Dear Joyce

[scandal 951]

Every day I am reminded why I married an un-liberated Ukrainian woman. You are the reminder for today. Thanks.

Goodness! I suggest gin.

Love,

Joyce

Terrific advice!

Doubt he'll take it though.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Every day I am reminded why I married an un-liberated Ukrainian woman. You are the reminder for today. Thanks.

Goodness! I suggest gin.

Love,

Joyce

Terrific advice!

Doubt he'll take it though.

Gin brings out the best in everyone! Well, with one possible exception. For a short period, I dated a very unusual character, Arturo Spleen. He was very talented with the tambourine and had excellent fashion sense (he was one of the few guys I knew who could carry off wearing a tube top!!), but with just a little bit of gin--say, 8 oz.--he would go crazy and moon my elder family members! And the weirdest thing was, he'd go get a Brazilian wax* after the mooning! He said it was because my great aunt Esther would always give him a disapproving look following the mooning, and it made him self-conscious!

If your name isn't Arturo Spleen, I say, treat yourself to a G&T right now!

Love,

Joyce

* This was before the Brazilian wax, as we know it today, became popular in North America. Back then, we just called it a Foxy Waxy Gutman. It was a great way to use the extra Hanukkah candles!

Edited December 19, 2009 by Empress of Groovy

[MrsCat 6]

^

[Chris_Жанна 11]

Joyce!

Where have you been all my life?

Your views on life, love, gin, and cool whip are sage, beyond your years. You are truly a remarkable, stylish, woman Joyce!

My question is, My fiancee doesn't like to wear pantsuits! I find them to be the pinnacle of femininity!(and how). How do I "drop the hint" to her that I'm gaga for pantsuits?

Also, can creme of mushroom soup be substituted with cool whip in a green bean casserole?

Yours Truly,

Mr. Pantsuit dilemma

[scandal 951]

* This was before the Brazilian wax, as we know it today, became popular in North America. Back then, we just called it a Foxy Waxy Gutman. It was a great way to use the extra Hanukkah candles!

Normally I'm able to use all 44 in the box.

Last year though I missed the 3rd night, leaving me with 4 spares. I think that might be enough to wax my eyebrows. Maybe my ear-hairs too.

[Nagishkaw 510]

0mgosh, that was too funny!

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

Every day I am reminded why I married an un-liberated Ukrainian woman. You are the reminder for today. Thanks.

Goodness! I suggest gin.

Love,

Joyce

Ah, yes. VJ's resident bitter, male harpy. Reminding me daily why crotchety old men are best left to babushkas with low standards.

Me thinks he needs far more than gin.

Edited December 20, 2009 by Der Bücherwurm

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Dear Joyce, When will you start slammin the punks that BEG? I'm gettin very tired of payin theyre way!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Joyce!

Where have you been all my life?

Your views on life, love, gin, and cool whip are sage, beyond your years. You are truly a remarkable, stylish, woman Joyce!

My question is, My fiancee doesn't like to wear pantsuits! I find them to be the pinnacle of femininity!(and how). How do I "drop the hint" to her that I'm gaga for pantsuits?

Also, can creme of mushroom soup be substituted with cool whip in a green bean casserole?

Yours Truly,

Mr. Pantsuit dilemma

Dear Mr. Pantsuit dilemma:

Thanks for writing and for such kind words! I have a surprising number of people ask me just this question! It's like people think flattering polyester pantsuits in autumn colors went out of style or something! Goodness!

I have discovered that the world is divided into two groups: Those who like pantsuits, and those who prefer jumpsuits. Me, I embrace them both (You know me...the renegade with unpredictable style!), but I understand that there are times when you'd rather have the freedom of the jumpsuit. I think they're equally flattering. My good friend Becky "I'd rather be six feet under than use a Pampered Chef food chopper" Stiltwhether-Bohippenzee-Smith says that she favors the jumpsuit because her six-inch-high loop belt doubles as a fondue fork holder. She is very good with a sewing machine, and she added six mini-loops so that she has twelve forks at the ready anytime! It would be difficult to incorporate that design into a pantsuit, even one with very large belt loops. So, how about buying your fiancee a beautiful jumpsuit for Christmas? (If you add a few fondue forks, imagine the romance that will ensue!)

I think they're all gorgeous. The challenge is, which one do you pick?

Regarding Cool Whip and the green bean casserole--goodness! As you know, I love adventurous substitutions! I say, go for it! Just make sure you ease up on the crispy dried onion topping! You don't want fake oniony goodness to overpower the dish (and Cool Whip)!

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce, When will you start slammin the punks that BEG? I'm gettin very tired of payin theyre way!

Goodness! You know, my friend Renee "My helmet climbed Mount Washington and stayed in one piece" Sommersby's son has been trying to get me into slamming since 1982! I admire the energy required, but it's just not my style. Plus, after you've spent three days getting your helmet just how you like it, you don't want a fall to undo all that work!

About paying their way--well, I haven't been to a dance club that charges for entry since 1984 (I'll save my funds for a super G&T, thank you!!!), but generosity is one of the 16 tenets of groovy living! Buy someone a G&T* today! You'll feel great!

Love,

Joyce

*or a strawberry daiquiri on July 16. Delicious!

[MissStacey 1]

Dear Joyce,

Len and I would would like for you to partake in a threesome with us. Len was too shy to ask. Gin and Tonics and fondue will be supplied of course. Plus, a lifesize cut out of Alan Alda- to rev your spirits.

Stacey and Len

[scandal 951]

Dear Joyce,

Len and I would would like for you to partake in a threesome with us. Len was too shy to ask. Gin and Tonics and fondue will be supplied of course. Plus, a lifesize cut out of Alan Alda- to rev your spirits.

Stacey and Len

Oh, and Charles (and I ) wanna watch ...... just sayin' .....

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Goodness! I suggest gin.

Love,

Joyce

also pantyhose....the same smooth lines with the same constrictions as a girdle and other foundation garments. a truly liberating experience!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dear Joyce,

Len and I would would like for you to partake in a threesome with us. Len was too shy to ask. Gin and Tonics and fondue will be supplied of course. Plus, a lifesize cut out of Alan Alda- to rev your spirits.

Stacey and Len

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

Len and I would would like for you to partake in a threesome with us. Len was too shy to ask. Gin and Tonics and fondue will be supplied of course. Plus, a lifesize cut out of Alan Alda- to rev your spirits.

Stacey and Len

Dear Stacey and Len:

Goodness! How flattering! And no need to be shy!

I'd be honored to partake in the threesome. I know that sometimes I seem a little "trad," what with my focus on chocolate fondue and cheese fondue, but you wise ladies know that a third addition to the usual duo really makes for a special occasion! This time of year, I like to experiment with a minty fondue. Would that suffice as the third fondue in the threesome?

I asked Dave "Baby" Cortez about your suggestion, and he said he'd like to watch! I said, "Since when have you been interested in fondue?" He's so wishy-washy sometimes! He also presented me with edible underwear to take along to the threesome fondue event. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with it. Does it melt?

Should I bring the sterno?

Love,

Joyce

p.s. Lifesize cutout of Alan Alda! *swoon* In his M*A*S*H get-up, I hope? Goodness!