Dear Joyce

[*julez* 124]

Dear Joyce,

I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten you! Since I was recently married, I've been up to my Cool Whip in other things! I do still make time to worship your helmet, for it truly is a wonder of the world and deserves the adoration of millions!

Your ever devoted fan,

Julez

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten you! Since I was recently married, I've been up to my Cool Whip in other things! I do still make time to worship your helmet, for it truly is a wonder of the world and deserves the adoration of millions!

Your ever devoted fan,

Julez

Dear Julez:

Goodness, thank you! I'm blushing! In fact, my helmet is blushing too! Which makes sense, because it's an extension of my very being. I know that many scientists maintain that hair isn't alive, but I beg to differ!

Congratulations on your marriage. I hope that you celebrated in style! What did you wear? I hope that you received some nice housewares in earth tones--not that it's all about the gifts, of course! (olive-green blender?)

I hope that things settle down and you can get back into Cool Whip in a big way. There's nothing like treating yourself to some nondairy goodness after a long week of lounge singing!

Love,

Joyce

[SteveLaura 0]

Dear Joyce,

I'm trying to arrange a romantic evening with my wife. Long story short, I need to get hold of Bobby Brady. And some frogs. Any suggestions?

Yours in awe,

Stranded At The Drive-In

[Chica Yeyé 41]

My dearest Joyce,

I was extremely sad that no one cared to discuss vampiric totem poles and the effect of Harry Potter in our lives. Would you care to share your exotic wisdom with us, your always faithful followers?

Bows, Vamp-to-Be aka Mrs. Severus Snape.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

I'm trying to arrange a romantic evening with my wife. Long story short, I need to get hold of Bobby Brady. And some frogs. Any suggestions?

Yours in awe,

Stranded At The Drive-In

Dear Stranded:

Goodness! You're not branded a fool are you? (Tee hee! Clever Joyce!)

Well, last I checked, Bobby Brady was down at the racetrack. I'd head down there and see if you can't find him! And he better be wearing his helmet!

Frogs, goodness! Do you live near a pond? I'd keep an eye out for lilly pads!

Kudos to you for arranging a romantic evening!

Have you thought about how Cool Whip might figure in to your plans?

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

My dearest Joyce,

I was extremely sad that no one cared to discuss vampiric totem poles and the effect of Harry Potter in our lives. Would you care to share your exotic wisdom with us, your always faithful followers?

Bows, Vamp-to-Be aka Mrs. Severus Snape.

Dear Mrs. Vamp:

Goodness! Well, I'm not sure why no one wished to discuss vampiric totem poles (and their offshoot, social disarray), but you know, we're all afraid of something a little different, aren't we? I stand firm that Joyce Helmet Worship will one day be the binding force of humanity. Well, that and a little industrial adhesive!

I think it's time to slip away for a G&T!

Love,

Joyce

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dear Joyce,

I just happened to glance at your profile pictures and was quite amazed that you were able to find time in your busy tour schedule to visit #######, Newfoundland. I was wondering if you had also had the opportunity to visit the adorable and cool-whippy town of Climax, Saskatchewan????? If not, I highly recommend it --- am sure you have a great deal of followers there who would rejoice in the presence of Joyce!!!!

Sincerely, Mrs. Where's My #######?

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dear Joyce,

After hearing of the recent approval of the artist formerly known as "the boy" aka Mr. AOS despair; and knowing that AOS D-herself will change her name back to Big Agnes I was left wondering.... what are your thoughts? Did you counsel Big A during these unfortunate times? Did you drink together until wee hours?

And most importantly.... now that's it's solved and the boy has his green card.... will YOU leave us??? :unsure:

Your devoted fan, Mrs. Redhead.

Edited March 13, 2008 by Len_and_Bren

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

I just happened to glance at your profile pictures and was quite amazed that you were able to find time in your busy tour schedule to visit #######, Newfoundland. I was wondering if you had also had the opportunity to visit the adorable and cool-whippy town of Climax, Saskatchewan????? If not, I highly recommend it --- am sure you have a great deal of followers there who would rejoice in the presence of Joyce!!!!

Sincerely, Mrs. Where's My #######?

Goodness! I'm sorry I haven't replied to your letter, Mrs. Where's My #######!

The stunning young woman in the ####### photo is not I, fabulous Joyce, but Big Agnes! Isn't she lovely! I've been trying to get her to curtail her dependence on cotton fabrics, but she is a tough case, I'm afraid. Her hair is also a bit straight, and I'm having a hard time encouraging her to get my trademark triple perm. I suspect she'll come around one day!

I would be honored to visit Climax! (goodness!) I'll talk to my tour manager about booking a date there. I'd be glad to visit our friends up north and spread my love, fashion wisdom, and helmet tips!

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

After hearing of the recent approval of the artist formerly known as "the boy" aka Mr. AOS despair; and knowing that AOS D-herself will change her name back to Big Agnes I was left wondering.... what are your thoughts? Did you counsel Big A during these unfortunate times? Did you drink together until wee hours?

And most importantly.... now that's it's solved and the boy has his green card.... will YOU leave us??? :unsure:

Your devoted fan, Mrs. Redhead.

Dear Mrs. Redhead:

Well, Mrs. Big Agnes and I do share some characteristics--a penchant for the booze, for example (*hiccup!* tee hee!)--although she does get tired of my Cool Whip-centric universe sometimes! Because I don't understand the concept of immigration forms, I wasn't much help in that department. But you can bet I make a wonderful gin and tonic!

I plan to stick around a while, for the VJ community needs me! Who else will dispense advice about neo-fondue? (be careful!) or store-brand nondairy whipped topping? (don't even thinking about it!) or *gasp* hair ironing (need I say it?)?

Love,

Joyce

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I am relieved to hear that, since I thank the Gods for you everyday Joyce.

[almaty 19]

always rememeber sister len..

wwjd?

what would joyce do?

gets me throught the tough times

[*julez* 124]

Dear Joyce,

Do you thionk it would be OK to mix Metamucil with Cool Whip, just to enhance the flavor a bit? You know, make it a bit easier to stomach? I want to be more "regular" but Metamucil on its own...yuck!

Sincerely,

Connie S. Tipated

[almaty 19]

sister joyce.

i attmepted to use the chocolate cool whip on a $4300 call girl, and she was appalled, saying only a tramp let you put chocolate cool whip there>>.

i guess, i need advice is the classic white cool whip the way to go with call girls?

singed

elliot in nyc

Edited March 14, 2008 by almaty

[*julez* 124]

shoulda gone with the new French Vanilla Cool Whip, Eliot....Its what all the high class whores love!