Wife raped

[G_and_S 0]

I agree with you Mrs. Johnson06. What happened should not called raped, since she knew the rapist, and

she said he was a friend of hers.

[rika60607 215]

Actually,

whether it was rape or not depends only on whether she agreed to it or kept saying no.

Women sometimes get raped by their husbands, for real.

I agree with you Mrs. Johnson06. What happened should not called raped, since she knew the rapist, and

she said he was a friend of hers.

[Mags 112]

I agree with you Mrs. Johnson06. What happened should not called raped, since she knew the rapist, and

she said he was a friend of hers.

Women can be raped by their friends you know. It isn't just something that happens to strangers.

[G_and_S 0]

A decent person who is considered to be one person's friend would not rape his female friend. The story did not make any sense at all.

[Jim♥Michelle 0]

WOW! The rapist pays the medical bills?

OMG!.. Hmmm...

[pushbrk 12,824]

A decent person who is considered to be one person's friend would not rape his female friend. The story did not make any sense at all.

I'm afraid we're getting all hung up in terminology here.

In the US, we consider a rape to have taken place whenever the woman involved continues to say no and the man proceeds to engage in intercourse. This results in wide range of possible rape scenarios from the least to most violent of acts that fit the range of behavior combinations that constitute rape. I don't condone any such behavior but many tend to envision the violent stranger rape kind of scenario, complete with a beating and knife to the throat anytime they see or hear the word rape or rapist.

In this scenario, I think that's counterproductive at least to the understanding of those who haven't read all the facts presented. Our courts deal with many cases every day where juries need to decide whether the facts presented constitute a rape having occured, even when the accused stipulates to having intercourse.

Decent people sometimes do indecent things. I don't have any problem envisioning a scenario that would constitute "rape" by the simplified definition we use, where sufficient respect for the accused and his family would allow for their keeping the resulting offspring. It happens. It's plausible. The problem is that other explanations seem far more plausible, making convincing a CO of the less plausible story, very difficult indeed.

[Mags 112]

A decent person who is considered to be one person's friend would not rape his female friend. The story did not make any sense at all.

You'd be surprised how many women have had "decent" male friends who then have raped them. Don't discount the story just because you cannot see the scenario happening.

[Caladan 19]

A decent person who is considered to be one person's friend would not rape his female friend. The story did not make any sense at all.

You'd be surprised how many women have had "decent" male friends who then have raped them. Don't discount the story just because you cannot see the scenario happening.

Exactly. It's actually more common than the proverbial dark man in the bushes jumping out and attacking someone. (And one reason a woman might not want to come forward is the people who will say 'you can't have been raped because you know the guy, you must have provoked him.')

[Mrs.J06 4]

A decent person who is considered to be one person's friend would not rape his female friend. The story did not make any sense at all.

You'd be surprised how many women have had "decent" male friends who then have raped them. Don't discount the story just because you cannot see the scenario happening.

Exactly. It's actually more common than the proverbial dark man in the bushes jumping out and attacking someone. (And one reason a woman might not want to come forward is the people who will say 'you can't have been raped because you know the guy, you must have provoked him.')

I guess I didn't make myself very clear:

My point is: If it was rape (no matter if it was a "friend", an uncle or a complete stranger), I can't believe a woman would give her child to the family of the guy who did this to her!

[Jaseball 0]

I can even see keeping the baby. What I can't see is giving the baby to the rapist's family to raise. And while the OP's wife might be totally honest with him, the fact is that there's a more plausible story to the CO: girl has a Filipino boyfriend, means to use the American for a green card and petition for him, oops, gets pregnant, has the 'rapist' take care of the baby so that sometime after lifting conditions they both can follow to join.

I'd see it that way as well.

There are just too many red flags, inconsistent facts, strange decisions, and other issues going on in this situation.

Nobody wants to think their relationship is wrong or they are being used or that they could be fooled by someone they loved, but the fact of the matter is this stuff happens daily.

The OP was in contact with his wife one time and that was to get married. Only together physically one time in the same country and the marriage already took place.

With the pregnancy and child on the way the situation is 100x more complicated.

I really hate it when love is used against a person and their feelings are used against them to further the goals of a scheming person.

My uncle brought in a foreign born fiancee. She wasn't pregnant or had kids, but what she didn't say was she had a boyfriend back in China. The minute she was a US citizen she started the divorce proceedings and the process to bring her boyfriend into the US. She succeeded too. She was willing to live a sham marriage and life for several years and most likely had this plan in place from the start.

It's the same exact type of scenario, except for the OP's wife she got pregnant at an inopportune time and my uncle got married after she was in the country.

