MENA Breakups

[deadbird 2]

We need another warm fuzzy thread? That's funny. Some people can't handle hearing the truth or any negativity whatsoever. Blinders, anyone?

And that's why. Because a lot of people around here assume that just because we don't want to hear it, we're putting blinders on. After reading half the negative topics around here anyone will think it could happen to them and that doesn't help anyone.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Off work soon and have a few things to say. I am not coming back on with warm smoke, unicorns and fuzzy kitties so the weak hearted might want to avoid this thread later today.

Jaklen

[♥JP♥ 5]

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point? If you are happy in your marriage and someone else in a similar situation to you breaks up, why would that apply to you? I think the only thing we can do is be there for the person going through the painful breakup. If you are going to apply other peoples situations and experiances to your own marriage, then you will be destined for the same fate.

No two marriage are alike. Don't compare.

i disagree. just as i've seen convicted burglars educate people on how to better protect their homes, i believe dismissing the input from someone who's engaged in a marriage for benefit like this is quite reckless and premature.

I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life. I see it here all the time on VJ. Someone breaks up and then I get messages from people saying "oh Im next because I have this in common with that couple". That is not how to make a marriage work.

Just because one person is being used for someone elses benefit doesnt mean you can label every marriage that way. Many women in mena have had bad relationships in the past and its hard to trust again, however, if you mistrust your spouse because of what happened with someone elses situation then you are doing an injustice to yourself and your marriage. I have seen people ruin a perfectly good relationship/marriage over false accusations.

it's not all about you, jp. said input may help someone else.

Did I say it was about me? Why is it an issue for you when I give my opinion. You disagree, that is fine, but there is no need to make it so personal. This is my opinion thats all.

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

Off work soon and have a few things to say. I am not coming back on with warm smoke, unicorns and fuzzy kitties so the weak hearted might want to avoid this thread later today.

Jaklen

i'm about to leave too, will be back if the weather permits - raining right now and no idea if it affects the satellite internet at home.

hang in there jackie

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point? If you are happy in your marriage and someone else in a similar situation to you breaks up, why would that apply to you? I think the only thing we can do is be there for the person going through the painful breakup. If you are going to apply other peoples situations and experiances to your own marriage, then you will be destined for the same fate.

No two marriage are alike. Don't compare.

i disagree. just as i've seen convicted burglars educate people on how to better protect their homes, i believe dismissing the input from someone who's engaged in a marriage for benefit like this is quite reckless and premature.

I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life. I see it here all the time on VJ. Someone breaks up and then I get messages from people saying "oh Im next because I have this in common with that couple". That is not how to make a marriage work.

Just because one person is being used for someone elses benefit doesnt mean you can label every marriage that way. Many women in mena have had bad relationships in the past and its hard to trust again, however, if you mistrust your spouse because of what happened with someone elses situation then you are doing an injustice to yourself and your marriage. I have seen people ruin a perfectly good relationship/marriage over false accusations.

it's not all about you, jp. said input may help someone else.

Did I say it was about me? Why is it an issue for you when I give my opinion. You disagree, that is fine, but there is no need to make it so personal. This is my opinion thats all.

it mighta been your statement of "I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life."

it's not personal jp, calm down. i still hold that *someone* could well benefit from the prior topic.

[♥JP♥ 5]

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point? If you are happy in your marriage and someone else in a similar situation to you breaks up, why would that apply to you? I think the only thing we can do is be there for the person going through the painful breakup. If you are going to apply other peoples situations and experiances to your own marriage, then you will be destined for the same fate.

No two marriage are alike. Don't compare.

i disagree. just as i've seen convicted burglars educate people on how to better protect their homes, i believe dismissing the input from someone who's engaged in a marriage for benefit like this is quite reckless and premature.

I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life. I see it here all the time on VJ. Someone breaks up and then I get messages from people saying "oh Im next because I have this in common with that couple". That is not how to make a marriage work.

Just because one person is being used for someone elses benefit doesnt mean you can label every marriage that way. Many women in mena have had bad relationships in the past and its hard to trust again, however, if you mistrust your spouse because of what happened with someone elses situation then you are doing an injustice to yourself and your marriage. I have seen people ruin a perfectly good relationship/marriage over false accusations.

it's not all about you, jp. said input may help someone else.

Did I say it was about me? Why is it an issue for you when I give my opinion. You disagree, that is fine, but there is no need to make it so personal. This is my opinion thats all.

it mighta been your statement of "I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life."

it's not personal jp, calm down. i still hold that *someone* could well benefit from the prior topic.

I stand by my statement. Why would you apply someone else's bad experiance to your marriage? If your marriage is going well what is the point of disrupting it with someone elses bad experiance?

