Patience with your S/O

[~Jackie~ 30]

Truce and group hug (((((((( )))))))))))))

Patience with your S/O.............Allah grant me patience! Mohammed and I have the day off together and we will be together the whole day. I need lots of patience today! lol we will cut the grass together, cook, shop then watch TV. What's everyone else doing today?

Jackie

[honeyblonde 0]

Just Waiting, please don't go away. In my opinion you are a part of this group, a very positive part. Please try to read Leyla's post as just her supporting her opinion and let it go at that. I certainly have an opinion of it, but don't know how to word it without getting into a fight so will just let it go.

What am I doing today? Well, Abdel is still in bed and probably a little ticked that I'm not there. He is one of those that could lay in bed till noon on the weekend snuggling, but I'm the kind that is up as soon as I'm awake - ready to tackle the days assignments.

We need to cut the back yard since it's deep enough now the snakes can start getting close to the house, and I have 2 chapters of economics to read today. The last load of laundry is ready to go in the dryer, and Abdel has the bakers rack cleaned off, ready to put back in place, so as soon as he gets it's spot cleaned out to move it, we'll put that back and he can work on getting it set back up. I'll be so happy to finally get the last two boxes of kitchen stuff out of the bedroom and be able to find what I need to really cook again.

If there's time I also need to work on cleaning out my son's old computer room where we're moving the living room to while we renovate in there. As seems normal with kids he just moved out and left his stuff all over, so I get to either pack it up or throw it out. Of course I have to sort it first because he was the kind that "borrowed" things and then just left them in his room, so I'm finding all kinds of things I've been missing.

Oh yeah, need to clean the bathroom too, and dust and vaccum if I have time. But economics reigns supreme for this weekend and next, so I doubt much will get done.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Just_waiting I'm sorry if I offended you. It certainly was not my intention. Like honeyblonde said I was "just supporting MY opinion" about it.

"The only issue with this is that there are soooooo many versions of the bible Its not in all of them."

It is in all of the 13 versions I have but I know there are many other versions of the bible

I too get terribly offended when it sounds as if someone is attacking my religion and that is why I respond to such posts.... to defend my faith.

[dawnnhatem 0]

HI Everyone!

Layla, it looks like you been here a while now and I never talked to you before...have you been to Libya? My husband worked in Libya for 7 months last year and I was too chicken to visit him there. (I had him come out and meet me in Egypt since it was just a bus ride for him) Now that he isn't there and will likely never be again I sometimes wonder if I missed out on a really cool experience.

Jackie, that is so sweet that you guys share chores on weekends. Today H was going to help me with somethings to get ready for dinner- arab and american company tonight...what to serve, who knows but I'll think of something and he is already gone for the day. Its ok I'm not complaining. But that is awesome that you guys share projects like that.

Well, I'm off to go look through my arab cook books to find something I think everyone will enjoy. Its going to be me and Hatem, his cousin (the fussy one that already asked H what I'm making so he knows if he'll like it and H reminded me that he needs arab food only) my mom, my sister and her husband. My family is super flexible but I still have to think about this.

later everybody

[Veiled Princess 1]

HI Everyone!

Layla, it looks like you been here a while now and I never talked to you before...have you been to Libya? My husband worked in Libya for 7 months last year and I was too chicken to visit him there. (I had him come out and meet me in Egypt since it was just a bus ride for him) Now that he isn't there and will likely never be again I sometimes wonder if I missed out on a really cool experience.

If you did then so did I because I made Yousuf meet me in Egypt as well

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I can't see myself visiting any country that does not have a US embassy. It just seems very scary to me.

I have seen pics of Libya and it looks nice though. Honestly it was only the lack of an American embassy that stopped me from going there. I would have loved to meet his family in person and hopefully one day I'll work up the courage (or they'll just open a new embassy and save me the trouble) and go there and meet everyone and see exactly where my habib is coming from

[crazyinEgypt 0]

Amr and I have complete patience with one another. I totally respect him and he totally respects me. We both knew going into this relationship there would be major differences and we accepted that up front. Never once has he complained about what I wear, my hair or my makeup. I love wearing my hair super blonde, short and spiky and he actually loves it! I have always dress on the conservative side, not as conservative as the egyptian women wear of course. I wear my 3/4 length or my short sleeve shirts now with my jeans and Amr loves it. I do get the stares and the cat calls which bothers me sometimes, but Amr just smiles. He says he is proud of me and he does not mind others staring at me because he knows my heart belongs to him. Maybe I'm wrong in saying this. I know I'm in another country, but I'm NOT egyptian and I want to wear my american clothes. If they were in America, they would be wearing their egyptian clothing, right? I feel I am being respecting by not showing my body like 99% of the tourists do here.