[chris4gretchen 1]

well, i had my filipina fiancee read this thread. i asked her if that had happened is it likely the woman would give the baby to the "rapist" family. She said it was possible since she wouldnt want the child born of a rape. Having said that she agreed with me that she didnt believe the story. She felt it was her boyfriend who got her pregnant while having a USA husband. happens there more frequently than you would think.

First if an adult filipina has a male "best friend" thats a boyfriend. the culture there is very conservative. Most women dont date alot and they have a chaperone if they do. One of my fiance's friends wants to find a foreign husband. she of course has a filipino boyfriend who the girl states is not her future, so she is looking while keeping this guy on the side. whole thing sounds like she has the USA husband but kept her filipino boyfriend and he got her pregnant. Funny she didnt tell her USA husband about the baby and "rape" until she had to. ANd she didnt go to the police and file a report. The filipino "rapist" is paying the medical bills ( theres a red flag if you ever needed one) of the future baby and the families agree for his family to take care of the baby once born.

I am sure the girl cried when she told the USA husband. i think she was seeing her whole future crumble away. If i was the USA husband i would stand with the wife but only if she went to the police and filed the rape charge. I would go there and be with her for support. If he raped her, he should be punished and she shouldnt protect him. I think she wont go to the police because she is protecting the guy. fortunate he is in korea right now. i say either she is faithful and loyal to the USA husband and files charges on the "best friend rapist" or she is loyal to the filipino boyfriend and the USA Husband should cut his losses. I might be alittle more compassionate if she had told the husband about the rape when it happened, not when she knew she was pregnant and couldnt hide it any longer. I dont believe the guy made threats to her to stay quiet but yet pays the medical bills and is taking the child when its born. Guys who make threats to keep a rape quiet would deny being the father of the baby, not pay the bills and embrace it.

If she files charges then it looks good to the consulate and you have police reports etc on your side. if she doesnt, they have no hope of getting approved. the consulate is going to see this as fraud by her. no matter what, the CO is not going to believe this anymore than alot of us. I feel bad for the USA husband but this story doesnt jive. And in the end the filipina will end up with the "rapist" and their baby.

Chris

Edited October 3, 2007 by chris4gretchen

[archie07 0]

well, i had my filipina fiancee read this thread. i asked her if that had happened is it likely the woman would give the baby to the "rapist" family. She said it was possible since she wouldnt want the child born of a rape. Having said that she agreed with me that she didnt believe the story. She felt it was her boyfriend who got her pregnant while having a USA husband. happens there more frequently than you would think.

First if an adult filipina has a male "best friend" thats a boyfriend. the culture there is very conservative. Most women dont date alot and they have a chaperone if they do. One of my fiance's friends wants to find a foreign husband. she of course has a filipino boyfriend who the girl states is not her future, so she is looking while keeping this guy on the side. whole thing sounds like she has the USA husband but kept her filipino boyfriend and he got her pregnant. Funny she didnt tell her USA husband about the baby and "rape" until she had to. ANd she didnt go to the police and file a report. The filipino "rapist" is paying the medical bills ( theres a red flag if you ever needed one) of the future baby and the families agree for his family to take care of the baby once born.

I am sure the girl cried when she told the USA husband. i think she was seeing her whole future crumble away. If i was the USA husband i would stand with the wife but only if she went to the police and filed the rape charge. I would go there and be with her for support. If he raped her, he should be punished and she shouldnt protect him. I think she wont go to the police because she is protecting the guy. fortunate he is in korea right now. i say either she is faithful and loyal to the USA husband and files charges on the "best friend rapist" or she is loyal to the filipino boyfriend and the USA Husband should cut his losses. I might be alittle more compassionate if she had told the husband about the rape when it happened, not when she knew she was pregnant and couldnt hide it any longer. I dont believe the guy made threats to her to stay quiet but yet pays the medical bills and is taking the child when its born. Guys who make threats to keep a rape quiet would deny being the father of the baby, not pay the bills and embrace it.

If she files charges then it looks good to the consulate and you have police reports etc on your side. if she doesnt, they have no hope of getting approved. the consulate is going to see this as fraud by her. no matter what, the CO is not going to believe this anymore than alot of us. I feel bad for the USA husband but this story doesnt jive. And in the end the filipina will end up with the "rapist" and their baby.

Chris

Well Chris, your filipina fiancee and my filipina wife seem to think the same way. As a matter of fact, my wife explained it in the exact same words. I don't think Dave has a chance.

[daveg 0]

well, i had my filipina fiancee read this thread. i asked her if that had happened is it likely the woman would give the baby to the "rapist" family. She said it was possible since she wouldnt want the child born of a rape. Having said that she agreed with me that she didnt believe the story. She felt it was her boyfriend who got her pregnant while having a USA husband. happens there more frequently than you would think.

