Looking for work... Driving me crazy!!!!!!!

[deemabrouk 0]

Great discussion, ladies...

My husband has now been here for a little over 2 years. He was not able to work for the first 9 months (temp. EAD from JFK was useless due to waiting a month for SSN, our wedding and honeymoon), which just about drove him crazy.

When he finally got his employment authorization it was VERY difficult to find a job. You'd think he would be qualified for all kinds of positions, but it seems like nobody even considered his education and experience since it wasn't in the US.

He was so excited when he finally got his first job, but he quit after two days (with my firm support). His job was at a local Palestinian restaurant and the owner was a unpleasant slave-driver who paid only $7 a hour, but promised to make my husband a manager "soon." To make matters worse, the owner was constantly swearing in Arabic and making rude, racist remarks about customers (especially Jews). The Mexican guy working there just put his head down and worked hard, but Simo understood everything the guy was saying. Good riddance--Simo quit and we have never gone back to that restaurant, even though the food is fabulous and the guy had catered our wedding.

His second job is the one he still has. He had met a friend of mine at a party and she called him up to offer him a job at a really nice Country Club. They are very nice to him but it doesn't pay too well and it's a long drive to work. I appreciate that he now has a strong job history. a small paycheck and good benefits, but I hope that he can pick a direction for a career path soon!

Simo has so many ideas--some that sound an awful lot like others on this board. He would like to start his own business, he would like to go back to school, but he changes his mind every other week. I would be supportive of anything that he thinks through.

My assessment: be very patient!

Cheers,

Carolyn

if i told him I took someone 9 months to work???

he'd go off the deep end

[ya falaha! 0]

Oh God don't tell him that! Even if it does take awhile to find a job, let him discover that on his own.

[deemabrouk 0]

Oh God don't tell him that! Even if it does take awhile to find a job, let him discover that on his own.

do you think i am crazy??!! wait dont answer that.......

[doodlebug 3]

Great discussion, ladies...

My husband has now been here for a little over 2 years. He was not able to work for the first 9 months (temp. EAD from JFK was useless due to waiting a month for SSN, our wedding and honeymoon), which just about drove him crazy.

When he finally got his employment authorization it was VERY difficult to find a job. You'd think he would be qualified for all kinds of positions, but it seems like nobody even considered his education and experience since it wasn't in the US.

He was so excited when he finally got his first job, but he quit after two days (with my firm support). His job was at a local Palestinian restaurant and the owner was a unpleasant slave-driver who paid only $7 a hour, but promised to make my husband a manager "soon." To make matters worse, the owner was constantly swearing in Arabic and making rude, racist remarks about customers (especially Jews). The Mexican guy working there just put his head down and worked hard, but Simo understood everything the guy was saying. Good riddance--Simo quit and we have never gone back to that restaurant, even though the food is fabulous and the guy had catered our wedding.

His second job is the one he still has. He had met a friend of mine at a party and she called him up to offer him a job at a really nice Country Club. They are very nice to him but it doesn't pay too well and it's a long drive to work. I appreciate that he now has a strong job history. a small paycheck and good benefits, but I hope that he can pick a direction for a career path soon!

Simo has so many ideas--some that sound an awful lot like others on this board. He would like to start his own business, he would like to go back to school, but he changes his mind every other week. I would be supportive of anything that he thinks through.

My assessment: be very patient!

Cheers,

Carolyn

if i told him I took someone 9 months to work???

he'd go off the deep end

It sounds like a lot of that time was planning a wedding and doing the honeymoon thing. I don't think it will take your husband 9 months to work. Have you looked at the average time to get the EAD? I haven't even looked into what to do for that stage of the game yet, does it matter where you live, i.e. do you file in Boston or does everyone go to the same place?

[maggieNomar 0]

Hopefully he'll be one of the lucky ones that gets the EAD fast. We got ours just short of 90 days from when we filed. But like with the rest of this crazy process, no one can predict which category you will fall into.

[♥JP♥ 5]

Great discussion, ladies...

My husband has now been here for a little over 2 years. He was not able to work for the first 9 months (temp. EAD from JFK was useless due to waiting a month for SSN, our wedding and honeymoon), which just about drove him crazy.

When he finally got his employment authorization it was VERY difficult to find a job. You'd think he would be qualified for all kinds of positions, but it seems like nobody even considered his education and experience since it wasn't in the US.

