How is everyone in AP doing? How's your SO handling it? how long have you been in AP ? How many "flags"

[~~~water~~~ 0]

My fiance and I have been in AP for over 5 months. After reading the red flags post, I would say we have 2 maybe 3

I just wanted to say to all of us still stuck in the fog of AP ~ We are going to make it through.

Im doing OK, I have resigned myself to the idea that I might still have 12 or more months of this to endure. I think the hardest thing this week for me has been watching my fiance put his education on hold. He wants to complete a year long program which would help him both here or in Egypt, but if the visa does come through in the next few months it would all be in vain and waste. I believe he has 6 months to travel after the visa is issued?

Peace everbody I hope this week brings our forum some news

Chins up and no pouting

[doodlebug 3]

Our flags are:

2. A marriage ceremony arranged only a short time after petitioner arrives in the beneficiary’s country and they meet for the first time;

and

9. Long gaps of time between the petitioner & beneficiary being together in person.

Though #9 is common I would think when the burden of travel is all on one person, namely the US Citizen, especially if that person has children and a fulltime job.

I'm taking things one day at a time. Some days I'm fine and other's I'm a raving lunatic. My husband has been the calmer of the two, though this past week notsomuch. He has really started to lose it in terms of emotionally being vulnerable, though I think it's due to his dad dying during Ramadan last year.

The hardest part for him is having his life in limbo. Like your husband he could really start a course now to learn how to write better in English but then what if he gets the visa? He's not gonna just stay there to finish up a course, you know? There are MANY things like that in his life that he could be doing but because of the unknown factor of when he'll be leaving he can't do much of anything. That must be so frustrating and is unique to the visa beneficiary. I can't even imagine going to bed each night not knowing if you'lll still be in that same bed in a week. I think I take it for granted that my life really won't be the one that changes all too much, other than having to share my personal space and time with someone and having to deal with all the adjustments that go along with it.

So...one day at a time, like you said, chin up, and chug along however slowly. And thank God for it all.

[Becky&Sam 0]

We have two of the red flags listed in the other post.....you can see by the ticker below how long we have been in AP....

We are both fed up with this whole thing.....Not understanding why we aren't allowed to be together at this point.....I have had a major emotional meltdown this week which culminated last night with a big crying session to my husband on the phone..... soooo I would say at this point he is handling it much better than I am right now, but with his work hours right now he doesn't have much time to do anything but work.

There are so many aspects of the US government that I was not aware of until starting this process. I don't feel nearly as free as I did before...I don't believe that the US gov't always has the people's interest at heart....I feel basically let down and disillusioned with what is supposed to be the fair and legal way to immigrate here (not to mention very expensive). We as petitioners have absolutely no rights except to be told nothing about the process or where we stand. Anyway just trudging along through the days until we hear something......

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

Well, we have been on AP for 64 days now. Yes, the embassy did request that he send in his passport, but that doesn't mean anything IMO. How many times have we seen the request for the passport only to have them send it back saying they are not ready to issue the visa?

I have to admit, I knew absolutely nothing about the immigration process when I started this journey. I thought, okay, ya file a couple of papers, wait, file a few more, have the interview, Walla, they come to the US. God, was I stupid! LOL

In the ten months we have been doing this we have run thru every emotion possible. Depression? The blackest. We have argued, consoled, cried, laughed, made plans, cancelled them, and finally came to the realization that we are not in control of our own destinies. The government is.

So, now we are waiting to learn if they really do intend to issue the visa, and then we will decide when he will come. As it's been pointed out, there is no sense in rushing to get a plane ticket, when God only knows when and if he is coming. So, wait and wait and wait, is all we can do.

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

Okay, I am terrible at math, and it would not let me edit. We have been in AP for 76 days, not 64, but what's a few more days more or less?

[Cheryl & Medo 3]

Well today is 8 mo of AP....And I think my husband is giving up the hope that he will ever get a visa....And he feels that him being Muslim is the reason....But he says untill he is denied we will wait and if he dont get a visa we will start making plan B.......I called DOS and they said there was some new stuff to the case that they said they seen done.. But of corse they will not give out that info.. And it pi$$e$ me off when it is our case and our lives...I sent out 2 letters to senators but I really dought that will do any good.. I started a pitition and collecting all voter signitures. I will send that with another letter as soon as I get 1500 people to sign. Thank God it is a election year....... And as far as our goverment here well lets just say dont get me started I'm just thankfull I will be with my hubby in 47 days And the only red flag we have is our age.... Witch is none of there freeking bees wax

[Ta Ta 1]

10 months and counting.........details in the signature.

