Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 5)

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Somebody SLAP meeeee...just finish a bowl of rice n peas fi KIMMY... now mi wah sleep

Kim I hope you liked it.

Luv yah

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Has anyone hear from Phatmadame ? haven't seen her in a while....hope all is well...

[*JG* 2]

how can u force someone to change just b/c ur married now..it is all compromise...u give a little I givew a little..often one spouse forces the other away b/c of the demands that are put on him/her

inevitably change ur way of thinking ?..hmm i've seen adjustment and let me tell u that the way of thinking has not changed one bit..when they get out of their work or friends they go right back to being what/who they are...how many of these older men u see in this country and move right back to JA..

I didn't say forced to change. I said they changed. And, yes, I do believe some of it is cause of marriage and the different situations experience.

My husband has changed. Most of it was due to adjustment.....the things he has experienced in the last 2 years have impacted his outlook and expectations on a lot of things. I've seen him change and grow....a lot of it actually has to do with his leadership role at work and the expectations they have on him.

I doubt either of us could go back anymore. My philosophy is always that every day you experience something that makes you learn and grow.

[dancehallquana 5]

dyam ya'll really chatting today fi true

I agree..Wow I am gone for one day and look what all I miss lol

I enjoyed u comments about JA men not adjusting to a strong woman. I believe it is some men in general.. I was in a relationship for a LONG time and even though we had worked TOGETHER to get alot of the things (car, home, etc), he still had a resentful attitude toward me at times because HE felt less than, not because of anything I had done. If we were dicussing something maybe he didn't agree w/ my answer, he would be like, "Alright college girl or everybody don't have a degree" I am also kind of the "go to" person in my family and at church so when someone would complement me on something I'd done, he would sometimes downplay it.

All that was fine, but when he started refusing to be apart of things like planning our kids bday parties or vacations and things and then being mad at me cause I did it all by myself and didn't come to him for help, I was like HECK NO.. They make us be independent and then get mad cause we are?!? I told him, I have asked u to do things, and either u don't seem interested or you don't come through so I have to do it by myself and pretty soon u get used to that and it is second nature. He would say that I wasn't letting him be the man and I don't respect him..

Like some of you said, I am really good at stroking the male ego and taking the backburner. I nver threw any accomplishment up in his face or INTENTIONALLY tried to keep him out of decisons that I made. We are a team, if I shine, then u shine right??

But sometimes, it is beyond anything that the woman can do or say.. I believe he had been damaged goods even before I met him, his mother was a VERY strong (actually controlling) woman and he didn't feel supported by her and much of his family, so that stinking thinking just projected to every relationship.

OH BY THE WAY LADIES, I shared w/ you that RG was applying for the B2 Visa, well he was approved YAYYYY for 10 years. mi sey, wa ya do bwoy, promise di immigration offica a likkle lubbin'??? LOL Hopefully he can visit nxt month..so Kimmy I guess mi can save mi money for Sunfest!!!

[SupportOAFJF 0]

why is it that these men are the only ones that need to grow, mature, learn all this ####### ? CONTROL...and I don't want a man I can control nor visa versa

Edited February 26, 2008 by kimmykashi

[Jengles 0]

glad for those wonderful view points, while some people do change. there are men, who will not change certain things about themselves or what they want and will say that upfront, . and there are women who ignore these statements and proceed. men will change only what they want to and no I don't think i'm kidding myself when I say that

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Quana..u si..OMG big congrats to u guys...thank God

[Jengles 0]

Somebody SLAP meeeee...just finish a bowl of rice n peas fi KIMMY... now mi wah sleep

Kim I hope you liked it.

Luv yah

wait deh, u nah give kimmy some dessert, lawd G_d (just for lita) see how u mean. what u want kimmy apple pie and ice cream oops, sorry is me want dat

[*JG* 2]

glad for those wonderful view points, while some people do change. there are men, who will not change certain things about themselves or what they want and will say that upfront, . and there are women who ignore these statements and proceed. men will change only what they want to and no I don't think i'm kidding myself when I say that

Which sort of goes back to what Yardie said.....If a woman says something about her independence up front, why is it thought she must change?

No matter what the issues, if the two parties involved make it work for them, there isn't a problem in the world that can't be overcome.

[Shemmy 4]

Quana..u si..OMG big congrats to u guys...thank God

Ditto. Congrats

[*JG* 2]

why is it that these men are the only ones that need to grow, mature, learn all this ####### ? CONTROL...and I don't want a man I can control nor visa versa

Why does adaptation or change have to be about control? Why can't it be something that two people work out in their own relationship to suit how they live their lives?

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Somebody SLAP meeeee...just finish a bowl of rice n peas fi KIMMY... now mi wah sleep

Kim I hope you liked it.

Luv yah

wait deh, u nah give kimmy some dessert, lawd G_d (just for lita) see how u mean. what u want kimmy apple pie and ice cream oops, sorry is me want dat

ahahahaaa...mi want it all...mi want di apple pie wid ice cream fi dessert and Lawny tanks fi lunch...

[nannygirl82 0]

why is it that these men are the only ones that need to grow, mature, learn all this ####### ? CONTROL...and I don't want a man I can control nor visa versa

i think it is the way a lot of them are programed... a lot of the times women are SO much more mature than a male her same age....that is why the book men are from mars and women are from venus is such a bestseller

[Jengles 0]

Quana..u si..OMG big congrats to u guys...thank God

i second the congrats. all this typing and posting, i was like why is kimmy telling her congrats and quana did even file yet, I had to scroll up to see the post.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

why is it that these men are the only ones that need to grow, mature, learn all this ####### ? CONTROL...and I don't want a man I can control nor visa versa

Why does adaptation or change have to be about control? Why can't it be something that two people work out in their own relationship to suit how they live their lives?

yea why does it have to be about what YOU want changed...sounds like it all comes back to compromise to me...why HE has to give up...why can't you share..like I said before....u give a little I give a little...When u always win doesn't sound like what 2 ppl want to me sounds like I'M in CONTROL..so watch it