My name ain't Stella....

[Jonesie 1]

Ian: How in the he**! Where is my clip? DAMN! PHOCK! Can my day possibly get any more PHOCKED UP!!!!

RRROOOLLLLLLLIIINNNN

[jawi876 2]

Ian: What was that? *Ian is abruptly jolted out of his thoughts when his rental careens into a mile wide pothole. He pulls the car over to the side of the road to survey the damage. Smoke is spiraling from under the hood, one of the front tires is completely busted. Ian opens the hood to find out just how bad things are. The radiator is cracked, and smoke escapes the confines of the car with a loud angry hiss.* TOOOYYYAAA!!!! YOU will pay for this bullsh** babygirl…oh yeah…I’m going to make you pay for all of this sh**! *Ian tried to use his cell phone to call Hertz, but his phone reads “No Signal”. He kicks at the car in frustration, and walks out to wave down help. Ian stands on the side of the road for what seems like hours, before someone finally stops to help.*

[Forever Young 1]

Mi deh yah girl it's Monday and mi waah go home fi a piece a di sumptin wah Mya and Tradee a gwaan wid...dem too hot fi me

HAhaa..u see it..mi caan wait fi gi 'im a chop to ! mi sharpen mi blade already

Hat least yuh caan DRIVE tuh yuh pissa a sittin'...mi haffi 'signal deh plane' or 'row-a-boat' (Lissen sum oldies tunes rightta now...can yuh tell?) tuh mine...SURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPSS.<long dutty disgusting kissteet>

Blessed,

Gill

Edited November 12, 2007 by Deyoungting

[Jonesie 1]

*Ian tells the Hertz rep that he will be back. He goes back to retrace his steps, and is only allowed as far back as the Customs area. Ian’s head is bent low, and he is attempting to scan the floor in the midst of all the travelers. He bumps into someone obviously not watching were they were going either. When he looks up to curse at the idiot, he feels like he has died and gone to heaven. She was amazingly beautiful, full of raw sexual appeal and exuberance. Ian can feel his mouth moving, but the words will not leave his throat. Melodee glances at him with contempt and stifled irritation. She attempts to brush past him, but Ian grabs her arm to halt her departure.*

Ian: Miss…wait. I’m sorry. Please let me apologize for my clumsy faux-pas. I assure you that I am not normally a blundering idiot. But, I must tell you that your exquisite beauty has rendered me speechless. You have to let me take you out for drinks or dinner…you know…to-to make it up to you. It seems that I misplaced something, and I was distracted when I slammed into you. Please accept my sincerest apologies, and my business card for dinner..say tonight? *Ian effortlessly slides his business card into her hand, holding onto her slender fingers longer than necessary. He slickly turns her hand over, and places his lips tenderly to the inside of her wrist.*

Melodee: Eh..eh…Whaa dis eediat tek mi fe? I’m sorry sir. I really have to get back to my duties. Please forgive me for not watching my path more closely. *Melodee glances at the business card and back at Ian. She thinks about her ruined relationship with Delmar.* So you are a stock broker in New York? Really? That sounds interesting. How long are you in Jamaica?

Ian: Yes, I am. It has been a very rewarding career choice if I do say so. *Ian makes a marked effort to flash his cuff links and Rolex.* For you pretty lady, I can be in Jamaica as long as you need me to be. Just say you will at least share drinks with me tonight. I have a business meeting this afternoon, but I could pick you up anytime after…say 7:00 PM?

Melodee: Okay, I guess. Where are you staying…Montego Bay?

Ian: Actually, I’m staying in Ocho Rios, at the Riu. Are you familiar with it? I attempted to book the Royal Plantation Golf Resort and Spa, but alas it was completely booked for my last minute trip.

Melodee: Oh, okay. I’m very familiar with it sir. I am not too far from where you will be on holiday. I will come to meet you, and we can ride together for the drinks…maybe dinner. Now, I really have to get back before I’m missed. *Melodee begins a brisk pace across the wide airport floor.

Ian: WAIT! MISS? I-I DIDN’T GET….your name. DAMN! Ian you are slipping.

*Ian forgets about his missing money clip and walks back to the Hertz Car Rental counter. As he waits on the car, he briefly envisions dragging Toya by her hair kicking and screaming back to the airport. He smiles at the thought, although he would never get away with it with Mya around.

The car rental rep brings the car around, and Ian takes off with a map of Jamaica. He follows highway A1 through Montego Bay. Ian allows the beauty of Jamaica to soothe his frayed nerves. Ian thinks about the cruel news he gave Toya. He had hoped to keep controlling her through manipulation and ploys. The doctor had told him two weeks ago that he was HIV-negative. Ian just neglected to share the news with Toya. He would find a way to use this information to his advantage. He was tired of plotting, and wanted to concentrate on more pleasant matters. Ian thought about his recent interaction with the most beautiful woman that he had ever had the pleasure to meet. Her beauty rivaled Mya’s in that they were on opposite ends of the spectrum of attractiveness. Mya was fair with gray eyes, but Jamaica Beauty was dark and exotic. Toya nestled comfortably somewhere in the middle. When his Jamaican gem spoke, her voice and dictation was impeccable, and had the power to singularly move his groin. Ian knew that it had been a while since a woman had been able to excite him just from the sound of her voice.