He was telling me a story once about how many people in the Middle East think american women are like the girls from American Pie! How scary is that! And the MAC station here that is always playing american movies has contributed to that. After meeting many of his friends, who DID shake my hand when we met, they say that they want to meet an american like me! It's all the media and T.V that portray the women as sluts. At first I know his friends were a bit hesitant about our relationship. Now they all call me their sister.

24.31 And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty ....

I will probably get the wrath of someone or get shot down for this, but I have to say it. NEVER would I lower my gaze to anyone. I am women hear me roar! I'm very proud to be a strong willed women and what I have accomplished in life. Beauty can be perceived as anything. I'm told that I have very pretty eyes......does this mean I should keep my eyes covered as well? I dress modest, I respect myself and because I am a woman I should lower my gaze? I think not. This is another thing Amr says he loves about me. I look at things head on. If someone does not want to look at me.....then don't.

I was quite surprised to learn that the christians here do cover their heads when they go to church. Learned something new!

I'm going to duck and run now. I'm sure the poo will start flying now.

[AInfante-Saraireh 0]

Well to be honest, i think the religion topic needs to go. Actually, we should all honor God, no matter what religion we are. Otherwise, it's personal and should be discussed and shared with your family, etc.

Yep, sometimes I think my life is just going by. Been in the waiting mode for quite sometime now, way before I met Faisal and married him. It took me a long time to get the guts up to fly to Jordan and I finally did, not once, but twice. Yipee! But now, I am waiting and waiting again, like all the rest here. I have no life. It's all in the waiting. I mean, I have a life, my daughter, my friends, my work, but it seems as though I remain in the waiting and I just can't seem to budge. I am starting to feel slightly depressed over this. I keep telling myself, his interview is 4 months away. But it just doesn't register. Ok, done venting for now.

Have a great day!

[~Jackie~ 30]

Today I am rethinking my decision to stay on VisaJourney. Maybe now is the time for me to leave here because not for one minute will I think to refrain from discussing my religion or defending it. There are other sites I can go to and support where I will be in the company of good sisters where we can share what it is like being a new muslim married to a muslim man.

If any of you know of a site, please share it with me because I am about done here.

Good luck to all of you waiting for your men and hope your AOS is easy for you too.

Goodbye. Kel, keep in touch and you too Dawn.

Jackie

[cbd2cai 0]

Today I am rethinking my decision to stay on VisaJourney. Maybe now is the time for me to leave here because not for one minute will I think to refrain from discussing my religion or defending it. There are other sites I can go to and support where I will be in the company of good sisters where we can share what it is like being a new muslim married to a muslim man.

If any of you know of a site, please share it with me because I am about done here.

Good luck to all of you waiting for your men and hope your AOS is easy for you too.

Goodbye. Kel, keep in touch and you too Dawn.

Jackie

I would say to you not to go, but you have to decide for yourself. I understand completely why you feel the way you do now. I am not a Muslimah, but with a Muslim husband it is good that I understand more about what my SO will be thinking about things. Maybe we should have a separate thread for these issues? I know another board I am on (an egyptian base board) has a separate topic for "asking advice on Islam". It is not meant as a place to argue, but to go find answers to questions. Anyone think this is a good idea?

Catherine

[LaL 418]

the religion topic will never die because its so important. everyone has an opinion about it and no one has to agree. unfortunately sometimes it *can* get a little catty, but even still, that in itself wouldnt make me want to leave. I too, like you J - want to see others succeed. I also, even though my husband is here with me now, spend a WHOLE lot of time alone. I can say - I read the religious topics with great interest... its great to see other viewpoints vs reading them in a book. Applied knowledge, straight from sources so to speak.

People just need to chill, it IS all about becomming reunited with our SO's, and adjustment once they come, good, bad, ugly and indifferent! I think all points of view should be welcomed, just here in the ME/NA forum, please all try to respect each other. I certainly have though many times recently - ####### is going on in here lately

You would positively be missed J should you decide to go. I for one love seeing you around as one of the "champion cheerers" .

ok ok - real point of the post --- dont gooooooooooooooooo

Edited April 23, 2006 by lal_brandow

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Today I am rethinking my decision to stay on VisaJourney. Maybe now is the time for me to leave here because not for one minute will I think to refrain from discussing my religion or defending it. There are other sites I can go to and support where I will be in the company of good sisters where we can share what it is like being a new muslim married to a muslim man.

