Words to live by this month

[Ron/Sharon 0]

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me.

Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.

Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat step #3.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.

You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO - what a ride!"

Have a great holiday season!

Ron and Sharon

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Why, how thoughtful of you to share these wise words - I will surely follow your advice!

[trailmix 77]

This is fantastic

[Krikit 1,164]

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me.

OMG. I think I just drank 250,000 calories.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

Edited December 19, 2007 by Krikit

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Nice to hear from you Ron!!!! How are things?

[Ron/Sharon 0]

Nice to hear from you Ron!!!! How are things?

Things are going well for us, we are refilling our sails since Mtl took the wind out of them.

How is life treating Len and Bren these days? Are you settling into the lifestyle you have waited so long for? Lenina I hope you and Bren have a wonderful time over the holidays, take care of each other.

Ron

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Nice to hear from you Ron!!!! How are things?

Things are going well for us, we are refilling our sails since Mtl took the wind out of them.

How is life treating Len and Bren these days? Are you settling into the lifestyle you have waited so long for? Lenina I hope you and Bren have a wonderful time over the holidays, take care of each other.

Ron

You are the sweetest. We're adjusting, day by day. Any news on the DC front? DO keep us up to date, you are missed around here.

[SpiritAlight 1]

Thank you Ron & Sharon.

That was a most awesome and comprehensive list!

:star:

[Ron/Sharon 0]

Hi Lenina, Nothing from Washington, all I have from there is the name of the person who signed for the documents in Sept. With that said I'm not expecting anything soon from those folks who don't have the decency to acknowledge their getting the package with a thank you or sorry nothing to be done here.

SpiritAlight, those words are someone else’s not mine. I couldn’t come up with something like that on my best days. I am glad that everyone seems to enjoy it though.

Ron

[BH45 0]

...I've already started following some of these rules. So I think, I'm good to go until January....*giggles*

Have yourself a wonderful holiday season.

[KarenCee 3]

(((((((((((((((((((Ron and Sharon))))))))))))))))))) Wishing you both the best of holidays.

[Carlawarla 1]

That was so funny Ron. Thanks!

Wishing a safe and happy holiday to you and Sharon.

I keep you guys in the my thoughts, and will do so this holiday season.

Big Hugs,

Carla

[SonoranSongbird 3]

Excellent advice (except I think I will substitute "hot apple cider laced with brandy" for "eggnog"). Thank you for sharing!

I am sorry to hear you are still....waiting....!!!! UGGGGHHHH! BUT I hope that you both have a truly lovely Christmas.

[TennCAN 1]

That was so funny Ron. Thanks!

Wishing a safe and happy holiday to you and Sharon.

I keep you guys in the my thoughts, and will do so this holiday season.

Big Hugs,

Carla

Keep the faith Ron & Sharon. We are thinking of you.

Dale & Vianca

[Lona.C. 16]

LOL that was funny , good to see you Ron and sharon Merry Christmas to both of you