*Baby Corner*

[Nessa 23]

@mazzella, it all depends on your financial situation and what you'd like to do. All my co-workers tell me that once I have the baby i'll want to stay home and not go back to work, but they don't know me. I could never be happy being at home. I need to work, i need to do something, plus, with a baby, we'll need the money more than ever to keep our lifestyle.

And something else I take in consideration is that I'm terrified of quitting my recent job (even though the job isn't all that) and then not being able to find anything good for a while, or not being able to find anything at all other than jobs that will complicate my life. I don't have a 4 years college degree valid here in the States. For me to get a good job is difficult, plus it'll be even more difficult when I have to be picky about my work hours and work location.

I'd not only have the lack of american college degree education to make my job search difficult, but I'd have to pass on jobs for example, I am offered a job in Kansas City that I have to drive 1-2 hours there, I'd probably not be able to go back on base and pick up our child on daycare because of the time. We don't have friends or family here, it's all on us, Charles travels and if he's in one of those 3 weeks trip I can't count on him to pick him up.

Bottom line, if it's financially ok and if it would make you happy, more power to you if you can stay home with your baby. If I knew it wouldn't drive me crazy not having a job and that I'd have a good job to go back to, I'd definitely take more time to stay home with the baby, I'm not happy with putting a 6 weeks old baby in daycare, i hear about all the diseases and all that #######. But if that's what you want, you should do it.

[chri'stina 190]

about going back to work:

if money is not the deciding factor then really just go with how you feel. Some women are completely happy and fulfilled staying home all the time with an infant and some just arent and there is no reason whatsoever to feel bad or inadequate or guilty or anything else for the choice you make. I've certainly had a couple of girlfriends who were deadset on staying home and 4 or 5 months into it they were miserable - missing the money, socialization or responsibilites of working. I've also known some women who swore they would be back to work when their baby was 6 weeks old and now 4 years and another baby later, still at home .

I dont think anyone can imagine how they will feel about being a mother and having a baby and the profound ways that changes every single aspect of your life until you are there - so IF ITS POSSIBLE I recommend just playing it by ear a little and see how you feel down the road...

(my 2 cents from an old seasoned mom )

You have to do what you feel. I always planned to stay at home with the baby, and already was home before he was born. It's just what I wanted to do since forever, and thankfully we can afford it. But not everyone will feel the same.

I totally agree that the change that occurs after the birth of the child will be like nothing ever expected so you can't know how you will feel until after that happens. Nothing in my life has changed me more than becoming a mom, more than I ever thought it would. At first it seemed scary, you have a new life to support outside of your belly, which is a whole different thing than being pregnant. You love them so much, but still feel overwhelmed. Then you get stronger, you feel like a real mother, and things just change.

Edited November 7, 2008 by Parivar CSK

[NickD 203]

I got in my leather covered rocker recliner in last Monday, daughter-in-law came over to see it, and I rocked my granddaughter for over two hours?

But then when she started crying, gave her back to her mother.

But nice holding a baby again, even nicer giving her back to her mother when she starts crying. Planning on spoiling my granddaughter, big time, LOL.

[Amaya's Mommy 0]

Hi ladies,

I'm a little late but thanks for all the comments on my baby's photos. I'm still trying to get the hang of functioning with little sleep.

I have a couple of questions:

Amaya has developed baby acne , her doctor told me there's nothing to worry about as it will go away on its own and most likely caused by my hormones since I am breastfeeding. Has anyone's baby had this before, if so how long did it take to clear up? my doctor said it could be months and my poor baby's face is covered with it.

Also, Amaya has her days and nights mixed up and she is almost a month old and refuses to sleep in her bassinet. The only way she sleeps well is if I am holding her. My family says I am spoiling her but its the only way I can get any sleep. Any advice to get her sleeping at night without me holding her?

Thanks!

PS: this is mommy2B, I changed my display name.

[chri'stina 190]

Amaya's mommy-Doe she like to be swaddled? Have you tried that? Kavi slept for about the first 3 months swaddled and in his stroller(in the reclined position) near our bed! lol. It helped him not spit up, plus he also didn't like his bassinet and wanted to be swaddled up and in close quarters. Anyway, just thought I'd tell you what helped us.

[Amaya's Mommy 0]

Amaya's mommy-Doe she like to be swaddled? Have you tried that? Kavi slept for about the first 3 months swaddled and in his stroller(in the reclined position) near our bed! lol. It helped him not spit up, plus he also didn't like his bassinet and wanted to be swaddled up and in close quarters. Anyway, just thought I'd tell you what helped us.