Hypothetically, lets say Nessa had an ex that was liar and cheated on her. How would you feel if dragged that baggage into your marriage? Constantly accusing of things you haven't done just bcz someone else did that to her in the past? What if your neightbor who is was in the military is having an affiar, and Nessa starts accusing you of the same.

Do you get my point? Even more importantly, we only know 1 side of the story and everyones there are 3 sides to every story. When Jackie and Mohammed broke up, everyone went into a frenzy, comparing their relationships to hers and jumping to conclusions. Maybe you can learn something *prior* to getting into a relationship but once you are in one, you can't use someone elses marriage experiances in your own marriage.

[sarah and hicham 3]

We need another warm fuzzy thread? That's funny. Some people can't handle hearing the truth or any negativity whatsoever. Blinders, anyone?

And that's why. Because a lot of people around here assume that just because we don't want to hear it, we're putting blinders on. After reading half the negative topics around here anyone will think it could happen to them and that doesn't help anyone.

Well if people are worried about their situations after seeing what is going on here, I don't think it's bad to anaylze their own relationship.

If you don't want to hear it then maybe you shouldn't be reading those threads. I find them to be a great help to others as well as an interesting discussion. People should never feel bad for sharing something negative that happened to them just because you don't want people to think it could happen to them. Wise up.

[amal 4]

I'll admit that the negative feedback did have an impact on me. I knew it had nothing to do with how our marriage is going but it scared the heck out of me. I don't want to be another person that is blindsided, ya know? I don't think he's goin to do anything shady but then to hear the stories from the girls who "never saw it coming" made me question everything I "thought" I knew. I now realize that was silly of me and that if I start looking for problems, I'm only going to cause problems to arise if I keep questioning everything. I also realized that I have to move forward with the best intentions and a pure heart or I'm going to be in a state of constant panic attacks the rest of my marriage. .... If I were at home I'd have soooooooooo much more to add to this...... I do want to add that once I came to my senses...my relationship has already improved drastically.......

amal

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point? If you are happy in your marriage and someone else in a similar situation to you breaks up, why would that apply to you? I think the only thing we can do is be there for the person going through the painful breakup. If you are going to apply other peoples situations and experiances to your own marriage, then you will be destined for the same fate.

No two marriage are alike. Don't compare.

i disagree. just as i've seen convicted burglars educate people on how to better protect their homes, i believe dismissing the input from someone who's engaged in a marriage for benefit like this is quite reckless and premature.

I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life. I see it here all the time on VJ. Someone breaks up and then I get messages from people saying "oh Im next because I have this in common with that couple". That is not how to make a marriage work.

Just because one person is being used for someone elses benefit doesnt mean you can label every marriage that way. Many women in mena have had bad relationships in the past and its hard to trust again, however, if you mistrust your spouse because of what happened with someone elses situation then you are doing an injustice to yourself and your marriage. I have seen people ruin a perfectly good relationship/marriage over false accusations.

it's not all about you, jp. said input may help someone else.

Did I say it was about me? Why is it an issue for you when I give my opinion. You disagree, that is fine, but there is no need to make it so personal. This is my opinion thats all.

it mighta been your statement of "I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life."

it's not personal jp, calm down. i still hold that *someone* could well benefit from the prior topic.

I stand by my statement. Why would you apply someone else's bad experiance to your marriage? If your marriage is going well what is the point of disrupting it with someone elses bad experiance?

Hypothetically, lets say Nessa had an ex that was liar and cheated on her. How would you feel if dragged that baggage into your marriage? Constantly accusing of things you haven't done just bcz someone else did that to her in the past? What if your neightbor who is was in the military is having an affiar, and Nessa starts accusing you of the same.

Do you get my point? Even more importantly, we only know 1 side of the story and everyones there are 3 sides to every story. When Jackie and Mohammed broke up, everyone went into a frenzy, comparing their relationships to hers and jumping to conclusions. Maybe you can learn something *prior* to getting into a relationship but once you are in one, you can't use someone elses marriage experiances in your own marriage.

so who's making it personal now?

while it's obvious that you'd not benefit in any shape or form from the previous, which we've beaten to death over and over again, what's so wrong with someone who has committed visa fraud posting their motives and methods? or do you really hold that once two individuals are in a relationship, they can't learn anything afterward?

[♥JP♥ 5]

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point? If you are happy in your marriage and someone else in a similar situation to you breaks up, why would that apply to you? I think the only thing we can do is be there for the person going through the painful breakup. If you are going to apply other peoples situations and experiances to your own marriage, then you will be destined for the same fate.

No two marriage are alike. Don't compare.

i disagree. just as i've seen convicted burglars educate people on how to better protect their homes, i believe dismissing the input from someone who's engaged in a marriage for benefit like this is quite reckless and premature.

