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Sister Fracas

Could you forgive a cheating spouse?

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jundp Mentor

jundp   191

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Filed: Country: Germany
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I trust D with my life....I don't think he'd do that to me. I love him and I want to be with him for the rest of our lives. When I vow 'through good times and bad', I'd like to think that covers forgiveness. I'm flawed, he's flawed...and to be so cut and dry and categorically say 'I'm out' to me, sounds like giving up.

But it would devastate me.

I agree mostly. But in truth, I've been cheated on before and I tried to forgive but couldn't forget and that ruined everything.

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Where men are men and sheep are scared....

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natty bumppo Grand Master

natty bumppo   297

Posted
Filed: Country: Brazil
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Posted (edited)
I trust D with my life....I don't think he'd do that to me. I love him and I want to be with him for the rest of our lives. When I vow 'through good times and bad', I'd like to think that covers forgiveness. I'm flawed, he's flawed...and to be so cut and dry and categorically say 'I'm out' to me, sounds like giving up.

But it would devastate me.

I agree mostly. But in truth, I've been cheated on before and I tried to forgive but couldn't forget and that ruined everything.

sheep.jpg

Where men are men and sheep are scared....

I've been wanting to say this ... especially since there are so many sheep on the threads today :lol:

Edited by Natty Bumppo
Kazan' Tiger Experienced

Kazan' Tiger   1

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Russia
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Posted

Could I forgive, yes. Could I forget, no. Our relationship would be over. This is pretty much the only bond breaker for me. Most other issues, we could work on and I could forgive her for.

Jeffery AND Alla.

0 kilometers physically separates us!

K-1 Visa Granted... Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Alla ARRIVED to America... Wednesday, 12 November 2008

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eric&gen Mentor

eric&gen   0

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Philippines
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Posted
I trust D with my life....I don't think he'd do that to me. I love him and I want to be with him for the rest of our lives. When I vow 'through good times and bad', I'd like to think that covers forgiveness. I'm flawed, he's flawed...and to be so cut and dry and categorically say 'I'm out' to me, sounds like giving up.

But it would devastate me.

I agree mostly. But in truth, I've been cheated on before and I tried to forgive but couldn't forget and that ruined everything.

sheep.jpg

Where men are men and sheep are scared....

I've been wanting to say this ... especially since there are so many sheep on the threads today :lol:

I like this one lol sheep night on VJ let me find m rubber boots.

Citizenship

Event Date

Service Center : California Service Center

CIS Office : San Francisco CA

Date Filed : 2008-06-11

NOA Date : 2008-06-18

Bio. Appt. : 2008-07-08

Citizenship Interview

USCIS San Francisco Field Office

Wednesday, September 10,2008

Time 2:35PM

Caladan Experienced

Caladan   19

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Canada
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Posted
I don't know. With luck, I won't have to find out. I suspect it would depend on lots of life factors; it's easy to say 'I'd walk', but who knows?

It's also easy to not have a stand ....

It's easier to pretend to have an absolute one.

AOS

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Filed: 8/1/07

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Biometrics: 9/28/07

EAD/AP: 10/17/07

EAD card ordered again (who knows, maybe we got the two-fer deal): 10/23/-7

Transferred to CSC: 10/26/07

Approved: 11/21/07

Alex+R Veteran

Alex+R   0

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Brazil
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Posted
I don't know. With luck, I won't have to find out. I suspect it would depend on lots of life factors; it's easy to say 'I'd walk', but who knows?

It's also easy to not have a stand ....

It's easier to pretend to have an absolute one.

:thumbs: I don't know how you could know ahead of time. Why make a rule if there's no reason to do so?

*Alexandra*

(I did it)

Caladan Experienced

Caladan   19

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

You hear a lot of 'I'd dump him' and then 'but.... what about the kids?' or 'But I've been a housewife for 15 years and can't get a job quickly to move out' or 'We've been through so much, why throw it away over a mistake' or any number of things. I think cheating is wrong, but I think every person pretty much has to handle the aftermath in their own way.

AOS

-

Filed: 8/1/07

NOA1:9/7/07

Biometrics: 9/28/07

EAD/AP: 10/17/07

EAD card ordered again (who knows, maybe we got the two-fer deal): 10/23/-7

Transferred to CSC: 10/26/07

Approved: 11/21/07

natty bumppo Grand Master

natty bumppo   297

Posted
Filed: Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted
I don't know. With luck, I won't have to find out. I suspect it would depend on lots of life factors; it's easy to say 'I'd walk', but who knows?