Thank you. She actually hates to be swaddled, I tried that for a while and she would just scream her head off until I unswaddled her or she would do it herself. She also has been diagnosed with reflux which is probably why she wants to be held all the time. She likes being in her car seat but for limited periods of time not hours and the car seat is one that hooks unto the stroller frame so I have to hook it to the stroller first then rock her from time to time.... I'm running out of ideas.

[Eveline 9]

Amaya has developed baby acne , her doctor told me there's nothing to worry about as it will go away on its own and most likely caused by my hormones since I am breastfeeding. Has anyone's baby had this before, if so how long did it take to clear up? my doctor said it could be months and my poor baby's face is covered with it.

Also, Amaya has her days and nights mixed up and she is almost a month old and refuses to sleep in her bassinet. The only way she sleeps well is if I am holding her. My family says I am spoiling her but its the only way I can get any sleep. Any advice to get her sleeping at night without me holding her?

Thanks!

PS: this is mommy2B, I changed my display name.

1. Adam had baby acne REAL bad...it looked so bad that I didn't even want to take pictures of him. It cleared up after about 6 weeks or so. Don't do anything, it will go away as baby adjusts to everything around.

2. I'm a big supporter of co-sleeping. If she only sleeps while you hold her, then lay down next to her, hold her and cuddle with her. As long as both (or the three of you) get some quality sleep I wouldn't care. Allie is almost three months old and I'm trying to get her used to her bassinett now, for the first two months she slept with us every night. I know I've written that here before but baby doesn't see itself as an individual for the first four months and it 'thinks' it's a part of you so when you put her down in her bassinett, there is a part of 'her' missing. She doesn't understand yet that she is a person herself. Once she figures that out, and also figures out that she has more body pars than just a head, it will get better. Keep your head up. It's not easy. I actually slept sitting up with allie the other night and Adam spent almost the first three months of his life laying on my belly at night. That was the only thing that would make him sleep.

[Amaya's Mommy 0]

Thanks Eveline, that makes me feel better. I guess patience is key with regard to both issues.

[nannygirl82 0]

Amaya's mommy-Doe she like to be swaddled? Have you tried that? Kavi slept for about the first 3 months swaddled and in his stroller(in the reclined position) near our bed! lol. It helped him not spit up, plus he also didn't like his bassinet and wanted to be swaddled up and in close quarters. Anyway, just thought I'd tell you what helped us.

Thank you. She actually hates to be swaddled, I tried that for a while and she would just scream her head off until I unswaddled her or she would do it herself. She also has been diagnosed with reflux which is probably why she wants to be held all the time. She likes being in her car seat but for limited periods of time not hours and the car seat is one that hooks unto the stroller frame so I have to hook it to the stroller first then rock her from time to time.... I'm running out of ideas.

hey mommy!!!

*Kaila HATED being swaddled as well...must be a Jamaican thing so i let her arms free..

*She also started with baby acne as well...i was told to let it be and it didn't clear up....it go a little better when i switched to soy formula and used hydrocortazone....i would wait to see if it goes away and then talk to you dr about the next approach

*acid refulx have you tried using a sleep supporter that is sort of elevated? I have heard they work very well and help with the baby sleeping http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2763843 i used this and kaila loved it and slept....try and see what works for you!!

Also...you can NEVER spoil a newborn....they need to know you and know you are ther for them! My family told me that all the time as well..and I said I am mommy and daddy and I need to have that bond with my child...do what you feel is right and natural for you!

[Eveline 9]

@Ex-Mommy2B: Exactly. Time will make it better. Just imagine, your little Angel was in your womb until four weeks ago. It was snug, warm, moist and just cozy and now suddenly there are all those noises, air, new things, smells, tastes etc. and then she is also supposed to sleep on her own bed right away???? No mammal lets their babies sleep alone in their own 'cave'. Do you know what I mean, it's just completely against nature to have your babygirl sleep all alone. It'll get better.

Edited November 8, 2008 by Eveline

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

Mommy2be. Zaid also had baby acne and just like the doc said, at 6 weeks it was gone. Dont put creams and stuff, it should go awya on its own.

