My name ain't Stella....

[phatmadame81 0]

CORPORATE HOLIDAY MEMO:

December 1st

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take

place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be

lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols.

Feel free to sing along! And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up

dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of

gifts among employees can be done at that time. No gift should be

over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 2nd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish

employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that

often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this

year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."

The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at

this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols

sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 3rd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics

Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate

this request. However, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table

that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition,

forget about the gifts exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the

union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis

Human Researchers Director

----------------------

December 7th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest

from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the

restrooms. All Gay men are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not

have to sit with the gay men; each will have their own table. Yes,

there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy

now?

Patty Lewis

Human Racehorses Director

----------------------

December 9th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO

to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to

be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in

a red suit."

Patty Lewis

Human Ratraces

----------------------

December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians --I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold

this party at Luigi's Open Pit, whether you like it or not. You can

just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you

put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic

tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream

when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right

now...Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

Patty Lewis

----------------------

December 14th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy

recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward

your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management

has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the

afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Terri Bishop

Acting Human Resources Director

ROFDWL!!!!! HA HA!!!! this is so funny! I was just talking to people in the offive about all the PC ####### that makes it so difficult to have a belief in anything anymore. I'm gonna send this to my co-workers. They will get a kick out of it.

Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!

I was wondering all about this , I shared it with my co-worker and she fell out laughing. It is funny though because of all times they decide to give us 12/24 off........Normally we are here working (well they do )

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Mornign Ladies,

Thanks for all the kind words

I am holding up but it gets harder by the day especially now in this season.I guess I choose a bad time of the year to call it quits.

Yes he is looking forward to Christmas....it is all he speaks about every day.....he is so cute.........but to make matters worst I am taking it all out on him........I need a break from this all.

How did you guys get over this, did it take long?

While going through it did you ever think you are doing something wrong and want to go back and try and fix it?

Maddy,

Like Kim says it really does take time...time does heal MOST! However, going through a break-up with someone that you have a child with is always a challenge. I actually separated from my ex after 2 years of marriage and 'tried' to make it work separately for SIX years!! If he hadn't of gotten another woman pregnant, I would probably still be 'trying'!

Because it takes a huge piece out of you as a woman to accept that this is something that you have no control over and can't fix! We are fixers...we fix everything, boo-boo's, dinner, paying bills, etc...So why can't we fix this too!? Because a relationship takes more than ONE person and you can ONLY control YOURSELF and YOUR actions, no one elses!!

So then you make a decision ...can I live with this person total and utter disrespect or lack of concern for my feelings or do I move on? Most times (at least in my case) it was just easy to stick with the devil I knew! However, by doing that little by little you are murdering (yes and I do mean MURDERING) your self-esteem and self-worth! You start to believe that you deserve to be treated in such a manner and you are not worthy of a better man. Even as far as you are so F-ed up that you are lucky that he still shows interest and 'SAYS' he loves you!

For me, my thinking was I'm fat, black and a mom of two...we have our girlfriends telling us there is a man-shortage every other minute, so seriously who was I going to get? I'm lucky to have dis pissa man.

But finally, when he told me that he got another woman pregnant. I had to draw the line and ask...Ok Gill, we know you don't love yourself ...but how much do you HATE yourself and what kind of example am I setting for my two African-American young men?

I took a stand for me and file dmy divorce paperwork (shocked the hell outta him-neva thought I had the guts) and resigned myself to the idea that it was better to live alone than to live without self...no more men. Because obvioulsy like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman I am a bum-magnet!

My divorce was finalized in October of 2006 and in November (the VERY next MONTH) after swearing off men and being seriously done...I met Ken. This time around I KNEW what I wanted and what I WOULD NOT AND COULD NOT settle for!! I would be doing no more settling. I was worthy of only the best and I found it...finally!! So its true what they say, G-d never closes a door without opening a window...but Maddy you have to close the door first!

How do I get through single motherhood? Honestly in the beginning I really tried to be super Mom...24/7 kids,kids, kids...then I realized the quality of time I was spent with them was horrible, because I was snapping, shouting and a scary individual. Then I asked my father, sister uncle , neighbor to watch my boys for a few hours once a month and I take myself out on a date! I can go to the movies...I can go to the hairdresser and nail salon...whatever I do I get to focus on my needs and my wants for a few hours once a month! Time for myself, by myself to me just me...just Gill! Then I can go back to Mother, Daughter, employee and all the other titles and caps I wear!

You need to do this for yourself Maddy...because what kind of Mom are you going to be for your son if your not there both physically or mentally.

So Baby Girl, I say all this to say...DON'T LOSE SIGHT OF YOU!!!! YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT, FUNNY YOUNG WOMAN that has so much to offer ANY MAN!! YOU ARE ROYAL and as soon as you see that everyone else will...but it starts with you first!