First if an adult filipina has a male "best friend" thats a boyfriend. the culture there is very conservative. Most women dont date alot and they have a chaperone if they do. One of my fiance's friends wants to find a foreign husband. she of course has a filipino boyfriend who the girl states is not her future, so she is looking while keeping this guy on the side. whole thing sounds like she has the USA husband but kept her filipino boyfriend and he got her pregnant. Funny she didnt tell her USA husband about the baby and "rape" until she had to. ANd she didnt go to the police and file a report. The filipino "rapist" is paying the medical bills ( theres a red flag if you ever needed one) of the future baby and the families agree for his family to take care of the baby once born.

I am sure the girl cried when she told the USA husband. i think she was seeing her whole future crumble away. If i was the USA husband i would stand with the wife but only if she went to the police and filed the rape charge. I would go there and be with her for support. If he raped her, he should be punished and she shouldnt protect him. I think she wont go to the police because she is protecting the guy. fortunate he is in korea right now. i say either she is faithful and loyal to the USA husband and files charges on the "best friend rapist" or she is loyal to the filipino boyfriend and the USA Husband should cut his losses. I might be alittle more compassionate if she had told the husband about the rape when it happened, not when she knew she was pregnant and couldnt hide it any longer. I dont believe the guy made threats to her to stay quiet but yet pays the medical bills and is taking the child when its born. Guys who make threats to keep a rape quiet would deny being the father of the baby, not pay the bills and embrace it.

If she files charges then it looks good to the consulate and you have police reports etc on your side. if she doesnt, they have no hope of getting approved. the consulate is going to see this as fraud by her. no matter what, the CO is not going to believe this anymore than alot of us. I feel bad for the USA husband but this story doesnt jive. And in the end the filipina will end up with the "rapist" and their baby.

Chris

I can see why you and her see it that way. But the person was just a old freind from 2005 that came to the Pilippines to visit. Wish I could explain better. But like I said I know her very well from chating cam to cam and on phone like 6 7 hours a day im sure many won't belive me but she is a very good shy sweet girl and was a victim of a rape that was not viloent but its still rape, she is not the type to want to chat or have a side boyfreind and was raisedf by a very good family. Why she didn't tell me or her family at first is becuse she felt embarssed and seems like ashamed it happened.

which no women should feel like if it happened to her. I stayed with her family for most of my stay there they were all so nice, love phillppino people is all I can say. It is one of those thing I guess only us really know how much we love each other and thats hard to explain from writing for me. Anyeway thanks for all the comments and help everyone..

[chris4gretchen 1]

I can see why you and her see it that way. But the person was just a old freind from 2005 that came to the Pilippines to visit. Wish I could explain better. But like I said I know her very well from chating cam to cam and on phone like 6 7 hours a day im sure many won't belive me but she is a very good shy sweet girl and was a victim of a rape that was not viloent but its still rape, she is not the type to want to chat or have a side boyfreind and was raisedf by a very good family. Why she didn't tell me or her family at first is becuse she felt embarssed and seems like ashamed it happened.

which no women should feel like if it happened to her. I stayed with her family for most of my stay there they were all so nice, love phillppino people is all I can say. It is one of those thing I guess only us really know how much we love each other and thats hard to explain from writing for me. Anyeway thanks for all the comments and help everyone..

while we all wish you well Dave and hope for the best for you. its not what we think that matters, its what the CO at the embassy will think. And sadly he isnt going to have the hours of phone and cam with your wife and know how sweet and innocent she is. he's going to hear this story same as us and come to the same conclusion we did. I fear your petition is in alot of serious doubt and will be denied if there isnt police reports to back up her claim. She needs to file charges in order to clear herself and it doesnt sound like thats going to happen on her end. but i do wish you the best with her and your life.

Chris

Edited October 4, 2007 by chris4gretchen

[mox 298]

I can see why you and her see it that way. But the person was just a old freind from 2005 that came to the Pilippines to visit. Wish I could explain better. But like I said I know her very well from chating cam to cam and on phone like 6 7 hours a day im sure many won't belive me but she is a very good shy sweet girl and was a victim of a rape that was not viloent but its still rape, she is not the type to want to chat or have a side boyfreind and was raisedf by a very good family. Why she didn't tell me or her family at first is becuse she felt embarssed and seems like ashamed it happened.

which no women should feel like if it happened to her. I stayed with her family for most of my stay there they were all so nice, love phillppino people is all I can say. It is one of those thing I guess only us really know how much we love each other and thats hard to explain from writing for me. Anyeway thanks for all the comments and help everyone..

I think the poster has all the information he needs at this point to make an informed decision. At this point I can only see this thread degenerating into nothing but bad things. Hoping a mod will consider locking this thread.