How do you split the housework?

[onwa 6]

Since many of us now have our So's with us, how do you handle household chores? In the beginning my husband did most the cooking and the cleaning. But now that we're both working, I've found that we've pretty much split the work even---although he has yet to clean the bathroom! We are both very picky eaters and so make our own food. We either do our own dishes--or he does mine--or I do his--I do more of the general cleaning (sweeping, mopping, etc), but he never makes a mess. We take turns with the laundry, making the bed. He always takes out the trash. I always put in a new bag. He never has to be nagged about anything. I love it!! He also tells me I'm very blessed to have a Nigerian man who cooks and cleans. Well, I'm definitely blessed to have him no matter what! But tell me--how does the rest of you handle chores?

Ka

[joej 0]

I think you are extreemely lucky. lol. While my husband does not make too much of a mess, and generally cleans up after himself, I usually end up with the general house duty stuff ie. vacuum, laundry, scrubbing walls, etc. He will cook when I conveniently forget to cook anything, but is happy to let me do the cooking and dishes. Oh he cleans toilets. haha. I hate doing it and he hates to see them dirty, so that is one point for him I guess. lol. I hate clutter, so I find myself always "uncluttering the house". Since we have a baby, he will usually tend to him while I'm busy cooking, cleaning or whatever. We also have two big doggies (Great dane/Rotweiller and Shephard/Rotweiller) and two cute kitties, which I do ALL the caretaking for. Oh just wondering how the non usc spouses out there are doing with the pets of the USC spouse or vise versa? My husband almost had heart failure when my monster jumped on him to lick his face for the first time. My big dog is about 6 ft tall when he stands.

[kaydee457 13]

I "split" it 100% / 0%...I'm male. Guess who's burdened with the most...

[Carola 0]

Since I'm not the one here who afford our life I do most of the "to do list" at home... well I have to say he takes the trash out. Anyhow I consider myself a lucky woman because Jon is really organized, he isn't a messy man either.

[Nooner 0]

My lovely wife does virtually 100% of the cleaning but I do the cooking. This is not something I'm altogether comfortable with but she gets very hurt if I try to do anything (she thinks I don't *approve* of her efforts). In her Latin culture she believes it is her obligation to "take care" of her husband and she has some trouble adjusting to the fact that I don't expect her to wait on me hand and foot. Once, I was using the Vacuum and she took it away from me!

[Mina76 0]

Most of you are blessed indeed!

I on the other hand am not so fortunate to have such a husband that would help or even (oh heaven forbid ) slipt the housework, just don't marry a muslim man if you plan to be his maid and wait on him hand and foot for the rest of your life! Its not easy let me tell you!

[Cassie 8]

We tend to split it down almost down the middle.

I'll wash the laundry, but we each put our clothes away (he likes to fold stuff a certain way).

We each clean our own bathrooms.

We both load the dishwasher and do dishes in the sink if need be.

We'll both vaccuum.

He is in charge of the garbage, and lawnmowing, I get dusting and cooking and keeping us relatively organized. LOL

[mollyandstephen 0]

Right now our house work is split about 75/25---my husband does 75%! He's so great! He does the dishes, cleans the bathrooms, takes out the trash and washes the cars. I do the laundry and floors. I try to do more but he won't let me. He feels that since I am the one that is working right now while we wait for his EAD, that he should be the one to keep up on the housework. I actually appreciate it ALOT!!! The division of labor will become 50/50 once he starts working.

Molly

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

We usually split it right down the middle - I mean there's no chores list or anything but if I cook, she'll do the dishes afterwards and vice versa. That sort of thing. Currently I'm doing most of the domestic work since Nani is in her first trimester and not feeling too well most of the time.

Edited February 4, 2006 by ET-US2004

[mandolinv 0]

This is something that is difficult for me (within myself, not between my husband and me). I grew up in a very liberal household. My mom never cooked or cleaned more than my dad. I was taught very early to share and share alike. At the same time, I want to make my husband feel comfortable. It is hard for me to reconcile these things within myself, let alone explain it fully to him. So, it is something we are always working on. When he is home during the day, I always come home to find things picked up, the dishes done, and the floor swept. But, if we are both gone for the day, I tend to do more when we get home. As for cooking, sometimes I fix stuff for us both, and sometimes we each fix our own. I think it will be an ongoing flux of living together. By the way, I always do the laungry . It works for us most of the time.