He was so excited when he finally got his first job, but he quit after two days (with my firm support). His job was at a local Palestinian restaurant and the owner was a unpleasant slave-driver who paid only $7 a hour, but promised to make my husband a manager "soon." To make matters worse, the owner was constantly swearing in Arabic and making rude, racist remarks about customers (especially Jews). The Mexican guy working there just put his head down and worked hard, but Simo understood everything the guy was saying. Good riddance--Simo quit and we have never gone back to that restaurant, even though the food is fabulous and the guy had catered our wedding.

His second job is the one he still has. He had met a friend of mine at a party and she called him up to offer him a job at a really nice Country Club. They are very nice to him but it doesn't pay too well and it's a long drive to work. I appreciate that he now has a strong job history. a small paycheck and good benefits, but I hope that he can pick a direction for a career path soon!

Simo has so many ideas--some that sound an awful lot like others on this board. He would like to start his own business, he would like to go back to school, but he changes his mind every other week. I would be supportive of anything that he thinks through.

My assessment: be very patient!

Cheers,

Carolyn

if i told him I took someone 9 months to work???

he'd go off the deep end

If someone had told me that it was going to take 17 months to get a freakin fiance visa I would have gone off the deep end too. Everyone's situation is different, its better to just take it one day at a time and somehow he will find a way to cope.

[Marriednow 4]

WHILE I'M TRYING TO READ ALL THIS, IS THERE A WAY TO SEE ALL THE REPLIES SCROLLING DOWN RATHER THAN HAVING TO PULL THEM UP ONE AT A TIME???? Just call me technologically impaired.....Debbie

[Carolyn 1]

Deep breaths!

No, don't tell your husband it could take 9 months, because everyone's case is different. Plus, your husband didn't come in on a fiance visa, so you don't have to wait to get married to apply for AOS. Employment authorization should take no more than 3 months from when you applied, no?

But for your own knowledge, I don't think 9 months is too uncommon. My husband survived by taking English classes 4 nights a week, cooking fabulous meals for us, learning how to use a computer (he is a wiz now), etc.

Yes, he was a pain in the ###, but this too did pass. Honestly, that 9 months was less troublesome to our marriage than his newfound independence after finding a job, learning to ride the bus (and later getting a car), discovering the local bars and meeting some Moroccans who only wanted to party. Thank God he no longer enjoys their company.

You will both survive this.

[monnik 0]

WHILE I'M TRYING TO READ ALL THIS, IS THERE A WAY TO SEE ALL THE REPLIES SCROLLING DOWN RATHER THAN HAVING TO PULL THEM UP ONE AT A TIME???? Just call me technologically impaired.....Debbie

Go to the top right of the page in an open thread and choose options. Then choose standard view. Here is a pic to help.

Edited August 1, 2007 by monnik

[Nasturtium 500]

I know it took Cairogal's husband 8 or so months, but like Carolyn it was a fiance visa, not a K-3.

you know my husband cannot wrap his head around how fast he managed to get a job (maybe I shouldn't have gotten him a job! maybe I should have made him look for one to begin with!). he totally is taking it for granted as how it should be, and now even being despondant about how "things are going." I remember being in high school with no work history, and having to spend like 2 months looking for a job and finally getting one by the good word of a friend. I tried to explain to him he's only been here 56 days and in that ammount of time he has managed to land a job that makes nearly what I do-- and I've been ehre 29 years.

[deemabrouk 0]

at this point i feel like cancelling the checks(EAD/AOS) and throwing in the towel

[doodlebug 3]

at this point i feel like cancelling the checks(EAD/AOS) and throwing in the towel

[Nasturtium 500]

at this point i feel like cancelling the checks(EAD/AOS) and throwing in the towel

Does he know you're too this point? I'm sorry Dee.

[Caladan 19]

at this point i feel like cancelling the checks(EAD/AOS) and throwing in the towel

Shhh, shhh, sweetie. It's going to be a rough adjustment. It always is, even when everyone's American and everyone can work and your nerves weren't first stressed by dealing with immigration for months and months.

Give it a little time before you do anything rash; you've worked so hard to get to this point.

[peezey 0]

at this point i feel like cancelling the checks(EAD/AOS) and throwing in the towel

Shhh, shhh, sweetie. It's going to be a rough adjustment. It always is, even when everyone's American and everyone can work and your nerves weren't first stressed by dealing with immigration for months and months.

Give it a little time before you do anything rash; you've worked so hard to get to this point.

I really have to disagree with the advice Dee is being given. I think her husband needs to get his ####### together, not her. Adjustment is one thing but this dude is being totally outrageous.

Dee, can he go stay with a friend for a while so you can clear your head?