VJ alumni

[mybackpages 0]

I just have to add....

You know when I question why someonelike Charles continues to post in MEAN, everyone gets in an uproar and loudly complains that everyone has the right to post and express any opinion they want any where they want....

I agree people are free to post in MENA who are not going through MENA. I post in other threads. I can put my opinion out there and people can either agree or disagree, but it is still there.

No this is not what I mean when I ask Charles why he continues to post in MENA. A simple answer would be that he has a lot of time on his hands and enjoys the commpany of these women, that he feels friendship here....lots of legitimate reasons, but look at his track record here and across VJ....

It appears he keeping coming back to MENA because this is his playground. At best his sense of humor is insulting to the sensibility of many going through MENA and he is unaware of the comotion he causes. At worst he enjoys the drama, it makes him feel superior, he likes to mock us and out men and be condescending.

This is just my conclusion, you will all have to make your own judgements. Go ahead do a little research. You might not agree with my observation, but you have to ask yourself does he play any postive role in this forum at all?

[sarah and hicham 3]

I just have to add....

You know when I question why someonelike Charles continues to post in MEAN, everyone gets in an uproar and loudly complains that everyone has the right to post and express any opinion they want any where they want....

I agree people are free to post in MENA who are not going through MENA. I post in other threads. I can put my opinion out there and people can either agree or disagree, but it is still there.

No this is not what I mean when I ask Charles why he continues to post in MENA. A simple answer would be that he has a lot of time on his hands and enjoys the commpany of these women, that he feels friendship here....lots of legitimate reasons, but look at his track record here and across VJ....

It appears he keeping coming back to MENA because this is his playground. At best his sense of humor is insulting to the sensibility of many going through MENA and he is unaware of the comotion he causes. At worst he enjoys the drama, it makes him feel superior, he likes to mock us and out men and be condescending.

This is just my conclusion, you will all have to make your own judgements. Go ahead do a little research. You might not agree with my observation, but you have to ask yourself does he play any postive role in this forum at all?

Right on!

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...mp;#entry759024

[appletree35 0]

Appletree reporting for duty, getting ready to send send I-751 in a couple of days, we moved from Los Angeles to Las Vegas about 3 months ago, so things are a little crazy here.

Once in a while I come and check how things are going. Thank you for remembering us.

Love

Alma

[AngelK96 0]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...mp;#entry759024

Hey I am pretty sure he used that before. I can't recall I think it was in the why don't we all get along thread that Jean made or something else. As usually he was arguing with JP

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...mp;#entry759024

and still, you can't show where i called her a b!tch. all that proves is i posted a pic.

keep looking

My observation is that most women here actually don't think Charles is a problem, because they have pretty low standards when it comes to what they will take from men. He makes sexist remarks and many women come in and post laughing smileys, as one example. He posts the popcorn smiley in threads that are heated, which in fact, is a passive aggressive attempt to fuel the fire, while at the same time he posts condescendingly "I see nothing has changed in MENA." Which is it? He wants to watch the show or he wants to admonish people and be "above" the arguing? He calls a woman his own age "dear" because he knows it's condescending, yet he argues "she started it" when called on it, all the while insisting his own behavior is above reproach.

But I do agree most women here don't think he's a problem. But then again, you are pretty sexist yourself, Sara. You have just called arguments between women "attacks" and "venom" which completely demeans any sort of discussion around here. Women can discuss, argue, and fight, and considering the topics going around lately about women who are made to feel less than human, I'd think you'd keep your demeaning remarks to a minimum. But that's just me. You also accused "rightbeforeyou" of making up her story, so I guess your defense of Charles and your pissyness at the women here aren't surprising.

ah so the women here have low standards - and that's not a cheap shot on your part? don't worry peezey, everyone thinks you're totally innocent of anything in mena

for those who find you dreadfully dull, crass, and unfunny and are utterly bewildered that the women here haven't all come to the same conclusion, the distinction between peezey's postings and those of yr addle-brained admirers is quite clear. as such, the standards are completely and utterly different.

All right, this really ticks me off! First of all, when I meet a group of people, I don't judge everyone in that group based on what other people are saying. I base my judgements on people by how they TREAT ME! It is near impossible to read every single post in every single thread. Charles has not been rude to me and has not made sexist remarks in threads that I have posted in. Simply because I get along with Charles doesn't make me, how did you say...

"addle-brained admirers" and "women that have low standards"

And when I post the popcorn smiley, it is simply because I think the thread has descended into unneccessary drama! How either of you can call some one out for being rude and calling other people names when you are doing the very same thing. Don't hold other people to the standards that you can't keep for yourself.

You've crossed the line on this one!

Love him up all you want. As Ta said, all bets are off with someone like Charles. And if you can't change your mind based on the examples given (there are dozens more) or do your own search to find the nasty garbage he has posted, including insults about MENA men and muslims, then don't. (and don't tell me you didn't see him post the vibrator smiley to me just a couple days ago) Stay in the dark. But don't expect there not to be a division.

if you'd like, i'll post it again for you. it might improve your disposition

you have to ask yourself does he play any postive role in this forum at all?

one could ask that about quite a few people in this forum, eh?

