Dear Joyce

[almaty 19]

wow, cool whip in a can....looks like poppa's got a brand new bag

[*julez* 124]

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dear Joyce,

Lately I have been bombarded with TV advertisements for a network show called "Swingtown" -- tres Joyce. I was wondering if you had anything to do with the concept and the wardrobe for the show (fondue is a center piece of the show); and what your views are on the whole "key party" scene and sexual liberties in the Swinginnnn Scene.

My parents were in their prime back in the day, and I wonder if I should query them about their participation in such events....

Curiously,

TV Fan.

[*julez* 124]

Dear Joyce,

I just purchased this hot number last weekend:

I think it would be perfect for swinging? What do you think? I truly value your opinion!

I've missed you girl!

julez

P.S. I had the following shipped to you!

Edited June 25, 2008 by *julez*

[Nessa 23]

Dear Joyce,

I just purchased this hot number last weekend:

I think it would be perfect for swinging? What do you think? I truly value your opinion!

I've missed you girl!

julez

P.S. I had the following shipped to you!

[almaty 19]

wow..excellent threads

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

During a 'M*AS*H' marathon on TV, I happened to spot a commercial endorsement for Cool Whip. It seems that scientific boffins have managed to think the unthinkable and have crammed the pseudo-dairy goodness of Cool Whip into a spray can. However, the imagery and wordplay of the advertisement confused me somewhat. It appeared to me that they were advocating some sort of playfulness with Cool Whip, with lots of scantily-clad young ladies frollicking with their menfolk. Indeed, the 'tagline' suggested that consumers should 'Press Play'. I fear I have led a sheltered life and perhaps am a tad naiive in these matters, but I wondered whether you wished to comment on what you feel the creators of Cool Whip had in mind for this new and novel applicator.

I remain your most humble and obedient servant.

SteveLaura

Dear SteveLaura:

How nice to hear from you! And goodness, where to start! Well, I hate to be a pedant, but Cool Whip isn't quite pseudo-dairy goodness, but nondairy goodness!

Priority 1: Get those scantily clad young ladies into pantsuits! It's much more fun! For some reason, the younger generation are fond of skimpy "swim" wear, but the joke is on them! They're paying more money for less material! If they realized this, they'd have more money to spend on such things as orange cocktail napkins and IUDs!

"Press play" I can help with. I think viewers are being directed to "turn on" (if you will) the 8-track player and slide in a great big Joyce 8-track! Now, that will get a party started!

Regarding the Cool Whip spray can, my goodness! That just might test the limits of my ability to get with the times. I may have mentioned once or twice that I'm a Cool Whip purist, and I prefer the dollop as the main serving medium: It's simple and straightforward, and you can sneak a finger in there for a little taste test! But I can see how the spray can might be handy in certain situations, like at a sporting event or the scene of a car accident, when a spoon just isn't practical. I may need to give it some more thought.

Love,

Joyce

Goodness! They're advertising a dollop from a can! My helmet is in a tailspin!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

Lately I have been bombarded with TV advertisements for a network show called "Swingtown" -- tres Joyce. I was wondering if you had anything to do with the concept and the wardrobe for the show (fondue is a center piece of the show); and what your views are on the whole "key party" scene and sexual liberties in the Swinginnnn Scene.

My parents were in their prime back in the day, and I wonder if I should query them about their participation in such events....

Curiously,

TV Fan.

Dear TV Fan:

Come now, no need to get weepy! Swingtown, yes! Well, I can't take credit for the fondue being central to the show, but I can express my approval!

By "key party," I assume you mean the key players in my traveling lounge act? You bet! Although sometimes they display some curious behavior. For example, I was invited to a so-called key party back when I was known to wear not one but two jumpsuit belts (call me crazy!), and when I showed up and was asked for my keys, I said, "Goodness! I took the bus!" I never could figure out why they wanted my keys! I didn't trust some of them anyway; they probably wanted to let themselves into my house to raid my closet!

And by all means, question your parents about these key events. Maybe some of their clothes went missing, and they want to know why!

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

I just purchased this hot number last weekend:

I think it would be perfect for swinging? What do you think? I truly value your opinion!

I've missed you girl!

julez

P.S. I had the following shipped to you!

Julez, you are a woman of great sophistication and admirable taste. And perfect for swinging! After all, summer is here, and you want to keep those limbs moving for air circulation! Many people ask how I stay so fit, and I often say, by swinging! Every morning (sometimes afternoon if I've been enjoying a few G&Ts the night before!) I go for a rigorous walk and swing my arms wildly for a solid mile. Some say it looks silly, but it burns at least three dollops of Cool Whip!

And how can I thank you for shipping me that beautiful outfit? Come to think of it, I'm still waiting for Dean's contribution to my helmet paste. I always knew there was something strange about that mailman!

Love,

Joyce

[*julez* 124]

Dear Joyce,

Since you are the VJ fashion mave, I am turning to you in these uncertain fashion times. Like you, I enjoy a colorful polyester ensemble, whether shopping, socializing or working. One can never go wrong with polyester! And a nice pair of white, knee-high pleather boots to complete the look. Sadly, polyester is not cosidered as fashionable as it once was, though synthetic materials still rule in the shoe worl. Which leads me to my question:

Crocs? Though sythetic, these reptilian wannabes are an affront to the shoe lover and fashionistas everywhere. Joyce, what cane we do to stop the insanity (short of contacting Susan Powter)? I look to you for guidance in these troubled times!

Yours truly,

Those shoes are a crock, alright!

[almaty 19]

excellent post sister juliez..keeps me up at night, thinking of crocs

[*julez* 124]

Brother Dean, I just knew you'd understand and share my concern.

Forget New Orleans and the flooded midwest, Where is the outrage over these hideous shoes??

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Brother Dean, I just knew you'd understand and share my concern.

Forget New Orleans and the flooded midwest, Where is the outrage over these hideous shoes??

Here's the outrage sister julez....

[*julez* 124]

Brother Dean, I just knew you'd understand and share my concern.

Forget New Orleans and the flooded midwest, Where is the outrage over these hideous shoes??

Here's the outrage sister julez....

Sister Len, thank you for this! Such true words!! I feel better knowing that our bandwagon against crocs is growing!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Brother Dean, I just knew you'd understand and share my concern.

Forget New Orleans and the flooded midwest, Where is the outrage over these hideous shoes??

Here's the outrage sister julez....

Sister Len, thank you for this! Such true words!! I feel better knowing that our bandwagon against crocs is growing!

Anytime sister... specially since a little polyester bird told me Dear Joyce had a dozen too many martinis + extreme-wine fondue for her birthday and is MIA; grooving with Alan Alda somewhere....