Ian thinks that his luck may have changed for the better when he encountered his mysterious Jamaican goddess. Her skin was flawless, like that of a porcelain doll dipped in Godiva chocolates. Ian smiles at the thought that she may just be fine enough to make him forget his investment in Toya. Yeah so far, she just may be a keeper.*

BAM! CLUNK! KLINCK! SSSSSSSSSSSS!

This love triangle is now one full circle...goood lawd!

Ian: What was that? *Ian is abruptly jolted out of his thoughts when his rental careens into a mile wide pothole. He pulls the car over to the side of the road to survey the damage. Smoke is spiraling from under the hood, one of the front tires is completely busted. Ian opens the hood to find out just how bad things are. The radiator is cracked, and smoke escapes the confines of the car with a loud angry hiss.* TOOOYYYAAA!!!! YOU will pay for this bullsh** babygirl…oh yeah…I’m going to make you pay for all of this sh**! *Ian tried to use his cell phone to call Hertz, but his phone reads “No Signal”. He kicks at the car in frustration, and walks out to wave down help. Ian stands on the side of the road for what seems like hours, before someone finally stops to help.*

BUMBOCLAAAAAT PUMS

[Forever Young 1]

Ian: What was that? *Ian is abruptly jolted out of his thoughts when his rental careens into a mile wide pothole. He pulls the car over to the side of the road to survey the damage. Smoke is spiraling from under the hood, one of the front tires is completely busted. Ian opens the hood to find out just how bad things are. The radiator is cracked, and smoke escapes the confines of the car with a loud angry hiss.* TOOOYYYAAA!!!! YOU will pay for this bullsh** babygirl…oh yeah…I’m going to make you pay for all of this sh**! *Ian tried to use his cell phone to call Hertz, but his phone reads “No Signal”. He kicks at the car in frustration, and walks out to wave down help. Ian stands on the side of the road for what seems like hours, before someone finally stops to help.*[/i]

HEHEHE "WELCOME TO JAMAICA" Ian...Yuh Cla*t!! Good fi yuh ras!

[SupportOAFJF 0]

waiiii...eeeeehehee..mi a ded..dyam fool..IAN u r on the isle of POT OLES welcome..u betta have di money ready fi fix the ppl dem cyar plus wah dem a go jack up di price to cause u a farrina

[Forever Young 1]

waiiii...eeeeehehee..mi a ded..dyam fool..IAN u r on the isle of POT OLES welcome..u betta have di money ready fi fix the ppl dem cyar plus wah dem a go jack up di price to cause u a farrina

Kikikikikiiiiiii... awoiiieee...Ian a guh kill mi wid laff tiday! God don't like hugly Ian, Man!! And man dat weh yuh carry on far surpass hugly! Figit bout 'pot' ole...dem ting inna Yardi is more like Dutchie ole! ...a likkle pot tuh noice fi describe dem deh TRANSMISSION BUSTA!!!!

,

Gill

Edited November 12, 2007 by Deyoungting

[phatmadame81 0]

LOL...it's been too long for me. I have to...errr..Mya has to perfect it before it can be released. kikikikiki

mi now mi late................BUT..any bodi else catch dis little "slip of the tongue or is jus mi........jesus mi gal mi know seh you was a wolf inna sheep clothing long time u nuh .i think by the time Mya..yesssssssssssssssssss Mya perfects this video my husband should be back

**********MONDAY CHUCKLE**********

Good Mawning All...Happy Monday!!

I hope everyone had a good weekend!

Blessed,

Gill

********************************************************************************

***

International Airport Test

A study was conducted recently to determine the average crime rate at international airports around the world. The study made use of an ordinary looking man standing in the airport terminal and reading a newspaper.

He had an empty briefcase next to him, which he would ignore. Observers then recorded how long it took for the briefcase to be snatched.

In Brussels, Belgium the case was stolen within 4 minutes and 20 seconds.

In Washington DC it was stolen within 3 minutes and 16 seconds.

At Heathrow, London the briefcase was snatched in less than 2 minutes.

In New York, the case was stolen within 1 minute and 5 seconds.

In Los Angeles it took only 43 seconds before the case was snatched.

In Kingston, Jamaica, the people conducting the study were robbed on the way to the airport and the briefcase was stolen along with their car!

[phatmadame81 0]

*Mya kisses Tradee, and he wraps his body around her tiny frame in an all-consuming embrace. They dress quickly, and Mya asks the hotel to arrange a car rental for them. The local car rental company brings the requested gunmetal gray S-class convertible Mercedes rather quickly. Tradee smiles enthusiastically at the thought of driving the luxury vehicle. He opens Mya door, and walks around to the driver’s side. They drive off toward his home.