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

I just have to add....

You know when I question why someonelike Charles continues to post in MEAN, everyone gets in an uproar and loudly complains that everyone has the right to post and express any opinion they want any where they want....

I agree people are free to post in MENA who are not going through MENA. I post in other threads. I can put my opinion out there and people can either agree or disagree, but it is still there.

No this is not what I mean when I ask Charles why he continues to post in MENA. A simple answer would be that he has a lot of time on his hands and enjoys the commpany of these women, that he feels friendship here....lots of legitimate reasons, but look at his track record here and across VJ....

It appears he keeping coming back to MENA because this is his playground. At best his sense of humor is insulting to the sensibility of many going through MENA and he is unaware of the comotion he causes. At worst he enjoys the drama, it makes him feel superior, he likes to mock us and out men and be condescending.

This is just my conclusion, you will all have to make your own judgements. Go ahead do a little research. You might not agree with my observation, but you have to ask yourself does he play any postive role in this forum at all?

um you were, and still are, attempting to stir up drama here. said question by you was a loaded question, and surely not based in innocence on your part. why i read mena is my own business, not yours. and as for if and when i post anything mocking or condescending, maybe it's because i don't agree with what you or some others say?

if mocking or condescending posts were not allowed in mena, i'm sure a few of your posts, and numerous ones by peezey would never appear.

[limah 1]

Appletree reporting for duty, getting ready to send send I-751 in a couple of days, we moved from Los Angeles to Las Vegas about 3 months ago, so things are a little crazy here.

Once in a while I come and check how things are going. Thank you for remembering us.

Love

Alma

Well, that makes 2 of us. I moved to Las Vegas about 2 months ago. Is this heat NOT ridiculous? Where did you move from Alma? I can say this, I am from Chicago and I am looking foward to a winter without 6 feet of snow!

For the record, I come to VJ, every now and then, I just don't sign in. Too much garbage going on. Happy for all of those with successful interviews, I can relate to those who weren't so successful.

My heart goes out to those with marital problems, whether you have posted your stories or not!

Limah

Edited August 17, 2007 by limah

[appletree35 0]

Hi Limah, I moved from Los Angeles and about the heat I feel like I'm in haven I really love hot weather, my energy is the sun. I suppose I have to get ready for the winter, I heard that it get very cold, is something I'm not looking forward, winter is not my season.

In what part of Las Vegas are you?.I leave very close to the Sahara hotel.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...mp;#entry759024

Hey I am pretty sure he used that before. I can't recall I think it was in the why don't we all get along thread that Jean made or something else. As usually he was arguing with JP

OMG you mean.......

I am SHOCKED that someone would actually use such a retarded graphic even once, but OMG twice ???!!!!

[chri'stina 190]

But don't expect there not to be a division.

I think this is what some women on this board have a hard time understanding.

There are those that claim this is a board for support and complain at the bickering bewteen some posters. Yes sometimes thse fights have crossed the line of respect, but at the root of these fights is really a disagreement over what is right and just regarding choices women make and how those choices can be unhealthty esp with in a MENA relationship.

But many of these same women who complain about the drama on this board fail to make a peep when misogynitic or anti MENA/Muslim comments are made. In fact sometimes it appears that they perfer to laugh at these comments and flirt - getting much needed male attention rather than speak up for something they should know in their heart is an insult and should not be tolerated.

Then there are those posters who are not up-to-date on the history of this forum or the behind the scenes relationships. Sometimes they make a post which catches then quite unexpectedly in the middle of this division.

So much misinformation about this forum is perpetuated. If you repeat things enough times, people tend to start to believe them.

That(in bold) was a pretty low blow to your fellow MENA women, whomever you were referring to.

I know it's not my business but I have been reading this thread. I don't condone Charles' behavior in certain situations, and I also don't know why he's always posting here. But I think he might feel a love/hate relationship with MENA. That's just what it seems to me at least. I have seen him write rude things but also have seen him write some supportive things in times of need here, the same I have seen some of the MENA ladies do.

I have seen enough arguing and name calling between just women here at times that that is enough to drive away some people and if people can't admit that, then I don't know what they have been missing over the last year or more here.

So I guess some of you know ppl who were driven away by Charles, and some of you know ppl driven away by the sometimes very negative way of discussing things here(I know it gets negative in OT too not just here so I'm not singling it out). So both sides should just accept that. It's not just one person's fault. It's good though to see people coming together in situations when people really need the support though, which has been happening lately and it's nice to see.

[Jenn! 918]

So I guess some of you know ppl who were driven away by Charles, and some of you know ppl driven away by the sometimes very negative way of discussing things here(I know it gets negative in OT too not just here so I'm not singling it out). So both sides should just accept that. It's not just one person's fault. It's good though to see people coming together in situations when people really need the support though, which has been happening lately and it's nice to see.

