Antisocial personality disorder........

[GaryC 7]

So many of those remind me of my ex. He has a genius IQ but cannot hold a job. Very angry. Physically and emotionally abusive. Drugs, alcohol, compulsive gambler. Just plain awful.

I hear you, 21 years of pain for me. Dealing with someone who is truly sick isn't a fun way to live life.

I had mine removed by court order after 7 years. I had been asking him to leave for a long time before that. He knew he didn't really want a family, but he also didn't want to admit that about himself. Thankfully, the courts intervened and got him out for me. I feel sad for my kids to have such a sh*t father, but am glad he is not allowed to be with them.

I stuck it out until our son was an adult. Then I walked away and let her have everything just to get away clean. I knew a divorce fight with her would have been worse than staying. So at age 44 I started over with my life.

Edited December 18, 2007 by GaryC

[Ban Hammer 13,345]

this sounds like the entire office here.

You need a new then job charles!

Carla

the pay is good plus it can be interesting at times

[Miranda&James 8]

My ex was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. There's lots of good reasons listed up there as to why he's an ex.

Yikes! Most of these describe my ex!

Superficial charm and good "intelligence" (yep)

Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking (absence? Doesn't that mean presence? In that case yep!)

Absence of "nervousness" or psychoneurotic manifestations ( see above, if it means presence then Yep again!)

Unreliability (Does a new job every 6 months count here? If yes, yep!)

Untruthfulness and insincerity (Untruthfulness no but insincerity yes)

Lack of remorse and shame (great big yes!!)

Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior (You have no idea!!)

Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience (Are they talking about my ex specifically? Sounds like it!)

Pathologic egocentricity and incapacity for love (This is giving me flashbacks!)

General poverty in major affective reactions (Oh man! They nailed her!)

Specific loss of insight (Again, yes!)

Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations (Especially with me!!)

Fantastic and uninviting behavior with drink and sometimes without (she didn't drink, but she didn't need it to do this)

Suicide rarely carried out (attempted 2x)

Sex life impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated (What sex life?)

Failure to follow any life plan (Still doing the same thing she did 25 years ago when I met her, does that qualify?)

Add to that infidelity and the need to blame me for every problem in life whether I was involved or not and you have my ex.

It amazes me that I survived 21 years without going nuts myself!

It does mean absence and not presence - most antisocial PD's aren't nervous or scared about the crimes they commit. I don't have my books with me, so I'm not 100% sure, but I don't think antisocial PD has delusions or irrational thinking. I know they aren't common diagnostics, but I don't remember even reading about them as uncommon but potential diagnostics either. Then again, most disorder categories do a poor job of actually fitting everyone into one box since most psychological disorders do not fit cleanly into a category and vary from person to person. People with antisocial PD are scary - they have to also have been diagnosed with a conduct disorder before age 16. I know you just meant your post in partial jest, this reply is just for more information for anyone else who reads them. I'm not a clinical psychologist though! I do have my degree in psych and am currently pursuing my masters in psych and have passed Abnormal psych with flying colors at both a graduate and undergraduate level, so I have some knowledge I have personal experience with personality disorders as well, and know how horribly they can disrupt the lives of those around them....

[Imua 0]

I think my ex was a sociopath - he was so egotistical and narcissistic that he had a whole photo album containing only photos of himself shot in various locations by his various foreign 'friends'. He had no empathy whatsoever and would never, ever admit that he did something wrong. He would ask and ask and ask for money and gifts like a digital camera or watch with no idea that what he was doing was wrong or inappropriate. Everything was all about him. He still IMs me on occasion and the conversation quickly turns to 'so what are you sending me for Christmas?' or 'my family is struggling, can you help me?' He told me that at a certain point in his life he decided he never wanted to work for a living, so since then he has scraped together whatever he could by duping foreigners into accepting his 'guide' services with his 'charm'. He styles himself as a 'trekking guide' but he is too lazy to even climb Swayambhu Hill(365 steps) He admitted that he never really loved me but would have married me just to get a green card. However, he spoke to other Nepalis who had come to America and changed his mind because 'you work like slaves there'. And yes, his mother was bipolar and unloving.

Thank God he is an 'ex'.

[almaty 19]

i agree....youa re lucky to be rid of that chopf##k

[Miranda&James 8]

Rush Limbaugh is, in my opinion, a fine example of someone suffering from a Narcissistic personality disorder. Listen to him for a couple days, look up the diagnostics, and you'll see what I mean.