Tradee tries to calm his driving habits because Mya begins squealing and grabbing for some form of stability. She closes her eyes and a wave of nausea overcomes her fear. Tradee pulls the car off the road, and holds Mya’s hair back as she looses her small breakfast. He helps her clean up, and drives away slowly. Impatient drivers honk and overtake them because he refuses to do over 30 mph. Mya puts her head back, and prays that she doesn’t get sick again.

Tradee pulls into a local grocery store, and leaves Mya in the car resting. He comes out with water, tea and a pregnancy test.*

Why do I feel like I'm the only one reading the story lately? I can stop if you don't want to read anymore.

I don't know where you getting your assumption fom but you better keep writing............

Where you live again????????????

[phatmadame81 0]

jawi876' post='1322983' date='Nov 12 2007, 11:32 AM']Well, I had to find a healthy outlet. A would kill me if I found my own make do Tran/Tradee for the time being. lackasex gwaan ded mi! FAADA!

I know how you feel, it has been 2 years for me, and still counting...........P would kill me and then come 6 six feet under and knock me another six. after killing me ...

[phatmadame81 0]

Ian: What was that? *Ian is abruptly jolted out of his thoughts when his rental careens into a mile wide pothole. He pulls the car over to the side of the road to survey the damage. Smoke is spiraling from under the hood, one of the front tires is completely busted. Ian opens the hood to find out just how bad things are. The radiator is cracked, and smoke escapes the confines of the car with a loud angry hiss.* TOOOYYYAAA!!!! YOU will pay for this bullsh** babygirl…oh yeah…I’m going to make you pay for all of this sh**! *Ian tried to use his cell phone to call Hertz, but his phone reads “No Signal”. He kicks at the car in frustration, and walks out to wave down help. Ian stands on the side of the road for what seems like hours, before someone finally stops to help.*

dyuam idot......you inna a farrin country and a daydream pon di road........

[jawi876 2]

BOAL...rooolllinngg!!!! Yuh a nut frum yuh bawn!

[jawi876 2]

*Ian gets help from some local Jamaican men passing in a big rig filled with marl. They laugh at his foul language, and offer him some smoke to calm himself. Ian is never one to resist some good weed, and soon he is mellow and singing Bob Marley tunes. The men manage to fix his tire, but they can’t do anything about the busted radiator. One man offers Ian use of his cell phone, for a small fee. However, Ian doesn’t have any cash on him. So, they let him ride in the back of their truck, seated on top of the marl.

Ian is so high that he doesn’t even seem to mind that the white, dusty substance is ruining his $5000 Brooks Brothers suit, and matching loafers. He continues to sing and choke until they stop at a local gas station. Ian goes into the ATM booth, and withdraws his maximum daily limit of $2000. He had hoped he could get more, but this should hold him over until tomorrow. Ian pays one of his new buddies to call Hertz and explain his dilemma. The Hertz rep is less than accommodating, bordering on rude. They promise to send a tow truck and deliver a new car in the morning to his hotel. However, that leaves Ian stuck in the middle of nowhere for today.

The men explain to Ian that they are headed in the opposite direction of Ocho Rios, and they can’t give him a ride. One of the men offers to stand with him on the roadside to flag down a taxi. When the taxi finally stops, he tells Ian that he would appreciate a small token of his gratitude. Ian reaches into his pocket and tips his new friend handsomely. They say their goodbyes, and Ian is back on the road to Ocho Rios.

Ian’s eyes bug out of his head when he notices the cab driver stop for more people on the road.*

[phatmadame81 0]

When he looks up to curse at the idiot, he feels like he has died and gone to heaven. She was amazingly beautiful, full of raw sexual appeal and exuberance. Ian can feel his mouth moving, but the words will not leave his throat. Melodee glances at him with contempt and stifled irritation. She attempts to brush past him, but Ian grabs her arm to halt her departure.*[/

i]

Ian and Melodee.......storryyyyyyyyyyyy cum to bumpppppp, what is gonna go down now, this has taken on a new twist. I wanna see how ?????????????????????

Melodee glances at the business card and back at Ian. She thinks about her ruined relationship with Delmar.*[/i] So you are a stock broker in New York? Really? That sounds interesting. How long are you in Jamaica?

She realize that she can get a free ticket to the states too

Ian: Yes, I am. It has been a very rewarding career choice if I do say so. *Ian makes a marked effort to flash his cuff links and Rolex.* For you pretty lady, I can be in Jamaica as long as you need me to be. Just say you will at least share drinks with me tonight. I have a business meeting this afternoon, but I could pick you up anytime after…say 7:00 PM?

You always a lfoss like you have it like that , when you know you don't

Ian: Actually, I’m staying in Ocho Rios, at the Riu. Are you familiar with it? I attempted to book the Royal Plantation Golf Resort and Spa, but alas it was completely booked for my last minute trip.

Liard , you couldn't afford it,

[Forever Young 1]

Ian’s eyes bug out of his head when he notices the cab driver stop for more people on the road.*[/i]

...mi nuh tink Ian a guh rush dung tuh Yard EVER again afta dissa yah hexperience! Bwoy,, Jaw's yuh really puttin' 'im through hit! Han I don't feel bad a dyam fi deh blinking jacka$$!! Good fi his cla*t!!!

Gill