Things your husband/fiance does that drives you crazy.

[Nutty 2]

Expectation of being served by the wife....

When it comes to men "expecting to be served" by their wives, I see it like this....In their home country back in ME, the man of the house is responsible for providing roof, food and taking care of financial responsibilties. These are things the wife should never concern herself with. In exchange, the wife provides comfort and care (ie, clean house, meals and attention).

But if the man is not doing part of the bargain....then he should not expect the wife to "jump" when called or take for granted what he does around the house.

It's something to do with traditional gender roles and MATURITY.

I consider myself very lucky in many ways. My husband is self relient, helpful around the house and extremely practical about financial matters. He really is a considerate person in all that he does.

When my husband and I lived together....He never expected me to "serve" him in anyway. He eats leftovers, likes to cook for himself, make his own lunch for work, prefers to be tidy, when I begin to clean house he hovers around me to help, when we go to bed he brings me a glass of water and literally "tucks" me in.

When it comes to finances, my husband is extremely practical and planning for the future. I guess since he is the eldest of the remaining brothers still living in the family house (Father passed away). He is the one who handles all the bills.

Like I said, I find myself blessed.

Edited October 25, 2007 by Nutty

[mybackpages 0]

Expectation of being served by the wife....

When it comes to men "expecting to be served" by their wives, I see it like this....In their home country back in ME, the man of the house is responsible for providing roof, food and taking care of financial responsibilties. These are things the wife should never concern herself with. In exchange, the wife provides comfort and care (ie, clean house, meals and attention).

But if the man is not doing part of the bargain....then he should not expect the wife to "jump" when called or take for granted what he does around the house.

It's something to do with traditional gender roles and MATURITY.

I consider myself very lucky in many ways. My husband is self relient, helpful around the house and extremely practical about financial matters. He really is a considerate person in all that he does.

When my husband and I lived together....He never expected me to "serve" him in anyway. He eats leftovers, likes to cook for himself, make his own lunch for work, prefers to be tidy, when I begin to clean house he hovers around me to help, when we go to bed he brings me a glass of water and literally "tucks" me in.

When it comes to finances, my husband is extremely practical and planning for the future. I guess since he is the eldest of the remaining brothers still living in the family house (Father passed away). He is the one who handles all the bills.

Like I said, I find myself blessed.

You are not the only one

[Nutty 2]

I don't know what country your husband and in laws are from. But my in laws are from Iran and I lived in India for many years. So I have some understanding of "non-western/American" culture.

It's good your Mother in law is there to see how you two live together. She'll be happy to see you caring and pampering her son. But on the other hand she should also be in your corner when he becomes lazy, petulent or demanding. Especially if he is not handling his "Husband" responsibilities or providing HOUSE AND SUPPORT which is the traditional duties of a husband.

[Mr and Mrs Bird 0]

When he say to me. We shall watch football today. A thing we have waited for I don't know how long.

Then I say. Who is we? LOL

[♥JP♥ 5]

I don't know what country your husband and in laws are from. But my in laws are from Iran and I lived in India for many years. So I have some understanding of "non-western/American" culture.

It's good your Mother in law is there to see how you two live together. She'll be happy to see you caring and pampering her son. But on the other hand she should also be in your corner when he becomes lazy, petulent or demanding. Especially if he is not handling his "Husband" responsibilities or providing HOUSE AND SUPPORT which is the traditional duties of a husband.

Ok back up here. The fact that he asks me for a glass of water doesnt mean he isnt providing house and support or that he isnt handling his "husband responsibilities". I will also on occasion ask him to get me stuff and he does get it.

I also have some understand of non/western/american culture bcz I'm actually arabic and grew up in the culture. My husband and his family are from Jordan like me. I don't know where you got any of this from but this thread is about pet peeves and you are making alot of assumptions that aren't true.

[yassmine2878 1]

Expectation of being served by the wife....

When it comes to men "expecting to be served" by their wives, I see it like this....In their home country back in ME, the man of the house is responsible for providing roof, food and taking care of financial responsibilties. These are things the wife should never concern herself with. In exchange, the wife provides comfort and care (ie, clean house, meals and attention).

But if the man is not doing part of the bargain....then he should not expect the wife to "jump" when called or take for granted what he does around the house.

It's something to do with traditional gender roles and MATURITY.

I consider myself very lucky in many ways. My husband is self relient, helpful around the house and extremely practical about financial matters. He really is a considerate person in all that he does.

When my husband and I lived together....He never expected me to "serve" him in anyway. He eats leftovers, likes to cook for himself, make his own lunch for work, prefers to be tidy, when I begin to clean house he hovers around me to help, when we go to bed he brings me a glass of water and literally "tucks" me in.

