Could you forgive a cheating spouse?

[jundp 191]

What if you live in a house without doors

What are doors, but a man-made barrier? To live without doors is to live without...oh screw it, I'm too tired to sound deep and philosophical.

[akodiet 0]

there's no way i will forgive cheating spouse!

lol i love the direction this is going ....

Feel free to join in. Come on, be a good troll.

No, devilette scares me

[rika60607 215]

I've been cheated on in my first relationship.

YES, I would forgive, if my partner wanted to be forgiven and if it was not a whole other long term relationship, especially with children and financial ties.

I don't see much problem with this either. Sex means nothing... your desire to be a part of someone's life means everything.

And I am definitely not 1, 2 or 3!

I think the only people who forgive cheaters are:

1) Cheaters themselves who feel most people cheat and it is natural

2) People with low self-esteem- fear of being alone, they did something for their partner to cheat, or they can't find someone better

3) Highly religious who would even forgive someone who murdered a family member

I don't fall into any of the above and would hope to have the resolve and self respect to kick the person to the curb.

[Carlawarla 1]

I don't know. With luck, I won't have to find out. I suspect it would depend on lots of life factors; it's easy to say 'I'd walk', but who knows?

Agreed...well, for this marriage anyway. Gene knows how I feel about cheating, and I don't think he would. However, that's what I thought about my first husband as well! You don't know what you'd do, until you've been there.

I will say however, that when I found out my first husband was cheating we did go to marriage counselling. I didn't leave because of the "kids" issue. I thought and wanted a two parent home. Right or wrong, I stayed in the marriage. As far as I know, he never cheated again. Years later, we did divorce, however this was not due to further cheating, nor do I really think it was about the original cheating. My husband cheated I believe because of problems in our marriage that we didn't communicate about. We still had problems in our marriage years later. We divorced.

Never say never...

Carla

[Emancipation 2]

It's a good question.. thankfully never one I've faced in reality..

There is such a thing as forgiveness but there are consequences as well.. I could forgive a spouse but would I stay in the relationship?

Hypothetically - yes.. I could..

but that's a generalization and here's some scenarios I don't think I could stick around for:

Chronic Cheating

If the person he cheated on was in my immediate circle of influence (ie. best friend etc)

But like Carla says.. it's tough to know what anyone would do unless it really happens to you.

I know there would be a lot of pain and suffering for both parties.. That much I know.

[Amanda-Lise 0]

Been through it before. I tried to forgive my xH, but it just poisoned everything. I really dont think I could try to wade through that ####### again and waste years of my life on trying to fix something that likely couldnt be fixed. Though my hubby has said that should either of us cheat, he would hope that we'd give it our all to fix it. its just not that easy.

[Sister Fracas 5]

Lot's of interesting responses.

I don't know what I would do either.

I won't make a blanket statement and say "no, never, I'd kick him to the curb, etc" but the circumstances would have to dictate my response. An emotional relationship would be so much worse, but no matter what, it would tear me apart.

[almaty 19]

good post and thoughtful as always my BFF and sister fracas

[bostonparis 0]

I would be crushed. Absolutely destroyed. I would like to think that I would have the strength to stay, but honestly, I don't know if I would.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Completely depends on the situation.

I would be devastated and totally heartbroken. I'd need therapy and couples counseling. I'd like to think I could work through it but I'm not in that situation and I know I'll never be.

Nick is for me and I am for him.

[Nessa 23]

Of course I'd forgive him. And then I'd cut his ####### off and feed my cat

[AnewKINDofFEELIN 0]

Of course I'd forgive him. And then I'd cut his ####### off and feed my cat

I feel like you would get very little mileage out of that one.

[ya falaha! 0]

I'm not sure but I don't think I would ever forget and it would definitely be devastating. I think it would eat away at me to the point that it would eventually destroy the relationship.

[Sinergy 3]

nope! absolutly not

[Sheriff Uling 3]

I don't know if I'm strong enough or have enough fortitude to do what has to be done to overcome the effects of adultery. Not that I would like to dwell in the ensuing pain and struggle from the onset of that terrible truth, but truly getting over that pain while remaining in the midst of the marriage is a definite challenge. Adultery is probably one of the hardest psychological traumas to overcome in a marriage second to the death of a spouse. At least, that’s how I feel about it…