya gettin married?'

When you're married, it's 'when ya havin a baby?'

At least that's my experience

So true Lisa. We are getting that right now about a baby .

wow, what a pain in the ###...we are planning on getting married this spring and do not intend on having a baby for another 5 years...cant wait to hear what my family has to say about that...oy vey

btw im 23 and my fiance is 24...i dont catch flack about it on vj, but you can bet that i hear about it all the time from people in my personal life...could ya just shut the F up!!!!!!

[Madame-Butterfly 0]

I guess I find it amusing that there is some negativity from VJers regarding those of us who choose to marry young.

Yeah; I was twenty-one, he was twenty-two. Yet we've known each other (in person), lived together, etc., for far longer than so many of the older VJer couples.

So why is it okay for certain VJers to make remarks about the *age* of certain couples, whereas pointing out that "hey, you've only met each other twice in person" or "hey, that person proposed to you over the internetz!!!!11" would seem..taboo?

I was 20 when we got married, he was 22. We'd known each other about a year. It was right, we did what we wanted. My happiness is important, idiots and their comments are not.

And I've never gotten any negativity on VJ about it?

I was 21 he was 22 i never got any negativity either plus we never saw each other untill 3 days before we got married !!!!!

so dont worrie if you feel good with the choce you made thats fine, dont worrie about what other say, they dont live with you and wount do anythign for you and your relationship

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

I've got it too... not from anyone on VJ though. I'm 24, he's 27, we're newlyweds. We're happy - who cares what other people think? We've been through so much to get here (like everyone here has) that it's made us stronger anyway.

I don't let the age comments bother me. What bothers me is the "so when are you guys going to have a baby??" comments from family - give us some time, we've been apart for so long and right now we're just enjoying being together! We still have quite a few years left to have a baby or not, lol.

I've noticed in life peeps like to rush ya thru your life.

When you're dating, it's all 'when ya gettin engaged?'

when you're engaged, it's all 'when ya gettin married?'

When you're married, it's 'when ya havin a baby?'

At least that's my experience

I used to catch the engagement ####### about my ex all the time. The problem was, they were asking "when are you going to ask her to marry you?" right in front of her at a time when I was really questioning why I was with her. I was with her for 6 years and the longer we were together, the more I caught that ####### and the more I felt trapped in the relationship.

There were cheating and abortion issues that I couldn't get past.

[nin 1]

Some people have kids "too " young, some marry "too" young, some have too mig of an age difference "cradle robber!", some wait too long to have kids "what are they thinking!", some don't WANT kids "that is unnatural!" and some don't want a relationship at all "I hope he/she doesn't procreate and spread their genes, we don't want more people like THAT".

People assume so much. If you don't follow the pattern/time line those particular people think of as "normal" you'll have questions from rude people. You'll also have questions (sometimes the same) from people who are just trying to make small talk and just come off wrong, stepping on your soar foot or whatever. I'm sure we've all done things like that so why let it get to you?

[*JG* 2]

Age is not important IMO.....young, old, age differences.....what does it really matter? Maturity level, values, morals.....important to me. The rest....rubbish!

[athena_ny 1]

I've got it too... not from anyone on VJ though. I'm 24, he's 27, we're newlyweds. We're happy - who cares what other people think? We've been through so much to get here (like everyone here has) that it's made us stronger anyway.

I don't let the age comments bother me. What bothers me is the "so when are you guys going to have a baby??" comments from family - give us some time, we've been apart for so long and right now we're just enjoying being together! We still have quite a few years left to have a baby or not, lol.

I've noticed in life peeps like to rush ya thru your life.

When you're dating, it's all 'when ya gettin engaged?'

when you're engaged, it's all 'when ya gettin married?'

When you're married, it's 'when ya havin a baby?'

At least that's my experience

Last week I was visiting some friends who had just given birth 2 hours before (well, the woman had ). A lot of people were coming with gifts, well two guys walked in that were friends of the husband, and one says, "When are you having another?"

2 hours out of delivery.

Yup.

I've got it too... not from anyone on VJ though. I'm 24, he's 27, we're newlyweds. We're happy - who cares what other people think? We've been through so much to get here (like everyone here has) that it's made us stronger anyway.

I don't let the age comments bother me. What bothers me is the "so when are you guys going to have a baby??" comments from family - give us some time, we've been apart for so long and right now we're just enjoying being together! We still have quite a few years left to have a baby or not, lol.

I've noticed in life peeps like to rush ya thru your life.

When you're dating, it's all 'when ya gettin engaged?'

when you're engaged, it's all 'when ya gettin married?'

When you're married, it's 'when ya havin a baby?'

At least that's my experience

So true Lisa. We are getting that right now about a baby .

wow, what a pain in the ###...we are planning on getting married this spring and do not intend on having a baby for another 5 years...cant wait to hear what my family has to say about that...oy vey

btw im 23 and my fiance is 24...i dont catch flack about it on vj, but you can bet that i hear about it all the time from people in my personal life...could ya just shut the F up!!!!!!

We don't plan on having babies for probably another 8 or 9 years. And I've already been listening to it for a year!

[Amby 490]

I'm young and I haven't had any problems with VJ people being judgemental. Neil and I married when I was 22 and he was 28. I'm now 23 and he is 29. I don't see a problem with marrying young if it's right.

[JandC 0]

Age is not important IMO.....young, old, age differences.....what does it really matter? Maturity level, values, morals.....important to me. The rest....rubbish!

Now thats talking sense!

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

There were cheating and abortion issues that I couldn't get past.

[Emancipation 2]

Well.. there's no excuse for being a jerk..

but I think some of us (myself included) got married very young (ie. before we really found ourselves in this world) and have lived to regret it. Perhaps that's where some of the backlash comes from.. Lessons learned in life.. I dunno.. just because my 1st marriage didn't work because of my choice in partners though, doesn't mean I would give it to another married couple who was young.. that doesn't make sence.

Would I caution the teens I know against marrying young?? - absolutely! But it's a very personal decision that you make and IMO no one should be judging you because you fell in love...

[athena_ny 1]

Well.. there's no excuse for being a jerk..

but I think some of us (myself included) got married very young (ie. before we really found ourselves in this world) and have lived to regret it. Perhaps that's where some of the backlash comes from.. Lessons learned in life.. I dunno.. just because my 1st marriage didn't work because of my choice in partners though, doesn't mean I would give it to another married couple who was young.. that doesn't make sence.

Would I caution the teens I know against marrying young?? - absolutely! But it's a very personal decision that you make and IMO no one should be judging you because you fell in love...

I was only 20 when I married but I'm old for my age

All the negativity I got was from people in my hometown, et cetera. In NY, no one I know has gotten married ... but out of my friends/acquaintances in Florida...a lot are married.

A lot of the views toward it depend on geographic location and culture, as well.

[Peikko 1,575]

People seem to like to judge other'scircumstances. I guess somehow it validates their own or something. I don't get it, but there you go. With everything age difference can be a problem, but it doesn't have to be because there are so many other contributory factors.

Essentially, if your happy, stick with it and don't let the negativity of others bother you one jot.