past relationships?

[Nasturtium 500]

I've heard that many ME men have a problem reconciling what they *know* which si that what you did was normal for here.. and that there girls and men DO date but it's more secretive.. versus their cultural ideal of marrying the virgin and what the standards are for their culture-- basically what CAladan said above. So you get a problem he just can't seem to get over. He either needs to get past it or he will not be able to funciton int he relationship. I told my husband ONCE about my past, which was really pretty tame and he doesn't even remember it-- and he never brings him (my ex-husband) up. I occasionally rib him about his past, but I don't ask a lot of questions because he made it clear he didn't want to remember.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Just a quick flashback I thought I'd share...it stays here, right? haha

Anyway, there was a moment when we were way on top of one of the stone colleseum bleachers looking over Jerash. We could see so much, so far it was like being on top of the world and I started giggling to myself because all I could think was "Wowwww, I am the biggest ####### for miles and miles and miles and miles..." I am certainly not at all (by local standards ) so I don't know why I was thinking that. When he asked what I was laughing about I just said we should get down now.

dawn you are funny as hell...........

[LaL 418]

Just a quick flashback I thought I'd share...it stays here, right? haha

Anyway, there was a moment when we were way on top of one of the stone colleseum bleachers looking over Jerash. We could see so much, so far it was like being on top of the world and I started giggling to myself because all I could think was "Wowwww, I am the biggest ####### for miles and miles and miles and miles..." I am certainly not at all (by local standards ) so I don't know why I was thinking that. When he asked what I was laughing about I just said we should get down now.

lmaoooo this is the funniest thing I have read in a long time

thanks Dawnie!!!!!

[MelindaandTarek 0]

Just a quick flashback I thought I'd share...it stays here, right? haha

Anyway, there was a moment when we were way on top of one of the stone colleseum bleachers looking over Jerash. We could see so much, so far it was like being on top of the world and I started giggling to myself because all I could think was "Wowwww, I am the biggest ####### for miles and miles and miles and miles..." I am certainly not at all (by local standards ) so I don't know why I was thinking that. When he asked what I was laughing about I just said we should get down now.

haha that was hilarious!! ty for sharing...i really needed the comic relief!!!!

[Fandango 1,439]

why can't he accept me for who i am (and who i was)

I don't have advice for you as this topic is not an issue for me, but I just want to say that my heart broke for you when I read this particular sentence. I hope you both are able to get past this problem.

Good luck

Edited November 18, 2007 by LisaD

[Nutty 2]

I'm sorry your SO is having problems with accepting that you had past relationships. It is a old fashioned mentality. A combination of wanting a "pure" wife mixed while probably comparing himself to your previous relationships (just a guess as to where this is coming from)

I don't know what to say, other than when he mentions how it bothers him, take him in your arms are remind him that you love him, you went through hell (immigration process) to bring him over. Boost his ego, tell him that you never knew what love was until you met him, that he is a wonderful lover....etc, etc.

I was married once before and had previous relationships/some serious bad experiences (not many compared to western standards). But I felt compelled to tell my husband before we married. I was really shocked how well he handled it. I kind of expected more of a reaction. Especially since he is muslim. All he said was, "That is in the past. But you are mine now and I am your husband." And since we have been married he never dwells on the topic. IT IS TRUELY IN THE PAST. I guess it comes down to the fact my husband is very confident of himself.

Edited November 18, 2007 by Nutty