Please feel free to reach out and ask any question or PM anyone of us. I meant what I said...I've been here for a few months now and we may bicker and fight...but we are still FAM!!

Blessed love always ,

Gill

P.S.- Yuh waan fi chat bout ramblin'...look pon MI!! Most of the fam is used to my lenghty personal insight

Nicely said Gill..ur just fantastic

[JA Tam 7]

CORPORATE HOLIDAY MEMO:

December 1st

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take

place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be

lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols.

Feel free to sing along! And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up

dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of

gifts among employees can be done at that time. No gift should be

over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 2nd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish

employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that

often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this

year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."

The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at

this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols

sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

----------------------

December 3rd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics

Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate

this request. However, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table

that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition,

forget about the gifts exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the

union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis

Human Researchers Director

----------------------

December 7th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest

from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the

restrooms. All Gay men are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not

have to sit with the gay men; each will have their own table. Yes,

there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy

now?

Patty Lewis

Human Racehorses Director

----------------------

December 9th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO

to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to

be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in

a red suit."

Patty Lewis

Human Ratraces

----------------------

December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians --I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold

this party at Luigi's Open Pit, whether you like it or not. You can

just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you

put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic

tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream

when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right

now...Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

Patty Lewis

----------------------

December 14th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy

recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward

your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management

has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the

afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Terri Bishop

Acting Human Resources Director

ROFLMAO That was mad funny...Our HR Director would have been rolling on the floor with this one. She is tired to tell me that she needs to put a couch up in her office the way people think she is a psychiatrist. We had our holiday party on the 7th and Secret Santa/Holiday Luncheon on the 14th. She is just as fed up with the whole PC ting too. Mi suh happy mi nuh haffi plan any more ah wi company dinner dem cause mi out fi kill smaddy! Ah tink dats why dem promote mi...Las' annual research meeting wi hav' mi out fi kill one a di Russian analyst dem...

AWRIGHT...back to di 'tory...

Edited December 18, 2007 by JA Tam

[Yaads 0]

Afternoon all! I am here...finally Gonna go catch up as best I can before those bosses evil eyes return

Hope you all are doing ok!

I still need to get my mom a digital camera from Ebay, but now its so late that it won't get to me in time!

I just went shopping for my Angel Tree child and Lawd Gawd! mi buy hup ah whole heap ah tings! I haven't shopped for a 1 year old in a long time and now that my clock is ticking and I am in baby fever mind I must've wanted to buy everything. I had a little boy but there were so many little girl things. I already know its gonna be obnoxious when I have my kids. They gonna be some spoiled likkle pickney!

I did the exact same with my Angel Tree baby I just kept buying and buying...I couldn't help it...those clothes and toys are just too cute for little kids

Jengles~ That corporate holiday thing did too funny! I hate all the PC stuff as well...in our effort not to offend anyone we offend everyone.

[Yaads 0]

Because it takes a huge piece out of you as a woman to accept that this is something that you have no control over and can't fix! We are fixers...we fix everything, boo-boo's, dinner, paying bills, etc...So why can't we fix this too!? Because a relationship takes more than ONE person and you can ONLY control YOURSELF and YOUR actions, no one elses!!

So then you make a decision ...can I live with this person total and utter disrespect or lack of concern for my feelings or do I move on? Most times (at least in my case) it was just easy to stick with the devil I knew! However, by doing that little by little you are murdering (yes and I do mean MURDERING) your self-esteem and self-worth! You start to believe that you deserve to be treated in such a manner and you are not worthy of a better man. Even as far as you are so F-ed up that you are lucky that he still shows interest and 'SAYS' he loves you!

Gill Very well said! The bolded stuff above, especially, couldn't be closer to the truth.

Maddy (((BIG HUGS))) Sorry that you are going through this. I can only imagine how hard this is for you and your son. Keep the faith and know that God will keep and protect you through this hard time. We are all here to support you as well

[Yaads 0]

I haven't heard anything from Jonesie so I am guessing no baby yet. Hope she is doing alright

Hey look y'all

<---------- I got a third heart

Edited December 18, 2007 by Yardiewife

[Yaads 0]

Gosh the minute I show up the place is a ghost town! Where did everyone go?

