jealousy

[almaty 19]

not that I have any pschology kind of training or anything, but from my experience ppl who behave this way often feel something is lacking in their lives and need to appear more exciting to others by exaggerating things....

I dunno.....just my thoughts

sister welch cake ..you are indded a junior psychologist...dr dean

[wong_watkins 1]

I think you should donate a large sum of money to an animal shelter and then brag about it. I'm sure she'll try to outdo you, and then the animals win

LOL ..Amen!

[faith 0]

I have a friend who is kinda the opposite of the "bragging". She is always making comments about our other best friend having "so much money and we are all just so poor" meaning me and her. It's offensive in so many ways because a) I know that friend B is just as broke as me at the end of the month.. sure they make more money but they also have a bigger house payment, etc. and B) my hubby and I do just fine when it comes to money. We have all the bills covered and have lots of play money as well.

Friend B and I have discussed it many times and we try to blow it off when Friend A does those sorts of things. We have come to accept that she's like that because she's insecure, and she needs to deal with it, not us! (Plus we found out she's moving in a month so we're biding our time )

I know what you mean about not wanting to get rid of her because she's a good friend. Friend A is a great friend, will give me the shirt off her back if I needed it. Our kids are friends, our husbands are friends. She's always there when I need her.

You just need to decide that if her friendship part of the deal is enough for you to overlook the insecurity she has.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

"Unlike family, friends, you get to choose. wink.gif"

I really like what you said ET-US!

YOu guys are all right about her, and you're also right about asking why i'm her friend.. But the only thing i can say is HOW MANY OF THE PEOPLE WE KNOW WOULD ACTUALLY COME VISIT US IF GOD FORBID WE WERE IN THE HOSPITAL? she would definitely be one of those that would come see me and ask about me.. She's a great friend and we have alot in common except for THIS troubling "i'm all that" issue...

Is it okay for me to tell her to just be herself and i'll love her anyway?

Not trying for a laugh here but if she visited would she actually be there for you? Or to tell you 'shhe had this worse' or how awful you look? Or oh look I got this and it cost a FORTUNE! Would she, in other words, be visiting you out of compassion or for selfish reasons, to look down on you?

And you may have to face the fact that she may not KNOW who 'the real her' is after all this gamesmanship over what sems like years, trying to be better/richer/sexier than everyone and his dog. This might BE the real her now to all intents and purposes..

Other than that sure tell her - make her AWARE that you know all these games go on - but be prepared for her to a. Deny she is like that

or b. Get offended and never talk to you again, after the inevitable name calling

You dont NEED people in your life who suck all the energy from you - she sounds like that type to me - you should have people around you that it isnt a strain to be with.

Good luck tho

[Melo 1]

"Unlike family, friends, you get to choose. wink.gif"

I really like what you said ET-US!

YOu guys are all right about her, and you're also right about asking why i'm her friend.. But the only thing i can say is HOW MANY OF THE PEOPLE WE KNOW WOULD ACTUALLY COME VISIT US IF GOD FORBID WE WERE IN THE HOSPITAL? she would definitely be one of those that would come see me and ask about me.. She's a great friend and we have alot in common except for THIS troubling "i'm all that" issue...

Is it okay for me to tell her to just be herself and i'll love her anyway?

Not trying for a laugh here but if she visited would she actually be there for you? Or to tell you 'shhe had this worse' or how awful you look? Or oh look I got this and it cost a FORTUNE! Would she, in other words, be visiting you out of compassion or for selfish reasons, to look down on you?

And you may have to face the fact that she may not KNOW who 'the real her' is after all this gamesmanship over what sems like years, trying to be better/richer/sexier than everyone and his dog. This might BE the real her now to all intents and purposes..

Other than that sure tell her - make her AWARE that you know all these games go on - but be prepared for her to a. Deny she is like that

or b. Get offended and never talk to you again, after the inevitable name calling

You dont NEED people in your life who suck all the energy from you - she sounds like that type to me - you should have people around you that it isnt a strain to be with.

Good luck tho

[nina1 0]

Jaylen Brit,

If i was in the hospital, the girl really would be there for me, out of compassion.. If i needed something, she would try to help. I like our friendship in that sense. But i hate it when she doesn't understand that i won't look down on her if she admits that she got something for $1 as opposed to $100! She doesn't understand that we can still be friends even though i might have a better married life as her, or that i've been independant of my parent's pocket for a long time, or that i'm better educated... and so on and so forth.

