Dear Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

Why do Mondays drag?

Love,

Mrs. #######

Dear Mrs. #######:

Mondays don't have to drag. Yes, Monday seems like a long way away from that sweet Friday night gin and tonic followed by fondue and Cool Whip, but don't let that get you down! The trick is to treat yourself to something in the early part of the week. Back when I was a more traditional career gal, I treated myself to flattering support hose shopping on Tuesdays during my lunch break. That way, on Mondays, I thought, "Tomorrow I get to shop for nylon hose!" It's almost like the weekend comes early!

You're worth it, Mrs. #######!

Love,

Joyce

Dear Joyce,

Why do some people think they know it all? I find this attitude to be exceptionally frustrating.

Your insight is greatly appreciated.

Julez

Dear Julez:

They're crazy! Only Dear Joyce knows it all! (*wink!!*)

Love,

Joyce

sister joyce

..does mr joyce wear your clothes, speaking of drag???

Goodness!

Must there be a Mr. Joyce?

(Yes, I am mysterious!)

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Whats with the puffy hair is so 80s ish.

Goodness! The helmet is timeless.

Do we have a case of helmet envy here, Mr. Large (?) Member?

Love,

Joyce

[almaty 19]

lol..sister joyce.. i think brother eric...like to fondle your helmet..as i would

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Dearest Coolest of the Cool Whip Lovin' Joyce,

Where did Hillary go wrong?

- Bill's Pants

[eric&gen 0]

Whats with the puffy hair is so 80s ish.

Goodness! The helmet is timeless.

Do we have a case of helmet envy here, Mr. Large (?) Member?

Love,

Joyce

lol..sister joyce.. i think brother eric...like to fondle your helmet..as i would

Please dont tell my wife

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dearest Coolest of the Cool Whip Lovin' Joyce,

Where did Hillary go wrong?

- Bill's Pants

Dear Mr. Pants (nice to hear from you again!):

Although I admire Hillary's consistent pantsuits, I think that her weakness is a dependence on cotton blends. I'm almost sure that she's not wearing 100% synthetic, which is clearly affecting her confidence.

Also, she is striving for an immobile helmet but is only about halfway there. I have written numerous letters to both her and her husband (he actually has better helmet hair, isn't that always the way!), but I haven't received a reply!

I hope that you had a lovely time ringing in the new year!

Love,

Joyce

[almaty 19]

what is your opinion on donald trump's helmet?

[*julez* 124]

Dear Joyce,

Other than your good self, of course, whom, in your opinion has the best Hollywood helmet head of hair?

Your helmet hair is so inspirational! I think an instructional DVD/book is in order. I can see it now, "Joyce's Coiffure Crash Course" or "Joyce's Helmet Hair Helper". The possibilites are endless!

Yours in admiration,

Julez

[MissStacey 1]

Dear Joyce,

I have often wondered if you were the inspiration for Gary Spivey's helmet. I have also heard than you and he are somewhat of an item- could you confirm this rumor?

[Nessa 23]

Dear Joyce

I have a cool whip in my fridge that I opened before Thanksgiving. It smells good, but I can't find the expiration date. Do you think it's safe to eat? I was hoping I could use on my husband this weekend.

Thanks

Mrs. #######

Edited January 8, 2008 by Nessa

[*julez* 124]

Dear Joyce,

I'm a big fan of monobrows. Is this a look that goes well with helmet hair?

Harry

[Empress of Groovy 373]

what is your opinion on donald trump's helmet?

Well, it's not a bad start, but I think he could do with a triple perm. His combover style isn't a bad foundation for a healthy helmet, but if he could somehow triple the thickness, he'd be lookin' good!

Love,

Joyce

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Dear Joyce,

I have often wondered if you were the inspiration for Gary Spivey's helmet. I have also heard than you and he are somewhat of an item- could you confirm this rumor?

Gary Spivey - that man can drive blindfolded. I seen it on TV!

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

Other than your good self, of course, whom, in your opinion has the best Hollywood helmet head of hair?

Your helmet hair is so inspirational! I think an instructional DVD/book is in order. I can see it now, "Joyce's Coiffure Crash Course" or "Joyce's Helmet Hair Helper". The possibilites are endless!

Yours in admiration,

Julez

Dear Julez:

Why, thank you for the compliment!

I wouldn't say that anyone in Hollywood has an optimal helmet, but Mr. Kotter always made me weak in the knees!

I'm very flattered by your suggestion of how-tos, but I admit that I wish to keep my secret to myself! Otherwise, everyone would have a helmet just like mine, and what would be special about me then?

Goodness!

Love,

Joyce

[Empress of Groovy 373]

Dear Joyce,

I have often wondered if you were the inspiration for Gary Spivey's helmet. I have also heard than you and he are somewhat of an item- could you confirm this rumor?

Goodness! I should be so lucky! Do you have his number? Wait a minute, he should be the one calling me! I'll send psychic Joyce waves his way and wait by the phone! Thanks for the reminder!

By the way, how is your husband's constipation? If the works are still a bit stopped up, should I send along an autographed poster?

Love,

Joyce

Dear Joyce

I have a cool whip in my fridge that I opened before Thanksgiving. It smells good, but I can't find the expiration date. Do you think it's safe to eat? I was hoping I could use on my husband this weekend.

Thanks

Mrs. #######

Dear Mrs. #######:

Cool Whip keeps indefinitely, so go for it! Goodness, Mr. ####### is a lucky man!

Love,

Joyce