Manic Monday

[allousa 1]

Thanks SO MUCH MK. I've sent this to Hicham and let him know he needs to start working on this now. Very good advice.

They don't have any family members in the West Bank and to my knowledge they don't know anyone there. All of their family is from Abassan which is in the south of Gaza.

I'll let you know about the progress.

Thank you for being so helpful.

[allousa 1]

MK - the whole thing with my father's death has been the most horrible nightmare. I was his only child and we were very close. He and Hicham were very good friends as well. My dad got sick so suddenly and by the time he found out he had cancer, he only lived a couple more weeks. It was hard for him to be taken so quickly, but at the same time, God did not let him suffer for long and for that I am thankful.

Just a few hours after my father passed, the stepmonster and her family were crawling all over the house taking things and taking important papers out of the house. I was outside making phone calls to family and friends and I was not aware what was going on until after it was done. It was horrible!

The funeral was at their church and she had the pastor talk all about their lives and barely even mentioned me and my dad. And because she was the executor of the estate, she was able to hold everything until the estate closed...even my father's ashes.

Hicham was ready to swim across the ocean just to kick her azz!!!!!! He never, never liked her, even when my father was alive.

I am a very strong person, but not having Hicham with me to go through this....oh...it's been really tough.

I really miss my father. We talked everyday. God did bless us though in that my father got to be with us and meet our son before he left this earth.

Thanks for listening!

[monnik 0]

And let me share just a little bit more bad news.

Some of you may know that my father passed away last October. He found out he had liver cancer and died 2 weeks later. He was on wife #3 who was a total stepmonster. She kept my father's ashes from me and kept my inhertiance from me until the estate closed. Well, I received a certified letter in the mail this weekend from her attorney saying that she is disputing the money my father left me! She did not let me have any of my father's things and she even ended up getting a ton of insurance money...alot more than what was left to me...but she wants it all. #######!!!!!

Losing my father was hard enough, but this is about to do me in. With what is going on with Hicham's case and this, I'm ready for the white jacket that buckles in the back, you know?

I am soooo sorry for your loss allousa. Losing a parent is very hard, especially when you feel so close to them. I lost my dad/best friend 4 years ago, and I still miss him every day. Stepgrouch is not making it any easier for you, but if you have a friend who you can cry or talk with, make use of that friendship......and if not, you can cry or vent with your friends from VJ. Talk to your son about him, too. It might help you let it all out and salvage some of your sanity. I used to tell my niece stories about my dad when I was missing him. She was a year old when he died, but to this day, she talks about him like she knew him! It's so adorable.

I hope that everything gets resolved with your stepmother and with your husband's case very soon.

(((((big hug)))))

[monnik 0]

today... well most of the days lately have completely SUCKED.. nothing is going well lately.. I'm having BIG problems with my husband

That is sucky, dee. Everything will work itself out with communication and kindness. I worry a lot about our adjustment period in the US. Even though my husband and I are used to eachother after 9 months together, I know that America is another element to think about. Just try to work through one small problem at a time.

God bless you guys and I'm sending happy vibes your way!!

[allousa 1]

And let me share just a little bit more bad news.

Some of you may know that my father passed away last October. He found out he had liver cancer and died 2 weeks later. He was on wife #3 who was a total stepmonster. She kept my father's ashes from me and kept my inhertiance from me until the estate closed. Well, I received a certified letter in the mail this weekend from her attorney saying that she is disputing the money my father left me! She did not let me have any of my father's things and she even ended up getting a ton of insurance money...alot more than what was left to me...but she wants it all. #######!!!!!

Losing my father was hard enough, but this is about to do me in. With what is going on with Hicham's case and this, I'm ready for the white jacket that buckles in the back, you know?

I am soooo sorry for your loss allousa. Losing a parent is very hard, especially when you feel so close to them. I lost my dad/best friend 4 years ago, and I still miss him every day. Stepgrouch is not making it any easier for you, but if you have a friend who you can cry or talk with, make use of that friendship......and if not, you can cry or vent with your friends from VJ. Talk to your son about him, too. It might help you let it all out and salvage some of your sanity. I used to tell my niece stories about my dad when I was missing him. She was a year old when he died, but to this day, she talks about him like she knew him! It's so adorable.

I hope that everything gets resolved with your stepmother and with your husband's case very soon.

(((((big hug)))))

Thanks!

I've got lots of pictures about the house and I often tell our son who that is when he looks at him. I also plan on giving him a present every year on his birthday from my dad. He was such a great man and I don't ever want him to be forgotten.

It's still such a "raw" feeling of missing him. Does that ever get better?

[allousa 1]

today... well most of the days lately have completely SUCKED.. nothing is going well lately.. I'm having BIG problems with my husband

That is sucky, dee. Everything will work itself out with communication and kindness. I worry a lot about our adjustment period in the US. Even though my husband and I are used to eachother after 9 months together, I know that America is another element to think about. Just try to work through one small problem at a time.

God bless you guys and I'm sending happy vibes your way!!

Even though Hicham and I lived together here in the states for a couple of years before he got stuck in Morocco, I'm sure we are going to have an adjustment phase. Especially since I have been the only parent...I'm used to our routine. I keep telling myself that I'm going to have to back off and let Hicham be a parent as well.

Deema, I hope that your hubby is being nice to you though. Remember, we're here for ya! :)

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Count to at least 20 before lowering the boom !

Seriously, marriage is a huge adjustment for both sides. But keep trying to remember that you're in your *own* environment, while your husband left his family, his country, his culture -- probably everything he ever knew -- to come here. Of course it can be rough for you, but acknowledge that it's even tougher for him. The familiar framework of his life has completely vanished.