I wouldn't befriend somebody if i knew they wouldn't be there for me in time of need.

I guess i'll try talking to her though, without the name calling and stuff though

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Yep, that Welsh cookie is pretty smart!! I have to agree this time too....if her life was REALLY that great, people would SEE it..she wouldn't have to brag about how good it is all of the time. Who CARES if she has 500 worth of cosmetics?? I'm proud of my Maybelline, dangit, (and CoverGirl for really high class nights) and I have a whole 3000 worth of (2)car(s) out in front of the house..I WIN, I WIN!!!!! M.

*sigh* now I gotta go finish supper and do dishes. The maid's not coming tomorrow.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Sorry, I gotta go. I'm gonna miss an important dinner at Windsor with Prince Charles and Camilla!!!

can i come? lol

I think you should donate a large sum of money to an animal shelter and then brag about it. I'm sure she'll try to outdo you, and then the animals win

EXCELLENT ADVICE FUZZY!

Always remember this: Unlike family, friends, you get to choose.

Edited April 20, 2006 by Dixie_Peach

[KarenCee 3]

I think you should donate a large sum of money to an animal shelter and then brag about it. I'm sure she'll try to outdo you, and then the animals win

Perfect!!!

[Sinergy 3]

Why are you friends with her again?

I second this question

[Fandango 1,440]

When people show you who they are....believe them.

You may want her to be the 'real her'...but do you even know if there's another one? Maybe this is the real one? Honestly, you sound like you're caught up in the one-upmanship too...cos if you truly didn't care about it, you wouldn't be competing with her.

Edited April 20, 2006 by LisaD

[iceyspots 0]

people like that need to step down to reality and realize that their lives have become so shallow... sad.. really.

[nina1 0]

I disagree with u lisaD..I am definitely not competing with her or anybody. I am very satisfied with everything in my life, and it is not in my nature to put down anybody! I did say in my original post that i am not one who talks about what i have or brags about it, that's not how i was raised. If i was into the "one-upmanship" it wouldn't bother me so much when she does it, and i would probably be the one to initiate the silly conversations, which i don't.. I really think jealousy is involved in this because why would anyone try to put me down just bcz i have a job? or just because my husband is not 6ft tall! It's stupid! I don't flaunt what i have or walk around with my fake items, but i will put you back in ur place if you try to make me feel low. My mum tells me to just listen to her and let her say what she wants, and i do , but sometimes i just can't let go of certain things she says.

I did find something you said interesting though..You said that maybe this IS THE REAL HER.. I guess i didn't think about that... Or maybe i thought that deep down, nobody wants to live a lie, and so given the chance, she WOULD change...

I don't know..I'm kinda glad that we're across the ocean from one another

[germangel 0]

german angel...wowww, that sux! lol But how do YOU deal with that? Do you try to put her back in her place like i sometimes try to do with her??

Mythomania?? LOLOLOLOL AHHAHHAHAH! i don't know what that is, but somehow it makes me feel better knowing that there IS really something wrong with her... So i need to let her say what she wants though, bcz she HAS an ILLNESS? tell me.. Obviously when u come back from your dinner with Camilla and prince Charles ...lollololol

LOL @ "yeah right, the last time i heard about the walls change colors from a kid on lsd.."

My hubbie calls her a sociopath! I don't know why she does this all the time but she needs help BAD. Unfortunately, I think she believes her own stories. She wants to be the center of attention all the time. Even at my welcome party, when I came to the US, she cried and told me she missed me sooooo much. Hello, #######? I had seen her 3 times before that...

oh well, I can't get rid of her as she is this guy's girlfriend (she has GOT to be super in bed!!)

We do try to bust her all the time but it never works. She says she has a bachelor in Chemistry but even do math problems. She had a problem and in the end 1 = 0.53684. She asked: "See, it's not that hard!!"