It's also easy to not have a stand ....

It's easier to pretend to have an absolute one.

:thumbs:I don't know how you could know ahead of time. Why make a rule if there's no reason to do so?

know yourself ... it helps

also have been there .. and I speak from experience ...

Next

Alex+R Veteran

Alex+R   0

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted
I don't know. With luck, I won't have to find out. I suspect it would depend on lots of life factors; it's easy to say 'I'd walk', but who knows?

It's also easy to not have a stand ....

It's easier to pretend to have an absolute one.

:thumbs:I don't know how you could know ahead of time. Why make a rule if there's no reason to do so?

know yourself ... it helps

also have been there .. and I speak from experience ...

Next

Then that's not ahead of time. If you tried to make it through a cheating episode and couldn't, then you know. I've never been cheated on, but even if I had, I wouldn't have been married, or with my current SO, so I still don't think I'd know.

*Alexandra*

(I did it)

athena_ny Proficient

athena_ny   1

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Peru
 Timeline
Posted

I can't say. I'd cross that bridge when I got there.

this is the way the world ends

this is the way the world ends

this is the way the world ends

not with a bang but a whimper

[ts eliot]

aos timeline:

married: jan 5, 2007

noa 1: march 2nd, 2007

interview @ tampa, fl office: april 26, 2007

green card received: may 5, 2007

removal of conditions timeline:

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07/20/2009 - card production ordered!

natty bumppo Grand Master

natty bumppo   297

Posted
Filed: Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted
I don't know. With luck, I won't have to find out. I suspect it would depend on lots of life factors; it's easy to say 'I'd walk', but who knows?

It's also easy to not have a stand ....

It's easier to pretend to have an absolute one.

:thumbs:I don't know how you could know ahead of time. Why make a rule if there's no reason to do so?

know yourself ... it helps

also have been there .. and I speak from experience ...

Next

Then that's not ahead of time. If you tried to make it through a cheating episode and couldn't, then you know. I've never been cheated on, but even if I had, I wouldn't have been married, or with my current SO, so I still don't think I'd know.

You learn ... and have boundaries and make them known. Each person is different ... and has different tolerances. Trust is important ... once gone ... well ... there's the door.

rm2885 Rookie

rm2885   0

Posted
Filed: Country: China
 Timeline
Posted

I forgave my bf, because I love him, and I couldn't leave him... Though I was the person he cheated with, I was the third person.

He was still officially with his ex-girl friend when he was with me. And I didn't know any until I am really in love with him. But the fact that he spend every day with me since we start dating made me felt like he really did love me, and he was not seeing her or even talking to her at that time. So when I found out he was with someone, I was hurt. He asked me not to leave him, I decided to give him a second chance if he break up with her. And he did. Now we are together, I can't help to keep thinking if once there is a first time, there always will be a second time.

But I really love him. I can't leave him. He is so far away now. I am so scare that I call him everyday... He told me what is different about it now, and then is that he is committed now. And he think of me as his wife. Still have the question of can I really trust him arise in my mind. ....I know, it's all about trust, without it, it's not going to work.

Relationship experience or advice, anyone??I hope I can get advise and/or comfort from others here. Thanks.

2006, Jan29, first day of the year of the dog. Officially meet for the first time, at middle school class reunion. (1st Trip)

2006, May20, has to go back to U.S. Realize I got pregnant a few days before I left China

2006, Sep06, five months pregnant. Throw up all five months, work all five months, earn the money, go back to China. (2nd Trip)

2006, Nov09, left China.. Tummy got really really big...

2007, Jan09, Happy 1st birthday to my little angle boy... cutest thing in the world (birthing him alone, with his daddy on the phone)

2007, Feb08, travel back to China with baby (3rd Trip)

2007, May31, wean baby off breast completely, and went back to U.S. to work (cried a lot. miss baby and his daddy)

2007, Oct 23, became a citizen, Nov15, pledge at the ceremony and got the certificate

2007, Dec11, finally file for K1...

2008, Jan09, Happy Birthday for my 1 year old angle!!

12/11/2007 : I-129F Sent

12/13/2007 : Sent letter request correction for a typo :( worrying...

12/17/2007 : NOA1

01/08/2007 : Touched...

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............................................................Missing my love.....................................................................

 
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