Dear Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

I'm a big fan of monobrows. Is this a look that goes well with helmet hair?

Harry

Dear Harry:

Yes, I do like a well-kept monobrow (or unibrow, as I call it), but not everyone can pull it off. I had a false unibrow for about six months. I used industrial adhesive (one of the components of my helmet paste, in fact) and some synthetic hair that matched my helmet exactly. Although I received many compliments, ultimately I had to discontinue it because my agent said that too many people mistook me for Frida Kahlo, which didn't help my album sales!

I say, go for it! The unibrow/helmet combo on the right person is the epitome of beauty! With proper clothing selection, of course.

Good luck!

Love,

Joyce

[Peikko 1,575]

Dear Joyce

Please help! My husband and I aren't normally party animals, but inspired by your encouraging words and a brand new lime green pant suit I found at the local thrift shop (you were spot on there!), we boldly went to the Allstrips for their annual New Year's party. I'm sure you've heard the stories about the Allstrips' parties yourself and let me tell you, not too many exaggerations there! Needless to say, after 3 Egg Nog's, I quite let my hair down (figuratively of course) and was even inspired to take part in the party games, what a hoot! Sadly though, I had a serious accident with my pant suit and a party size tub of Cool Whip. Please, please, what's the best remedy for cool whip stains?

Your expectantly

Mrs Holdem

Edited January 9, 2008 by Purple_Hibiscus

[*julez* 124]

Dear Joyce,

I was only just this morning extolling the wonder that is Cool Whip when one of my collegues sneered at me and stated, "Cool Wip is so 70's. Don't you know wasabi is the new Cool Whip?" It doesn't happen often, but I was left speechless! I wish I had shot back a witty retort, but I was just so aghast over her assertion!

Joyce, please tell me it isn't true!

Signed,

Crying over dissed Cool Whip

[Krikit 1,163]

Dear Joyce,

I was only just this morning extolling the wonder that is Cool Whip when one of my collegues sneered at me and stated, "Cool Wip is so 70's. Don't you know wasabi is the new Cool Whip?" It doesn't happen often, but I was left speechless! I wish I had shot back a witty retort, but I was just so aghast over her assertion!

Joyce, please tell me it isn't true!

Signed,

Crying over dissed Cool Whip

Now that's HOT.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce

Please help! My husband and I aren't normally party animals, but inspired by your encouraging words and a brand new lime green pant suit I found at the local thrift shop (you were spot on there!), we boldly went to the Allstrips for their annual New Year's party. I'm sure you've heard the stories about the Allstrips' parties yourself and let me tell you, not too many exaggerations there! Needless to say, after 3 Egg Nog's, I quite let my hair down (figuratively of course) and was even inspired to take part in the party games, what a hoot! Sadly though, I had a serious accident with my pant suit and a party size tub of Cool Whip. Please, please, what's the best remedy for cool whip stains?

Your expectantly

Mrs Holdem

Now, Mrs. Holdem, I think I've caught you in a white lie. Cool Whip doesn't stain! In fact, it's useful for getting out stains. Either your pantsuit accident involved another substance, or you're just making up the whole story! (**wink!**) As for how to get the mystery stain out, I've had luck with a peroxide/baking soda paste. If that doesn't work, you may have to consider investing in another pantsuit and making a fetching scarf out of the old one.

Good luck, Mrs. Holdem!

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

I was only just this morning extolling the wonder that is Cool Whip when one of my collegues sneered at me and stated, "Cool Wip is so 70's. Don't you know wasabi is the new Cool Whip?" It doesn't happen often, but I was left speechless! I wish I had shot back a witty retort, but I was just so aghast over her assertion!

Joyce, please tell me it isn't true!

Signed,

Crying over dissed Cool Whip

Dear Crying:

Goodness! Your colleague sounds like one irrational malcontent! Rest assured, she is merely projecting her own insecurities. It sounds like she needs a friend, so why not present her with some butterscotch pudding topped with Cool Whip? Just watch her try to turn it down! The proof is in the pudding (*snicker!*).

Love,

Joyce

[Krikit 1,163]

Dear Crying:

Goodness! Your colleague sounds like one irrational malcontent! Rest assured, she is merely projecting her own insecurities. It sounds like she needs a friend, so why not present her with some butterscotch pudding topped with Cool Whip? Just watch her try to turn it down! The proof is in the pudding (*snicker!*).

Okay, now you've just gone too far.

[almaty 19]

Dear Joyce,

I was only just this morning extolling the wonder that is Cool Whip when one of my collegues sneered at me and stated, "Cool Wip is so 70's. Don't you know wasabi is the new Cool Whip?" It doesn't happen often, but I was left speechless! I wish I had shot back a witty retort, but I was just so aghast over her assertion!

Joyce, please tell me it isn't true!

Signed,

Crying over dissed Cool Whip

Dear Crying:

Goodness! Your colleague sounds like one irrational malcontent! Rest assured, she is merely projecting her own insecurities. It sounds like she needs a friend, so why not present her with some butterscotch pudding topped with Cool Whip? Just watch her try to turn it down! The proof is in the pudding (*snicker!*).

Love,

Joyce

sounbds like you offer excellent counseling for your homeboys

[Amby 490]

Dear Joyce,

Why do old ladies enjoy silver tea service at their book club meetings?

[almaty 19]

dear joyce..

why do old ladies have blue hair sometimes?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

dear joyce..

why do old ladies have blue hair sometimes?

Oh...my grandmother had blue hair and I was very close to her so when I think of blue hair, I have fond memories. After she passed away, I had dream of her walking around our house like she always did, but she had lavender colored hair. She always looked nice in blue.

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

Why do old ladies enjoy silver tea service at their book club meetings?

Goodness! I'm a young thing, I wouldn't know anything about that!

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

dear joyce..

why do old ladies have blue hair sometimes?

Why, so they can display their personal style! I'm all for it, and as you may have gathered, I'm not a big fan of the natural look. I believe that a woman's true beauty is revealed through myriad industrial hair products, wonder fabrics, Cool Whip, and just a dash of tabasco. You know, a little kick. (*giggle*)

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

dear joyce..

why do old ladies have blue hair sometimes?

Oh...my grandmother had blue hair and I was very close to her so when I think of blue hair, I have fond memories. After she passed away, I had dream of her walking around our house like she always did, but she had lavender colored hair. She always looked nice in blue.

Aw, Mr. Fancypants, that's sweet!

My grandmother had the most beautiful blue helmet. It had a serene glow that put the whole town at ease. I learned a lot from her about such practical matters as helmet maintenance and keeping a trim figure, but also intangibles such as poise and grace under fondue. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and her expertise with Aqua Net.

Love,

Joyce

[Amby 490]

Dear Joyce,

Why does my a$$ fall asleep when I sit in this broke a$$ chair for more than 2 mins? Will you buy me a new one?