Oh well, have you ever talked to your friend about this? Maybe you should but be careful!!! She might take it wrong

[Fandango 1,440]

I disagree with u lisaD..I am definitely not competing with her or anybody. I am very satisfied with everything in my life, and it is not in my nature to put down anybody! I did say in my original post that i am not one who talks about what i have or brags about it, that's not how i was raised. If i was into the "one-upmanship" it wouldn't bother me so much when she does it, and i would probably be the one to initiate the silly conversations, which i don't.. I really think jealousy is involved in this because why would anyone try to put me down just bcz i have a job? or just because my husband is not 6ft tall! It's stupid! I don't flaunt what i have or walk around with my fake items, but i will put you back in ur place if you try to make me feel low. My mum tells me to just listen to her and let her say what she wants, and i do , but sometimes i just can't let go of certain things she says.

I did find something you said interesting though..You said that maybe this IS THE REAL HER.. I guess i didn't think about that... Or maybe i thought that deep down, nobody wants to live a lie, and so given the chance, she WOULD change...

I don't know..I'm kinda glad that we're across the ocean from one another

I'm not faulting you for anything, I'm just pointing something out that you may not realize...lookit:

This is looong, but bare with me pllllllllllllllllllz! smile.gif

I have a friend who likes to exagerate about things, like prices and brands and all. She got married about 4 yrs ago in Canada and now lives in Holland bcz her husband's studies were there. She grew up rich, and we grew up in a slightly smaller 3 floor home, and i think my dad has as much money or maybe more than them, but my family's not the type to flaunt what they have or lie about what they have.

A few mths ago, she told me indirectly "ohh, i have to go do dishes today bcz the maid is not coming tomorrow!" YA RIGHT! First you live in an appartment, second your husband is still studying. I understand that his parents are rich in Saudi Arabia, but he's still a student, and i don't imagine he would ask money from his parents..

During the same conversation, she was trying to flaunt her sex life by saying "When we have sex, all the neighbors/building can hear us".... So to shut her up, i said "Ohh woww, well thank God WE live in a house!" lololol And then she continued saying that when she has sex, she sees everything bright, even the walls! So to shut her up again, i said "I don't know about you, but i know i don't see my walls change colors! ARe you sure you don't take drugs before having sex?!" Oh and then the worst part, she hasn't met my husband bcz she was in holland when i got married, but when i sent her a pic, she realized he was not so tall. So she made a stupid comment and said "I heard short men have small penises!!!" My mum told me i shoulda told her "Funny, cuz i heard tall men have small penises!" lol

See, I don't want to pull things apart, but obviously I'm gonna....why do you have to respond to her like you do? Don't you see that to someone like her, you're challenging her? And why is it relevant that your house is only slightly smaller, or that your dad may or may not make more money?

Her: when we have sex it's all hot & stuff and I want to make you feel bad

You: well whenn WE have sex we do this...thank God we're not losers like you & we're homeowners! hah! take that!

Her: well I SEE COLORS SO NYAH

Ok...so why not respond 'hey that's great, you have a good sex life'? Why does her comment immediately evoke you talking about yourself?

Her: your man my have a small willy ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa

and why you or your mom would think to say: hahah, that's funny cos YOURS does! so phbthbtphbt

And then she would say things like "I have $500 worh of cosmetics like Dior.." And then a few wks later, she would say "My in-laws are sweet, they gave me $500 worth of cosmetics"... And then later she would say "I have $700 worth.." I was this close to telling her " Are you counting the inflation/interest on these (from 500-700 dollars)? lol

And then one day, she was wearing pants that said "Paris" on it and she said she got them from France.. Ya right, when did she ever go?! lol I mean i'm not stupid, i have clothes that say London or Paris, don't mean i got it from there!

Oooooooh and the worst is when she and her sis and mother walk around with FAAAAAAAKE gucci/louis vuitton...blabblall, or dior items such as glasses... Trust me, you go to Saudi Arabia, you can get ALL KINDS OF FAKE ITEMS!!! I could get some too, but i believe in buying the real thing only and IF you can afford it, that's just the way i think... So in the meantime, i'll stick with my Guess smile.gif

That's great that you're sticking with guess...but ou're not here talking about you tho...you're supposed to be complaining about her...you're talking about her fake nasty bags...what you do or what you wear is irrelevant...to me, this reads like you're just looking to poke holes into what she does, what she wears, etc...and you're 'superior' cos you choose not to wear fake gear. I think this comes across as very passive aggressive competitive stuff. And not only are you saying 'she wears fake stuff to make herself come across nicer', you have to pull apart the fact that where she goes, ANYONE can get it...she is no way 'special'...

eh, the rest I'll do later...can't be arsed right now