MENA Breakups

[♥JP♥ 5]

Exactly and I don't think anyone posts their story with the intention of making anyone else have doubts. If you look for something, chances are you will find it.

[MrsAmera 41]

OK this is just my thoughts here on this. If you read these stories and you have doubts or feel like your situation might be the same my thought is that those doubts were there all along. I am not pointing fingers or singling anyone out but I feel like in a lot of these situations there were flags that other people saw and pointed out and maybe those who have the flags saw them too but really really wanted to discredit them. If you doubt your relationship even 1% you should really talk it though and decide whether or not to go on with it. There are always signs in a bad relationship is whether you choose to realize them or not. And this is not just in MENA relationships - I'm talking across the board. I have never read any of these stories and thought "oh wow that sounds like us" I haven't ever felt any inkling or saw any of the classic signs about cheating, or greencard using. I'm not bragging or boasting or anything of the like - I'm simply saying it because I think that as Sarah mentioned I think a lot of people do have blinders on in relationships and then after the fact are like "oh no what happened??" It's true not all cases are the same, but if you have a track record where 5 relationships ended and all of them the fiance never met the husbands family or all of them had a big gap in age or any other variable reason how can you not take that into consideration and just write it off as "yea but we're really in love, our relationship is real" You have to consider every angle and not just take it at face value.

[Caladan 19]

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point? If you are happy in your marriage and someone else in a similar situation to you breaks up, why would that apply to you? I think the only thing we can do is be there for the person going through the painful breakup. If you are going to apply other peoples situations and experiances to your own marriage, then you will be destined for the same fate.

No two marriage are alike. Don't compare.

Compare no, but be aware of odd behaviors, such as keeping money separate and not allowing contact with their family. I read recently of a woman who's fiance has not introduced her to his family yet.

That is not necessarily odd behaivior. If my husband and I have seperate accounts and we break up, you can't look at that situation and say "uh oh, we have seperate accounts too, I bet he is up to no good" You have to remember that only a portion of the story is shared here on VJ. Many many details are left out. We rarely even hear the second side of the story too.

I think that's absolutely true, but I think there's also a value to introspection, even if you end up concluding that their problem isn't a sign that it could be your problem. Comparing can be important just in the case that it makes the person think.

I mean, counselors compare. That's how they know patterns that abusers fall into, and pointing out to a woman that it is a pattern can help her break free of it.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Those who feel bad for posting their stories should not feel that way. Like Amera said, your stories didn't bring on doubts about themselves, they were already there to begin with. Keep posting and we are all here to support you.

[doodlebug 3]

I'm waitin' on Jackie's story!!! Jackie I think you should write a book!!!!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Hey if anyone wants to hear his side of the story, you can find him in Florida opening a business with his old busniness partner from Jordan. Took 5 years for them to both get here and see their plan to fruition. Good luck to you Mohammed. Tell Abu Ali I said hello.

I only posted our breakup because I needed some support. I never meant for anyone to question their own relationships. I watched his 2 cousins leave their wives after greencard. I NEVER thought it would happen to us. I consider myself pretty average as women go. We had some flags but he 100% convinced me he would never divorce me. Well he signed during Ramadan. Being muslim dont shelter you from being left in the dust as the 2006 Nissan truck heads to Florida to realize a life-long dream.

I told Amal this and I will tell you all, DO NOT let doubts affect your marriage. It will kill what you have. If you plan on killing it, then get it over with before years of being financially and emotionally involved. If you love your partner, do what it takes to keep them, but dont lose a sense of yourself, because when they go, they dont come back and when they go you are left with yourself. Make sure you still like yourself enough to survive.

Jaklen

Hey amal, you came to your senses? lol

I wanna know where in Florida so I sure as hell won't shop there. #######

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

conceded that? I never said there was anything wrong with it.

but of course not......

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point?

[♥JP♥ 5]

conceded that? I never said there was anything wrong with it.

but of course not......

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point?

Ok now you are just taking my posts out of context for your own personal benefit. What I said above doesn't mean that people shouldnt post, I already made it clear that they should post and that they need support.

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

conceded that? I never said there was anything wrong with it.

but of course not......

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point?

Ok now you are just taking my posts out of context for your own personal benefit. What I said above doesn't mean that people shouldnt post, I already made it clear that they should post and that they need support.

not taken out of context jp. it certainly came across that way: that you didn't see a reason for anyone to post their story as it would not be of benefit to you and perhaps even pointless. i'm happy you finally clarified that.

[deadbird 2]

I felt a need to post my story BECAUSE there was all this warm and fuzzy stuff floating around.. And not too many saying it didnt work out... esp in the MENA area

I felt the need to have it be seen.. cause Never did I think my husband was gonna come here and pull the stuff he Pulled!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didnt have too many red flags.. and I was doing the my habibi/ my hayati stuff too

It might have dampened some peoples mood, popped a bubble and/ or put doubt in peoples mind.

