"Because everyone in Canada lives in an igloo..."

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo. . .

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)

A : We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them

in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)

A: What, did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big

country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in

Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll

send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it.

Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary,

straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I

sell it in Canada?(USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population

is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a

kind of big horse with horns. (USA )

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone

walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine

before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

[misa 2]

Those are classic! HA!

[Peggy 1]

Too funny

[MissStacey 1]

Love em!!

[Sand 5]

Humm

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

The polar bear one is true, it happened to my brother in high school. I think the guy was from Virginia or something. I had a great time explaining to a native Mississippian that Chicago was colder in the winter than Toronto and had twice the snow of Toronto. I think I blew his mind which is surprising since I had no idea he had one.

[Flames9_RN 358]

yrs ago in prince albert sk, a friend of mine worked at a gas station, was july and an American drove up in a truck and SNOW MOBILES!!!He asked how much further he had to go to find snow in Sk??? But he did leave him a bunch of american budweiser!! Good stuff when one is only 15/16!! lol

[Kathryn41 3,205]

When I was a teenager, I used to work with a summer theatre 'stock' company putting on children's shows at local tourist venues. I was there one day when a car load of Americans drove up with skis strapped on the top of their car and were really put out when they were told there wasn't any snow! True story.

[vnoe 0]

lmao...those are so funny........and it scary!!!

[Tinker 0]

When I was a teenager, I used to work with a summer theatre 'stock' company putting on children's shows at local tourist venues. I was there one day when a car load of Americans drove up with skis strapped on the top of their car and were really put out when they were told there wasn't any snow! True story.

LOL, I can back that one up. They must think Ontario is covered year round.

[Lona.C. 16]

LMFAO I saved it and send it to everyone I know I bet my aliens ( kids ) in canada and bro in germany will get a real kick of it too , lmao

[G&A 1]

HAHAHAHAH OMG!!!! LMOA!!!!

A

[warlord 72]

Wish I could think of a good stupid comeback for my old highschool friend that I recently found on Facebook (whose still in Ontario). I told her about living in Colorado etc for 10 or so years and everything. She then said "You probably like it in Colorado as the weather suits you, you probably don't even get snow there at all".

I was about to say something stupid back but decided not too. She knows I can't stand snow or cold, but come on, I thought it was common knowlodge that Colorado has mountains and Skiing! Maybe I can convince other people that we ski on rocks and dirt instead of snow since we have none or something...

Edited August 24, 2007 by warlord

[Kathryn41 3,205]

hehehe, yes, there are Canadians who are ignorant about the US as well. I am surprised at your friend for not knowing that Colorado hosts some of the best skiing in the US. I guess she doesn't ski:-). (Actually, I think if I weren't living in the South, Colorado would be a wonderful state in which to live - even though I hate winter too. The cold isn't the horrible humid wet winter cold that you get around the Great Lakes where the wind is too lazy to go around you, so it goes through you instead:-) ).

Edited August 24, 2007 by Kathryn41

[Carlawarla 1]

VERY funny Kathryn. You always share some great posts, whether funny or informative.

Thanks!

Carla