I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life. I see it here all the time on VJ. Someone breaks up and then I get messages from people saying "oh Im next because I have this in common with that couple". That is not how to make a marriage work.

Just because one person is being used for someone elses benefit doesnt mean you can label every marriage that way. Many women in mena have had bad relationships in the past and its hard to trust again, however, if you mistrust your spouse because of what happened with someone elses situation then you are doing an injustice to yourself and your marriage. I have seen people ruin a perfectly good relationship/marriage over false accusations.

it's not all about you, jp. said input may help someone else.

Did I say it was about me? Why is it an issue for you when I give my opinion. You disagree, that is fine, but there is no need to make it so personal. This is my opinion thats all.

it mighta been your statement of "I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life."

it's not personal jp, calm down. i still hold that *someone* could well benefit from the prior topic.

I stand by my statement. Why would you apply someone else's bad experiance to your marriage? If your marriage is going well what is the point of disrupting it with someone elses bad experiance?

Hypothetically, lets say Nessa had an ex that was liar and cheated on her. How would you feel if dragged that baggage into your marriage? Constantly accusing of things you haven't done just bcz someone else did that to her in the past? What if your neightbor who is was in the military is having an affiar, and Nessa starts accusing you of the same.

Do you get my point? Even more importantly, we only know 1 side of the story and everyones there are 3 sides to every story. When Jackie and Mohammed broke up, everyone went into a frenzy, comparing their relationships to hers and jumping to conclusions. Maybe you can learn something *prior* to getting into a relationship but once you are in one, you can't use someone elses marriage experiances in your own marriage.

so who's making it personal now?

while it's obvious that you'd not benefit in any shape or form from the previous, which we've beaten to death over and over again, what's so wrong with someone who has committed visa fraud posting their motives and methods? or do you really hold that once two individuals are in a relationship, they can't learn anything afterward?

You clearly don't get my post. If you read Amal's post above yours, you will see exactly what I am talking about. I didn't say there was anything wrong with anyone posting anything, so don't put words in my mouth.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Hey if anyone wants to hear his side of the story, you can find him in Florida opening a business with his old busniness partner from Jordan. Took 5 years for them to both get here and see their plan to fruition. Good luck to you Mohammed. Tell Abu Ali I said hello.

I only posted our breakup because I needed some support. I never meant for anyone to question their own relationships. I watched his 2 cousins leave their wives after greencard. I NEVER thought it would happen to us. I consider myself pretty average as women go. We had some flags but he 100% convinced me he would never divorce me. Well he signed during Ramadan. Being muslim dont shelter you from being left in the dust as the 2006 Nissan truck heads to Florida to realize a life-long dream.

I told Amal this and I will tell you all, DO NOT let doubts affect your marriage. It will kill what you have. If you plan on killing it, then get it over with before years of being financially and emotionally involved. If you love your partner, do what it takes to keep them, but dont lose a sense of yourself, because when they go, they dont come back and when they go you are left with yourself. Make sure you still like yourself enough to survive.

Jaklen

Hey amal, you came to your senses? lol

Edited October 17, 2007 by just_Jackie

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point? If you are happy in your marriage and someone else in a similar situation to you breaks up, why would that apply to you? I think the only thing we can do is be there for the person going through the painful breakup. If you are going to apply other peoples situations and experiances to your own marriage, then you will be destined for the same fate.

No two marriage are alike. Don't compare.

i disagree. just as i've seen convicted burglars educate people on how to better protect their homes, i believe dismissing the input from someone who's engaged in a marriage for benefit like this is quite reckless and premature.

I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life. I see it here all the time on VJ. Someone breaks up and then I get messages from people saying "oh Im next because I have this in common with that couple". That is not how to make a marriage work.

Just because one person is being used for someone elses benefit doesnt mean you can label every marriage that way. Many women in mena have had bad relationships in the past and its hard to trust again, however, if you mistrust your spouse because of what happened with someone elses situation then you are doing an injustice to yourself and your marriage. I have seen people ruin a perfectly good relationship/marriage over false accusations.

it's not all about you, jp. said input may help someone else.

Did I say it was about me? Why is it an issue for you when I give my opinion. You disagree, that is fine, but there is no need to make it so personal. This is my opinion thats all.

it mighta been your statement of "I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life."

it's not personal jp, calm down. i still hold that *someone* could well benefit from the prior topic.

I stand by my statement. Why would you apply someone else's bad experiance to your marriage? If your marriage is going well what is the point of disrupting it with someone elses bad experiance?

Hypothetically, lets say Nessa had an ex that was liar and cheated on her. How would you feel if dragged that baggage into your marriage? Constantly accusing of things you haven't done just bcz someone else did that to her in the past? What if your neightbor who is was in the military is having an affiar, and Nessa starts accusing you of the same.

