How many of you really know and understand

[Nasturtium 500]

the first time i went to my husbands house...i complimented his mother on her tea pot and asked her where i could buy a similar one...so she ran to the back with it, cleaned it out, wrapped it in bubble wrap, and gave it to me! boy did i feel guilty!! i just meant to say it was nice and to show me where to buy my own!

Yeah, before I went over the first time our professor made sure to tell us about this! he said to say something general rather than specific.. and it works.. so instead of telling someone they have on a nice hijab, you can say they look really pretty today!

[ya falaha! 0]

I've experienced the same on a couple occasions. The first happened years ago when I was visiting my ex's friend's wife. I commented on her prayer outfit and asked where I could buy one. She went in the other room, took it off, put it in a bag and handed it to me. I felt so embarrased! I refused it several times but still ended up going home with it. Another time my SIL bought a few new galabiyas and was showing them to me. I told her how beautiful one of them was so she gave it to me. Again, I felt so shy about it. I've now learned to keep compliments like that to myself.

the first time i went to my husbands house...i complimented his mother on her tea pot and asked her where i could buy a similar one...so she ran to the back with it, cleaned it out, wrapped it in bubble wrap, and gave it to me! boy did i feel guilty!! i just meant to say it was nice and to show me where to buy my own!

[Imua 0]

For some reason, I feel like they are always telling me to eat, that I don't eat enough, and I eat like an infant!

"Um, Aama-ji, if I eat so little then why did I gain 5 pounds on my last visit to Nepal????"

[Nutty 2]

Yes, I understand what your saying....

My husband is knows how to operate in Iran....However, when he gets here it will be a big adjustment for him. The process of "selling yourself" in the interview process of getting a job. How people relate to one another here. I think he will find Americans very superficial. He speaks good English, but slowly because he searchs his mind for the correct grammer. However, people here speak very fast and it will be hard for him intitially. He has already commented that Americans tend to be "open" and "up front" telling other people about their problems, while Iranians tend to not to talk about themselves or their troubles too much.

I know my husband won't become a control freak because he is extremely liberal with me. Since I know my husband takes great care to respect who I am and give me my freedoms, I try to please him, modify my independent ways and make him feel comfortable.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Also, Egyptians in particular have a habit of refusing things at first even if they actually want them. To them, refusing initially is proper etiquette. They offer food and other offerings multiple times to make sure if you really want them. My husband has had to clarify on a few occasions that Americans generally will accept things right away if they are wanted.

Very true It's like -- "nooooo don't go to all that trouble of making tea just for little ole me !!!" Elaborate social etiquette, but it is so graceful and takes such care to avoid offending feelings.

But to refuse to accept any food (or to eat very very little of something) may also be interpreted as if you didn't care for the food at all. It's a fine line to walk.... Becoming familiar with local cultural habits is a must for travelers -- otherwise, you can end up with a lot of misunderstandings on both sides !

It's funny... what seems like wonderful friendliness to the unwitting could be actually a huge insult to one's honor or reputation. For instance, I know of a woman who travelled alone to a MENA country, where all these men would approach her and offer to show her around, give her rides on their minibikes, even invite her to their apartments for drinks or a cozy meal. She thought it was so nice and kind of them. LOL.

[Nasturtium 500]

WOM-- I mastered the slow-two-handed eating. You make sure to always have somehting in your mouth and your right hand... and you just slowly eat.. like one grape at a time. That was how I got out of the not eating enough versus too much for what i felt like (which was nothing).

[ya falaha! 0]

An acquaintance of mine went to Egypt alone as a tourist. She was completely unaware of the culture and the behavior of some Egyptian men. Initially she was very flattered by the attention she was getting and all of the invites and such. She's a very friendly, affectionate woman. She's used to hugging friends including male friends. She caught on after a few very inappropriate advances that some Egyptian men view Western women as sex objects who are willing to put out to any and all men. They interpreted her friendliness and affection as being loose.

It's funny... what seems like wonderful friendliness to the unwitting could be actually a huge insult to one's honor or reputation. For instance, I know of a woman who travelled alone to a MENA country, where all these men would approach her and offer to show her around, give her rides on their minibikes, even invite her to their apartments for drinks or a cozy meal. She thought it was so nice and kind of them. LOL.

Edited November 29, 2007 by moody

[chaishai 1]

I've experienced the same on a couple occasions. The first happened years ago when I was visiting my ex's friend's wife. I commented on her prayer outfit and asked where I could buy one. She went in the other room, took it off, put it in a bag and handed it to me. I felt so embarrased! I refused it several times but still ended up going home with it. Another time my SIL bought a few new galabiyas and was showing them to me. I told her how beautiful one of them was so she gave it to me. Again, I felt so shy about it. I've now learned to keep compliments like that to myself.

the first time i went to my husbands house...i complimented his mother on her tea pot and asked her where i could buy a similar one...so she ran to the back with it, cleaned it out, wrapped it in bubble wrap, and gave it to me! boy did i feel guilty!! i just meant to say it was nice and to show me where to buy my own!

