Patience with your S/O

[Together4ever 1]

Girls, you may find the stares and whistles annoying, but you should realize that when they stop, you will miss them. I know I did. When I was younger I was like you and got angry about them, but now on the rare occassion I get one, I am happy all day. Sometimes it's nice to know you "still have it"

Sorry Honey...I'd have to disagree with that statement.

That's cool. I hope you never get to the point where you wonder if you still have it. I know I can't wait to lose enough weight to feel better about myself again. I know you think it's bad that I'm down on myself because of it, but what else will motivate me to lose it as well? I need to get it off before I have a heart attack according to my doctor, so I'll accept whatever motivation I can get.

I do remember cussing at a Mexican construction worker once for whistling at me and then having to run because he was gonna chase me down and beat me up for calling him gay in Spanish in front of all his friends. I guess if I remember back far enough I can relate to what you guys are saying.

I'm trying to lose weight too. Sure isn't easy. I bet you do a far better job then I do! Just remember, your honey loves you just the way you are.

[honeyblonde 0]

You are so right! Abdel gets really frustrated with me. He tells me he doesn't care if I wear makeup or not (and really means it) and tells me I am really beautiful, he doesn't understand why I don't think so. Our secretary teases me because I usually end up finishing my makeup at the end of the day before I go home. She tells me, "Please put it on in the morning, we have to look at you all day!" Abdel doesn't understand why I just feel more like "me" if I'm wearing makeup.

The one thing we disagree on is that I want to get permanent eyeliner tatooed on. He tells me not to because he likes me natural. Being blonde I just feel like eyeliner defines my eyes, but it's such a pain to deal with because it smudges. For now he's winning because it costs over $500!

[Together4ever 1]

You are so right! Abdel gets really frustrated with me. He tells me he doesn't care if I wear makeup or not (and really means it) and tells me I am really beautiful, he doesn't understand why I don't think so. Our secretary teases me because I usually end up finishing my makeup at the end of the day before I go home. She tells me, "Please put it on in the morning, we have to look at you all day!" Abdel doesn't understand why I just feel more like "me" if I'm wearing makeup.

The one thing we disagree on is that I want to get permanent eyeliner tatooed on. He tells me not to because he likes me natural. Being blonde I just feel like eyeliner defines my eyes, but it's such a pain to deal with because it smudges. For now he's winning because it costs over $500!

You know, I have such a hard time coming to terms with the differing perspective of the ME/NA when it comes to the figure of women. I think we are subconsciously whipped into the "Barbie Doll" image in this country, even to the point of having not only a svelt body, but musculature to boot. Yeah, ok, I pulled it off in my 20s, but not now. I have a definitely "womanly" figure and its not the one stated above! Mohammed adores me as I am and sometimes I just can't accept that he can. This hurts him deeply, so it forced me to really sit down and have a talk with MYSELF! He told me once, "Jean! When I hug you you feel soft and lovely. I don't want to feel like I'm hugging another guy!" Oh, I laughed until I cried. But it helped me see his perspective. He said most Egyptian guys like a softer woman. I don't know if its true or he's trying to make me feel better. Haha.

Gosh I know he reads this sometimes and if I say too much, he'll strangle me. haha. Make up is something he likes but says if I'm not in the mood to mess with it, no big deal. His "thing" was pushing me to change my hair color. I was brunette and had NEVER changed the color so I was resistant, but one evening he and my dear friend from Ireland went out and bought "honey blonde" hair color. They plopped me down in a chair, put on some Elvis Preseley tunes, and they both took a bottle in their gloved hands and had at me while boogie-ing down. Mohammed had a BALL. He's so funny. Anyway, ever since then I have officially been a honey (somewhat red) blonde... AND I LOVE IT!!!! So thanks honey! Wow... when cultures collide, eh???