If any of you know of a site, please share it with me because I am about done here.

Good luck to all of you waiting for your men and hope your AOS is easy for you too.

Goodbye. Kel, keep in touch and you too Dawn.

Jackie

I always enjoy your posts, Jackie, and I would miss you if you left.

Allah ma3ik

-MK

[jordanianprincess 0]

Today I am rethinking my decision to stay on VisaJourney. Maybe now is the time for me to leave here because not for one minute will I think to refrain from discussing my religion or defending it. There are other sites I can go to and support where I will be in the company of good sisters where we can share what it is like being a new muslim married to a muslim man.

If any of you know of a site, please share it with me because I am about done here.

Good luck to all of you waiting for your men and hope your AOS is easy for you too.

Goodbye. Kel, keep in touch and you too Dawn.

Jackie

I'd have to agree with Andrea on this..this religion stuff needs to stop. Everyone has the right to post what they would like and we are not all muslim or christian or jewish or any other religion. So if someone has the right to post something from the bible or quran, then someone else has the right to respond to it. The best way to avoid this is to avoid relgious talk. You can talk about life with your new husband without bringing religion into it. Even if a new thread is statred, it will only give people a place to go bash it. I can understand how many of us would want to share these things with each other, but if you do it on VJ then you have to be willing to accept the fact that people will come say things you dont want to hear.

I'd also like to point out again, that we are all adults. I don't agree with the stuff Leila posts from the quran either, but I don't comment on it. I'm sure there are alot of ladies here that enjoy her posts and would like to comment on it.

Not that we need rules here, we are adults. However I'd like to highly reccomend something to all of us ladies, if you don't agree with something don't respond to it, skip it over completely. If someone is really bothering you...there is an ignore feature on this forum.

Thats my 2 cents...I'd hate to see anyone leave.

[Fuzzness 2]

I've been reading this thread with great interest. maybe i missed a few things on the way.

what exactly is the purpose of the hijab? to hide a woman's beauty so men won't lust at her? what does that say for the man, that he can't control her or if the woman is sexually assaulted it's her fault?

and what about wearing a hijab for the purpose of wanting people to think shes a good girl? is that not the wrong reason for wearing it?

i hope i dont seem like i'm knocking islam. i am just trying to inform myself

thank you

[noura 0]

It seems this might be a nice time to bring up something I learned a long time ago in school about dealing w/ the public (particularly in service industry)... To keep peace and retain clients, a golden rule is: NEVER discuss politics, religion or sex!!! It always seemed to work pretty well as a service provider. Just my 2 cents... or is it 2 dirhams?

Noura

[dawnnhatem 0]

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I can't see myself visiting any country that does not have a US embassy. It just seems very scary to me.

I have seen pics of Libya and it looks nice though. Honestly it was only the lack of an American embassy that stopped me from going there. I would have loved to meet his family in person and hopefully one day I'll work up the courage (or they'll just open a new embassy and save me the trouble) and go there and meet everyone and see exactly where my habib is coming from

For me it wasn't just a lack of a US embassy...It was the lack of a visa process to get in too. Apparently, US citizens cant be granted visitor visas or be allowed entry formally. As a practical matter, I know that I could enter as his wife easily enough, but my presence wouldn't be documented well and I figured that there'd be no un-screwing me if anything went badly, and those stakes seemed high to me. I also saw some nice pictures and have been assured that I was as safe as anyone there and that Tripoli draws lots of european tourists that are safe, but I still just couldnt do it. I even bought a ticket to tripoli (connecting in Italy of course) but backed out.

I also heard that in the next year or so a US embassy will be opening up in tripoli. I'll believe it when I see it.

Anyways, good to see you here.

Jackie!!!!

I was away a while and I missed VJ and all the regulars here. When I came back, I was so happy to see everyone still checking in - including you. I would miss you if You weren't here, and I think that newer members have a lot to benifit from your experiences as long as you continue to share them. Hope one issue doesn't ruin it all for you. Sure the religious opinions voiced are going to vary from member to member, but thats kinda what makes this room more special. For the most part, we are all trying to find a comfortable area for each of us between some old school beliefs and behavior that our husbands grew up with and the beliefs and behavior that we have been exposed to forever here. Since we are all different, I expect us all to land in a different comfort area and sharing where we all "fall" can be helpful to another member that hasn't found a comfortable place yet. THats why in this room, I think its a lot more constructive to discuss this than some other room where the posts get so ugly and not helpful. Does that make sense??

Im just going to restate Laura's "Just don't goooooooooooo "