Jumping through one flaming hoop after the other !

Canceled wedding plans because all dates are useless..........there is no more joyful planning of anything to look forward to without a date in mind.

When he finally does arrive I think this process has taken so much out of us that we will just get married at the JP.

When one of us is down the other will be encouraging.

Both of us have occasional meltdowns.

Not knowing if and when the visa will be issued is harder than the wait itself and hangs like a dark cloud over us.

Tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow things will change.......and so one day flows into another...........seasons come and go......surly this Christmas we will be together .........then the realization, no not this year.

Through it all we remain strong and stand in faith.

[wael253 0]

Well today is 8 mo of AP....And I think my husband is giving up the hope that he will ever get a visa....And he feels that him being Muslim is the reason....But he says untill he is denied we will wait and if he dont get a visa we will start making plan B.......I called DOS and they said there was some new stuff to the case that they said they seen done.. But of corse they will not give out that info.. And it pi$$e$ me off when it is our case and our lives...I sent out 2 letters to senators but I really dought that will do any good.. I started a pitition and collecting all voter signitures. I will send that with another letter as soon as I get 1500 people to sign. Thank God it is a election year....... And as far as our goverment here well lets just say dont get me started I'm just thankfull I will be with my hubby in 47 days And the only red flag we have is our age.... Witch is none of there freeking bees wax

first i'm sorry about the long AP .. i know how it feels when it takes so long for no known reason and all what we can do is just to wait .

BUT about his thoughts i would say being a Muslim could be a reason for delay as you know we have to go thru all these security check BUT being Muslim has never been a reason for Denial .

also as far as i know that as long as your petition has never been return to USCIS so your case should be fine and there is no reason for Denial and the waiting time is just the only hard thing what you have to deal with so just keep the faith and all will be fine soon .

we have been in AP since May , the waiting is unbearable BUT i have to say since Jeanne have arrived last week we both started to feel much better .

and about ( Ellis RED FLAG ) let me say that i have a mixed feeling about it BUT first here is a clearance ...

point 10. FAILURE to disclose previous marriages

and point 11. FAILURE to disclose previous petitions filed on behalf of other beneficiaries.

these two points are not RED FLAGS .. BUT .. for the USCIS they are considered intentional FRAUD .

about points from 1 to 9

i have seen some people who have combined 7 or 8 of them if not the whole 9 flags however they have got a speedy AP and guaranteed the visa in less than one month .

on the other hand .. i have seen some people who have NONE of these 9 flags and however they stuck in the AP for a long time .

[ayesha4akram 0]

we've been in AP for 6months & 4 days. They have had his passport for most of the 6 months, and when i called DOS they said that his case was under AP and as soon as they finish they send the case back to the embassy, the embassy would make the final decision to issue the visa or not, blah blah blah.

How are we handling it? One day at a time, some days better than others. But it's been HELL on earth. This whole ordeal has taken it's toll on me. The good thing is that my feelings for him have never changed, they get stronger each day. I've known him for 5 years, and i would think that should have counted for something when applying for the visa, but, just like most people, we have to wait. Like Omoba said, when one of us is feeling down, the other is encouraging, that's how we're trying to handle it.

This is something that is so out of our hands that it's frustrating. But what can we do? We did our part, now we just have to wait and pray that we get the visa sooner than later.

Hugs,

Ayesha

[mybackpages 0]

Our flags are:

2. A marriage ceremony arranged only a short time after petitioner arrives in the beneficiary's country and they meet for the first time;

and

9. Long gaps of time between the petitioner & beneficiary being together in person.

Though #9 is common I would think when the burden of travel is all on one person, namely the US Citizen, especially if that person has children and a fulltime job.

I'm taking things one day at a time. Some days I'm fine and other's I'm a raving lunatic. My husband has been the calmer of the two, though this past week notsomuch. He has really started to lose it in terms of emotionally being vulnerable, though I think it's due to his dad dying during Ramadan last year.