My MIL (tunisian jew in israel) does this all of the time. I stopped complementing because I dont want her to give things to me. She is constantly complementing my stuff too though and I sometimes think the MO is so that Ill give it to her.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Yeah hugging to me as an American is like the two kisses on the cheeks when meeting or saying Goodbye to Europeans.

When I hugged my Husband's bestfriend to show my gratefulness for his hospitality I didn't know I did anything wrong. His bestfriend apologize for five minutes to my Husband while I got on the bus back to Cairo. It wasn't until I got back to the US that I knew I did anything wrong and what they were talking about outside the bus.

An acquaintance of mine went to Egypt alone as a tourist. She was completely unaware of the culture and the behavior of some Egyptian men. Initially she was very flattered by the attention she was getting and all of the invites and such. She's a very friendly, affectionate woman. She's used to hugging friends including male friends. She caught on after a few very inappropriate advances that some Egyptian men view Western women as sex objects who are willing to put out to any and all men. They interpreted her friendliness and affection as being loose.

It's funny... what seems like wonderful friendliness to the unwitting could be actually a huge insult to one's honor or reputation. For instance, I know of a woman who travelled alone to a MENA country, where all these men would approach her and offer to show her around, give her rides on their minibikes, even invite her to their apartments for drinks or a cozy meal. She thought it was so nice and kind of them. LOL.

[SandyNJack 5]

When I went back to Egypt in Feb my SO had to work one day and I was walking along the sea and this nice guy started walking and talking with me. I did not think anything of it but apparently walking with a man is a big deal there. I won't do that again.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I encountered this as well and left weighing much more then when I arrived. I would get scalding looks if I just ordered a salad or didn't finish my food. I tried to explain to them but to no avail.

Finally I gave up and just accepted everything.

I even accepted this robe his family was letting me use because my luggage was lost by the airlines for two weeks. When it came time to leave I packed the robe even though I didn't want it. Then the strangest thing happened. I got to the next destination and the robe wasn't in my bag. I think the family took it out before I left. I remember they created this diversion while my Husband went to look for a ride in the villiage. The Grandma told one of the Aunts to show me the new doors put into one of the Uncle's apartments on the house. So while we were there watching the rode for my Husband my bags were downstairs. I think that's when they got it. lol. I am relieved because I didn't want it but it was a really funny way of dancing around the robe.

They give it to me but don't really want to give it to me. I accept it but don't really want to accept it. It's all confusing and waste of time if we're just honest with each other.

For some reason, I feel like they are always telling me to eat, that I don't eat enough, and I eat like an infant!

Edited November 29, 2007 by OlivianWaleed

[ayesha4akram 0]

An acquaintance of mine went to Egypt alone as a tourist. She was completely unaware of the culture and the behavior of some Egyptian men. Initially she was very flattered by the attention she was getting and all of the invites and such. She's a very friendly, affectionate woman. She's used to hugging friends including male friends. She caught on after a few very inappropriate advances that some Egyptian men view Western women as sex objects who are willing to put out to any and all men. They interpreted her friendliness and affection as being loose.

It's funny... what seems like wonderful friendliness to the unwitting could be actually a huge insult to one's honor or reputation. For instance, I know of a woman who travelled alone to a MENA country, where all these men would approach her and offer to show her around, give her rides on their minibikes, even invite her to their apartments for drinks or a cozy meal. She thought it was so nice and kind of them. LOL.

Ughhhh, one night (of course in Egypt it's like living as owls or vampires going out mostly at night), we went out and I got thirsty so we stopped at a store to get me some water. The store was full so I told him I would wait by the door while he went to buy water. There was a man sitting in front of the store, who said something in arabic, so I told him, I'm sorry I don't understand. He got up and offered me the chair he was sitting on. So I'm thinking ohhh how kind! Akram was livid when he got out and gave that man a look!! And I immediately got up to him and said, "please, don't start!! this man was kind enough to offer me his chair". As we were walking away, he told me, "you don't understand. It's after midnight and 'good girls' aren't alone on the street after a certain time. I wanted him to know that you weren't alone"

P.S. To this day, I still think he was a gentleman to offer me his chair

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Oh yes. We were staying in a flat in the European District near the Egyptian Stock Market and one morning when my Husband ran alone out to get me some medicine because I was sick and resting he was stopped and questioned about him being seen walking with me. He explained I was his wife. The man asked to see his papers. My Husband replied, "Are you married?" The man said, "Yes." My Husband asked, "Show me your papers then." The man didn't like this and asked again for the papers. My Husband said, "Sorry it's none of your business." Then promptly left.

When I went back to Egypt in Feb my SO had to work one day and I was walking along the sea and this nice guy started walking and talking with me. I did not think anything of it but apparently walking with a man is a big deal there. I won't do that again.

[ya falaha! 0]

Oh it's definitely a big deal. An even bigger deal if your SO's neighbors or family witness it.

When I went back to Egypt in Feb my SO had to work one day and I was walking along the sea and this nice guy started walking and talking with me. I did not think anything of it but apparently walking with a man is a big deal there. I won't do that again.

[JeanneVictoria 55]

What I have come to realize is 'WHEN IN ROME DO AS THE ROMANS DO' and just enjoy everything that you do. I love it!!