Concerns and Trust

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Anyway honestly I think there should be a law that if you become an american through another american and get your papers that you should then not be alloud to marry a women from your country and bring her here.

Really this goes for women and men if you obtain your paper through marriage and then become divorce you should not be able to bring another alien here.

I wholeheartedly agree!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Although I hate agreeing with GEG, being an Arab and understanding Arab culture is not the same as being married to one for 20 years, or 10 years. No matter how long you have been exposed to the culture, you will never be in the so called "inner circle". I have found that whenever I try to tell someone something about Arab culture, they get defensive and upset with what I say.

Why hate agreeing with me? I, and a few others, know something lots of other women here don't know and many don't want to hear. It's easy to be offended by it, call it generalizations; takes more work to deal with it, work it into your paradigm, and allow yourself out of your comfort zone when confronted with ideas that you don't want to have to consider.

I could use a DUBIE right now.

I just had a DUBIE

all of it happens here but we are not muslims here this is a muslim country that expects there women to be pure and they behaive like that.

we dont expect our women to be pure

is this geg?

If it's me, it''s also JP and peezy. We've all said the same thing at some point about the difference between Arab and American thinking and culture.

[♥JP♥ 5]

Although I hate agreeing with GEG, being an Arab and understanding Arab culture is not the same as being married to one for 20 years, or 10 years. No matter how long you have been exposed to the culture, you will never be in the so called "inner circle". I have found that whenever I try to tell someone something about Arab culture, they get defensive and upset with what I say.

Why hate agreeing with me? I, and a few others, know something lots of other women here don't know and many don't want to hear. It's easy to be offended by it, call it generalizations; takes more work to deal with it, work it into your paradigm, and allow yourself out of your comfort zone when confronted with ideas that you don't want to have to consider.

I only meant that as a joke.

[Jenn! 918]

I, and a few others, know something lots of other women here don't know and many don't want to hear. It's easy to be offended by it, call it generalizations; takes more work to deal with it, work it into your paradigm, and allow yourself out of your comfort zone when confronted with ideas that you don't want to have to consider.

Well, I can't speak for everyone else, but I don't see where no one wants to hear it. In fact, I think everyone's heard everyone else's thoughts quite a bit. It's not offensive, but I'm not quite sure what you're expecting people to do. It's not like one can become an Arab.

[peezey 0]

I think I'm somewhere in the middle. No one can become an arab, this is true. But there are people who refuse to understand this difference in their husbands. Just because he might drink or smoke or seem more open than the stereotypical arab doesn't mean much when you get down to living together, raising kids, sharing finances, making big decisions. And this is a HUGE place I see women just lose it. Not to mention, we all get more conservative as we get older, and I'm not talking about politics, I'm talking about how we spend our time, money, people we associate with, so to think a once open-minded arab wouldn't do the same is just naive. A man returning to his religion falls into this area, too.

[♥JP♥ 5]

I think I'm somewhere in the middle. No one can become an arab, this is true. But there are people who refuse to understand this difference in their husbands. Just because he might drink or smoke or seem more open than the stereotypical arab doesn't mean much when you get down to living together, raising kids, sharing finances, making big decisions. And this is a HUGE place I see women just lose it. Not to mention, we all get more conservative as we get older, and I'm not talking about politics, I'm talking about how we spend our time, money, people we associate with, so to think a once open-minded arab wouldn't do the same is just naive. A man returning to his religion falls into this area, too.

excellent post.

I would also like to add, women often say "he is very westernized/americanized". How is that supposed to help? Haven't we all gotten screwed over by a guy here in the US?

[AInfante-Saraireh 0]

I was just thinking of Queen Noor and the late King Hussein. She was American and He of course, King of the Hashemites. They got along great! Now I'm sure they had some problems just like any other marriage. Even though she had Arab blood, she was americanized!

[♥JP♥ 5]

I was just thinking of Queen Noor and the late King Hussein. She was American and He of course, King of the Hashemites. They got along great! Now I'm sure they had some problems just like any other marriage. Even though she had Arab blood, she was americanized!

You cannot compare King Hussien (God rest his soul) to the average Jordanian man living in a village in Jordan. King Hussein was highly educated in England and traveled to so many countries by the time he was 20. He was also very wealthy and had been married several times before.

I know it seems like an ideal comparison but Queen Noor's father is actually from Syria, her name is Lisa Halaby because they are from the town Halab in Syria. So she was not your average American woman. She is half arab spent much of her time living in MENA. I am americanzied and I have arab blood too. Its simply not the same.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I, and a few others, know something lots of other women here don't know and many don't want to hear. It's easy to be offended by it, call it generalizations; takes more work to deal with it, work it into your paradigm, and allow yourself out of your comfort zone when confronted with ideas that you don't want to have to consider.

Well, I can't speak for everyone else, but I don't see where no one wants to hear it. In fact, I think everyone's heard everyone else's thoughts quite a bit. It's not offensive, but I'm not quite sure what you're expecting people to do. It's not like one can become an Arab.

Arabiya Katabia, you are now an arab

oops

*only a few more hours until the deathly hallows*

[Jenn! 918]

*only a few more hours until the deathly hallows*

OMG, I know!!! I'm gonna wait till my little sister finsihes though and steal her copy. I just can't leave the house or speak to anyone until then.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I think I'm somewhere in the middle. No one can become an arab, this is true. But there are people who refuse to understand this difference in their husbands. Just because he might drink or smoke or seem more open than the stereotypical arab doesn't mean much when you get down to living together, raising kids, sharing finances, making big decisions. And this is a HUGE place I see women just lose it. Not to mention, we all get more conservative as we get older, and I'm not talking about politics, I'm talking about how we spend our time, money, people we associate with, so to think a once open-minded arab wouldn't do the same is just naive. A man returning to his religion falls into this area, too.

So true

There is a concept in psychology called "mirroring" that is taught in job searching and dating classes. It uses the innate preference we all have for those who reflect you back to you and employs body language, syntax, and other cues to create an impression that will make someone attracted to you. What is attractive and what you want to protect and preserve differs by culture. For example, when we discussed honor killings, it's difficult to conceive of how a relative could kill a loved one to preserve so-called "honor", but this is cultural (not limited to any particular culture). The thinking and triggers behind much of what we do are subtle and cultural. It's not easy to melt into a system if you don't have a feel for the cues behind the motivations involved.

Edited July 20, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[UmmSqueakster 54]

*only a few more hours until the deathly hallows*

OMG, I know!!! I'm gonna wait till my little sister finsihes though and steal her copy. I just can't leave the house or speak to anyone until then.

I've got my copy reserved for pick up tomorrow morning at 7:21 am. The husband wasn't convinced that a midnight Harry Potter party would be fun

Also pissy because dhl is holding my dumbledore's army bag hostage. I have to go ransom it tonight so I can have it in time for tomorrow!

[we_have_2day 0]

i'm convinced a lot of these men marry american women thinking they were okay with the cultural differences, thinking they could handle having a western wife. .. and once they get here and live here a while, they realize its not something they can do. the guilt factor could set it. the culture differences. i'm sure some come here with good intentions of it working out. just like i'm sure some of the women think they can handle an arab man and realize its not for them once they've been married. to each their own!

Bingo

[lasso 0]

I smoked but did not inhale! lol lol lol

American women we are so loving and caring with a pure heart

[allousa 1]

tikbj - I'm curious as to your intentions of your posts. Did you come here to "warn" us against Arab men?

I'm not sure what the whole post for the poll of overage and overweight women on VJ was for. Little odd, don't ya think?