Hehe you thought immigration was hard ?! Noooooope that was the easy part. You're gonna need every bit of patience and understanding that you can muster while he gets used to a whole new life. Give him plenty of space and allow him to be "grumpy"... even let him have some freak-outs. Don't take it personally. It's completely normal. Grit your teeth and keep a lid on your annoyance. Insha'allah it will get better.

-MK

Disclaimer: of course I'm not talking about abusive behavior. This should never be tolerated.

[Ban Hammer 13,113]

Just a few hours after my father passed, the stepmonster and her family were crawling all over the house taking things and taking important papers out of the house. I was outside making phone calls to family and friends and I was not aware what was going on until after it was done. It was horrible!

The funeral was at their church and she had the pastor talk all about their lives and barely even mentioned me and my dad. And because she was the executor of the estate, she was able to hold everything until the estate closed...even my father's ashes.

all of that sounds very familiar, my dad just recently passed away and the family (us kids and his sister) were not notified of anything.

[monnik 0]

Thanks!

I've got lots of pictures about the house and I often tell our son who that is when he looks at him. I also plan on giving him a present every year on his birthday from my dad. He was such a great man and I don't ever want him to be forgotten.

It's still such a "raw" feeling of missing him. Does that ever get better?

Get better? Maybe you're asking the wrong person that question. Everyone's process moves at different speeds, but I have struggled with it. I cry like a maniac sometimes. (((panic attack-type chest heaving, snotty nose, making the uuh-uuh-uuh noise))) But, I also enjoy crying and remembering him. Immediately after every breakdown, I start praying. I know that if I miss him and worry about him that much, that God must love him sooooo much more than that. So, in a way, it knocks me to my knees first so that I can be closer to God. That is pretty much the only comfort I get from the grief. Knowing that he has to be in good hands.

I think that sharing your dad with your son is a great idea. Children have a gift when it comes to simplifying and easing our fears and worries.

[LaL 418]

Count to at least 20 before lowering the boom !

Seriously, marriage is a huge adjustment for both sides. But keep trying to remember that you're in your *own* environment, while your husband left his family, his country, his culture -- probably everything he ever knew -- to come here. Of course it can be rough for you, but acknowledge that it's even tougher for him. The familiar framework of his life has completely vanished.

Hehe you thought immigration was hard ?! Noooooope that was the easy part. You're gonna need every bit of patience and understanding that you can muster while he gets used to a whole new life. Give him plenty of space and allow him to be "grumpy"... even let him have some freak-outs. Don't take it personally. It's completely normal. Grit your teeth and keep a lid on your annoyance. Insha'allah it will get better.

-MK

Disclaimer: of course I'm not talking about abusive behavior. This should never be tolerated.

wonderfully stated MK. We here focus so much on the visa process, a whole new set of challenges emerge once our SO's get here, and imho while the visa process is grueling, marrigage is hard work!

You could look at it as at least during the visa process you are both essentially living normal lives - both in home countries, family around, work, friends, everything familiar. Upon the big move many changes.

[allousa 1]

Count to at least 20 before lowering the boom !

Seriously, marriage is a huge adjustment for both sides. But keep trying to remember that you're in your *own* environment, while your husband left his family, his country, his culture -- probably everything he ever knew -- to come here. Of course it can be rough for you, but acknowledge that it's even tougher for him. The familiar framework of his life has completely vanished.

Hehe you thought immigration was hard ?! Noooooope that was the easy part. You're gonna need every bit of patience and understanding that you can muster while he gets used to a whole new life. Give him plenty of space and allow him to be "grumpy"... even let him have some freak-outs. Don't take it personally. It's completely normal. Grit your teeth and keep a lid on your annoyance. Insha'allah it will get better.

-MK

Disclaimer: of course I'm not talking about abusive behavior. This should never be tolerated.

wonderfully stated MK. We here focus so much on the visa process, a whole new set of challenges emerge once our SO's get here, and imho while the visa process is grueling, marrigage is hard work!

You could look at it as at least during the visa process you are both essentially living normal lives - both in home countries, family around, work, friends, everything familiar. Upon the big move many changes.

Very good point!

Just a few hours after my father passed, the stepmonster and her family were crawling all over the house taking things and taking important papers out of the house. I was outside making phone calls to family and friends and I was not aware what was going on until after it was done. It was horrible!

The funeral was at their church and she had the pastor talk all about their lives and barely even mentioned me and my dad. And because she was the executor of the estate, she was able to hold everything until the estate closed...even my father's ashes.

all of that sounds very familiar, my dad just recently passed away and the family (us kids and his sister) were not notified of anything.

Charles, I'm really sorry to hear that. Know my heart goes out to you.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

all of that sounds very familiar, my dad just recently passed away and the family (us kids and his sister) were not notified of anything.

I am very sorry to hear of your sad news, Charles -- I had no idea of your loss. And you and Nessa were just down here visiting him a couple of months ago.

My heartfelt sympathies to you and your family in this difficult time.

-MK

[Ban Hammer 13,113]

all of that sounds very familiar, my dad just recently passed away and the family (us kids and his sister) were not notified of anything.

I am very sorry to hear of your sad news, Charles -- I had no idea of your loss. And you and Nessa were just down here visiting him a couple of months ago.

My heartfelt sympathies to you and your family in this difficult time.

-MK

thanks he did get to meet nessa over the memorial day weekend. and gone less than a month after. i was able to attend the graveside service as stepmother tried but couldn't hide things from our research abilities.

[maggieNomar 0]

Hang in there Deema. We all expect it's going to be rosey because we wait so long to really be together, but like others have said, it's a big adjustment. Some adjust easier than others. Be patient and allow him some time. you can always come here to vent.

all of that sounds very familiar, my dad just recently passed away and the family (us kids and his sister) were not notified of anything.

Sorry to hear about your dad Charles.

[brnidokiegurl 0]