[Peter&Dana 0]

Up until a couple of weeks ago, Peter did the vast majority of the housework, while I did 90% of the cooking. This is because during that time he was either working nights and had days to himself, or he wasn't working at all while waiting on his EAD.

Needless to say, he found a regular 9-5 job a couple of weeks ago and right now the house is a mess! LOL. It's been a challenge to me just to keep enough dishes clean to eat/cook with, and to keep enough clothes clean for us to wear.

I think this is because we haven't actually "discussed" housework since we're both working full time, but things will naturally probably be split down the middle. I notice that whenever I come home and start cleaning, he does, too. I don't think he likes to sit around while I clean - he wants to look productive, too. I think it's sweet. The other day I came home angry (who knows why?) so I started cleaning viciously to get my mind off of it. Well, Peter stayed in the bedroom (out of harm's way) and started making the bed, cleaning the bathroom, straightening papers, etc. It was so cute that he just fizzled out any anger I might have had and we ended up relaxing together for a little while in our sort-of-clean apartment.

Usually though, I do the laundry, he hangs the clothes, he washes the dishes, or I put them in the dishwasher, I always vacuum, and he takes care of the car. I do have to nag about the car sometimes, but I think that's because it's winter, and he doesn't think he can handle washing the car out in the cold. hehe

[Bosco 1]

Most of you are blessed indeed!

I on the other hand am not so fortunate to have such a husband that would help or even (oh heaven forbid ) slipt the housework, just don't marry a muslim man if you plan to be his maid and wait on him hand and foot for the rest of your life! Its not easy let me tell you!

I don't think it has anything to do with religion. Culture and religion are often confused. The Prophet Muhammad is known to have helped his wives, swept the house, mended his own clothes, etc.

My husband is Muslim and he does not hesitate to help out. He has never treated me like a maid. He does so many things and I never need to ask.

Please don't blame the religion. Maybe remind your husband what the Prophet said "Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards to his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well".

Rebecca

[onwa 6]

JoeJ---I love big dogs! We will get one someday. We have a pet fish. At first my husband didnt understand how you can have a pet fish. But thus fish has so much personality--hubby has completely taken over his care--and the fish now likes him better than me! (its a weird fish I tell you!)

Well, it sounds like the most of us our happy with the household arrangements and have great spouses. Its actually something we discussed before he even got here.

In other news. Go Nigeria! They won again and will advance to the semi-finals. Since we watch the games live--my hubby got up at 3 am this morning!

[Mina76 0]

Rebecca

Thank you for your input on this and I really don't blame it on the religion really, but this what my husband has told me and believes in.

He said that the wives are in charge of all house-duties and family, he feels he doesn't have to do anything but work outside to support the family and yet he said this is part of their religion and culture, but he is not the first muslim man that I know of to believe this in the same way. I know of other muslim couples whose husbands believe the wives to do all the cooking and house-cleaning.

He expected me to understand my duties and that is all the housework. This is hard for me to do when I'am working a full-time job that is both physical and tiring! The funny thing about this whole situation is that he still has not been able to get work though he has put in so many resumes out there to every type of company, but without any kind of work experience from the US they will not hire him.

And as for asking him to help out around the home, ha, that is a chore in itself!

So blessed are these women here whose husbands help them with cooking and house-cleaning!

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

He said that the wives are in charge of all house-duties and family, he feels he doesn't have to do anything but work outside to support the family and yet he said this is part of their religion and culture, but he is not the first muslim man that I know of to believe this in the same way. I know of other muslim couples whose husbands believe the wives to do all the cooking and house-cleaning.

He expected me to understand my duties and that is all the housework. This is hard for me to do when I'am working a full-time job that is both physical and tiring!

Time that you quit your job and stayed home then leaving the providing solely to him. Is your heading out to work every day not interfering with his beliefs as you describe them?