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Gosh the minute I show up the place is a ghost town! Where did everyone go?

hahahaa..woooiieeee ! u neva get di memo.."when Jamie sign in everyone run"...ahhaaa

[Yaads 0]

Gosh the minute I show up the place is a ghost town! Where did everyone go?

hahahaa..woooiieeee ! u neva get di memo.."when Jamie sign in everyone run"...ahhaaa

I did get the memo...I just hoped it wasn't true Just kidding

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Gosh the minute I show up the place is a ghost town! Where did everyone go?

hahahaa..woooiieeee ! u neva get di memo.."when Jamie sign in everyone run"...ahhaaa

I did get the memo...I just hoped it wasn't true Just kidding

ahahhaa..never that Jamie hunny..never that..we like our animation lady

[Forever Young 1]

Gosh the minute I show up the place is a ghost town! Where did everyone go?

hahahaa..woooiieeee ! u neva get di memo.."when Jamie sign in everyone run"...ahhaaa

I did get the memo...I just hoped it wasn't true Just kidding

ahahhaa..never that Jamie hunny..never that..we like our animation lady

Nuh boddah fi listen tuh Kimmy yah Yards...where yuh been Gurl??? Wi did miss yuh! I guess yuh busy working...surrrrrrrrps!! Don't these people know it's a few days before Christmas and ain't no one in a 'working' mood!!

Good tuh see yuh still!

Love ya,

Gill

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Gosh the minute I show up the place is a ghost town! Where did everyone go?

hahahaa..woooiieeee ! u neva get di memo.."when Jamie sign in everyone run"...ahhaaa

I did get the memo...I just hoped it wasn't true Just kidding

ahahhaa..never that Jamie hunny..never that..we like our animation lady

Nuh boddah fi listen tuh Kimmy yah Yards...where yuh been Gurl??? Wi did miss yuh! I guess yuh busy working...surrrrrrrrps!! Don't these people know it's a few days before Christmas and ain't no one in a 'working' mood!!

Good tuh see yuh still!

Love ya,

Gill

hahahahaa....Gill u gwaan...a no everybody have ur luxury bout no work... school soon gone pon holiday so ur wuk done ...a joke mi feel di same..mi no do nuttin a day time dan bullsh1t

[Forever Young 1]

I haven't heard anything from Jonesie so I am guessing no baby yet. Hope she is doing alright

Hey look y'all

<---------- I got a third heart

LAAAAWD,

Mi nuh 'ave nuh art yet eiddah!! Not a Vet yet, PLUS no art...surrrrrrrps...back tuh deh likkle pickney table fi mi! Mi wanda if dem will share dem crayon wid mi...I can mek a mean placemat!!! (Yes, Kimmy I knoa...'Mi mad tuh baxside!)

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I haven't heard anything from Jonesie so I am guessing no baby yet. Hope she is doing alright

Hey look y'all

<---------- I got a third heart

LAAAAWD,

Mi nuh 'ave nuh art yet eiddah!! Not a Vet yet, PLUS no art...surrrrrrrps...back tuh deh likkle pickney table fi mi! Mi wanda if dem will share dem crayon wid mi...I can mek a mean placemat!!! (Yes, Kimmy I knoa...'Mi mad tuh baxside!)

ahhahaa...u too falafashin man...u caan mek Yradie gwaan wid har star dem...u no qualify yet..u affi be a VET b4 u can B VET VET VET..ahhahahaaa...a guess di 2 a mi mad..ahaa

Hey Classy I see u..how have u been..what u been up to ? how things ?

[Forever Young 1]

Gosh the minute I show up the place is a ghost town! Where did everyone go?

hahahaa..woooiieeee ! u neva get di memo.."when Jamie sign in everyone run"...ahhaaa

I did get the memo...I just hoped it wasn't true Just kidding

ahahhaa..never that Jamie hunny..never that..we like our animation lady

Nuh boddah fi listen tuh Kimmy yah Yards...where yuh been Gurl??? Wi did miss yuh! I guess yuh busy working...surrrrrrrrps!! Don't these people know it's a few days before Christmas and ain't no one in a 'working' mood!!

Good tuh see yuh still!

Love ya,

Gill

hahahahaa....Gill u gwaan...a no everybody have ur luxury bout no work... school soon gone pon holiday so ur wuk done ...a joke mi feel di same..mi no do nuttin a day time dan bullsh1t

...Gurl yuh see hit! Only ting mi a deal wid now are the lazy students that didn't do wah dem haffi do for deh last 14 weeks and want mi tuh now 'fix' dem 'F'!!!

"My parents are like gonna kill ME!!!"

My response "Well, like... YUH SHOULDDA DUH YUH WUK!!!!"

I actually had an international student tell me that this was his 1st semester living independently without servants that usually do all of 'this stuff' for him!! And I HAVE to write him a wavier! Hmmmmmm...NOPE!!!!! I told him that his parents would probably be better off if he went back to Pakistan to learn how to do for himself and send the servants to school here! YES, I DID!!!

Dyam A$$!!!

Bless-bless,

Gill

Edited December 19, 2007 by Deyoungting