The hardest part for him is having his life in limbo. Like your husband he could really start a course now to learn how to write better in English but then what if he gets the visa? He's not gonna just stay there to finish up a course, you know? There are MANY things like that in his life that he could be doing but because of the unknown factor of when he'll be leaving he can't do much of anything. That must be so frustrating and is unique to the visa beneficiary. I can't even imagine going to bed each night not knowing if you'lll still be in that same bed in a week. I think I take it for granted that my life really won't be the one that changes all too much, other than having to share my personal space and time with someone and having to deal with all the adjustments that go along with it.

So...one day at a time, like you said, chin up, and chug along however slowly. And thank God for it all.

Doodle, in my opinion you do not have the large gaps of time between visiting. No way! You went once and then again 6 months later. huge gaps would be beyond the years mark. Most americans only have vacation time once a year and to expect for than a yearly visit would be unreasonable. I have always seem gaps as being beyond the normal vacation time when couples do not take that time to see each other without a reasonable explaination.

[SandyNJack 5]

We are 39 days in AP.

How do you know if you have red flags? Is there somewhere to see this or do you just know that you have them?

It is very hard when your life is in limbo. Everyone asking any word yet? When is the big day? And most people just do not understand when you have those quiet days and just do not feel up to do anything.

When you FINALLY find the love of your life and can not be with them it is a very cruel turn in life. Both sweet and sour at the same time.

[~~~water~~~ 0]

We are 39 days in AP.

How do you know if you have red flags? Is there somewhere to see this or do you just know that you have them?

It is very hard when your life is in limbo. Everyone asking any word yet? When is the big day? And most people just do not understand when you have those quiet days and just do not feel up to do anything.

When you FINALLY find the love of your life and can not be with them it is a very cruel turn in life. Both sweet and sour at the same time.

Here is a link to the article"dicussing the red flags" Its a really good article posted/written by the member ellis-island

http://www.ilw.com/articles/2006,0323-ellis.shtm

[monnik 0]

Well, according to that article, we only have #2. We only met in person once, and we got married 11 days later, and I had a one-way ticket so I have been here ever since.

We do have an age gap, but it's less that 10 years. We are both still in our 20's (just on opposite ends!) but culturally our ages are reversed. Usually, in Egypt, the male is in his late 20's and the female is younger. So, even though our gap is not huge, it could be considered socially abnormal in Egypt. (Hey... there's that word "abnormal"..... )

As far as AP goes, I could choke someone. It is definitely being stuck in limbo that is the most frustrating. If I knew for a fact that we were denied or would never receive the visa, we could start to make a life here. But, we don't know anything. This is why the EPT was invented...... who wants to wait 2 or 3 months to find out if they are pregnant or not when you need to know if it's safe to drink margaritas TONIGHT!!!!!

I am just saying...... it's cruel to leave us waiting.

I can also tell you that being with your SO doesn't make it any easier, IMO. Well, maybe I should rephrase that. Being with my husband in Egypt doesn't make the wait any easier. Because we still don't feel like we are not accomplishing anything. Also, there are people who are together in the US, but still waiting unnecessarily. Their waiting doesn't seem to carry the same stress. So, to me... the waiting is the difficulty, not the separation. Easy for me to say cause we are together. But, I really feel it.

On another note, every time I talk to my family or my friends about the process and try to explain to them what's taking so long, they always reassure me that it's for the best. If they have to take all of that time, it's probably for a reason. And, we are better off not knowing why they do what they do. Is that just blind faith in the government?? I am not sure. But, I can't change it so I might as well accept it. huh?

Good luck to everyone......I mean it. I know that even weeks of waiting can cause a lot of stress & tears. Months can be painful & cruel. Years.... I can't even imagine what that would feel like. I really send my heart out to anyone who is waiting right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (F)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edited October 8, 2007 by monnik

[doodlebug 3]

I'll try not to pout and it's my own stupid fault for calling DOS .... the woman was very nice and told me that she doesn't imagine that this case will be done before the first of the year.

That's the first time anyone has actually put a date estimate to it. Alhumdulilah for it all.

[~~~water~~~ 0]

they don't know she proablly just dosen't want to get your hopes up

depressing all the same I feel ya

Edited October 9, 2007 by water is wide