When it comes to finances, my husband is extremely practical and planning for the future. I guess since he is the eldest of the remaining brothers still living in the family house (Father passed away). He is the one who handles all the bills.

Like I said, I find myself blessed.

You are not the only one

Here, here! Just because we have husbands with quirks doesnt mean we dont enjoy every minute of them . Im tickled pink to have my hubby and wouldnt trade him for anything in the world, crazy habits and all.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I don't know what country your husband and in laws are from. But my in laws are from Iran and I lived in India for many years. So I have some understanding of "non-western/American" culture.

It's good your Mother in law is there to see how you two live together. She'll be happy to see you caring and pampering her son. But on the other hand she should also be in your corner when he becomes lazy, petulent or demanding. Especially if he is not handling his "Husband" responsibilities or providing HOUSE AND SUPPORT which is the traditional duties of a husband.

Ok back up here. The fact that he asks me for a glass of water doesnt mean he isnt providing house and support or that he isnt handling his "husband responsibilities". I will also on occasion ask him to get me stuff and he does get it.

I also have some understand of non/western/american culture bcz I'm actually arabic and grew up in the culture. My husband and his family are from Jordan like me. I don't know where you got any of this from but this thread is about pet peeves and you are making alot of assumptions that aren't true.

he lies 4 and 5 course meals every time he eats with bread and salad....sometimes I just want something fast and there is nothing fast about food in Algeria LOL

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

I hated shopping with my husband in Jordan. It litterally took him over 30 minutes to choose a pair of socks. I finally had to threaten to get angry at him if he didn't just get a pair of socks for GODS sake! LOL

Now that he is going to be here in just a matter of days, I am not looking forward to shopping with him here in the US. Wonder if I can avoid it?

[doodlebug 3]

I hated shopping with my husband in Jordan. It litterally took him over 30 minutes to choose a pair of socks. I finally had to threaten to get angry at him if he didn't just get a pair of socks for GODS sake! LOL

Now that he is going to be here in just a matter of days, I am not looking forward to shopping with him here in the US. Wonder if I can avoid it?

OH I guess I do have a pet peeve then!

When we were in Alexandria there was kind of like an indoor flea market type place about two minutes away from our flat. I don't know how many times I wanted to go in there and he said no. Finally it was the day before I was leaving and I still hadn't bought anything for me or the girls so I said "we're going in there!!!". I found a shirt that I really really liked and he tried to bargain it down with the guy selling it and then told me we're leaving.

We got outside and he called his sister and she told him to go to this huge flea market type place outdoors. I'm like...the one I want is in there!!! He wouldn't hear of it so we had to go aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllll the way to this other place where I think we saved all of 2 egyptian pounds.

I told him he'd better get used to paying sticker price for clothes here 'cause it's not like he can bargain for a shirt in Target. His response, "I will handle this thing when I am there, inshallah"

[SimoFati 0]

OH I guess I do have a pet peeve then!

When we were in Alexandria there was kind of like an indoor flea market type place about two minutes away from our flat. I don't know how many times I wanted to go in there and he said no. Finally it was the day before I was leaving and I still hadn't bought anything for me or the girls so I said "we're going in there!!!". I found a shirt that I really really liked and he tried to bargain it down with the guy selling it and then told me we're leaving.

We got outside and he called his sister and she told him to go to this huge flea market type place outdoors. I'm like...the one I want is in there!!! He wouldn't hear of it so we had to go aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllll the way to this other place where I think we saved all of 2 egyptian pounds.

I told him he'd better get used to paying sticker price for clothes here 'cause it's not like he can bargain for a shirt in Target. His response, "I will handle this thing when I am there, inshallah"

that is cute

[caybee 21]

I hated shopping with my husband in Jordan. It litterally took him over 30 minutes to choose a pair of socks. I finally had to threaten to get angry at him if he didn't just get a pair of socks for GODS sake! LOL

Now that he is going to be here in just a matter of days, I am not looking forward to shopping with him here in the US. Wonder if I can avoid it?

You can't.

How he shops at the Super Stuff-Mart:

Get a cart.

Stroll leisurely up and down every aisle.

Pick up anything that catches your eye. Examine it. Price it. Put it back.

Don't put anything in the cart, even if it's on the list (what list?).

Make a second pass through the whole store.

This time, add items to the cart in order of priority.

Pick up several tomatoes, loaves of bread, etc., until you find just the right ones.

Jump from one checkout line to the other a couple of times, trying to find the shortest line.

How I shop at the Super Stuff-Mart:

Make a list with items grouped by section.

Get a cart or a hand basket, depending on how many items are on the list (the smaller and more maneuverable the basket, the better).