[sarah and hicham 3]

Oh no! Don't get the tatoo! you'll have it forever! (I'm sure you know that) I have blondish hair as well and I have found that Clinique eye liner is great! It sets after about 30 seconds and I have never had it smudge. Also, that way you can use different colors, I use a brown, black, and sometime a dark dark purple that it great for green eyes! I think it's 14 bucks for one thing of eye liner but it lasts forever. Just in case you wanted to know!

Sarah

[MaryandMian 1]

Ladies I am reading and not posting on all topics. I am learning alot from you and bringing up some questions for us once he is in the states. I will respond to the weight issue. I would love to lose weight and if I look like I have dropped a few pounds Ishteaq sees me in the camera and he is like no no Chando are you not eating? I am like yes I am eating just cutting back or walking more. He is saying I do not thin so I know he prefers womanly figures. He also has said what you ladies have said he wants to feel soft and not bones.

Swimming is an issue that I am not sure how it will go? This has made me think alot and I looked at the link for the Islamic wear and looks more like loungewear and not swimwear.

So excuse me if I am reading more than chimming in. You ladies have given me some things to think about and wonder how reactions will be once he is here?

[sarah and hicham 3]

This may be a stupid question but for those women here who wear that swimwear in the picture- do you go in the water? If you want to go in the water what do you wear?

Just curious, because when I was in Morocco most women who stayed covered up stayed on the beach under their umbrellas, but I was just wondering.

K thanks.

Sarah

[honeyblonde 0]

I just wanted to add that my honey's opinion of me is enough too. When I hear the whistles or whatever, I don't even look to see who did it. For all I know it could be some 90 year old blind guy whistling for his seeing eye dog. It's just the feeling you get when someone thinks you're hot and has to comment. I didn't really notice it was gone until it happened once after many years of not happening. As you age you start to realize you aren't going to be young and hot forever, and I really am thankful that I met a man I know I can grow old with and who loves me for all of me.

When I commented to Abdel last night that I thought he only saw the inside of me and I loved him for that, he was shocked. He told me "Oh no, I think you're beautiful outside too!" You should have seen the look on his face.

[Veiled Princess 1]

This may be a stupid question but for those women here who wear that swimwear in the picture- do you go in the water? If you want to go in the water what do you wear?

Just curious, because when I was in Morocco most women who stayed covered up stayed on the beach under their umbrellas, but I was just wondering.

K thanks.

Sarah

From what I've gathered about that swimsuit is that the material is appropriate for actually going in the water. I love to swim and so I'm hoping it works well. If I don't get a chance to buy it before swimming season I'll probably just wear a pair of spandex pants and a BIG long sleeve t-shirt with a scarf or a cap over my hair.

[dlg 0]

Wow, I am glad to see I'm not alone on this. My husband would be thrilled if I wore the Hijab and Djalaba. I did notice the looks I would get there, and at first he didn't notice. I thought to myelf...Hell no, I'm not going to bring it up, but he finally noticed. OMG he was mad. But after so many stares we just started to laugh about it.

Okay girls, now I am curious what your SO's say about swimsuits. Well I told my husband that I have a nice modest swimsuit. Two piece, but it is a tank top and boy shorts. I showed him and the webcam and he said "no way". lol Then he sent me a link of "appropriate" swimsuits....check it out...

http://www.pamspaulding.com/graphics/1islamicswimsuit.jpg

This will be interesting to say the least.

I have many more stories, but at the moment this one just seems the funniest.

I wasn't going to comment on this post until I got to this one....

I like this swimsuit and plan on buying one like it sometime before (or shortly after) the pool opens at my apartment complex. Maybe you don't like it but for those of us who observe the Islamic dress code on a daily basis in public, this type of swimsuit is perfect! If you ladies like to wear bikinis or whatever else in public that is your business but please don't make fun of the ones who are trying to be modest. Thanks

Not making fun at all...to each his own and I respect your reasons and anyone else who can wear this. I simply can't handle the heat. If you like it...then

O.K., I have to admit, I had a great laugh at the photo. Not because I want to ridicule the women or make fun of them, but entirely because of my own thoughts as I was opening the photo... Was not at all what I thought I would see as I clicked away. Once again reminded me to expect some surprises along the road to really getting to know each other and our cultural differences. Thus far some have made me laugh, and some have made us both cry. In all, it is so wonderful to feel honest and genuine love where I never expected I would find it.