My intention was just to bring awareness.. thats all.

I dont think woman should then go home and rip their SO's a fresh one.. but rub some of the cupid's love dust out their eyes.. and be SMART.. especially if you got kids

Dee, I never meant that you shouldn't have posted your story or anyone else who has gone through hell shouldn't have told us they did.

What I don't like are the topics that pop up around the same time that keep beating all the warning signs and red flags to death. And all the fights that start over these topics. And the topics about the fights that end up getting locked down especially when one topic after another turns into nitpicking and trivial arguments, how is that support?

[sarah and hicham 3]

boohoo.

[ya falaha! 0]

Would you rather everyone stick their heads in the sand? All these threads are coming up because all this stuff has happened to VJers like you and I. We can't deny that this stuff happens. If you don't like the subject matter, don't read the thread.

I felt a need to post my story BECAUSE there was all this warm and fuzzy stuff floating around.. And not too many saying it didnt work out... esp in the MENA area

I felt the need to have it be seen.. cause Never did I think my husband was gonna come here and pull the stuff he Pulled!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didnt have too many red flags.. and I was doing the my habibi/ my hayati stuff too

It might have dampened some peoples mood, popped a bubble and/ or put doubt in peoples mind.

My intention was just to bring awareness.. thats all.

I dont think woman should then go home and rip their SO's a fresh one.. but rub some of the cupid's love dust out their eyes.. and be SMART.. especially if you got kids

Dee, I never meant that you shouldn't have posted your story or anyone else who has gone through hell shouldn't have told us they did.

What I don't like are the topics that pop up around the same time that keep beating all the warning signs and red flags to death. And all the fights that start over these topics. And the topics about the fights that end up getting locked down especially when one topic after another turns into nitpicking and trivial arguments, how is that support?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

boohoo.

Why the hell do you need a warm and fuzzy Sparrow, your husband is on his way here? And hell after this week in MENA, I don't want a warm fuzzy. I want my freaking NOA2 and to get the hell out of USCIS..

BY THE WAY>> THE TIMELINES ARE FARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHER OUT

I am so pissed

Would you rather everyone stick their heads in the sand? All these threads are coming up because all this stuff has happened to VJers like you and I. We can't deny that this stuff happens. If you don't like the subject matter, don't read the thread.

I felt a need to post my story BECAUSE there was all this warm and fuzzy stuff floating around.. And not too many saying it didnt work out... esp in the MENA area

I felt the need to have it be seen.. cause Never did I think my husband was gonna come here and pull the stuff he Pulled!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didnt have too many red flags.. and I was doing the my habibi/ my hayati stuff too

It might have dampened some peoples mood, popped a bubble and/ or put doubt in peoples mind.

My intention was just to bring awareness.. thats all.

I dont think woman should then go home and rip their SO's a fresh one.. but rub some of the cupid's love dust out their eyes.. and be SMART.. especially if you got kids

Dee, I never meant that you shouldn't have posted your story or anyone else who has gone through hell shouldn't have told us they did.

What I don't like are the topics that pop up around the same time that keep beating all the warning signs and red flags to death. And all the fights that start over these topics. And the topics about the fights that end up getting locked down especially when one topic after another turns into nitpicking and trivial arguments, how is that support?

I think I am making a red flag t shirt and going to be in it with a box of chinese sub gum wanton. I am getting heart palpitations from all this MENA ####### LOL

[deadbird 2]

boohoo.

Why the hell do you need a warm and fuzzy Sparrow, your husband is on his way here? And hell after this week in MENA, I don't want a warm fuzzy. I want my freaking NOA2 and to get the hell out of USCIS..

I'm not arguing with you.

The warm fuzzy thing wasn't really about me, it was about other people who could really use something like that and might be too damn afraid for saying something because they know their heads are going to get bitten off.

Just because he's on his way doesn't mean he's here yet or that I haven't seen him for 6 months and don't still miss him.

[SimoFati 0]

After that whole experience (the guns/ss cards) I would be REALLY scared to marry someone from MENA again! Did it take you a long time to be able to trust again and go through the process to bring someone over?

The whole pretending to be Greek all the time was the funniest part . I lived in Greece in 1985 so that was kind of really funny for me.....He told me he was from Ramallah.. I actually felt sorry for him because I thought at the time he must feel really bad about himself to lie like that. He even had like stickers with greek flags and had a whole story. He never used it with me but there are still girls that think they were dating a greek guy. I talked to one and she told me he said he was an orphan from Greece. Well to come to think of it, I know a moroccan guy who tells girls that he is a professional Italian soccer player. Oh well...

you are scaring me .where do you meet these guys?