*Baby Corner*

[~ Karima ~ 0]

Belwin – What kind of tub are your bathing her in? I know for Ayman he hated the hard plastic tub we bought at first. I bought him a bath lounger and now he loves his baths. He loves having the washcloth on his tummy and water poured all over him. He also loves to take showers with mommy or daddy too. He likes his water very warm and the room nice and warm too. But like others, he hates being massaged with lotion.

Autumnchik – I'm so glad to hear Declan's surgery went well. You are very brave, I would be a complete mess if I had to go thru that. I pray for his speedy recovery.

Kelly - As far as daycare, the lady he goes to licensed and state certified. My mom and I found her on the Internet (can't remember where). My mom called her first and spoke with her for a long time. This was back when my mother came over when he was born. Later when I called to talk to her again she was out of the country, but I spoke with her daughter. I went to meet with them and then found out her part time worker actually works with Simo at Publix. So I feel better knowing that. Day Care Centers are actually more expensive, anywhere from $245-$300 and up. So to us $200 a week for in home was pretty good. There are fewer kids so less chances of him getting sick. He is more likely to get sick from his father than at day care.

Well Ayman slept thru the night for the first time last night. We went to Babies R Us after work to get some food, came home, had a bath, played and then a bottle. He fell asleep in my arms somewhere around 9:30ish. I took him upstairs and put him in his bed at 10. I put him in his bed on his back, not swaddled (big step). I went to brush my teeth and fill his humidifier and came back and he had flipped himself over and was sound asleep on his tummy. So I left him. He slept all night until 5:30. Simo's alarm went off at 4:45AM and I jumped out of bed in a panic. I went in his room and laid my hand on his back to see if he was breathing and couldn't tell. So then I gently patted/moved him and then phewwww he squirmed. OMG I thought he was dead cause he didn't wake me up. Only bad thing was he was wet when he woke up. Had it not been for that I think he would have kept sleeping. He was soooo much happier this morning after his nice long sleep. He sat in his chair watching Happy Feet laughing all morning while I got ready for work. He fell back asleep right before we left.

I don't know the trick to getting to sleeping thru the night. I, however, have made Ayman sleep in his crib from the get go. I did not want him getting used to sleeping in the bed with me because I refuse to have a 10 yr old child thinking he still needs to sleep with mommy and daddy. My cousin and his wife made the mistake of putting their daughter in the bed with them and then could never get her to sleep in her own bed. Yeah, babies want to be close to mommy, but I believe that eventually this can lead to problems between husband and wife. My hubby is already feeling neglected, and putting a baby in between us in *our* bed just makes him feel more so. There have definitely been nights where one of us (mainly me) have slept in the bed in Ayman's room with him or I fell sleep with him on the couch or he slept in his swing, but for the most part I want him to get used to sleeping in his own bed.

Edited July 10, 2008 by carshel

[chnst 6]

I worked as a nanny last year for 2 kids and made $600/week. which was still not enough IMO, with all the sh!t I had to put up with their parents (cheating, giving the baby sleep meds, so that mom would get a full nights sleep, missing their birthdays, halloween, xmas, extending hours, and treating me like fungus growing out of mom's Gucci Purse. )

I too, have seen too many bad nannies and bad parents, so I'd only consider someone who's been thoroughly screened by an agency to take care of my baby.

[Eveline 9]

I don't believe in the "I won't have my 12 year old sleep in my bed" theory. I think babies shoudl be sleeping close to their parents up to a certain age. There's no need to have them laying between mommy and daddy but a cosleeper does wonders. Adam slept on my tummy until he was three months old and then was moved into a bassinett and eventually his crib in his room. It worked great for us. Of course nobody says to have them in your bed forever, there comes a point where the child needs to sleep in his or her own bed but - for the sake of everybody's good night sleep - when I have a baby that screams all night because it's in his own crib and it will be quiet and sleeping in my bed...then I will have it sleep in my bed. There's plenty of time to teach them to sleep in their own rooms later on. No animal would leave their babies somewhere out in the wild to be eaten by other animals...just my two cents and I'm not picking fights here..really only my opinion

[chri'stina 190]

autumnchik-I am glad the surgery went well, praying for nice fast recovery for little Declan!! God bless him.

About the sleeping...Kavi still sleeps in our room. Well, my opinion on the situation changed after he was born. hehe. Sujeet is the one who always said Kavi should stay in our room, and I used to say only for a couple months then he has to learn to be in his own room. But now, he is still in our room and is once in awhile in our bed. He will go to his room within a few months probably but it will be harder for me than for him I believe!