Thank all of you for your honesty and sharing!! It is really helping me through some of my cautions and stresses and my love and I embark on this journey together!

Thank you and best wishes to you all.

[Together4ever 1]

This may be a stupid question but for those women here who wear that swimwear in the picture- do you go in the water? If you want to go in the water what do you wear?

Just curious, because when I was in Morocco most women who stayed covered up stayed on the beach under their umbrellas, but I was just wondering.

K thanks.

Sarah

I didn't see the link, but I can tell you when we went the beach in Alexandria (we did this a lot just to walk and watch the sun set) most of the women did not go in the water. Those who did just went in in their full cover. On a few beaches you would see some of the younger girls (not tourists) in western style swim suits, but good things were never said about them. Mohammed would growl and look away. I'm not a swimmer and neither is he so this is an issue we will probably never face. I've always been too timid about my body to do the swim suit thing anyway.

[jordanianprincess 0]

When I went to the beaches in Jordan, everyone I saw was in a swimsuit, lol, except my cousin. She is really shy and refused to put one on and used her PJ's instead.

I think we have all been through that period where we threw on a big t-shirt over our swimsuit, but the problem with that was it always made me so cold. Do these "islamic" swimsuits do the same thing? Or are they made of the same fabric swimsuits are made of? I would imagine being the water would be ok, but once you get out it would take forever to dry off.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

anyways here's a questions where can i find palestinian dresses??? you know the kind that have the embroidery on it. I love wearing those around in the home after work. sooo comfy and plus my husband likes the way i look in them.

Palestinian embroidery (al tatreez shoghul eed) is one of the traditional handicrafts of Palestinian women in the villages, and it's extrememly beautiful. I have a lovely embroidered fringed shawl I bought a few years ago in Ramallah. It was the spring of 2002, during the massive Israeli invasion (remember when they destroyed the camp in Jenin ?) Things were really hard in the West Bank... the roads were closed to Palestinian traffic, most cities were under continuous curfew for weeks, even months, and prices went down to rock bottom. People were just desperate for any money at all. I think I paid like $30 for the shawl.... they're around $100 normally. I also have many of the embroidered pillowcases, wall hangings and table runners. I gave many items to family and friends as gifts -- people are just amazed and delighted by their unique beauty and quality.

Here is a link with some great color photos of some of these dresses, so people can see what we're talking about. You can order online from them, but you have to email them for the prices.

http://www.tatreez.net/dresses.htm

But Angel it might actually be less expensive to have one of your husband's family buy dresses in Jordan and ship them to you in the U.S. Many of the online stores are charging three and four hundred dollars for these dresses. I'm not sure what prices are like in Jordan these days, but even with the shipping cost (which is not cheap) it might be much less than what you'd pay at these online stores or even at an import shop in the U.S.

I always stock up when I'm over there !

-MK

[jordanianprincess 0]

anyways here's a questions where can i find palestinian dresses??? you know the kind that have the embroidery on it. I love wearing those around in the home after work. sooo comfy and plus my husband likes the way i look in them.

But Angel it might actually be less expensive to have one of your husband's family buy dresses in Jordan and ship them to you in the U.S. Many of the online stores are charging three and four hundred dollars for these dresses. I'm not sure what prices are like in Jordan these days, but even with the shipping cost (which is not cheap) it might be much less than what you'd pay at these online stores or even at an import shop in the U.S.

I got one while in Jordan from Downtown Amman (Balad) it was 20 JD's (about 30dollars) It's similar to the pali ones, but it was a traditional Jordanian style. They have both kinds.

[honeyblonde 0]

Wow, at those prices I need to get some patterns and start embroidering again. I used to love cross stitch and more traditional embroidery, but since I started school I haven't had time for any.

[iceyspots 0]

No water for me