Could you forgive a cheating spouse?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I don't know if I'm strong enough or have enough fortitude to do what has to be done to overcome the effects of adultery. Not that I would like to dwell in the ensuing pain and struggle from the onset of that terrible truth, but truly getting over that pain while remaining in the midst of the marriage is a definite challenge. Adultery is probably one of the hardest psychological traumas to overcome in a marriage second to the death of a spouse. At least, that’s how I feel about it…

Well said. In a way, the grieving would be similar.

[almaty 19]

I don't know if I'm strong enough or have enough fortitude to do what has to be done to overcome the effects of adultery. Not that I would like to dwell in the ensuing pain and struggle from the onset of that terrible truth, but truly getting over that pain while remaining in the midst of the marriage is a definite challenge. Adultery is probably one of the hardest psychological traumas to overcome in a marriage second to the death of a spouse. At least, that’s how I feel about it…

sheriff, you are totally correct..it is a terrible blow to overcome, but some folks do and maintain their marriage..and in allot of ways..the marriage rebounds and over time the couple grows closer....of course, most do not...and i have seen many couples effected by cheating....it is the worse sin i can commit in a marriage except abuse

[DeadPoolX 9]

I can't really answer this. At least not honestly. It's never happened to me and I sincerely hope it never will.

But what I'm trying to say is that, whatever I say right now is just a bunch of "hot air." I could claim that I'd "forgive" her and be understanding and whatnot, but if it ever happened, how do I know I'd be like that? The truth of the matter is, I wouldn't know until I was put in that situation and neither would any of us.

To make matters even more complicated, the cheating itself isn't always cut-and-dry. Some might like to think so, but there are usually reasons for it and circumstances surrounding the situation itself. For instance, if I spent all of my time at work and completely ignored her, showing very little-to-no interest in her romantically or sexually, then what do I think would eventually happen? The reverse is true too.

Does that make cheating morally right? Probably not. But on the other hand, both partners need to make time for one another and attend to the other's needs and desires. If both husband and wife are feeling satisfied in the marriage, the chances of an extramarital affair are slim-to-none.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

To make matters even more complicated, the cheating itself isn't always cut-and-dry. Some might like to think so, but there are usually reasons for it and circumstances surrounding the situation itself. For instance, if I spent all of my time at work and completely ignored her, showing very little-to-no interest in her romantically or sexually, then what do I think would eventually happen? The reverse is true too.

Very true. Work can be a person's mistress.

[trailmix 77]

What if you live in a house without doors

What are doors, but a man-made barrier? To live without doors is to live without...oh screw it, I'm too tired to sound deep and philosophical.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

What if you live in a house without doors

What are doors, but a man-made barrier? To live without doors is to live without...oh screw it, I'm too tired to sound deep and philosophical.

second that one :lol: :lol:

[ForeverAmen 0]

Could you forgive? Would any of these be good enough reasons? Of course no one thinks it's going to happen to them, but if it did, what would you do?

I have always made it 'crystal' clear that checking WILL NOT be accepted under ANY circumstance! NO! NO! NO!

[sara535 15]

I can't really answer this. At least not honestly. It's never happened to me and I sincerely hope it never will.

But what I'm trying to say is that, whatever I say right now is just a bunch of "hot air." I could claim that I'd "forgive" her and be understanding and whatnot, but if it ever happened, how do I know I'd be like that? The truth of the matter is, I wouldn't know until I was put in that situation and neither would any of us.

To make matters even more complicated, the cheating itself isn't always cut-and-dry. Some might like to think so, but there are usually reasons for it and circumstances surrounding the situation itself. For instance, if I spent all of my time at work and completely ignored her, showing very little-to-no interest in her romantically or sexually, then what do I think would eventually happen? The reverse is true too.

Does that make cheating morally right? Probably not. But on the other hand, both partners need to make time for one another and attend to the other's needs and desires. If both husband and wife are feeling satisfied in the marriage, the chances of an extramarital affair are slim-to-none.

I totally agree with this. I would love to be able to say "absolutely not, I'd kick his ### to the curb in a New York minute" but the fact is, I dont know WHAT I would do until faced with the situation. One thing I've learned in my life is that its often the things you are so sure or certain about that end up being the gray areas and its the things you say you would NEVER do that end up biting you in the ###, so by now all I will say is that I also truly hope I do not have to deal with this issue in my marriage

[wishbone 0]

because there was alcohol involved

"My girlfriend kissed another guy right in front of my face at a New Year's Eve party. We had both been drinking a lot. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and I nearly lost it. However, the next morning after we had sobered up, we talked about it and I chalked up the experience to the alcohol. To be honest, if some girl had approached me that night, I was so wasted, I may have done the same thing. It was just one of those stupid, drunken screw-ups, so I got over it. And we learned a lesson about how much to drink, too."

Alan, 23, Fresno, CA

This made me smile. I remember a case worse than just a kiss, a guy who will be married in couple of days, now he have to marry another girl he mate on the night he drunk.

[openmymall 0]

I tried to one time and it just made me get more and more distrustful and bitter. I wouldn't do it again. A girl is lucky to have me. I will always treat her right and put her first. Cheating is giving that up.

I agree with you, once trust is broken you can never rebuild it again and once it has done, there will be again a chance to do it again, believe in this theres first, there will be second and third and so on and so forth

[Jasman0717 9]

Once a cheater, always a cheater

[ForeverAmen 0]

Once a cheater, always a cheater

I've always been told that a leopard does not change its spots.

[Caladan 19]

Could you forgive? Would any of these be good enough reasons? Of course no one thinks it's going to happen to them, but if it did, what would you do?

I have always made it 'crystal' clear that checking WILL NOT be accepted under ANY circumstance! NO! NO! NO!

Seriously. PayPal.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Could you forgive? Would any of these be good enough reasons? Of course no one thinks it's going to happen to them, but if it did, what would you do?

I have always made it 'crystal' clear that checking WILL NOT be accepted under ANY circumstance! NO! NO! NO!

Seriously. PayPal.

LOL

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

Yes, that deserves a salute. If you can only imagine, I'm in my boxers in front of the computer saluting you at this moment.