Walk briskly and directly to each item and put it in the cart.

Mumble under breath when groups of people chat and walk two- or three-abreast at a snail's pace in the aisles.

Pick the shortest checkout line and stay there.

Get the heck out of that place as quickly as possible.

We've gradually compromised. We're down to one pass (most of the time), and I go in with him prepared to spend an hour. I force myself to relax, and we both have fun. His way is undoubtedly healthier than mine anyway.

[monnik 0]

WOW. I see a lot of similarities.

Visa in Hand- My husband does the same "I am not hungry" bit. Then, 30 minutes later, after the kitchen has been cleaned & everything has been put away, he's scrambling around in the fridge.

Mona_jamie - The grocery store scene sounds familiar. Except our roles are reversed. I have to take my time. I hate to forget anything & I always want to see every aisle. My husband gets antsy and irritated if we are in ANY store for more than 20 minutes. I DEFINITELY can't go clothes shopping with him. We tried it once and we fought because he isn't patient enough with me. But, I can't shop in Egypt by myself, so now I take a female friend/family member with us & he stands outside until we are done!

I have my quirks, too. I change my mind a lot and it drives him nuts. I also forget about a lot of small things & he gets irritated when I update him 2 weeks later on what someone said or did. Oopsie!

[caybee 21]

WOW. I see a lot of similarities.

Visa in Hand- My husband does the same "I am not hungry" bit. Then, 30 minutes later, after the kitchen has been cleaned & everything has been put away, he's scrambling around in the fridge.

Mona_jamie - The grocery store scene sounds familiar. Except our roles are reversed. I have to take my time. I hate to forget anything & I always want to see every aisle. My husband gets antsy and irritated if we are in ANY store for more than 20 minutes. I DEFINITELY can't go clothes shopping with him. We tried it once and we fought because he isn't patient enough with me. But, I can't shop in Egypt by myself, so now I take a female friend/family member with us & he stands outside until we are done!

I have my quirks, too. I change my mind a lot and it drives him nuts. I also forget about a lot of small things & he gets irritated when I update him 2 weeks later on what someone said or did. Oopsie!

He's the one who wanted to go shopping the most in Morocco. I enjoyed it, but I felt intimidated. He also insists that I buy clothes for myself from time to time. He'll pick something out and ask me to try it on. I think if it weren't for him, all my clothes would be ten years old.

As for meals, he's similar. I'm ready for dinner by 7 pm. He's ready around 11 pm, not usually hungry before that (except during Ramadan). And when he does get hungry, he wants something slow-cooked. He's right -- food tastes better when the heat and spices have been working on it for a couple of hours. But I have to work at being enthusiastic about chopping onions and mixing meatballs at 11 pm. That said, he does jump right in and share the work when he wants something like that. And even if I can't eat that close to bedtime, I've got something good to take for lunch the next day.

[hollyw 0]

One thing that drives me nuts about my husband is he will let his shoes (for example) sit in the living rooms for MONTHS (unless I give in and put them back in the closet), but if I walk in the house and put my bag on the table in the front hall, ten minutes later he's going "why is you bag still in the hall? that's not it's place." He is a neat freak... but only when it's my mess. If his suitcase has been sitting in the middle of our bedroom with clothes still in it since Monday? Apparently that's ok.

[yassmine2878 1]

One thing that drives me nuts about my husband is he will let his shoes (for example) sit in the living rooms for MONTHS (unless I give in and put them back in the closet), but if I walk in the house and put my bag on the table in the front hall, ten minutes later he's going "why is you bag still in the hall? that's not it's place." He is a neat freak... but only when it's my mess. If his suitcase has been sitting in the middle of our bedroom with clothes still in it since Monday? Apparently that's ok.

Yup! LOL. Mine does it, too. He'll leave shoes all over the house, dishes and junk on every horizontal surface, clothes all over the furniture, coins all over the floor (I think he's pooping money, which is good because I prayed for that) and tell me that I "need to organize this house". Or covers the computer desk with crud and then complains because I have all "stuff for nothing" in the bookshelves. LOL

I cant get him to buy new underwear either. He had like, 4 pairs when he arrived (not even enough for a week!) and some of them were turning into granny panties. I finally got fed up and went to Walmart to purchase them myself. There's nothing wrong with taking your time to purchase your own panties. You want the right, cut, size, color, etc. This is an important decision! Men's underwear is completely different. I had no friggin clue there were so many different choices. So here I am wandering around in Walmart, frizzy hair out to there, pregnant belly out to here and I start talking to myself "I just want underwear for heaven's sake!" and people begin to stare. Oh hells bells. I grab the nearest package in his size and make a beeline for the dog food, or something equally innocuous.