I see a big difference. While there may be internal bickering among some of the MENA posters, at least those posters have valuable experience in dealing with MENA consulates, the visa process, the after immigration adjustment, etc. When someone is driving people away without having any real substantive contribution, well....

[peezey 0]

No one is blaming any one person for anything. Some of us refuse to accept his sexist, bigoted behavior, and others do. There is nothing low blowing about calling out women who find this kind of behavior funny. And honestly, I don't know that they do find it funny, but have only learned in their lives the appropriate reaction to ANY man is a positive one, even when it is undeserved. I don't necessarily think they know they are doing it, but they are doing it nonetheless.

I don't see women arguing here as anything the same as an insulting, sexist, bigot who comes in here and spews this stuff to a group of women (who all happened to be married to the men he regularly insults). And clearly I'm not the only one who sees a wide gulf between the two.

Things probably won't change here, but the myth that is perpetuated about this forum about "negativity" deserves some debunking. It is asked why certain things go down the way they do, and this is part of the reason. I would guess 95% or more of us wouldn't have chosen each other out of a crowd to be acquaintances or friends if it weren't for the very tiny commonality of who we chose to marry. So there will be heated, passionate arguments about most anything, because the tiny thing that joins us is just that...tiny (and let's not forget how smart all the women are here)...compared to the rest of our lives, our values, our political views, how we raise children, how we handle money, family, parents, work, religion, communication style, marriage etc. The ####### about everyone just getting along is totally senseless, because discussions and arguments are just that, and have nothing to do with who is around when the chips fall (everyone, clearly).

Edited August 17, 2007 by peezey

[chri'stina 190]

I think arguments and debates are normal and I enjoy a good debate, it can be very challenging in a good way. You learn a lot. But no one can deny that at times insults have flown all over the place during such debates, which makes it a mud slinging match and not a debate. Whether the person has an SO from MENA or not, that behavior should not be tolerated from anyone. I have seen people defend others who have written vile things about others at times here because they are buddies, which I know is what you mean about some defending what Charles writes but I mean ppl besides Charles too.

Anyway, I guess it's not something everyone agrees on.

[mybackpages 0]

But don't expect there not to be a division.

I think this is what some women on this board have a hard time understanding.

There are those that claim this is a board for support and complain at the bickering bewteen some posters. Yes sometimes thse fights have crossed the line of respect, but at the root of these fights is really a disagreement over what is right and just regarding choices women make and how those choices can be unhealthty esp with in a MENA relationship.

But many of these same women who complain about the drama on this board fail to make a peep when misogynitic or anti MENA/Muslim comments are made. In fact sometimes it appears that they perfer to laugh at these comments and flirt - getting much needed male attention rather than speak up for something they should know in their heart is an insult and should not be tolerated.

Then there are those posters who are not up-to-date on the history of this forum or the behind the scenes relationships. Sometimes they make a post which catches then quite unexpectedly in the middle of this division.

So much misinformation about this forum is perpetuated. If you repeat things enough times, people tend to start to believe them.

That(in bold) was a pretty low blow to your fellow MENA women, whomever you were referring to.

I know it's not my business but I have been reading this thread. I don't condone Charles' behavior in certain situations, and I also don't know why he's always posting here. But I think he might feel a love/hate relationship with MENA. That's just what it seems to me at least. I have seen him write rude things but also have seen him write some supportive things in times of need here, the same I have seen some of the MENA ladies do.

I have seen enough arguing and name calling between just women here at times that that is enough to drive away some people and if people can't admit that, then I don't know what they have been missing over the last year or more here.

So I guess some of you know ppl who were driven away by Charles, and some of you know ppl driven away by the sometimes very negative way of discussing things here(I know it gets negative in OT too not just here so I'm not singling it out). So both sides should just accept that. It's not just one person's fault. It's good though to see people coming together in situations when people really need the support though, which has been happening lately and it's nice to see.

You know Stina, you are one of the most compassionate and mediating voices here in VJ. I do respect your observations and thank you for you comments. Below the surface, this really isn't about Charles. This is a public forum and everyone has a right to post anywhere and just about anything they want. For me this is really about the health and welfare of MENA. I think when you "live" in MENA, you get to know the dynamics on a different level. The reputation we have across VJ makes me ill. BUT only those of us who are regular MENA posters have the power to change that reputation.

I was careful to choose my words (the bolded ones). I used "appears" because I do not know the intentions of my fellow MENA posters. All we have to measure is the words or absence of words. What I suggested may not be true at all, but the MENA regulars have a responsibility IMO to make sure our words and actions here are carefully chosen not to make an incorrect appearance if we want to insist that this board is one of support and information.

Some MENA posters argue that they want this to be a positive place, well they should ask themselves what actions are they taking to make that happen. Posts that bring up old grudges or respeat falsehoods about the role of certain memebers are not productive. A postive MENA forum means we will not just have dancing smilies and hugs when the chips are down. We will also have heated disagreements, outraged responses to post that insult the MENA realities...just like life, just like a family.