In India, according to Sujeet, the children sleep with the parents for the first few years of life. It's the culture, and they don't have houses with lots of bedrooms usually so people always share, it's normal. Once they get to a certain age they may not sleep in the parents' bed anymore. So Sujeet was actually the one wondering why a baby should have to sleep in it's own room alone, since he didn't grow up that way. And in India, when the kid doesn't sleep with the parent's anymore, it's a natural step to sleeping on their own and not a big traumatizing event like happens here.

And I have thought about the fact that animals keep their babies close for awhile, and why do we humans put the babies in separate rooms, and also in the old days when ppl still shared rooms, the family all slept together in one room. So I have changed my thoughts on this whole issue. Of course I am not against the baby sleeping in their own room from the beginning, I think that is good too! But now I see different reasons why some don't want to, like my husband. My husband doesn't feel neglected at all though and he is the one who would like the baby closer to us when I thought we shouldn't.

[Eveline 9]

If it works for baby and the parents, why not have them sleep in their rooms but most babies just cry because they don't smell the familiar smells, hear mom and dad breathing etc. So many moms in other forums complain about their children crying at night but don't want their babies in their bed because they are scared the child will still be there when it's 10 years old. I couldn't stand Adam in our bed anymore at around 8 months because he was moving so much and while I'd like to have him in our bed more often, he prefers his own bed now. That is fine with me because it works, he sleeps, everybody is happy.

He came running into our room the other night at 3:30 am and I picked him up, he snuggled up against me and the three of us slept like that for a while until my belly hurt too much (I was kinda on my back) and I took him back to bed. He just needed some reassurance, that was it.

[~ Karima ~ 0]

Everyones opinion is going to be different and if that is what works for you, great, but I don't just leave him to fend for himself. I just didn't want him to get in the habit of needing to sleep with us. I thought about getting one of those co-sleepers, but since his room is right outside ours it seemed pointless. He is already so close. Plus, we have a bed in his room where I have slept the majority of nights thus far. I've just now been able to sleep in my own bed. I'm not saying he has never slept with me. For the first month we slept downstairs on the couch together with naps in his bed. He's also slept in his swing next to me as well, I just prefer him to sleep in his bed now. Of course if he were screaming that might be different, but so far he's pretty good about it.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

carrie, i have to agree and that may just be because we have good sleepers...zaid was in a bassinet in my room, but that was only for my convenience (Selfish i know) his room is across the house and it was tooooo much up and down in the beginning when he was waking all the time to eat...his bassinet is now taken down because he is a chunko and has exceeded the 15lb weight limit...lol...and we have transitioned him to his bed, and occasionally his pack in play which is in our room...i cant put him in my bed for one reason...2 of sofyans friend and 1 friend of mine all smothered their children in their sleep and all 3 babies died...no one can guarentee that they will have quiet motionless sleep, im normally a sound sleeper and stay put but i know there has been occasions where i end up across the bed..i dont know, just my opinion but, anything can happen...

i can see my oldest brother and his wife, whos son is 2.5 and refused to sleep in his own room...reason being, his crib was ALWAYS in their room...it has put a complete damper on their "personal life" and causes a lot of strain on their marriage..seeing that, i was always insistent on not having zaid in our room...

on another note...ive worked for quite a few day cares, and i babysat a family of 5 for 3 summers...and ive never heard of prices that high...maybe its just cheaper around here? i dont know...again, i will consider myself lucky for finding numerous people who will watch him for 10-15$ a day...

[chri'stina 190]

I also have heard of kids who don't want to sleep alone after sleeping with their parents for awhile. I'll have to ask Sujeet more about how they do it in India. How the kids are able to sleep with the parents and then be fine with sleeping on their own. Maybe because it's so normal there that the kids know it's the next step, they have seen their brothers and sisters transition so they know how to handle it? I wonder. Here it seems more like the a traumatic transition if it happens after awhile. I wonder what the difference is between here and India.

We were just away on vacation, and Kavi had to sleep in bed with Sujeet and I. He slept through the night every night while we were away, and now that we are home and he isn't sleeping in our bed, he is waking up once during the night again. When he was a newborn we never had him sleep in the bed b/c of the smothering fears. Now he is bigger and moves around a lot, and Sujeet adn I hardly move around while sleeping. But I was against this idea(co-sleeping) before Kavi was born, and my mind changed after he was born to have him closer. Hehehe I am a sap. But we make sure he knows he also has to sleep alone, and he did fine going from sleeping with us recently for a few nights to sleeping in his own thing again.