Do you get my point? Even more importantly, we only know 1 side of the story and everyones there are 3 sides to every story. When Jackie and Mohammed broke up, everyone went into a frenzy, comparing their relationships to hers and jumping to conclusions. Maybe you can learn something *prior* to getting into a relationship but once you are in one, you can't use someone elses marriage experiances in your own marriage.

so who's making it personal now?

while it's obvious that you'd not benefit in any shape or form from the previous, which we've beaten to death over and over again, what's so wrong with someone who has committed visa fraud posting their motives and methods? or do you really hold that once two individuals are in a relationship, they can't learn anything afterward?

You clearly don't get my post. If you read Amal's post above yours, you will see exactly what I am talking about. I didn't say there was anything wrong with anyone posting anything, so don't put words in my mouth.

i'm glad you finally conceded that.

[♥JP♥ 5]

I don't think you can learn much from them. I mean what is the point? If you are happy in your marriage and someone else in a similar situation to you breaks up, why would that apply to you? I think the only thing we can do is be there for the person going through the painful breakup. If you are going to apply other peoples situations and experiances to your own marriage, then you will be destined for the same fate.

No two marriage are alike. Don't compare.

i disagree. just as i've seen convicted burglars educate people on how to better protect their homes, i believe dismissing the input from someone who's engaged in a marriage for benefit like this is quite reckless and premature.

I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life. I see it here all the time on VJ. Someone breaks up and then I get messages from people saying "oh Im next because I have this in common with that couple". That is not how to make a marriage work.

Just because one person is being used for someone elses benefit doesnt mean you can label every marriage that way. Many women in mena have had bad relationships in the past and its hard to trust again, however, if you mistrust your spouse because of what happened with someone elses situation then you are doing an injustice to yourself and your marriage. I have seen people ruin a perfectly good relationship/marriage over false accusations.

it's not all about you, jp. said input may help someone else.

Did I say it was about me? Why is it an issue for you when I give my opinion. You disagree, that is fine, but there is no need to make it so personal. This is my opinion thats all.

it mighta been your statement of "I didn't say I was dismissing anyone's input. But at the same I am not going to apply it to my life."

it's not personal jp, calm down. i still hold that *someone* could well benefit from the prior topic.

I stand by my statement. Why would you apply someone else's bad experiance to your marriage? If your marriage is going well what is the point of disrupting it with someone elses bad experiance?

Hypothetically, lets say Nessa had an ex that was liar and cheated on her. How would you feel if dragged that baggage into your marriage? Constantly accusing of things you haven't done just bcz someone else did that to her in the past? What if your neightbor who is was in the military is having an affiar, and Nessa starts accusing you of the same.

Do you get my point? Even more importantly, we only know 1 side of the story and everyones there are 3 sides to every story. When Jackie and Mohammed broke up, everyone went into a frenzy, comparing their relationships to hers and jumping to conclusions. Maybe you can learn something *prior* to getting into a relationship but once you are in one, you can't use someone elses marriage experiances in your own marriage.

so who's making it personal now?

while it's obvious that you'd not benefit in any shape or form from the previous, which we've beaten to death over and over again, what's so wrong with someone who has committed visa fraud posting their motives and methods? or do you really hold that once two individuals are in a relationship, they can't learn anything afterward?

You clearly don't get my post. If you read Amal's post above yours, you will see exactly what I am talking about. I didn't say there was anything wrong with anyone posting anything, so don't put words in my mouth.

i'm glad you finally conceded that.

conceded that? I never said there was anything wrong with it.

[deemabrouk 0]

I felt a need to post my story BECAUSE there was all this warm and fuzzy stuff floating around.. And not too many saying it didnt work out... esp in the MENA area

I felt the need to have it be seen.. cause Never did I think my husband was gonna come here and pull the stuff he Pulled!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didnt have too many red flags.. and I was doing the my habibi/ my hayati stuff too

It might have dampened some peoples mood, popped a bubble and/ or put doubt in peoples mind.

My intention was just to bring awareness.. thats all.

I dont think woman should then go home and rip their SO's a fresh one.. but rub some of the cupid's love dust out their eyes.. and be SMART.. especially if you got kids

[doodlebug 3]

All this talk affected me too. I asked my husband if he has an Egyptian wifey lined up. He saw the text and went back to sleep. Apparently I sent the text 3 times by accident so when he woke up and saw the other two he thought "oh ####### I better call her or she'll think I'm at my wedding!!!"

He called this morning and asked if I'm pms'ing. He soooo knows me! :energetic:

I dont think woman should then go home and rip their SO's a fresh one.. but rub some of the cupid's love dust out their eyes..