[Nessa 23]

hey almaty, can you tell the difference between a borderline and a bipolar? ever had a case like that?

[*julez* 124]

My ex-chopf##k doesn't think he needs therapy cos playing poker is his therapy. Playing poker, as well as driving a cab, has given him so much insight into himself and to others that he doesn't need professional help. He also believes that playing poker is not gambling. He then quit the part time cabbie job to go on a "spiritual journey" - an Alaskan cruise, followed by 2 months driving through the western US. Currently poker playing is his "job". Lunatic!

[almaty 19]

hey almaty, can you tell the difference between a borderline and a bipolar? ever had a case like that?

of course sister..i had a few bi-polar and borderline combination////great fun./.

i am off to a meeting and thene lcients but i will try and remember to address your question tomorrow

[Miranda&James 8]

hey almaty, can you tell the difference between a borderline and a bipolar? ever had a case like that?

Bipolars cycle through their mood phases over long periods of time (weeks and months per phase, be it manic, hypomanic, or depressive, depending on the Bipolar type) and borderlines typically change moods very quickly (days, hours, minutes sometimes in my personal experience!). This is where bipolars most often get misdiagnosed - people don't pay attention to the length of their mood phases. There are diagnostic minimums that are often ignored.

[Carlawarla 1]

I worked closely with a woman who I later found to have had borderline personality disorder. I went through hell for 3 years with her behaviour. I can't imagine living with someone like this. The only recourse I had, and this was a plan that I helped develop with a counsellor, was to cut all ties with this person. This is the only thing that helped save MY mental health. This is not possible ususally with a family member. I really empathize with those of you that have had to contend with this in a prior marriage. There are also several good books out there to help people who know someone who is like this...insofar as learning to live with someone close to you with this illness.

Carla

[Nessa 23]

hey almaty, can you tell the difference between a borderline and a bipolar? ever had a case like that?

Bipolars cycle through their mood phases over long periods of time (weeks and months per phase, be it manic, hypomanic, or depressive, depending on the Bipolar type) and borderlines typically change moods very quickly (days, hours, minutes sometimes in my personal experience!). This is where bipolars most often get misdiagnosed - people don't pay attention to the length of their mood phases. There are diagnostic minimums that are often ignored.

ah, gotcha!

[almaty 19]

just for you sister nessa!

Can we confuse bipolar and borderline ?

Well, in theory, not !

Cycles in bipolar disorder are theoretically of rather long duration, sometimes a few months what is not the case in the borderline disorder.

The Bipolar has long periods of remission during which he is well, we cannot say the same with bpd peoples

The bipolar will suffer its cycles, basically no matter what it does, and independently of external factors, whereas in the borderline disorder cycles are the fruit of its emotions and its impulses, in short of lived moment what explains the speed of mood swing and the misleading feeling that he has several personalities

Borderline people is unstable almost in all domains like self-image, relationships, black and white thinking, emotions , ... what is not the case with bipolar

[Miranda&James 8]

I worked closely with a woman who I later found to have had borderline personality disorder. I went through hell for 3 years with her behaviour. I can't imagine living with someone like this. The only recourse I had, and this was a plan that I helped develop with a counsellor, was to cut all ties with this person. This is the only thing that helped save MY mental health. This is not possible ususally with a family member. I really empathize with those of you that have had to contend with this in a prior marriage. There are also several good books out there to help people who know someone who is like this...insofar as learning to live with someone close to you with this illness.

Carla

It's heartbreaking, and even more heartbreaking in that so many therapists (at least, according to a clinical psychologist I hold in very high regard) also refuse to treat borderlines due to how they (the patient ) treat them (the counselor) during therapy. There is hope with the dialectical behavior therapy by Linehan but unfortunately it isn't available anywhere near me and just isn't always a practical option. There is hope with lots of family support/meds/therapy but that is hard to get even in the best situations and it takes a lot of time. Heartbreaking really is the best word to describe dealing with the situation...

[almaty 19]

the treatment problem with any personality disorder nowadays...vs the past..is TIME

there is a limit of sessions that most insurance companies will pay...also, for the state means tests..may mean a co-pay each session ( for those w/o insurance)..so therapy is shorter in duration than 5-10 years ago..and the relationship between therapist and client never develops for the perosnality disorder person..........and becomes a band-aid for the most recent behavior/issue that brought them into the office..and the underline issues are never dealt with