Edited July 10, 2008 by Parivar CSK

[Autumnchik 6]

I'm curious - has anyone here used a co-sleeper? We loved the concept of one, but when we set it up, the reality was that it didn't work well. It was difficulty to get in and out of bed (just the way we had to set it up where our bed was) and we ended up taking ti down and just having Declan sleep in his Pack'n' Play next to us.

Declan is doing good. He woke up in pain this morning. That is the hardest thing to see, him crying and seeing his heart rate elevated so you know he is hurting and not being able to do anything. He is on morphine every 2 hours now.They just took his chest tube out which is great. poor little boy has so many tubes and things in him, it is nice to have one gone.

[~ Karima ~ 0]

carrie, i have to agree and that may just be because we have good sleepers...zaid was in a bassinet in my room, but that was only for my convenience (Selfish i know) his room is across the house and it was tooooo much up and down in the beginning when he was waking all the time to eat...his bassinet is now taken down because he is a chunko and has exceeded the 15lb weight limit...lol...and we have transitioned him to his bed, and occasionally his pack in play which is in our room...i cant put him in my bed for one reason...2 of sofyans friend and 1 friend of mine all smothered their children in their sleep and all 3 babies died...no one can guarentee that they will have quiet motionless sleep, im normally a sound sleeper and stay put but i know there has been occasions where i end up across the bed..i dont know, just my opinion but, anything can happen...

i can see my oldest brother and his wife, whos son is 2.5 and refused to sleep in his own room...reason being, his crib was ALWAYS in their room...it has put a complete damper on their "personal life" and causes a lot of strain on their marriage..seeing that, i was always insistent on not having zaid in our room...

on another note...ive worked for quite a few day cares, and i babysat a family of 5 for 3 summers...and ive never heard of prices that high...maybe its just cheaper around here? i dont know...again, i will consider myself lucky for finding numerous people who will watch him for 10-15$ a day...

Exactly, the way Simo sleeps poor Ayman would either be a pancake or thrown on the floor by morning.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

autumnchik, i hope declan starts to feel better, it breaks my heart reading your posts..How long do they expect him to be in the hospital?

[~ Karima ~ 0]

Declan is doing good. He woke up in pain this morning. That is the hardest thing to see, him crying and seeing his heart rate elevated so you know he is hurting and not being able to do anything. He is on morphine every 2 hours now.They just took his chest tube out which is great. poor little boy has so many tubes and things in him, it is nice to have one gone.

Awww poor baby. Hope he is feeling better soon.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

There are fewer kids so less chances of him getting sick.

I guess. There are only 5 kids at my daughter's in home daycare and at all of the others she has been to, but she has picked up bacterial pinkeye (that was absolutely disgusting), rosacea, and the flu (which all of us have right now and it is extremely contagious apparently. All the kids have it and by extension the adults who are now at work passing on the love). The problem is a degrees of seperation problem. Just because your kid is only exposed to these kids does not mean all the kids are only exposed to each other. Some kids have large extended families or other play groups that they go to. They pick it up there then convienently give it to your child. Usually these diseases have already spread to the entire group by they time they are detected.

Kids are pretty oblivious to any public health rules. My daughter knows which cups are her's, but that doesn't mean that she won't drink from others. There is no real way to control that. Kids get snot all over themselves, wipe it everywhere, don't always cover their mouths when they cough, and generally don't wash their hands as often. Kids are pretty filthy animals at the infant-toddler stage. They haven't learned disgust or the true meaning of revulsion yet (that comes around 3), so they don't care. They'll write in their own poop if you leave them alone for a second.

With all of that in mind, about the only thing you can really do is just make sure your child is up to date on vaccinations and hope for the best. Stock up on cold and flu medicine. My daughter was only at this day care for 6 weeks before she brought us all home this. I am glad my husband's job is flexible so he could take off to take care of her and himself. I just haven't got it that bad. Maybe my immune system is still freaking out from that hell disease I got in January. That I got from work, but it wasn't very contagious apparently and no one in my family got it. My brother ended up with the same flu, but almost a month later, so I have to assume unrelated.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

LOL, need to learn how to spell. No, she got roseola not rosacea. Sorry.

[chri'stina 190]

Autumnchik-Oh my goodness! How long will Declan be in the hospital? Sorry if you already mentioned that. My heart goes out to the little boy, I hope the meds help his pain go away. I hope you are doing well too.

I just wanted to say about the sleeping thing..I hope you know I don't think it's wrong or mean for the baby to sleep in their own room right away even. I just wanted to share how my opinion on it had changed compared to what I thought before Kavi was born, but I am not saying one way is the only way. I think you all know that but just in case, I wanted to say it!