VSC, the 'C' stands for cluster$@%

[virgillionaire 0]

Excerpt from the VSC supervisors field manual:

Start with a cage containing five monkeys (adjudicators). Inside the cage, hang a banana (petition) on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey (adjudicator) will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana (petition). As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys (adjudicators) with cold water.

After a while, another monkey (adjudicator) makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys (adjudicators) are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey (adjudicator) tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys (adjudicators) will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey (adjudicator) from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey (adjudicator) sees the banana (petition) and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys (adjudicators) attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys (adjudicators) and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey (adjudicator) with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey (adjudicator) takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys (adjudicators) that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey (adjudicator).

After replacing all the original monkeys (adjudicators), none of the remaining monkeys (adjudicators) have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana (petition). Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

And that, my friends, is how VSC policy begins.

[sofia2009 1]

Excerpt from the VSC supervisors field manual:

Start with a cage containing five monkeys (adjudicators). Inside the cage, hang a banana (petition) on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey (adjudicator) will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana (petition). As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys (adjudicators) with cold water.

After a while, another monkey (adjudicator) makes an attempt with the same result all the other monkeys (adjudicators) are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey (adjudicator) tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys (adjudicators) will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey (adjudicator) from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey (adjudicator) sees the banana (petition) and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys (adjudicators) attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys (adjudicators) and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey (adjudicator) with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey (adjudicator) takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys (adjudicators) that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey (adjudicator).

After replacing all the original monkeys (adjudicators), none of the remaining monkeys (adjudicators) have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana (petition). Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

And that, my friends, is how VSC policy begins.

The solution is, replace the monkeys with Hippopotamus

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

Who wants to go egg and toilet paper VSC?

[mnieto 2]

my favorite thread is alive again....

[ric 0]

Who wants to go egg and toilet paper VSC?

Oh man. And it'd probably freeze in seconds and it'd be there until SUMMER. OH. Win!

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

I say we surround the place with flaming bags of dog ####### while we're at it.

[OsLoraTamm 0]

I say we surround the place with flaming bags of dog ####### while we're at it.

I am thinking dog ####### is just too good to use............I am on my way to see Oscar in Peru for the first time in 8 months....see you guys

[mnieto 2]

I say we surround the place with flaming bags of dog ####### while we're at it.

I am thinking dog ####### is just too good to use............I am on my way to see Oscar in Peru for the first time in 8 months....see you guys

Take care Lora...have fun!

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

I say we surround the place with flaming bags of dog ####### while we're at it.

I am thinking dog ####### is just too good to use............I am on my way to see Oscar in Peru for the first time in 8 months....see you guys

Awww. Have fun, Lora. Try not to wear yourselves out.

[virgillionaire 0]

I say we surround the place with flaming bags of dog ####### while we're at it.

Then they'd be the Very Stepping in ####### office!

[ric 0]

I say we surround the place with flaming bags of dog ####### while we're at it.

I am thinking dog ####### is just too good to use............I am on my way to see Oscar in Peru for the first time in 8 months....see you guys

Lora! We'll miss you. Have a lovely trip and a safe flight. We'll see you when you get back (with good news we hope!!!)

[virgillionaire 0]

I say we surround the place with flaming bags of dog ####### while we're at it.

Then they'd be the Very Stepping in ####### office!

And when they go back inside they'd be the Very Smelly Center.

Or the Very Shitty Center, but they don't need dog ####### for that to be true!

[virgillionaire 0]

VSC Employee Appraisal Sheet / Broken Down by Which Month Files They Are Processing

This form indicates employee performance.

Knowledge

[O ] The son of a b1tch really knows his stuff - (processing October)

[s ] Knows just enough to be dangerous - (processing September)

[A ] Only half a brain and is dangerous - (processing August)

[J ] Fuckin brain damaged, his coffee cup has a higher IQ - (processing june and july)

Accuracy

[O ] Does excellent work if not preoccupied with own reflection - (processing october)

[s ] Pretty good, only occasionally blows it out his a$$ - (processing september)

[A ] Has to take off his shoes to count to ten - (processing august)

[J ] Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice - (processing june and july)

Attitude

[ ] Extremely cooperative if you kiss his a$$ frequently - (director)

[ ] Brown nose in good standing - (everyone else)

[ ] Often pisses off co-workers, thinks it's his shop - (adjudicator)

[ ] Doesn't give a #######, never did and never will - (customer service)

Reliability

[O ] A really dependable little sucker - (processing october)

[s ] You can rely on him at evaluation time - (processing september)

[A ] Can rely on him to be the first one out the fuckin door - (processing august)

[J] Totally fuckin useless/worthless - (processing june and july)

Appearance

[O ] Extremely neat, even combs his hair - (processing october)

[s ] Looks great at evaluation time - (processing september)

[A ] Flies abandon fresh dog ####### to follow him around - (processing august)

[J ] Dirty, filthy, dirty son of a b1tch - (processing jume and july)

Performance

[O ] Works like a son of a b1tch, if there's money in it for him - (processing october)

[s ] Does all kinds of good ####### at evaluation time - (processing september)

[A ] Works only if kicked in the a$$ every 2 minutes - (processing august)

[J ] Couldn't do less work if he were in a fuckin coma - (processing june and july)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Mags 112]

I've visited this thread before to warn you all about certain things and I'm afraid that I'm doing so again. Encouraging vandalism/lawbreaking against anything (in this case the VSC), regardless of its "jokey" nature is against the TOS.

This is the last warning for this thread. Please cool down a bit guys or I will be forced to lock it. Vent all you want but keep it clean. Thanks.

[virgillionaire 0]

I've visited this thread before to warn you all about certain things and I'm afraid that I'm doing so again. Encouraging vandalism/lawbreaking against anything (in this case the VSC), regardless of its "jokey" nature is against the TOS.

This is the last warning for this thread. Please cool down a bit guys or I will be forced to lock it. Vent all you want but keep it clean. Thanks.

party POOPer