Do you have a swing? I swaddled zaid with his arms out and put him in his swing and he would sleep 4 hours at a time during the night when he was newborn even with the colic... Advice that was given to me about having days/nights mixed up was to have the baby in the sun (in the car, running errands and such) someone said it would make the babies "inner clock" adjust to night and day. thankfully we never had that problem but who knows..

[Anna C. 4]

Guys, where did you order your birth announcement? I finally have some time to do that. But it seems that they start at $2 per piece, seems a little excessive - I have to send out ca. 200 of those.

@ Amayas Mom: Don't worry like Eveline said, it will be better. Jona sleeps mostly on my chest or right next to me. More and more he is ok with sleeping in his crib, which is right next to our bed and will remain there prolly until he is around 12-15 months. You can't really spoil such a young baby, believe me, they are not developed enough to exploit the situation. I find good advice in the Dr. Sears book or on his website.

Edited November 8, 2008 by Anna C.

[Vi Mazzella 4]

@mazzella, it all depends on your financial situation and what you'd like to do. All my co-workers tell me that once I have the baby i'll want to stay home and not go back to work, but they don't know me. I could never be happy being at home. I need to work, i need to do something, plus, with a baby, we'll need the money more than ever to keep our lifestyle.

And something else I take in consideration is that I'm terrified of quitting my recent job (even though the job isn't all that) and then not being able to find anything good for a while, or not being able to find anything at all other than jobs that will complicate my life. I don't have a 4 years college degree valid here in the States. For me to get a good job is difficult, plus it'll be even more difficult when I have to be picky about my work hours and work location.

I'd not only have the lack of american college degree education to make my job search difficult, but I'd have to pass on jobs for example, I am offered a job in Kansas City that I have to drive 1-2 hours there, I'd probably not be able to go back on base and pick up our child on daycare because of the time. We don't have friends or family here, it's all on us, Charles travels and if he's in one of those 3 weeks trip I can't count on him to pick him up.

Bottom line, if it's financially ok and if it would make you happy, more power to you if you can stay home with your baby. If I knew it wouldn't drive me crazy not having a job and that I'd have a good job to go back to, I'd definitely take more time to stay home with the baby, I'm not happy with putting a 6 weeks old baby in daycare, i hear about all the diseases and all that #######. But if that's what you want, you should do it.

Thanks everybody for all your replies, I'll definitely have to see what happens when I have the baby here with me. Right now I'm thinking that I will go back to work definitely after the 3 months, maybe I'll take an extra month, we will see, another thing is that as Nessa said, I don't see myself staying at home, OMG I'm stressing myself!!!

and If I quit my job I have the feeling that is going to be extra difficult to find a new job, you know how things are here in the States. I'm finally GETTING THERE and don't want to loose what I've accomplished until now.

Oh well, thanks for all your posts again I really appreciate them. Tomorrow is our appointment with the OB/GYN whish us luck.

Lots of Hugs

Vi

[Amaya's Mommy 0]

hey mommy!!!

*Kaila HATED being swaddled as well...must be a Jamaican thing so i let her arms free..

*She also started with baby acne as well...i was told to let it be and it didn't clear up....it go a little better when i switched to soy formula and used hydrocortazone....i would wait to see if it goes away and then talk to you dr about the next approach

*acid refulx have you tried using a sleep supporter that is sort of elevated? I have heard they work very well and help with the baby sleeping http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2763843 i used this and kaila loved it and slept....try and see what works for you!!

Also...you can NEVER spoil a newborn....they need to know you and know you are ther for them! My family told me that all the time as well..and I said I am mommy and daddy and I need to have that bond with my child...do what you feel is right and natural for you!

Hey Nanny! yea it must be a JA thing.. she loves to wiggle around so much. I have a sleep supporter but its not elevated, I will look into that, thanks.

How is Kaila? she looks adorable as always.

[Amaya's Mommy 0]

@Ex-Mommy2B: Exactly. Time will make it better. Just imagine, your little Angel was in your womb until four weeks ago. It was snug, warm, moist and just cozy and now suddenly there are all those noises, air, new things, smells, tastes etc. and then she is also supposed to sleep on her own bed right away???? No mammal lets their babies sleep alone in their own 'cave'. Do you know what I mean, it's just completely against nature to have your babygirl sleep all alone. It'll get better.

Agreed! I feel the same way, its my family putting the pressure on me, especially my mom. Tonight I tried just keeping her next to me instead of on my chest and when she started to wake up and cry I just got closer to her and she settled down and went back to sleep... which is probably what I should be doing right about now