A bit o humor at NVC's expense....

[KGSodie 0]

Man Discovers Black Hole On Earth

An Omaha man recently discovered a black hole here on the surface of the Earth, where physicists had long thought them impossible to exist. "I wasn't looking for a black hole" he said "I was just trying to get a visa for my fiancee". Skeptical astronomers and physicists alike were quick to deride Mr. Smotherman, the accidental discoverer of the phenomenon, but his findings were recently verified by the renowned physicist Dr. Ima Phake.

Says Dr. Phake: "In a normal black hole, the gravitational force is so strong that no substance, not even light itself, can escape it's awesome power. In this new form of black hole, confirmed to exist at the National Visa Center in New Hampshire, the bureaucratic tangles are so dense that no information of any kind is able to escape its grasp. It's really quite remarkable." When asked how he was able to verify the existence of the black hole at the NVC, Dr Phake responded "It was actually simplicity itself. I began by using their documented 'preferred' contact method: email. I set up sophisticated sensors capable of detecting even the most minute particles of information, then sent them an email request for case status. When my equipment failed to register the receipt of any information whatsoever I began to grow very excited. But there are other ways of information emission so I checked those too. I called and accessed their automated system, but as near as my sensors were able to detect, there was no information at all present. Lastly, I contacted them directly and spoke with an entity which described itself as "Nomad" or possibly "Nimrod". It was difficult to discern due to the poor connection, quite possibly caused by the immense no-information field that must be present there, and this is when things really got interesting. While speaking with this entity, not only did my equipment fail to register the presence of any information, but all of the documents closest to my telephone began to have the ink sucked right off them! This information 'dead-zone' was so strong that not only could no information already located at the NVC escape, but it was also sucking up all the information in its vicinity! I expect to post the video of this incident on YouTube later today Also, my name is pronounced 'Pahake'!!"

Mr. Smotherman was not available for comment when this article went to press, but in a previously released statement he had this to say: "I was never trying to discover anything as startling or important as this black hole. I do not seek fame, nor notoriety, nor monetary gain from this thing. I only want to find out when my K-1 visa paperwork is being sent to the embassy in Moscow! Nothing more! Is that too much to ask???"

[LadyJane 1]

LMAO!

[MHS 0]

Man Discovers Black Hole On Earth

An Omaha man recently discovered a black hole here on the surface of the Earth, where physicists had long thought them impossible to exist. "I wasn't looking for a black hole" he said "I was just trying to get a visa for my fiancee". Skeptical astronomers and physicists alike were quick to deride Mr. Smotherman, the accidental discoverer of the phenomenon, but his findings were recently verified by the renowned physicist Dr. Ima Phake.

Says Dr. Phake: "In a normal black hole, the gravitational force is so strong that no substance, not even light itself, can escape it's awesome power. In this new form of black hole, confirmed to exist at the National Visa Center in New Hampshire, the bureaucratic tangles are so dense that no information of any kind is able to escape its grasp. It's really quite remarkable." When asked how he was able to verify the existence of the black hole at the NVC, Dr Phake responded "It was actually simplicity itself. I began by using their documented 'preferred' contact method: email. I set up sophisticated sensors capable of detecting even the most minute particles of information, then sent them an email request for case status. When my equipment failed to register the receipt of any information whatsoever I began to grow very excited. But there are other ways of information emission so I checked those too. I called and accessed their automated system, but as near as my sensors were able to detect, there was no information at all present. Lastly, I contacted them directly and spoke with an entity which described itself as "Nomad" or possibly "Nimrod". It was difficult to discern due to the poor connection, quite possibly caused by the immense no-information field that must be present there, and this is when things really got interesting. While speaking with this entity, not only did my equipment fail to register the presence of any information, but all of the documents closest to my telephone began to have the ink sucked right off them! This information 'dead-zone' was so strong that not only could no information already located at the NVC escape, but it was also sucking up all the information in its vicinity! I expect to post the video of this incident on YouTube later today Also, my name is pronounced 'Pahake'!!"

Mr. Smotherman was not available for comment when this article went to press, but in a previously released statement he had this to say: "I was never trying to discover anything as startling or important as this black hole. I do not seek fame, nor notoriety, nor monetary gain from this thing. I only want to find out when my K-1 visa paperwork is being sent to the embassy in Moscow! Nothing more! Is that too much to ask???"

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

You actually had me for a moment! That was good!

[Delicia 1]

[KGSodie 0]

I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. I was just blowing off a little steam while waiting for our interview date.

Thanks!

[Nutty 2]

Loved iT!!!!